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How to Generate Unstoppable Self-Esteem

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Image Credit | Joel Brown

Maybe you can relate to this painful experience?

An excellent opportunity reveals itself to you. All the pieces of the puzzle are ready to be put in place. This is your big chance to step up and play a bigger game… and yet something stops you.

You stall… and self-sabotage.

You make every excuse under the sun not to…send that email, or make that phone call, or approach that person… because underneath the initial excitement, you have a bad feeling.

Maybe acting on that opportunity is a bad, bad, scary thing to do?

“It doesn’t feel right” you tell your friends.

And because they’re all about being aligned and only doing what intuitively “feels right” they accept it.

 

But Deep Down You Know It’s A Cop Out

You know that you’re actually a little bit scared – of rejection, of messing up, or even of it being a success and having too much on your plate to juggle.

A wise man once told me that we don’t do what we know we should do today because we’re afraid we don’t have what it takes to cope with tomorrow.

And man, how true this is.

His words would resonate in my ears for many years to come. And every time there was an opportunity to step up and I didn’t, I’d be kicking myself for being such a cop out.

I know I’m not alone in this.

I see it all the time with my clients – just before their business explodes.

The problem is, if left unchecked, it can cause major self-sabotage at a critical moment.

And the thing is, even though we know the logic of the situation, it doesn’t seem to help us move forward.

Have you noticed that?

Even when you’re aware that you’re stepping back, when you should be pushing forward – and you’ve dealt with each scenario in your head… have you noticed how you still can’t shed that feeling of wanting to fall back to how things were?

I know I have.

Which was why I needed to find a solution to it.

I knew if I didn’t crack it, every time I wanted to go for something, I’d be constantly making progress, then messing it up.

Making progress, putting myself out there, then shrinking back and never quite hitting the big time with my business.

But to deal with the symptom, we need to tackle the root cause of the problem.

And the root cause isn’t that you’re deliberately, subconsciously tripping yourself up.

The root cause, is your level of self-esteem.

 

The Myth of Self-Sabotage

Most people stop their awareness at “I’m not letting myself go any further because I’m self-sabotaging”… but this doesn’t talk to the root cause of the problem.

Nor does it address a solution.

To fix it, we need to go deeper…

Now, you know on the surface you’re a good person. Hell, if anyone asked you, you’d probably say you were nice, honest, upstanding and helpful… all good qualities.

But what I’ve found in working deeply with people around the subject of success and money is that actually, even though we may appear confident on the surface, just underneath that most of us are pretty unsure of ourselves.

We wonder if we deserve success.

We doubt that people will really like us when they get to know us.

We struggle to see ourselves really thriving, because what happens when the other shoe drops.

And if you can relate to this, then you have the awareness that puts you ahead of the curve. Because it is these very thoughts that make it impossible to get real traction on your projects… And what you’ll find is any progress you do make through sheer hard work and effort, will be undone in a moment if you don’t sort out the root of the problem.

“The antidote to self-sabotage is in creating Sky-High Self-Esteem.” – Laura Leigh Clarke | ReTweet This

 

Believe In yourself Picture Quote

 

How to Create *Permanent* Sky-High Self- Esteem

The only fix to this is to increase your current levels of self-esteem. And the way to do this is to remove all the thoughts to the contrary AND then put massive focus on the reasons we deserve to have what we want, thereby cultivating tip-top, top-notch self-esteem.

Here is how you do this….

  1. Take out a fresh piece of paper, and decide on your desired outcome. I.e. what you’d like to have happen if you had enough self-esteem for it not be an issue. For example, earn x amount per month, or have y clients on your books, or start z business.

Whatever it is that you want to create… 

  1. Write your outcome in the centre of the page, and draw a circle round it. This is the centre of the self-esteem map you’re going to create around it. The way to phrase the outcome is in note form, as if you were answering the question: What outcome do you want to achieve?
  1. Next you’re going to have reasons as to why you deserve this outcome shooting off in other circles which can be attached to the central circle, or to each other – as your brain sees fit. You’re looking to write down 200 reasons.
  1. Keep your reasons short – you want to get as many on the page as possible. And to get to the 200 go round all the different areas of your life, past and present. Look at everything, even if it’s a tenuous reason. We’re looking to layer into your psyche the feeling that you are deserving… and the brain just sees reasons.
  1. Get as detailed as you can – you’re looking for as many reasons as possible to layer the notion into your mind that you actually do deserve to have whatever it is you chose to map.

This is what it should look like, but you can build on this and make it massive!

Self Esteem Map Build Confidence

Remember you’re looking for anything that will increase your feeling of worthiness, and deserving. I actually call this a “Because I’m Worth it Map” – which goes down well with the ladies, but chaps, call it a Self-Esteem Map, or a Making it Happen Map if that works better 😉

Go head now, grab a pen and paper and make a start.

And to help you out you can download an example here one of my students has kindly shared with us. 🙂

Do it in your journal if you have one, and if it’s handy. If not, do it on a scrap of paper, and throw it away, and do another one later. It’s all good practice.

You’re rewiring your neurology in a new way – the more you can do it, the more powerful the result.  You can always make a start and then add to your map later on.

 

The Results You Can Expect

I’ve won competition stock market trading doing this.

I got my book published using this exact same method.

I’ve also used it to win marketing competitions and gain clients when I needed them.

I’ve had people tell me they’ve had cash windfalls, manifested new shoes and one lady even went from working in a company, being totally stressed out and doing everything, to getting cut into a directorship and having a profit share.

You see, when you shift your perception of yourself, what you feel you deserve shifts too – and this is turn is unconsciously picked up by those around you.

As you get over 150 reasons plus, you may start to feel differently. The shift may appear subtle. Your perception may change. Thoughts that held you back once may start to feel like a distant dream. Push through this shift and get to your 200 reasons so you can really start to live in this new, more confident awareness… as this is where your life will change dramatically.

Once you’ve done this exercise – don’t be surprised if all of a sudden people start treating you better. You can also expect to feel freer, more confident, more capable, and more able to take on the challenges you face in pursuit of your dreams.

 

Time To Put Pen To Paper!

Why wait to have all this good stuff?

Go ahead and grab a piece of paper or your note book, and start creating your Self-Esteem Map for that goal that is most important to you right now.

You owe it to yourself.

Leave a comment sharing what goal you’re going to work on…

And if you need any help, or clarification – just ask.

I read every comment.

To Your Success!

 

Laura Leigh Clarke

a.k.a. the Whole Heart, Whole Brain Business Mentor

Wire Yourself for Wealth

 

Laura Leigh Clarke is the unorthodox Business Coach, Recovering Quantum Physicist, Founder of ProsperityQM, Geek and a die-hard Doctor Who fan. She also helps people clear their money blocks and limiting beliefs so they can manifest the life and business they really want. Download Your Tool Kit for Making a Quantum Shift in Your Business, and watch your results explode!

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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