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How to Generate Unstoppable Self-Esteem

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Image Credit | Joel Brown

Maybe you can relate to this painful experience?

An excellent opportunity reveals itself to you. All the pieces of the puzzle are ready to be put in place. This is your big chance to step up and play a bigger game… and yet something stops you.

You stall… and self-sabotage.

You make every excuse under the sun not to…send that email, or make that phone call, or approach that person… because underneath the initial excitement, you have a bad feeling.

Maybe acting on that opportunity is a bad, bad, scary thing to do?

“It doesn’t feel right” you tell your friends.

And because they’re all about being aligned and only doing what intuitively “feels right” they accept it.

 

But Deep Down You Know It’s A Cop Out

You know that you’re actually a little bit scared – of rejection, of messing up, or even of it being a success and having too much on your plate to juggle.

A wise man once told me that we don’t do what we know we should do today because we’re afraid we don’t have what it takes to cope with tomorrow.

And man, how true this is.

His words would resonate in my ears for many years to come. And every time there was an opportunity to step up and I didn’t, I’d be kicking myself for being such a cop out.

I know I’m not alone in this.

I see it all the time with my clients – just before their business explodes.

The problem is, if left unchecked, it can cause major self-sabotage at a critical moment.

And the thing is, even though we know the logic of the situation, it doesn’t seem to help us move forward.

Have you noticed that?

Even when you’re aware that you’re stepping back, when you should be pushing forward – and you’ve dealt with each scenario in your head… have you noticed how you still can’t shed that feeling of wanting to fall back to how things were?

I know I have.

Which was why I needed to find a solution to it.

I knew if I didn’t crack it, every time I wanted to go for something, I’d be constantly making progress, then messing it up.

Making progress, putting myself out there, then shrinking back and never quite hitting the big time with my business.

But to deal with the symptom, we need to tackle the root cause of the problem.

And the root cause isn’t that you’re deliberately, subconsciously tripping yourself up.

The root cause, is your level of self-esteem.

 

The Myth of Self-Sabotage

Most people stop their awareness at “I’m not letting myself go any further because I’m self-sabotaging”… but this doesn’t talk to the root cause of the problem.

Nor does it address a solution.

To fix it, we need to go deeper…

Now, you know on the surface you’re a good person. Hell, if anyone asked you, you’d probably say you were nice, honest, upstanding and helpful… all good qualities.

But what I’ve found in working deeply with people around the subject of success and money is that actually, even though we may appear confident on the surface, just underneath that most of us are pretty unsure of ourselves.

We wonder if we deserve success.

We doubt that people will really like us when they get to know us.

We struggle to see ourselves really thriving, because what happens when the other shoe drops.

And if you can relate to this, then you have the awareness that puts you ahead of the curve. Because it is these very thoughts that make it impossible to get real traction on your projects… And what you’ll find is any progress you do make through sheer hard work and effort, will be undone in a moment if you don’t sort out the root of the problem.

“The antidote to self-sabotage is in creating Sky-High Self-Esteem.” – Laura Leigh Clarke | ReTweet This

 

Believe In yourself Picture Quote

 

How to Create *Permanent* Sky-High Self- Esteem

The only fix to this is to increase your current levels of self-esteem. And the way to do this is to remove all the thoughts to the contrary AND then put massive focus on the reasons we deserve to have what we want, thereby cultivating tip-top, top-notch self-esteem.

Here is how you do this….

  1. Take out a fresh piece of paper, and decide on your desired outcome. I.e. what you’d like to have happen if you had enough self-esteem for it not be an issue. For example, earn x amount per month, or have y clients on your books, or start z business.

Whatever it is that you want to create… 

  1. Write your outcome in the centre of the page, and draw a circle round it. This is the centre of the self-esteem map you’re going to create around it. The way to phrase the outcome is in note form, as if you were answering the question: What outcome do you want to achieve?
  1. Next you’re going to have reasons as to why you deserve this outcome shooting off in other circles which can be attached to the central circle, or to each other – as your brain sees fit. You’re looking to write down 200 reasons.
  1. Keep your reasons short – you want to get as many on the page as possible. And to get to the 200 go round all the different areas of your life, past and present. Look at everything, even if it’s a tenuous reason. We’re looking to layer into your psyche the feeling that you are deserving… and the brain just sees reasons.
  1. Get as detailed as you can – you’re looking for as many reasons as possible to layer the notion into your mind that you actually do deserve to have whatever it is you chose to map.

This is what it should look like, but you can build on this and make it massive!

Self Esteem Map Build Confidence

Remember you’re looking for anything that will increase your feeling of worthiness, and deserving. I actually call this a “Because I’m Worth it Map” – which goes down well with the ladies, but chaps, call it a Self-Esteem Map, or a Making it Happen Map if that works better 😉

Go head now, grab a pen and paper and make a start.

And to help you out you can download an example here one of my students has kindly shared with us. 🙂

Do it in your journal if you have one, and if it’s handy. If not, do it on a scrap of paper, and throw it away, and do another one later. It’s all good practice.

You’re rewiring your neurology in a new way – the more you can do it, the more powerful the result.  You can always make a start and then add to your map later on.

 

The Results You Can Expect

I’ve won competition stock market trading doing this.

I got my book published using this exact same method.

I’ve also used it to win marketing competitions and gain clients when I needed them.

I’ve had people tell me they’ve had cash windfalls, manifested new shoes and one lady even went from working in a company, being totally stressed out and doing everything, to getting cut into a directorship and having a profit share.

You see, when you shift your perception of yourself, what you feel you deserve shifts too – and this is turn is unconsciously picked up by those around you.

As you get over 150 reasons plus, you may start to feel differently. The shift may appear subtle. Your perception may change. Thoughts that held you back once may start to feel like a distant dream. Push through this shift and get to your 200 reasons so you can really start to live in this new, more confident awareness… as this is where your life will change dramatically.

Once you’ve done this exercise – don’t be surprised if all of a sudden people start treating you better. You can also expect to feel freer, more confident, more capable, and more able to take on the challenges you face in pursuit of your dreams.

 

Time To Put Pen To Paper!

Why wait to have all this good stuff?

Go ahead and grab a piece of paper or your note book, and start creating your Self-Esteem Map for that goal that is most important to you right now.

You owe it to yourself.

Leave a comment sharing what goal you’re going to work on…

And if you need any help, or clarification – just ask.

I read every comment.

To Your Success!

 

Laura Leigh Clarke

a.k.a. the Whole Heart, Whole Brain Business Mentor

Wire Yourself for Wealth

 

Laura Leigh Clarke is the unorthodox Business Coach, Recovering Quantum Physicist, Founder of ProsperityQM, Geek and a die-hard Doctor Who fan. She also helps people clear their money blocks and limiting beliefs so they can manifest the life and business they really want. Download Your Tool Kit for Making a Quantum Shift in Your Business, and watch your results explode!

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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