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How to Build Better Habits With 3 Practical Steps

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While it’s in our nature to want to improve and achieve our goals, what often stops us from getting there, is a lack of understanding of how we operate as individuals. Luckily for us, thanks to the latest discoveries in neuroscience (the science that studies the brain), we can learn how to train our brain more effectively to live healthier, more productive, and inspired lives.

Part of that training resides in the creation of better habits which is nothing more than a systematic repetition of desired actions. The problem with picking up good habits is that we often experience a gap between our desired intentions and actual outcomes and this is mainly due to a lack of alignment in our brain. Our brain is divided into 3 main parts (the rational, emotional, and instinctive) and while they all serve their function, they often disagree with each other creating an internal tension that leads us to poor results. 

The good news is we can learn how habits are formed and with the right mindset, knowledge, and patience, we can let go of bad ones and build good ones.

According to behavioral expert BJ Fogg, habits are formed around three elements: cue, routine, and reward, the so-called “habit loop”.

Cue – This refers to the initial trigger motivating our desired behavior, and it can either come from our external environment (ex. phone notification) or from our internal environment (ex the desire to plan our day). 

Routine – This refers to the action required to perform our desired habit, whether that is deciding to read more or stop mindlessly scrolling on social media.

Reward – This is the most enjoyable part and is what motivates our brain to perform the behavior. As human beings, we are hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain and so when we align our desired behavior with a great reward, we are much more likely to pursue it. Rewards can be tangible (receiving money), or intangible (getting recognized by a friend) but what matters most, is to choose ones aligned to our wellbeing and personal growth. Rewarding yourself with 2 slices of cheesecake every time you succeed in going to the gym, is a clear step in the wrong direction.

The key to building healthier habits is in playing around with the routine and reward to find the combination that works best. There are several studies trying to demonstrate how long it takes to build a habit, and while there is no exact number, the one thing needed is a continuous repetition of effort.

“Habits are not a finish line to be crossed, they are a lifestyle to be lived.” – James Clear

Putting the habit loop into practice

Let’s say you want to read Addicted 2 Success 5 times a week. Now that you are clear on the outcome, it’s time to understand the nature of the reward. To make the most of this step, you must dig deep to explore the WHY of you wanting to read Addicted 2 Success. Other than a desire to be well informed, you could be driven by a fear of missing out or by the aspiration of starting a blog. While there is no right answer, the more reasons you can come up with, the more your brain will put a value on this activity and identify it as a motivating experience. 

Willpower is undoubtedly important, but so is setting up your environment for success. If you are planning on reading from a browser, closing all other tabs or putting your phone away are simple techniques to resist any form of temptation and distraction.

Next, identify the cue. What could be the trigger driving you to consider this new habit? Maybe it’s whenever you are having a low moment, but if you want to “win easily”, try directly time-boxing it in your calendar. As you can imagine, the second approach which is more proactive, will significantly increase your chances of completion. Learn more about timeboxing technique here: https://www.timecamp.com/blog/2021/03/timeboxing-technique-to-reclaim-your-time/

And if you want to take it to the next level, focus on practicing the so-called “if-then technique”.

In this case, you could say “if it’s 7 pm on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday then I will read Addicted 2 Success”. By taking this approach, not only are you avoiding tapping into your precious willpower but also creating a stronger connection between the situation(if) and the action I want to take (then). 

Want to know how this simple trick can increase your chances of success? In one study, 91% of people who used an if-then plan stuck to an exercise program versus 39% of non-planners!

“Practice isn’t the thing that you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” – Malcolm Gladwell

Now it’s time to play around with the reward. My suggestion is to focus on intrinsic rewards such as tracking the number of articles or time you spent reading as when we rely solely on extrinsic rewards that bring us immediate gratification (ex. validation, unhealthy food),we might succeed in forming the habit but not in growing as people.

As with all great things in life, growth only happens at the end of our comfort zone, but with the right knowledge, you can accelerate that process.

Passionate entrepreneur on a quest to help people live more empowering and expansive lives, Filippo di Lenardo is the Co-Founder of 3SSENTIA, the SMART personal management system that helps professionals fulfil their personal and professional goals more effectively. Filippo is also a coach and co-founder of Leap2yourbest, a personalised 2-day program designed to help entrepreneurs accelerate their personal and business growth.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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