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An Honest Guide To Life

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Life is tough. For me, it’s a constant battle between the never ending negative thoughts and the positive thoughts that I want to multiply even more.

As I evaluate my entire life, I discovered some pretty profound insights. Before we begin, I want to warn you that you’ll never start this blog post again with the same perspective.

These are the honest insights I would like to share with you:

1. We all feel like crap sometimes

There are days where I feel like my life is a mess. Your giant friend Tony Robbins has these days. The self-proclaimed guinea pig Tim Ferris has these days; we all have these days. What I’ve figured out is that we are all as messed up as each other.

Rather than trying to understand your problems, embrace them. See your problems as little warning signs for areas of your life that aren’t quite 100% yet. Don’t ignore how you feel, accept it, take a deep breath and be happy you are alive to feel anything at all.

2. Serendipitous moments

Serendipity is a beautiful thing. Last week I lost exactly $5 in the car wash coin changer. Today, I found a $5 note right next to the coin changer, and there were two other people all in the same area. Chance? I don’t think so. Deciding not to blow up at the car wash attendant was the reason this moment happened to me. It was a reminder to always trust in being kind.

Another moment was when I was asked to serendipitously invite a woman to a charity ball. I had no one. I was feeling like a hopeless single man that had all the success in the world except the one thing that mattered: love.

I asked someone to the charity ball I thought would say no. She said yes. Then we went on a date and later it became something more. Could I have predicted this serendipitous moment? No.

It happened because I kept having faith in humanity and I didn’t stop putting out good vibes every single say. Ponder that.

3. Trust the end game

Loving someone is hard. There will be times when you wonder what an earth you’ve got yourself into. Nobody ever aligns to your exact blueprint as much as you try to enforce this requirement. I’ve learned that we attract the one who’s often very different to us to fill in the voids of our life that we can’t fill in ourselves. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s not supposed to.

There are other times to trust as well. When you get sick and can’t get out of bed that’s a sign. It’s part of the end game, and it’s a stark reminder to stop living life at 40%. Trust in all the moments that seem less than desirable. Don’t try and make sense of everything because you’ll never find truth.

You are the truth. Forget hopelessness and trust in finding your bliss. It’s there, somewhere. Keep searching for it.

4. We’re born to shine

You may not feel like you are a shining light for anyone, but you are. Somewhere in secret, someone is using your life as an example. You weren’t born to be mediocre; you were born to shine. You were created to do something that is purposeful and phenomenal.

You have it inside of you and so do I. Unlocking your inner sunlight so that you can shine, is the tricky part. I’ll give you a hint; focus on others, and you’ll begin to find what you’re looking for. It’s who you are becoming that matters.

When you let yourself shine things happen in your life without you even trying. People are attracted to you because of the person that you are, not how you look, or how much money you have.

I’ve forgotten this so many times until recently. My luck has started to change, yet I’m still the same person with the same flaws. The only difference now is I don’t give a F#&%. Opinion means nothing. Purpose means everything.

5. If you can change the world through your passion, then your time is now

If you believe you can change the world through your passion, then it’s time to show up. The time is now to show us what you have and to face into rejection. Your aim should be to change the world with your passion. Forget about making a dent, and concentrate on shaking the planet with your gift.

6. You’re already lucky

Right now, there is someone in another country facing the effects of war or starving from not being able to find food. Meanwhile, you’re here with your fancy computer, using your high-speed internet to read this blog post.

Are you really that hardly done by? You create your own luck and luck will make you happy. While this thought is powerful, it’s meaningless if you don’t believe you can be lucky.

“You could be the luckiest son of a gun on the planet, but you’ll never feel that way unless you are consciously aware of it. You must believe you are already lucky to become even luckier”

7. Time is all we have

Let’s look at your calendar for yesterday. I’m willing to bet there was a lot of useless activities that sucked up your time and took you away from feeling fulfilled. This is not a horrible mess its part of our human DNA.

You procrastinate for a whole host of reasons and so do I. Given that time is all we have, and it’s the currency of our life, we need to take stock of where it’s going. It’s not about doing more with the time you have, it’s about taking away the things that stop you from living in your bliss.

Spend the time you have on investments that have compounding returns. The best one is personal development. What does that mean? Any activity that helps you grow as a person such as:

– Books on success and human achievement

– Events that teach you about life

– Inspirational movies that change your perspective

– Coaching and mentoring

8. Reactivity kills the Zen Monk

We’re all pissed off a lot of the time. Reacting to the small stuff get’s you lost in your head. People are going to upset you and events you don’t like are going to occur. Rather than react, try observing instead. Embrace the art of patience and try seeing everything from the opposite point of view.

Ask the question that nobody is asking. Flip the problem upside down and blow people away. Take all those default negative thoughts and do nothing with them for a while. By not reacting, you stop stabbing the Zen Monk that hides within all of us. The best part is, you find happiness.

9. Let tragedy bring you back to reality

The sad thing is we are all going to get hit by a tragedy at some point in life. The amazing thing that you may not have realized is that there are huge benefits. When your emotions hit rock bottom, the only place they have to go is back up again.

As well as that, tragedy is like hitting the reset button on your computer. It makes you revalue everything in your life again. You generally come to the realization that love, purpose, time and being you is all that matters.

You become aware that you’re only here for a split second and that you’ve got to embrace every event as if it’s part of the journey. Events can be happy or sad, and that’s a given. What you do with the events in your life is up to you. I am commanding you to use them as the best thing that’s ever happened to you. I’m commanding you to see the pain but not suffer from it!

What’s advice on life has helped you? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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