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7 Things You Need to Start Doing to Take Back Control of Your Life

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losing control
Image Credit | Joel Brown

We all get busy in life with work, children, partner, family, boss, friends and so much more. It can be difficult to juggle everything, and usually because we try to meet the needs of everyone else, we end up neglecting our own needs. Trying to fulfill our many responsibilities can create much stress and overwhelm to the point where you are caught in what can only feel like a tornado.

When this happens you are caught in a vicious cycle where you keep trying to meet the needs of others. This causes stress, anxiety, worry and can affect your relationships, your performance at work, your health and overall wellbeing. When you bounce from one situation to another you are not truly living but merely surviving.

If you want to live a life of true happiness you must break this cycle. You must change this situation and become more intentional about building a positive life where you can be happy and successful. The happiest and most successful people in the world ensure that they do not get caught in this whirlwind.

Follow these 7 steps below to break free of this situation and get focused:

1. Establish your goals

In order to reclaim control over your life, you must establish what you want from life and where you want your life to go. This will give you focus and direction and ensure that life doesn’t pass you by.

2. Have a daily agenda

In the evening or first thing in the morning, take time to establish your most important tasks for that day. Include appointments and include activities that will move you closer towards YOUR goals and what you want. Even if you have to go to work, look after children and attend important appointments, you must include activities that relate to your purpose and passions in life. No one else is going to work on these for you, so you must take back control and work on what you want.

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey

3. Develop a morning routine

Those who have control of their lives and are successful are those who rise early and have a routine. Instead of snoozing the alarm, running about like a ninja getting ready for work, rushing to get to work on time; those who live their life on their terms create a morning routine that works for them, so that they can start the day working on their goals before anyone else has a chance to bother them.

Successful people who build their lives use the time in the morning to set themselves up for a positive day. If you can exercise, read, write or work towards your goals in the morning then you will feel like a rockstar the rest of the day.

4. Unplug and get outside

Technology is wonderful and we can do amazing things with our smartphones, but it is so important to unplug from all devices more often. Many say we have no time for reading, writing, gym or working on goals. However, in reality, many of us waste all of our evenings sitting in front of the TV, whilst surfing the internet on our tablets and answering social media and texts on our phones. This will not get you the life that you want. You must commit to changing this. Unplug! Start working towards what you want or life will slip by and you won’t even notice.

5. Be present

The sure way to increase your anxiety, stress levels or continuing to react to life is focusing on what happened in your past or worrying about what might happen in the future. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that the only moment that we have is the here and now. By focusing on the present moment you can remind yourself of what is important and reclaim the present moment. Slow down, look at nature, dream, spend time with family, work on your goals. Because in the end emails and chores can wait.

6. Learn to say no

Many of us find it very difficult to say no to the requests of others because we fear they may judge us. We are constantly being pulled in various directions from work, children, friends, family, spouse. It can be difficult to juggle all of the needs of others, and when we try to meet all these needs we get stressed, unhappy and burnt out.

We must make sure that we have the courage to say no to things that we do not want to do and ensure that we aren’t just saying yes because we are worried about others reactions. Remember, this is your life, so be kind to yourself and take back the time that you deserve to work on you.

“It takes effort to say no when our heart and brains and guts and, most important, pride are yearning to say yes. Practice.” – Cole Harmonson

7. Become immune to negative people

In life there are always going to be people who say negative things about you. To ensure you live your life on your terms, you must become immune to their judgement. When you start taking control of your life and following your dreams, be aware that others may have opinions on that and may give you negative feedback.

Feedback is vitally important in order to improve on things but when it is just nasty in an attempt to rip you apart, they have their own problems and demons to deal with that has nothing to do with you, so don’t let it get to you. Stay focused on your purpose and your agenda and they will move on to pick on someone else.

It is easy to get caught up in the roller coaster of life, but nothing is ever produced, created or fulfilling when life goes past in a blur. Use these tips above to take back control of your life and begin to live a truly happy, successful and abundant life.

What are you currently doing to take back control of your life? Leave your thoughts below!

Lorna Harkins is a personal & professional coach, using coaching to help clients overcome obstacle, cultivate a mindset for success and achieve their goals. It is her mission to ensure that everyone knows that they have the ability to be the hero, to have what they want, and then to empower them to take action to make their life and existence one of meaning, fulfilment and success. If you liked this article follow her on twitter @_bafr.

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Life

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Find True Happiness

Comparison is the thief of joy; it robs us of our happiness, self-esteem, and peace of mind

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How to stop comparing yourself to others
Image Credit: Midjourney

In today’s hyperconnected world, it’s easier than ever to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn constantly bombard us with curated highlights of other people’s lives, making it seem like everyone else is happier, more successful, and more fulfilled than we are. (more…)

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Life

Harness the ‘Battery Effect’ to Transform Life’s Tensions into Your Greatest Strength

Recharge your life batteries by shifting your mindset today

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Battery effect in life
Image Credit: Midjourney

I believe our life capacity is determined by the skillsets we develop on this spinning rock we call Earth. By “life capacity,” I mean our ability to embrace and sustain joy. (more…)

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Life

Doing This for 30 Minutes a Day Can Unlock Your Full Potential

Taking just 30 minutes a day to learn something new improved my life

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30 minutes of daily learning
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Between the demands of work, life, and the never-ending cycle of bills, we often put our development, learning, and self-improvement at the bottom of our daily to-do lists. (more…)

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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