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7 Common Things People Regret at the End of Their Lives

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We all have seen people grow old and we know it very well that one day, our time will come too. No one wants to live their lives with regrets at the end. If you do not want to have regrets when you grow old, you should do the best you can when you are young and capable.

Studies have shown that there are a couple of things dying people regret that they did not do when they have the opportunity and when they have the time.

Here are 7 things you can do in life so that you will never regret at the end:

1. Pursue your dreams and accomplish more goals

One of the main reasons people regret when they get old is that they did not go for what they want in life. Everyone has a dream, but not everyone will do something about their dreams. Do you have a dream?

If you do, commit yourself, follow your dreams and pursue them. Set more goals and go all in or all out. You do not have to hold yourself to play safe. So never get regret that you did not go for your dreams or what you want in life. If you want to travel the world, plan and do it. If you want to start a business, create a plan and do it.

 

2. Spend more time with people you care about

Another most common regret when people grow old is that they feel they never spend enough time with people they care about. We are human beings and humans tend to be emotional. We care for other people and we just cannot live alone by ourselves.

If you love someone, tell them. You do not have to wait until it’s too late. Do you have friends that you appreciate? Then say thank you to them and tell them how much you care. And when you care more about those around you, they will return the favor and care more about you.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.” –John F. Kennedy

3. Express yourself more

Transparency is very important in your relationship, whether it is with your soulmate or with your family members. You should tell them upfront how you feel.

Holding up anger or resentment is not going to do you any good. Anger and resentment can deteriorate your health. Of course, I’m not asking you to pick a fight with people by telling how much you hate them.

However, you should confront your feelings and express them in a more constructive and a positive way. A couple cannot grow their relationship if they hide their feelings from each other. Please understand that this does not only happen to couples, it can happen in every relationship you experience, be it with your colleagues or with your boss.

 

4. Learn and explore more

This is very obvious; to live a fulfilling life without regrets, you must learn and explore more while you can. Do you ever have the urge to learn something new such as a foreign language or how to play guitar? If you have, you should go ahead and explore more. Learn the new skills and try to discover yourself with something new.

It is the moment you experienced in life that counts, not physical items. So do more of things that you love. Discover your passions and follow them. Never wait until you are old only to think that you should have done this or you should have done that. It will be too late by then.

 

5. Take care of your finances

This is one area where most people fail to excel in life. Most people never learn how to take care of their finances; as a result, they live in poverty after they retired. Do not let this happen to you. If you do not want to be broke when you are old, learn to manage your finances right now.

Save consistent each month or save a portion of the income that you receive. Stop spending on items that you don’t really need. No one wants to live in mediocrity and broke when they get old, right? Thus, learn to handle your money now.

 

6. Choose to be happy

Do you know that happiness is a choice? You can choose to be happy or you can choose to feel sad right at this moment. It is simple, you just need to direct your thoughts and emotions. Think about something happy and you will feel happy. On the other hand, when you think about something sad, you will feel depressed almost instantly.

Life is short, you should experience more joy and thrill every day. Every minute you spend thinking about how bad things can be or how depressing your life is, you are wasting the moments you can be happy.

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” – Dalai Lama

7. Live to the fullest and never waste time

Bruce Lee once said, “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made of”. Stop living in regrets and start making every minute count. When you play, enjoy it to the fullest. When you work, work your best and create a masterpiece out of your work. And when you live, live to the fullest so that you will never regret at the end.

Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift that is why we call it the “present”. So enjoy every moment you can have right now, live today as your last day and make yourself alive again.

Decide today that you are going to live your life with passion. Pursue your dreams, spend more time with people you love, express yourself and explore more, manage your finances, be happy and enjoy every moment you have right now.

What would you add to this list so that you don’t have regrets at the end? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Want to discover the secrets to unleashing your potential and live a great and successful life? Follow Shawn Lim on his blog, StunningMotivation.com. You can download his guidebook, Active Goal Setting and make your dreams a reality. You can also follow him on Facebook.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Dawn Davis

    Jan 20, 2017 at 10:01 am

    Thank you for this reminder! It truly is a choice to be ? and I am making that choice everyday! I embrace positivity and repel negativity more and more! So, I don’t even waste time reading things that don’t inspire or inform me?

  2. Sarah Crouch

    Dec 23, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    My mum passed away very recently and I clicked on this link on twitter to see whether there was anything that I thought she regretted. This is a risky game. If I found something I thought that she regressed, how would that have helped me?

    Luckily, my mum possessed a strength and a positivity that I only see in limited people. Luckily I knew that. She overcame some of the most challenging events and a long term illness and still loved and lived more whole heartedly than most. What I honestly believe is that she made the choice to do so, and when you make that choice, nothing can stop you. Good luck everyone. I have been blessed to be close to someone so divine, but I want you all to know that living life to the full and passing over with no regrets is possible to absolutely everyone. I’m learning with you all x

  3. Dustin Vans

    Jul 27, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    You should never dwell on negativity for along period of time,it will only take that time it took to get over away from being happy and enjoying life or achievements.
    (Life Is Good )

  4. Jeannine Carroll

    Jul 26, 2016 at 11:23 am

    Shawn, thank you for this list to get us thinking. My faith is important to me but I find myself constantly working to promote my book or to get more done. Now, I’ve decided to ask myself this question, “Will what I’m doing be important in heaven?” This helps me to focus on what’s really important to me.

  5. Chris

    Jul 26, 2016 at 5:10 am

    Nice article Shawn.

    I have to say “Choose To Be Happy” is the point that I resonate with most. I have been in situations before where I have been down and I was laying the blame on other people. I now realise that it was my choice to be happy. You make your own life, we should choose to fill it with positive thoughts, the rest will follow.

    • Shawn Lim

      Jul 26, 2016 at 7:48 am

      Yea, fill your life with happiness and positive thoughts.
      The clock will tick anyway, so if we’re going to live, we might just live happily. And be bold. 🙂

  6. Shawn Lim

    Jul 23, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    Hi Kim, yes you are right, to go forward and further, we have to forget and forgive. 🙂

  7. Kim Hellyar

    Jul 23, 2016 at 12:27 pm

    Say your sorry to people you know you have wronged or hurt. This helps them move on without wondering why and was it them.

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Life

8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success

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Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.

When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.

This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure

When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.

Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.

2. Be honest with yourself

The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.

It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.

However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback

When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.

It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.

4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself

Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.

Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.

5. Find inspiration and support in abundance

Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.

Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks.  Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation

Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:

  • What is the lesson for me?
  • How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
  • What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?

You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.

7. Stop mulling over and move on

Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.

Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

8. Purge out all the negativity

Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.

Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.

The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

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Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

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When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

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Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

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A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

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