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5 Things You Can Do To Ensure A Successful Year



5 Things You Can Do To Ensure A Successful Year

The start of a new year is always fun and exciting. It signifies a refresh start, a new beginning. And let’s be real, a do over on the things we wanted to get done the year before.

Whether you set New Year’s resolutions, set goals, or just look at it like any other day, the outcome of your year depends on how you start it. And more importantly, it depends on how you follow through.

Listed below are 5 things you can do to ensure you have a successful year:

1. Let go of what did or didn’t happen the year before

As we start the beginning of a new year we can either bask in the wild success of the year before or wallow too long about what didn’t happen. If the year before was great, awesome! Now, ride the wave and set new goals so you can keep growing.

If there were things that you wish you completed like the book, finally changing careers, or launching your business, forgive yourself and let it go. Recalibrate and get reenergized with new goals and set new milestones. The whole key to your success is moving forward instead of continuously looking backward.

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” – Melody Beattie 

2. Purge your space

Many people do the annual end of year trip to Good Will or the Salvation Army either to get rid of unwanted items or to make the end of year cut off for tax deductions. That’s great and it’s a start. But when is the last time you  purged your house. One of the best gifts I could have ever given to myself is getting rid of everything unnecessary in my home.

Your home is your safe haven. The place where you go to relax, unwind, and recharge. Not the place where you go to be reminded of your already stressful life and never ending to do list because everywhere you turn around there is clutter.

No, you don’t need those papers from 8 years ago. No, you’re not going to wear that set of clothes from two sizes ago. And I’m sorry, but everything is not a keep sake. I literally went room by room over a matter of a few months and I must say that it truly feels like I lost weight. Unnecessary weight.


3. Create your zone

Create the space in your house that is just for you! Designed, organized, and decorated in a way that inspires, relaxes, energizes, or does whatever you need it too. If you feel you need to be productive create your productivity zone.

If you need to relax, create your relaxation zone.  If you are a stay at home mom and need a break, create your mommy zone. Or, if you are an entrepreneur like myself, create your profit zone, as my good friend and interior designer Nikki Klugh calls it. But whatever it is you need to refuel you, ensure that you create a personal space that you utilize and protect.

There could not have been a more refreshing feeling than when I decluttered, organized, and decorated my home office, my own personal profit zone. Instead of it being a room that I avoid, it’s now one my favorite inspirational places to work.



4. Get real with your finances

Yes! Have a sit down meeting with yourself and whomever else needs to be involved about what your true financial state is and what it would take to achieve your financial goals. Finances are one of the easiest things to avoid. Sure, everything is taken care of on a monthly basis but do you know what’s going out, what’s coming in, and what you need for the future?

For your household, what would it really take to go on all the dream vacations you desire, purchase your next dream home, or be prepared for retirement? For your business, what would it take for you to break into 6 or 7 figures. All of it requires having a serious reality check about where you are as well as what you have to do to achieve true financial success.


5. Come up with a plan to attack your audacious goals

Whether or not you set New Year’s Resolutions, I am sure that you have some goals for the year ahead. Some of which you may have attempted before like the infamous 20 pounds that everyone would like to get off. Or some can be overwhelming like launching a business or planning a big move.

Most people tend to either get stifled or stop before they even start because of the magnitude of what they want to achieve. The best thing you can do to keep moving forward with momentum is to ask yourself, what is the next practical step that I can take? Who do I need to call? Email? Follow-up with? Etc.  Anytime you begin to feel overwhelmed or stagnated by the scope of it all, take a step back and see what is it that you can do next?

Success doesn’t happen by accident! It is intentional, sought after, and planned for. The year you desire to have and who you want to become doesn’t happen by setting goals, it happens by taking action. Success is finding the courage to show up for yourself day after day, moment by moment until each goal is complete.

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey

Which one of these will be the one you focus on the most this year and why? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Executive Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Keynote Speaker, Melissa J. Nixon is known as the Courageous Life Mentor.  As Founder of the Courageous Life Academy, a global coaching and consulting firm, she specializes in helping visionary leaders, emerging c-suite executives, CEOs and women influencers to maximize their leadership, business and life potential.   Referred to as a “Powerhouse of Positivity” – Melissa applies a unique “fire-starting” approach to igniting change with her private and corporate clients that helps them to live and lead courageously. Check out her website here:



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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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