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5 Steps to Go From Breakdown to Breakthrough

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We’ve all been there at this moment where the overwhelm is so intense that we can not even think or act. I’m talking about the moment where you just can’t. You are ‘done.’ You feel stuck, sad, and frustrated. You would scream, but if you only had the strength!

I know, I’ve been there too. I remember clearly, me laying down on the floor staring at the green walls of this apartment I used to hate, crying in silence, feeling hopeless while wishing I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But “where is the tunnel again?”. 

It is not a good place to be at all. But at the same time, it is perfect as it is. Have you noticed what happens after a major breakdown? When we decide to break out of it, there is a breakthrough. And I love breakthroughs. They help us move on in life, usually more mindfully and more meaningfully. Breakthroughs help us see beyond our limitations and encourage us to pass through barriers that sometimes we don’t even realize were there in the first place. Breakthroughs are insightful and liberating. But how do we get there, from a breakdown? The answer is right down below. 

1. Drop everything you are doing

To stop and drop whatever you are doing is probably the most crucial step to take since a breakdown usually comes after a series of non-stop, forced actions. We try so hard and go so deep without taking the necessary rest that eventually, we reach a point where we can not keep going anymore, or it’s just too painful to continue. So, what you must do right now is simply stop and breathe. Allow yourself some time to recenter and accommodate time for the following steps. 

2. Scream, shout, let it out

When was the last time you let it all out? How many emotions have you been bottling up? It is now time to let the feelings come to you, actually feel them, and then let them go. If you haven’t cried in a while, allow the tears to fall. If there is a scream desperate to come out, scream. Remember: you are human, and feeling feels is as normal as breathing air. So, feel whatever you need to feel and then let it go. You deserve this time to process your emotions, and it is essential for your mental health that you do so.

“There is no breakthrough without a breakdown.” – Tony Robbins

3. Center yourself

After all the release from step 2, you will need a tool to help you center yourself and realign your energy. My go-to, in this case, is meditation. It can be as simple as sitting down in silence with your back straight, eyes closed, and breathing in and out slowly. Focus on your breathing and allow any thoughts to go as they come, without attaching to them. This simple meditation will help you become more present and prevent the usual spiral of thoughts that comes with a breakdown. 

4. Re-evaluate the situation

If you got through the previous steps, I’m pretty sure you can think more clearly now, and you must feel a lot better. If you don’t, don’t worry. Know that this process takes time, depending on the person and the situation. So maybe give yourself more time and 

whenever you are ready, start the re-evaluation. 

The re-evaluation process is when you sit down with your thoughts, a pen, paper, and objectively re-evaluate what took you to break down. Here, you will elaborate on what happened, what part you played on it, and what you’ve learned from the situation. You must write everything down, so you can look at what happened “from the outside” and read it whenever you want to.

A breakthrough can happen anywhere between steps one and four, but what is a breakthrough without some action to follow up? That is why it’s essential to create an action plan.

5. Create an action plan for the future

Now that you have been through all the steps, it is time to take advantage of the insights you got and act on them. To do so, I encourage you to read the following questions one by one and give yourself a couple of minutes to think about the answers. 

What is it that you uncovered in this process? What would you like to do differently? What new actions are you putting in place to prevent this from happening again? What is the goal now that you have all this information? What do you need to do today to achieve this goal? What can get in the way of what you want to achieve? How will you stay on track?

By answering these questions, you have all the information you need to design your action plan.

Remember: having a breakdown can be an opportunity to recenter, re-evaluate and repurpose our lives. All we have to do is create the space for that to happen, and that would include a pressing pause in our busy lives and some inner work followed by intentional action. Even though it is simple, I realize how difficult this may sound right now, but I promise it is worth it. And if you are worried about productivity, wait until you get back to business. You will be amazed!

I would also like to say, take your time. This process can be made in one go, or you may need weeks to process everything. The secret here is to not force or rush it and let it happen. 

Give yourself the opportunity, the time, and the space to make it happen.

Erika Sardinha is an empowerment coach for survivors based in the Canary Islands. Her purpose is to help survivors like her reconnect with themselves, heal, and thrive from the inside out. She offers online courses, private and group coaching, and other services for thriving survivors while providing various free resources to her community. Check Erika's Free Community of badass thriving survivors: Happy Survivors Tribe, and access her 10-minute Guided Tapping Meditation for True Relaxation and Joy!

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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