Life
5 Reasons Why It’s Better to Choose Your Passion Over Looking Cool

Most of us wouldn’t mind being happier, and because of this, we do what we can to achieve this. We work harder, earn more money, and buy fancier possessions. We buy into the belief that this rat race will get us to the state we want. What happens if it doesn’t?
One flaw to this idea is the idea of status. I’ve met people who will do whatever it takes to look “cool” to others, even if it means sacrificing their passion, happiness, or potential. I’ve caught myself doing the same thing. It’s a common problem, yet we need to fix it.
Here are 5 reasons why it’s better to choose yourself over being cool:
1. You Sacrifice Long-Term Enjoyment for Short-Term Pleasure
Would you rather have a lifestyle that everyone thinks is cool but you hate or a lifestyle you love but everyone else thinks is just okay? Screw what other people think. You have the power to live the life of your dreams, and if this life isn’t what other people want, it doesn’t matter.
Unfortunately, many people die settling for the first choice. They would rather take a job that looks glamorous from the outside but is hell on the inside. While others admire how much money some of these professions make, they’re dying every day on the inside because they’re working 90 hours a week and don’t even have time to spend their money.
2. You Live Up To What Sets You On Fire
I was listening to a podcast who featured, Charlie Hoehn, a well-known author in the career development industry. He mentioned how he has a friend who is rich but works as a Walmart greeter for fun because he enjoys talking to people.
Most of the world would look down on that job title because it’s low status, yet this guy doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t care, he’s doing what he enjoys doing most — he’s not letting his fear of judgment hold him back from living the life he’s most excited about.
“Follow your own passion, not your parents’, not your teachers…yours.” – Robert Ballard
3. You Only Attract People That Are Good For you
Imagine what would happen if you pretended to be some rock star or high-status personality you are not. Even if you actually had that lifestyle and appearance, you’d attract people who have the wrong values and interests. Your relationships would be shallow, and they wouldn’t last because you wouldn’t relate.
People fall into this trap because they have a scarcity mentality. They don’t think the world is abundant enough to give people what they want. They don’t think they are good enough. Therefore, they try to change themselves and their interests to what they think will attract who they want.
Ultimately, no healthy person wants that in the long run. If you’re into books, hiking, and anime, why would you want to spend your time with someone who likes drugs and partying all the time?
4. You Become Cool By Doing It Your Way
I get it, if you live in a small town, it’s going to be close to impossible to convince anyone that you’re weird yo-yo hobby is cool. But when you grow up and move to bigger and better places, there are a lot more people and chances to meet someone with similar interests.
Rather than hide what you think is embarrassing or what you think your weaknesses are, embrace them. Stop believing you always have to be someone you are not in order to be loved or appreciated.
I recently went to an old-fashioned Swing dance class. The music they played and the dance moves they taught were old school American. It’s something your grandparents might play on the record. Yet there were over fifty young people my age there who loved it.
I thought the whole thing was a bit lame, and they would’ve been laughed out of my old high school but I couldn’t convince anyone there otherwise. That’s because, in their group, everyone else thought it was super cool and that’s all that mattered. I was in the minority.
On the same theme, by setting boundaries and not over compromising, you don’t become a chameleon by pretending that you’re interested in other people’s interests just to get them to like you.
5. You Live A Healthier, More Pleasurable Life
There are billions of people out there. The more you meet, the more you realize how different each person’s interests can be, thus it’s important to embrace what you like doing and who you are.
Yes, you’ll be whacky. Yes, you’ll find people who make fun of you. No, that doesn’t mean you never change anything about you. However, it does mean being okay with what your unique goals and visions are — not someone else’s.
Too many of us waste our lives living up to our parent’s, friend’s, or society’s expectations, only to hate our lives and feel like we’re dying a little every day. Wouldn’t you rather live a life you love even if it wasn’t “cool” by society’s standards? If you’re living your dream life and making six figures a year shining shoes, who cares if others think it’s low status? You’re making more than them and you live for it.
“Love the life you live. Live the life you love.” – Bob Marley
Life is sometimes a balancing act. In this case, you don’t want to be so rigid in your interests that you never try something new or are unable to keep a conversation going. You also don’t want to lie too much by pretending you’re interested in things that bore you.
Similarly, you want to find a healthy balance between something that pays the bills and excites you. Life doesn’t always have to be a compromise. Eventually, you may even find something that is also cool to the people who matter to you.
Let us know in the comments what you think is cool that others may not.
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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