Success Advice

How To Socialize Like A Pro

Published

6 years ago

Jun 14, 2017

It was late on Friday night.
I couldn’t really be bothered socializing
The energy wasn’t there, but I did it anyway.

Last time I went to this social event I hated it. It was full of pretentious ex-Harvard / Stanford snobs that loved to compare whose daddy had a better car. Inside, I was shaking my head the whole time. This time, though, it was different.

This time I met game changers who were doing seriously cool sh”t – cool because they were solving real problems. One thing I find hard to deal with is shallow conversations. There’s nothing better than going all in and going in deep.

Ok, don’t look at me like that.

If you want to socialize like a pro you’ve got to make an effort and think about what you’re doing. Here are a few hints to get you on the right path:

1. Don’t be scared to ask for a phone number

Never leave a place where you have connected with some interesting people you like, without doing this step: ask for a phone number. You’ve put all that work in and then to walk away and not continue the conversation would be a major loss.

Avoid trading social media details if you can because there is a good chance they may not respond when you reach out. SMS is near impossible to ignore and we all read them (let’s face it).

It’s like spending considerable time showing someone your business and then not asking if they would like to be a customer.

“Closing the deal is what all successful people do and do well. Have confidence in yourself and do the same”

2. Put your phone on flight mode

The quickest way to kill a socializing opportunity is with that damn phone you always have on you. Put it on flight mode so you can focus on the people you’re connecting with. The world is not going to end because you didn’t see a “like” or reply to a comment.

3. Introduce mutual connections

Meeting new people in a social context is one of the key skills in socializing like a pro. The fastest way to build rapport is to leverage the mutual connections you have in common with someone you have just met.

You can discover these mutual questions by having a friend introduce you to someone new, using social media, or by simply asking questions that reveal mutual connections.

There’s a reason that social platforms make the most of mutual connections and you should do the same when socializing.

4. Ask quality questions

The questions you ask will have a lot to do with your socializing success.

– Ask the questions everyone’s thinking, but too scared to ask
– Ask follow up questions to interesting answers
– Ask lots of questions

Be like a detective and go all in on your test subjects (the people you’re talking with). Find out what makes them tick and what get’s them out of bed in the morning. Here are some great questions to try:

– What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
– Where was the coolest place you traveled to and why?
– Why did you choose that way of making a living?
– What are you most passionate about above everything else?
– Who’s one person that has taught you more than anyone excluding family?

5. Look people in the eye

What I realized I do a lot of is look people in the eye. Now I’ll admit that girls tell me I have very nice eyes, so my reason for doing this is to exploit this “so-called asset.” I don’t believe what these girls say about my eyes by the way so calm your horsey.

Looking people in the eye creates a connection and shows you’re truly interested in them. It’s a way to be completely, 100% vulnerable.

“When you look into someone’s eyes, you’re showing all of yourself. That’s what socializing is all about”

Don’t hold back and be prepared to go the extra mile. By looking at someone in the eyes, you can see their heart, passion and human nature. You can feel them in a totally different way.

6. Inspire

The way you talk to people in social situations matters. I find that by talking in a way that inspires, you bring people in. Make the people you’re chatting to believe that they can do what you have achieved or that there is another perspective about a topic that they may not have thought of.

Try to leave them with a lasting impression of you. Hear about what their goals are and then see if you can find a tool or strategy that they haven’t thought of to try. Then challenge them and inspire them to give it a go.

7. Talk about what you’re passionate about

There’s a lot of nonsense people talk about when socializing. Try to focus social situations around your passion and the passion of those you’re talking to. From this place, there’s always more to talk about. Your passion is what makes you light up and people remember that feeling.

Share some stories of things you’ve done which are related to your passion. The other people around you may have different passions, but that doesn’t mean you can’t relate to them through your own passion.

I’ve found, that when you find people who have similar passions, the conversation becomes addictive. It’s those social moments that make all the energy and effort worth it.

When you find a conversation like this that has all of those ingredients, stick around for a while. Don’t feel like you have to talk with everyone in the room.

8. Be humble

We’ve all achieved a hell of a lot in our own little worlds. We all think we’ve got some awesome story that will blow people away and impress them. Reframe from thinking like that. If you’re intent is to get people to like you, they’ll run the other way.

The key is to be you and be gracious. Talk about what you’re good at, but don’t go over the top. The same goes in the other direction. Make sure you’re not afraid to talk about things people might like about you. Just don’t do it like a wanker. There’s a subtle difference between the two.

What else do these tips apply to?

These are the same tips for dating. That’s not the intent of this post, but I thought I should point it out. You can also use these same tips in a job interview to get yourself ahead of the game.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Tim Denning

Aussie Blogger with 500M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.com

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How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

Published

3 weeks ago

Nov 16, 2023

Jamelle Sanders

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In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness.

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be.

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.