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4 Ways You Can Build Self-Confidence Right Now

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Self-confidence: some people have oodles of it, others…not so much. I was one of the latter types. Whenever I attempted something, my lack of self-confidence would creep into my mind with thoughts such as: “You aren’t good at this.” “Why are you even thinking that you are going to succeed?” “You are useless.” Unfortunately, I listened to the negativity that was swirling through my brain whenever I tried to do anything to improve myself.

Failure would come and then the self-accusation and the negative confirmations flooded into my thinking. “See, you failed! What made you think otherwise? You have always failed.”

Self-confidence stems out of self-esteem, an my self-esteem was at low tide. What I needed was unstoppable self-esteem and self-confidence. It was something I knew wouldn’t happen over night.

Developing self-confidence takes determination, focus, and work. You need to hit the “kill switch” of negative thinking and inject positivity into your life. But, how do you up the confidence level? You need to stop looking at your failures and refocus. You need to understand that there are some things that you have done right!

Here are 4 ways you can build your confidence to new levels:

1. Consider your past successes

Let’s be honest now. Not everything you have done has failed has it? There are things that you have done well and succeeded in. Remind yourself of those past successes. Let them dictate to you that you aren’t a failure after all. Don’t listen to the negativity anymore. Replace it with a new soundtrack of positivity that celebrate your previous successes.

When you look back at the things you have achieved in the past, what happens? Confidence starts to stir. Grab hold of that confidence and move forward with it.

Tell yourself “I’ve managed to do things well in the past and I can be successful in the future.” Are things going to go smoothly? No! Whenever you try something, there is bound to be a mistake or failure crop up along the way. Nonetheless, allow these to teach and guide you as you journey along the path of success.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

2. Upskill

We never stop learning (unless we choose to). What is it that you want to improve about yourself? What do you want to change about your life? There may be a new career you want to take on, or maybe there’s a skill set that you currently have that you want to enhance.

As you learn and develop new skills, your confidence is boosted. Learning is the ultimate self-esteem “pick me up” as it enhances you as a person. It develops you and you will find that your self-confidence increases.

3. Try something that you have never done before

There are always opportunities to try new experiences. The other month my wife and I went to Osaka, and experiencing the Abeno Harukas building . Here, you can experience “Edge the Harukas”,  which means you can go to the top of the building, go outside and lean backward 300 metres above the ground. I am not a fan of heights, but for some reason there was a resolve in me to do this!

Then I came to understand that doing something like that added to my self-confidence. I am not saying that you have to go and do something daring (unless you want to), but try something you have never done before. When you do, guess what happens? You have just chalked up another success. Add it to the pile and keep going!

4. Surround yourself with positive people

To change your thinking and your beliefs means you need to change what and who you are listening to. You have well-meaning people who tell you not to get your hopes up. They say things like “Not everyone is successful,” or “Successful people only got there by luck.” You are told to accept your lot in life.

The people who say these things are sincere in their empathy toward you. They don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed. However, these people are misguided in their counsel. It’s time to change your circle of influence. Find people who will tell you that you can succeed. People who will encourage you rather than pat you sympathetically on the bag and tell you “Success is for others and not you.”

“Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” – Roy Bennett

Go to meetup groups where you can be with like-minded individuals who can provide you with advice, guidance and friendship. Find mentors who have done what you long to do and reach out to them. You will find that they are willing to help you succeed. Start building networks with people who are going to encourage you and provide you with the positivity that you need.

When you are around positive people, how do you feel? When someone is there guiding you and telling you that you can succeed, where is your confidence level? When your mentor high-fives you and says “See, I knew you could do it!” you will find that your confidence has skyrocketed.

When I found people that encouraged me instead of filling me with negativity and self-doubt was when I found my confidence growing, expanding, and strengthening.

Which one of these 4 ways to build self-confidence resonates most with you and why?

Brian Simms is the founder of "Dream Successes" and is passionate about assisting others become the best they can be. He has a qualification in psychology and has a mission to help half a million people reach their dreams by changing their thinking. You can follow "Dream Successes" on Instagram (@dreamsuccesses) and at dreamsuccesses.wordpress.com"

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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