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4 Ways You Benefit From Going Through a Dry Spell

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Dry Spell

Whether you’re creatively blocked or your usual motivation or inspiration has left you, one day you will wake up and find yourself in a dry spell.  You’ll realize you’re wandering around in a metaphorical desert and have no idea how you became a worn out crispy critter trying to find shade under the nearest rock.

So once you’re in this desert, what signposts should you look for to point you back toward civilization?  How do you escape the anxiety that comes with being lost, forsaken, and feeling pressured by the pace of modern society to keep up and get back in the game?  You do it by embracing your situation and appreciating the benefits that every dry spell has to offer.

Here are 4 ways you benefit from going through a dry spell:

1. You build resilience

Tough times are an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve accomplished.  You didn’t make it to where you are now by accident; you’ve worked hard, gained wisdom, and have probably helped people along the way.  Now is the time to reflect on those accomplishments and congratulate yourself for how far you’ve come.

Resilience also allows you to gain perspective about your journey.  How has your outlook changed over time?  Where have you shifted your viewpoint as you continued to learn and grow?  Think about how this perspective shift has allowed you to live a different, and hopefully happier, life and where you’ve continued to succeed despite setbacks.

Lastly, time for reflection wouldn’t be complete if you didn’t also take stock of where you’ve stumbled.  Instead of beating yourself up for falling short, look at your stumbles as teachers.  How did you learn to regroup and regain your focus?  How can you continue to use that power to help you get through what you’re experiencing now?

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.” – Elizabeth Edwards

2. You develop perseverance

One of the most important things to remember in a dry spell is that it may be trying to send you a message.  To go along with all the reflecting you’re doing, you may also need to learn how to better balance your energy and consider different ways of recharging your battery.  In order to come back strong, look at the period of drought you’re experiencing as a time to step back and gain some strength instead of pushing through.

To keep your forward momentum going it’s also important to keep doing the things you do well.  Doing these things will give you a sense of accomplishment, help keep your self -esteem up, and allow you to remain engaged, even as you’re struggling.  

Don’t be afraid to seek out support from friends and ask others for their thoughts on how you can approach your current challenges.  Take comfort in the fact that a dry spell is just that, a spell, not a forever state.  It too shall pass and you will feel better at some point.

3. You learn to adapt

Because dry spells don’t usually appear out of nowhere, by the time you’re ready to admit you’re in one, you’ve probably been wandering the desert for a few weeks or more.  Finding yourself in this new and inhospitable environment will force you to look at the big picture to figure out what may have caused you to go off track.  

Where have you lost sight of how you are rewarded in life?  Where are you out of touch with your bigger why?  How can you reconnect with what you need mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially in order to make peace with where you are and also with where you want to be?

Sometimes dry spells happen because you know you need to shift but you’re resisting the change.  Other times, you find yourself wandering and alone because something isn’t quite “right” but you can’t put your finger on it.  In either case, the message is always that you must change.  With change comes risk, but sometimes change is inevitable.  Your willingness to change is optional.

“The more you adapt, the more interesting you are.” – Martha Stewart

4. You learn hidden lessons

The ultimate benefit of being in the uncomfortable and often exhausting state of desert dwelling is the opportunity to learn hidden lessons.  The first place to start is by looking for illusions you have about yourself and your situation.  A dry spell signals a break; a break in your normal ways of thinking and being.  

Where are you adding complexity when you should in fact be simplifying?  Where are you making up rules for yourself when you should be letting go?  Where are you too unstructured when you should be thinking more linearly?  What message is your dry spell ultimately trying to communicate to you and how can you become a better version of yourself by learning the lesson and honoring this message?

By shifting your mindset to one of welcoming vs. one of shunning a dry spell you can help yourself not only survive but actually thrive and come out with increased awareness and knowledge about your situation.  

Instead of focusing on the frustration and discouragement of the short term, shift your focus instead to how this time can help you in the long term.  Being in a dry spell isn’t permanent, it’s an opportunity to rejuvenate yourself and gain a little wisdom along the way.

What did you learn from going through a dry spell and how did it benefit you in the long run? Leave your thoughts below!

Brooke Davis is a Certified Wellness Inventory coach and writer. She is the founder of Roots of Abundance, an online personal development company, where she helps mid-career women manage chronic stress, overwhelm, and burnout. Learn more about Brooke at www.rootsofabundance.com or on Instagram at @rootsofabundanceco.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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