Today, I live my life to the fullest. I do what I love to do, I am not afraid to take big steps, and I never let a little bit of doubt and fear stop me from getting to where I’m going.
I take risks and I literally create and shape-shift my own destiny.
This wasn’t always the case. There was the time when my regret had almost turned into a chronic depression and suffering. Living a life full of regret because of the things you did, or were afraid to do in the past, is really not a wise way to live.
Now, I am just a regular person like you. I am not a self-improvement guru with 10 New York Times best-selling books who claims to give you the salvation to all your inner demons.
I will just share the insights gained through my limited experience which might prove beneficial and useful to many people reading this article, including you.
But before we begin, please tell me…Are you waking up each morning with the feeling that your life is useless? Do you think that there’s no more purpose for you on this planet? If you do, this short and yet powerful post, might be the wake-up-call you’ve been longing for!
Enough fluff, let’s dive in!
Have You Asked Yourself What “To Regret” Actually Means?
Of course, you will find a zillion different answers to this question if you only look for them. I’ll tell you what it means to me so that you can try and reflect in your own life.
There’s a very famous quote from Les Brown that I happen to love and I’d like to share it with you…It goes like this:
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth! It is the richest place because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, and all because someone was too afraid, too scared to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”
“Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart.” – Basil Rathbone
I think that this incredible and forever true quote, gives the perfect answer and enlightenment to everyone trying to live a regret-free life. To regret deeply means to have the feelings of deep remorse and guilt because you’ve wasted your life. It is a feeling of nostalgia mixed with sadness and unhappiness because you never went after your dreams only because you let fear, doubt and worry stop you.
It can also be connected to the things that you did in the past that you weren’t supposed to do. It doesn’t end there. Mistreating someone and breaking their heart, cheating and being disloyal, missing that once in a lifetime opportunity for your career, all of these and many more contribute even more fuel to the fire.
Well I don’t want you to ever experience this demon. I was suffering with the constant feeling of regret for quite a while but eventually I learned how to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and do the things I always wanted to do.
That’s exactly why I’m sharing my message with you.
1. Can you overcome emotional pain from your past?
Understand this – what happened, happened. The past cannot be changed, so STOP wasting your life thinking about it!
Why? Why? It is so, so simple, and yet, WHY do so many people have a difficult time coping with this truth? We hold onto that past like a blind man holds onto his stick. We’re letting something that doesn’t exist in the real world, something that has ended and now lives only in our imagination, to destroy our lives.
It is all about controlling what we can control, and gaining wisdom to accept the things that we cannot change.
You can control your thoughts, your emotions, your behavior, your actions and your attitude, but you can’t control someone else’s thoughts and actions. You can control what you do today, and the next day, and the next month, and the next year, but you cannot control what happened in the past.
So start focusing! Don’t waste your energy and life in those “should have and should not haves” or “if only(s)”!
If only I married Tom and not Jack. I should have taken that promotion. I shouldn’t have moved to London. She shouldn’t have left me. I should have gone on a diet. If only I proposed to her that summer.
“If only I am wise enough, to stop this madness, right here, and right now, and do something useful with my life!” – That’s the only “if only” you should be concerned with!
Accept your past exactly as it is and start learning from your mistakes. Don’t use this as an excuse for your future wretchedness!
If it is so hard for you to accept and let go of the past, here’s a very good technique that works time and time again.
Close your eyes and travel back in time to the event that holds you back. See the picture that bothers you very clearly! Even if it is very painful and you can’t stand it, just do it. Then, start imagining how this event or situation is a picture drawn onto a big canvas. Everything around the picture is black. See it very clearly.
Next, start seeing the picture getting smaller and smaller as it was pushing away from you. See it going in the distance and slowly fading in the blackness.
When it is completely gone, say this affirmation to yourself – “I let go of my past completely! It no longer bothers me, and from this moment on, I am in complete control over my thoughts and feelings. I faithfully learn from my past mistakes, and I’ll never let this happen in the future. Thank You!”
That’s a very powerful NLP technique actually.
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” – Hermann Hesse
2. Checking your references
I suggest that from now on, you do at least that – check your references. Most of the time, we’re not even aware of where our beliefs came from. We tend to think and behave in a certain way, and all of this is done by habit without any conscious thought.
Let me tell you a very short story that I read somewhere on the net…
Once upon a time, there was a very old monk living in the monastery and working faithfully every day. He was dedicated to serving God and his entire life he was trying to live in enlightenment and compassion. His job was to translate ancient texts which were just copies of the original ancient wisdom. They were doing that with centuries and passed the tradition from one generation of monks to the next one.
This monk was doing this his entire life for more than 70 years. One day, he suddenly got a strong desire to read some of the original documents. Although he was sure the copies of the copies were identical to the original text, some curiosity and intuition made him dig deep in the ancient papers.
A week later, the other monks found him half-dead, lying and weeping on the floor. He was so overwhelmed he couldn’t say to the monks what actually happened. After few hours of calming him down and bringing him back to life, he silently opened his mouth and whispered: “The ancient text says ‘celebrate’, and not ‘celibate!’…”
Please check your references. Ask yourself: Where do I have these beliefs from? Why do I listen to these people? Why do I think that my past mistakes are at the same time limitations to my potential for the future? Does my constant fearing and worrying really have a sound reason? Are the people that I’m following and listening to going in the direction I want to go in my life?
3. Just do it!
The title says it all. If you are having doubts and worries about making that change, this might be the best advice you can possibly have. It’s actually a powerful technique which Anthony Robbins shares on his 101 coaching sessions with clients.
Here’s what to do.
That’s it! If you want to change something and you are having second thoughts, just STOP thinking about it and then do it!
Let me give you an example.
I want you to stretch your right arm in front of you, right now, as you’re reading this article. Come on, just do it. Stretch it in front of you somewhere at shoulders level. Now hold it there for 10 seconds and simply let it go. Have you done it? Good!
Now let’s try something different… I want you to TRY to raise your arm and stretch it in front of you. Don’t actually DO it, just try it. Think about it and try to do it. You see, “trying” is only an excuse! You can’t “try” something… You will either stretch the arm in front of you, or you won’t! You will either “just do it”, or you won’t…it’s as simple as that!
The more thought you give to it, the slimmer the chances of doing something. It’s the same with the thoughts of regretting about your past. They stop you from doing many things in your life.
Step out of your comfort zone and do the things you’ve always wanted to do! We all get one bite of the apple. If you are tired of going in the same restaurant or café again and again, just change it. If you’ve always wanted to be a vegetarian and you let doubts stop you, just do it! Don’t try to lose weight and regret about your past by blaming your parents for it, just do it! Become slim!
Don’t be afraid to create that business just because you’re regretting your past mistakes and think that you’re too old for a big change like that. Just do it for God’s sake!
Remember, Les Brown was right! The Graveyard, really is the richest place in the world, so be careful not to contribute to its wealth!
4. A handful of activities you can do to seize your days
When was the last time you sang? Are you laughing and smiling often? Is your mood positive? Are you a cheerful person? The next time you take a shower – start singing! Sing from your heart! Do it in your car, when you go and when you come back from work.
Singing is one of the best ways to release your stale, negative energy balloons that are just waiting for a needle to pop them. It can be a healing and rejuvenating experience, so do this more often.
Smile. Laugh. It is scientifically proven that just by doing this you prolong your life and improve many aspects of your health. It will help you in letting go of the things that have been bothering you for a long time. Develop a winner and can-do attitude. Believe that you can do it!
Also, do something that scares you each and every day. Seriously! It’s the best way to get out of your comfort zone and to make permanent changes in your personality traits. Engage in meditation. Gain control over your mind and stop regretting your past actions. There really isn’t a single benefit from doing it, so why continue with the madness?
Stop giving yourself a hard time – live your life to the fullest – it’s the only one you’ve got! And don’t forget, you need to celebrate – not celibate!
These 7 Daily Resolutions Can Change Your Life
We all strive to be better every day. Most of us want a new day to bring something new, and we plan for it as well. Of course, the execution is debatable as procrastination is real and it becomes an overwhelming feeling at times. Also, not to forget the customary practice of making resolutions on new year’s eve! All of us are fascinated by the thought of preparing long lists of resolves to mark the beginning of a new year. Not sure how many people are able to translate these resolutions into functional realities. (more…)
4 Reasons Why Content Is Pivotal For Mental Health Healing
One of the most important things for an entrepreneur’s mental health is expressing their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is where content creation and writing becomes pivotal. Whether you read something that resonates with you or you write a compelling blog post, the act of expressing yourself through content can help to put a smile on your face and make you feel better about things.
Most entrepreneurs don’t spend as much time taking care of their mental health as they should. Over the course of your career, you will experience a lot of ups and downs; these emotions have the potential to take a toll on your mind and body if you don’t learn to manage them properly.
Here are four reasons why expression through content is pivotal for healing, slowing yourself down, and giving yourself grace when the going gets tough.
1. Content can be a form of self-expression
When you are an entrepreneur, you frequently face feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear, apathy, and exhaustion, just to name a few. Some days it feels like no one is on your business’s side and everyone else has it all figured out. On those days some of us try to look at our website’s analytics to cheer up.
But an even more freeing task is creating content. You create content to improve your business and reach more people’s lives. But, there is something special that happens when you write with the intention of expressing your thoughts and feelings — you open a door to yourself.
Content is inherently personal, which means content creators open themselves up when they share their thoughts on a platform. Everything from the title of the post, the keywords they choose to include, and even the content itself helps you to understand who the author of that post truly is. And as an entrepreneur, this can be an important experience because it allows others to empathize with you.
As you think through what to write about and how to express yourself, the process of self reflection is a valuable step you need to go through. You’re able to reflect on the blessings you have, assess what you learned from the negative experiences, and create a plan on how to maintain the positive experiences you’ve had.
There are a few ways that self reflection can help you with mental health healing. The act of reflecting on your experiences helps to create clarity in feelings, thoughts and emotions which will eventually lead into acceptance for what has happened or is happening currently without feeling overwhelmed by it all. This process also leads people towards finding new things they enjoy doing. Self reflection is therapeutic and can be implemented anytime you feel the need to overcome overwhelm.
“Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you’re grateful for and what you’re committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day.” – Hal Elrod
3. A sense of belonging and camaraderie
It is important to have a support network of people who will listen and understand what you are going through. When you post a blog or upload a video on YouTube, there are others who feel the same way and experience a sense of connection with you.
When you put time, attention and thoughtfulness into your writing, it is amazing when someone reads what you’ve written and comments on it thanking you or expressing how they resonate with what you’re going through. It’s hard to put into words how powerful it feels when someone who has gone through the same experience and reads your words then reaches out. There is power in expression but miracles happen when people bond over a similar experience.
4. Library of content to share with more people
It can be very difficult to know what content to share with people as the symptoms of mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, etc.) vary from person to person. But as you accumulate more and more content, this will increase the number of articles or videos available for readers to choose from depending on their specific purpose. It also builds your personal library of resources you’re able to share to different people you encounter or engage directly with.
As chaotic and distracting social media can be, it can also be a beacon of hope with the right content. Many people share viral posts, or content that interest them. Since your content is valuable and personal, the more you share it, the more likely it is to be shared with the right audience.
You never know who is watching (reading)
Your content is speaking to someone and even though they may not be actively engaged, their experiences with your work are impacting them. Think about the last time you watched TV: did everyone in the room have something entertaining to say?
You never know who’s watching because there’s always somebody reading your posts or viewing your videos-even if they just skim through it briefly. This is why creating content worth consuming is critical, not only to get you out of your funk, but also to serve your audience. Be authentic and stay true to yourself; make every post count as an opportunity for connection with your best self and for potential readers to bond with you.
5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life
Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end.
Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life.
1. Change Your Self-Concept
Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities.
2. Sign Up For An Online Course
If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need.
3. Learn From a Mentor
No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process.
4. Start A Side Hustle
The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills.
5. Nourish Your Body
As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.
Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:
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