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4 Things You Can Do To Live Your Life Without Any Regrets

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4 Things You Can Do To Live Your Life Without Any Regrets

Today, I live my life to the fullest. I do what I love to do, I am not afraid to take big steps, and I never let a little bit of doubt and fear stop me from getting to where I’m going.

I take risks and I literally create and shape-shift my own destiny.

This wasn’t always the case. There was the time when my regret had almost turned into a chronic depression and suffering. Living a life full of regret because of the things you did, or were afraid to do in the past, is really not a wise way to live.

Now, I am just a regular person like you. I am not a self-improvement guru with 10 New York Times best-selling books who claims to give you the salvation to all your inner demons.

I will just share the insights gained through my limited experience which might prove beneficial and useful to many people reading this article, including you.

But before we begin, please tell me…Are you waking up each morning with the feeling that your life is useless? Do you think that there’s no more purpose for you on this planet? If you do, this short and yet powerful post, might be the wake-up-call you’ve been longing for!

Enough fluff, let’s dive in!

 

Have You Asked Yourself What “To Regret” Actually Means?

Of course, you will find a zillion different answers to this question if you only look for them. I’ll tell you what it means to me so that you can try and reflect in your own life.

There’s a very famous quote from Les Brown that I happen to love and I’d like to share it with you…It goes like this:

The graveyard is the richest place on earth! It is the richest place because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, and all because someone was too afraid, too scared to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.

“Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart.” – Basil Rathbone

I think that this incredible and forever true quote, gives the perfect answer and enlightenment to everyone trying to live a regret-free life. To regret deeply means to have the feelings of deep remorse and guilt because you’ve wasted your life. It is a feeling of nostalgia mixed with sadness and unhappiness because you never went after your dreams only because you let fear, doubt and worry stop you.

It can also be connected to the things that you did in the past that you weren’t supposed to do. It doesn’t end there. Mistreating someone and breaking their heart, cheating and being disloyal, missing that once in a lifetime opportunity for your career, all of these and many more contribute even more fuel to the fire.

Well I don’t want you to ever experience this demon. I was suffering with the constant feeling of regret for quite a while but eventually I learned how to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and do the things I always wanted to do.

That’s exactly why I’m sharing my message with you.

 

1. Can you overcome emotional pain from your past?

Understand this – what happened, happened. The past cannot be changed, so STOP wasting your life thinking about it!

Why? Why? It is so, so simple, and yet, WHY do so many people have a difficult time coping with this truth? We hold onto that past like a blind man holds onto his stick. We’re letting something that doesn’t exist in the real world, something that has ended and now lives only in our imagination, to destroy our lives.

It is all about controlling what we can control, and gaining wisdom to accept the things that we cannot change.

You can control your thoughts, your emotions, your behavior, your actions and your attitude, but you can’t control someone else’s thoughts and actions. You can control what you do today, and the next day, and the next month, and the next year, but you cannot control what happened in the past.

So start focusing! Don’t waste your energy and life in those “should have and should not haves” or “if only(s)”!

If only I married Tom and not Jack. I should have taken that promotion. I shouldn’t have moved to London. She shouldn’t have left me. I should have gone on a diet. If only I proposed to her that summer.

If only I am wise enough, to stop this madness, right here, and right now, and do something useful with my life!” – That’s the only “if only” you should be concerned with!

Accept your past exactly as it is and start learning from your mistakes. Don’t use this as an excuse for your future wretchedness!

If it is so hard for you to accept and let go of the past, here’s a very good technique that works time and time again.

Close your eyes and travel back in time to the event that holds you back. See the picture that bothers you very clearly! Even if it is very painful and you can’t stand it, just do it. Then, start imagining how this event or situation is a picture drawn onto a big canvas. Everything around the picture is black. See it very clearly.

Next, start seeing the picture getting smaller and smaller as it was pushing away from you. See it going in the distance and slowly fading in the blackness.

When it is completely gone, say this affirmation to yourself – “I let go of my past completely! It no longer bothers me, and from this moment on, I am in complete control over my thoughts and feelings. I faithfully learn from my past mistakes, and I’ll never let this happen in the future. Thank You!

That’s a very powerful NLP technique actually.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” – Hermann Hesse

2. Checking your references

I suggest that from now on, you do at least that – check your references. Most of the time, we’re not even aware of where our beliefs came from. We tend to think and behave in a certain way, and all of this is done by habit without any conscious thought.

Let me tell you a very short story that I read somewhere on the net…

Once upon a time, there was a very old monk living in the monastery and working faithfully every day. He was dedicated to serving God and his entire life he was trying to live in enlightenment and compassion. His job was to translate ancient texts which were just copies of the original ancient wisdom. They were doing that with centuries and passed the tradition from one generation of monks to the next one.

This monk was doing this his entire life for more than 70 years. One day, he suddenly got a strong desire to read some of the original documents. Although he was sure the copies of the copies were identical to the original text, some curiosity and intuition made him dig deep in the ancient papers.

A week later, the other monks found him half-dead, lying and weeping on the floor. He was so overwhelmed he couldn’t say to the monks what actually happened. After few hours of calming him down and bringing him back to life, he silently opened his mouth and whispered: “The ancient text says ‘celebrate’, and not ‘celibate!’…”

Please check your references. Ask yourself: Where do I have these beliefs from? Why do I listen to these people? Why do I think that my past mistakes are at the same time limitations to my potential for the future? Does my constant fearing and worrying really have a sound reason? Are the people that I’m following and listening to going in the direction I want to go in my life?

 

3. Just do it!

The title says it all. If you are having doubts and worries about making that change, this might be the best advice you can possibly have. It’s actually a powerful technique which Anthony Robbins shares on his 101 coaching sessions with clients.

Here’s what to do.

Stop thinking about it and just do it!

That’s it! If you want to change something and you are having second thoughts, just STOP thinking about it and then do it!

Let me give you an example.

I want you to stretch your right arm in front of you, right now, as you’re reading this article. Come on, just do it. Stretch it in front of you somewhere at shoulders level. Now hold it there for 10 seconds and simply let it go. Have you done it? Good!

Now let’s try something different… I want you to TRY to raise your arm and stretch it in front of you. Don’t actually DO it, just try it. Think about it and try to do it. You see, “trying” is only an excuse! You can’t “try” something… You will either stretch the arm in front of you, or you won’t! You will either “just do it”, or you won’t…it’s as simple as that!

The more thought you give to it, the slimmer the chances of doing something. It’s the same with the thoughts of regretting about your past. They stop you from doing many things in your life.

Step out of your comfort zone and do the things you’ve always wanted to do! We all get one bite of the apple. If you are tired of going in the same restaurant or café again and again, just change it. If you’ve always wanted to be a vegetarian and you let doubts stop you, just do it! Don’t try to lose weight and regret about your past by blaming your parents for it, just do it! Become slim!

Don’t be afraid to create that business just because you’re regretting your past mistakes and think that you’re too old for a big change like that. Just do it for God’s sake!

Remember, Les Brown was right! The Graveyard, really is the richest place in the world, so be careful not to contribute to its wealth!

Do it now

4. A handful of activities you can do to seize your days

When was the last time you sang? Are you laughing and smiling often? Is your mood positive? Are you a cheerful person? The next time you take a shower – start singing! Sing from your heart! Do it in your car, when you go and when you come back from work.

Singing is one of the best ways to release your stale, negative energy balloons that are just waiting for a needle to pop them. It can be a healing and rejuvenating experience, so do this more often.

Smile. Laugh. It is scientifically proven that just by doing this you prolong your life and improve many aspects of your health. It will help you in letting go of the things that have been bothering you for a long time. Develop a winner and can-do attitude. Believe that you can do it!

Also, do something that scares you each and every day. Seriously! It’s the best way to get out of your comfort zone and to make permanent changes in your personality traits. Engage in meditation. Gain control over your mind and stop regretting your past actions. There really isn’t a single benefit from doing it, so why continue with the madness?

Stop giving yourself a hard time – live your life to the fullest – it’s the only one you’ve got! And don’t forget, you need to celebrate – not celibate!

Zdravko Lukovski has shown passion for personal development since his youngest age. Motivated to be, do and have more in life, he went on and started several online self-improvement websites among which http://Enlightenmentportal.com/. Read more of his writings here.

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15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. Sija Mafu

    Feb 9, 2017 at 8:33 am

    That’s some really great insight, wow!! Thank you for sharing

  2. rashmi

    Jun 27, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Wow..That waking up with regrets part really got into me..yeah they do add a big burden in the heart even though they may be small things like not finishing the work and I remember feeling like a complete loser..and that celebrate and celibacy discovery by the monk..truly first of its kind I read in these few years..Doing something that scares me daily-I am gonna start it and I have also added a little thing to it thanks to your great article-doing something worthy of celebration-no matter how small..great job!!

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 29, 2015 at 10:01 am

      Thanks Rashmi, I’m really glad that the article resonated with you!

  3. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 6, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    This passage is all about me. Why I never read it 20 yrs ago? Better late than nevet. I love the hand stretching. Just do it.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 8, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      I’m glad the article resonated with you Fredrick 🙂 I guess you didn’t read it 20 years ago because I hadn’t wrote it prior to that, but like you said, better late than never!

  4. Simo

    Jun 4, 2015 at 8:29 am

    ” The more thought you give to it, the slimmer the chance of doing it” thank for that reminder from now on, I will Just do it. I even loughed when you say ” raise your right arm, come on just do it” and I did raise my arm.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 4, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      But it’s really like that isn’t it Simo? That’s the purpose of the exercise, to come to the awareness that we cannot “TRY” something…It’s an invented word for procrastination and finding excuses. I’m really glad that you actually DID participate in the exercise – it’s much more powerful when you realize this truth by yourself!

  5. Laurie

    Jun 2, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Hi Zdravko, Yes it all comes down to two words — doing it. Even if we don’t get the results we want, we learn and must try again. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 4, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      You’re welcome Laurie. It really comes down to those words and that’s exactly why I love Nike’s slogan so much: “Just Do It!”

  6. Sameer

    May 30, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Zdravko , I must say indeed a very great and impact-full words of wisdom. Though everything is great, what resonated with me the most is the point number 1. It is put in such a great vigor that i could imagine you working hard on me to help me out. Though it really absolutely correct, i many a times find that people only connect when there is something that they can think of good coming there way. Many a times it is not clear what is going to come ahead and they are just in the holding on the past then, i think no matter what they simply will not understand the point.
    This is again only from my past experience, may be others are much wiser and it may help even reading or listening on the very first instance.
    Whatever it is thanks a ton, for the words of wisdom.
    Love you loads!!!!

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      May 31, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      Thank you Sameer for the nice words! I’m really glad that the article resonated with you and I truly hope that it added some value into your life. Unfortunately, to many people, the past is like a stalking demon who seems to be showing when they least expect it. The only way to let go of it completely is to consciously acknowledge that it is no longer a reality (it happens just in our imagination) and to mindfully accept it the way it is. It is OK to travel back in time and analyze our past in order to discover some useful life lessons which we would otherwise miss and neglect – but that’s the only useful thing we can do with it as far as it can go. We mustn’t hold onto it emotionally because it can destroy our future entirely. Although it may be hard to do this (especially to people with traumatic past) – that’s the only way to set ourselves free and open up for an exciting life which we all deserve.

      I agree with you that people make a stronger connection when they expect good things to come their way – we should always strive to be an eternal optimist. You’re absolutely right that we cannot predict our future entirely and that many people are unsure of what’s going to happen with them and their lives, but I don’t think that’s the reason why they hold so dearly onto their past. Setting goals and having a worthy ideal is extremely important – but we have to let go of our past completely in order to get there (assuming we posses inner fears and worries with roots back in time).

      Again, thank you taking the time and reading the article in the first place. I’d feel great if somehow I was able to help you with my advice.

      Take care,
      Zdravko Lukovski

  7. Lawrence Berry

    May 30, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    This is a great post. I really think that a lot people let their past shape who they are, but like you said your past, is you just that, your past. Do’t dwell on something that you can’t control. Control your thoughts and actions. I have known people who have the worst past, become great men. They will leave a legacy that represents them and their past will no longer matter.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      May 31, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      Lawrence thank you for sharing your insights with the community! I also know some magnificent human beings, who regardless of their extremely hard and painful past, were able to become great men and women and help thousands of other individuals along the way.

      All we have – is the presence! And the presence is right now, this very second, me typing these words (you reading them). We choose what to do with our present and that in turn will shape-shift our future. If we choose to live mindfully and be aware of our thoughts, emotions and actions, not only will we become much wiser and live a meaningful, happy and fulfilled life – we’ll also develop a sense of compassion and contentedness with the rest of the world, and that’s exactly where the magic begins to happen!

      I say – let’s our past be a lecture full with valuable lessons, and let’s never make those mistakes again (if we ever made them in the first place). We all deserve to live an abundant, happy, healthy and peaceful life! The past is just history and let the historians do their job – it’s not our responsibility to hold onto it so dearly…

      Thank you for your comment!
      Zdravko

  8. Tonya

    May 29, 2015 at 10:05 pm

    Great article! Thank you for posting. I really needed this swift kick today.

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Life

Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part.

I don’t like the word realistic. To be realistic means to create a glass ceiling on our capabilities. “Realistic” says that there is a limit to what we can achieve. And yet time and again throughout history, we’ve watched human beings achieve feats that aren’t realistic.

It certainly wasn’t realistic to think that, in the midst of the Great Depression, that a man could build a now multi-billion-dollar company from an animated mouse. It’s not realistic to think that a single mother, who could only write her stories on the bus to and from work each day, would go on to create a billion-dollar empire in Harry Potter. And it certainly isn’t realistic to think that a boy who dropped out of school at 16 because of his struggle with dyslexia could go on to be one of the world’s biggest business moguls today – owning planes, building spaceships and a slew of other companies.

And yet, Walt Disney, JK Rowling and Sir Richard Branson have all created these legacies. All because they dared to be unrealistic, and to believe in their vision. I’ve heard coaches tell their clients that a goal isn’t realistic. I’ve had coaches tell me the same. I’ve listened as my clients tell me their dreams, only to follow it up with “…but I don’t think that’s realistic.” Who am I, and who are you, to say whether a goal is realistic or not?

So, if we’re not completely following SMART goals, how should our goal setting look instead? See below for the 3 step process that will change your life!

1. Follow Stephen Covey’s advice and begin with the end in mind

What is your vision? Write it down, draw it if you need. Be specific. Give as much of the minute detail as possible. Define vague terms like “successful”, “wealthy” or “freedom”. Still give these terms a measure – is successful making a $100,000 or $1 million? Is that before tax or after?

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

2. Now, break it down

Having worked in the fitness industry for a long time, I know that one of the main issues in goal setting is that people focus on the wrong thing. They tend to look at the big goal they’ve set, not the next step. Think about it, when you climb a mountain, do you stare at the top, or do you look at where your next step needs to be?

Looking at the summit makes the entire climb daunting. It can seem so far away and out of reach. The same is true for our goals. If we’re looking at the “top” – say having a million dollars in the bank while we’re still at the bottom with $100 to our name, or an internationally run business while still working out of our parent’s garage – that gap can seem impossible to overcome.

Once you know where you’re heading, you need to break the vision down into small, actionable, mini-goals. This allows us to create the “steps” we need to climb the proverbial mountain.

Here’s an example, say my goal is to have a successful wellness retreat (successful defined as a profit of $1 million a year). Now that I have a specific and measureable vision, I break it down. What came just before that? Well, I would open the wellness retreat and run my first program. And just before that? I would email confirmation of the first program, with program details, to my registrants.

And before that? I would be marketing the program. Before that I would finish construction on the retreat facilities. Staff training, creating blueprints, finding financing, buying the land – these would all be steps that would need to occur on the way up to my vision being achieved.

Use this question to work all the way back until you reach where you are in life now. You now have a roadmap to show you how to get to your vision. It doesn’t matter if there are 10 steps or 1,000 steps that lie between you and reaching the vision. All you need to focus on is the step that lies just in front of you.

3. Become the person who achieves that vision

John Demartini, a human behavioural specialist, has said that humans cannot become what they don’t already think they are. So many times, I have my clients say to me “Once I achieve x, then I’ll be successful”.

Well, successful people become successful because they already believe they are. championship athletes win because for years prior they’ve been treating their bodies and training like they are a championship athlete. Successful entrepreneurs face each day with a mindset of success.

How do you embed the mindset of the person who has your vision? I love to use this lateral thinking activity: ask yourself “how will having (the vision) make me feel? What mindset will I have when I achieve it?”

Let’s use the wellness retreat example again. Having that retreat would allow me to feel healthy, like I was making a difference to others and I would feel at peace in myself. Then ask – “What other activities would allow me to feel this way?”. To feel healthy, I could attend the gym and yoga classes regularly, and eat whole organic foods. I would ensure I get plenty of sleep.

Other activities that would make me feel like I was helping others would be to have clients and help them work on their health, fitness and mindfulness goals. I could run meditation or yoga classes in my local area. And to feel at peace in myself I could schedule in time to go hiking or to be out in nature regularly. I would also make sure I had my own regular meditation practice.

“If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” – Les Brown

Can you see how it makes sense that someone who is already actively engaging in all those activities would then own a successful wellness retreat? Engaging in these activities, while we’re taking action towards our vision allows our unconscious beliefs about ourselves to shift into alignment with who we need to be to reach that vision. When we change what we believe to be true about ourselves now, we shatter any glass ceilings that have been keeping us stuck.

Using this three-step goal setting system, you now know the destination you’re travelling to, you have a roadmap to get you there, and the belief that you can. All that’s left to do is now is put one foot in front of the other.

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Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part. (more…)

Tiffany Toombs is a mindset coach, trainer, and presenter that specializes in helping people rewire their brains to overcome self-sabotage and limiting beliefs that stop them from finding success. Tiffany runs courses and workshops all over the world to empower people to take control of their lives and their minds so they can achieve their true potential in life. She believes that everyone has a message to share and helps her clients reconnect with themselves to find their passion and purpose. Tiffany has a range of valuable resources for people to understand their minds and how to access the power of their unconscious minds on YouTube or in her eBook “Unlocking The Secrets To The Unconscious Mind”.

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15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. Sija Mafu

    Feb 9, 2017 at 8:33 am

    That’s some really great insight, wow!! Thank you for sharing

  2. rashmi

    Jun 27, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Wow..That waking up with regrets part really got into me..yeah they do add a big burden in the heart even though they may be small things like not finishing the work and I remember feeling like a complete loser..and that celebrate and celibacy discovery by the monk..truly first of its kind I read in these few years..Doing something that scares me daily-I am gonna start it and I have also added a little thing to it thanks to your great article-doing something worthy of celebration-no matter how small..great job!!

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 29, 2015 at 10:01 am

      Thanks Rashmi, I’m really glad that the article resonated with you!

  3. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 6, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    This passage is all about me. Why I never read it 20 yrs ago? Better late than nevet. I love the hand stretching. Just do it.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 8, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      I’m glad the article resonated with you Fredrick 🙂 I guess you didn’t read it 20 years ago because I hadn’t wrote it prior to that, but like you said, better late than never!

  4. Simo

    Jun 4, 2015 at 8:29 am

    ” The more thought you give to it, the slimmer the chance of doing it” thank for that reminder from now on, I will Just do it. I even loughed when you say ” raise your right arm, come on just do it” and I did raise my arm.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 4, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      But it’s really like that isn’t it Simo? That’s the purpose of the exercise, to come to the awareness that we cannot “TRY” something…It’s an invented word for procrastination and finding excuses. I’m really glad that you actually DID participate in the exercise – it’s much more powerful when you realize this truth by yourself!

  5. Laurie

    Jun 2, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Hi Zdravko, Yes it all comes down to two words — doing it. Even if we don’t get the results we want, we learn and must try again. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      Jun 4, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      You’re welcome Laurie. It really comes down to those words and that’s exactly why I love Nike’s slogan so much: “Just Do It!”

  6. Sameer

    May 30, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Zdravko , I must say indeed a very great and impact-full words of wisdom. Though everything is great, what resonated with me the most is the point number 1. It is put in such a great vigor that i could imagine you working hard on me to help me out. Though it really absolutely correct, i many a times find that people only connect when there is something that they can think of good coming there way. Many a times it is not clear what is going to come ahead and they are just in the holding on the past then, i think no matter what they simply will not understand the point.
    This is again only from my past experience, may be others are much wiser and it may help even reading or listening on the very first instance.
    Whatever it is thanks a ton, for the words of wisdom.
    Love you loads!!!!

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      May 31, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      Thank you Sameer for the nice words! I’m really glad that the article resonated with you and I truly hope that it added some value into your life. Unfortunately, to many people, the past is like a stalking demon who seems to be showing when they least expect it. The only way to let go of it completely is to consciously acknowledge that it is no longer a reality (it happens just in our imagination) and to mindfully accept it the way it is. It is OK to travel back in time and analyze our past in order to discover some useful life lessons which we would otherwise miss and neglect – but that’s the only useful thing we can do with it as far as it can go. We mustn’t hold onto it emotionally because it can destroy our future entirely. Although it may be hard to do this (especially to people with traumatic past) – that’s the only way to set ourselves free and open up for an exciting life which we all deserve.

      I agree with you that people make a stronger connection when they expect good things to come their way – we should always strive to be an eternal optimist. You’re absolutely right that we cannot predict our future entirely and that many people are unsure of what’s going to happen with them and their lives, but I don’t think that’s the reason why they hold so dearly onto their past. Setting goals and having a worthy ideal is extremely important – but we have to let go of our past completely in order to get there (assuming we posses inner fears and worries with roots back in time).

      Again, thank you taking the time and reading the article in the first place. I’d feel great if somehow I was able to help you with my advice.

      Take care,
      Zdravko Lukovski

  7. Lawrence Berry

    May 30, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    This is a great post. I really think that a lot people let their past shape who they are, but like you said your past, is you just that, your past. Do’t dwell on something that you can’t control. Control your thoughts and actions. I have known people who have the worst past, become great men. They will leave a legacy that represents them and their past will no longer matter.

    • Zdravko Lukovski

      May 31, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      Lawrence thank you for sharing your insights with the community! I also know some magnificent human beings, who regardless of their extremely hard and painful past, were able to become great men and women and help thousands of other individuals along the way.

      All we have – is the presence! And the presence is right now, this very second, me typing these words (you reading them). We choose what to do with our present and that in turn will shape-shift our future. If we choose to live mindfully and be aware of our thoughts, emotions and actions, not only will we become much wiser and live a meaningful, happy and fulfilled life – we’ll also develop a sense of compassion and contentedness with the rest of the world, and that’s exactly where the magic begins to happen!

      I say – let’s our past be a lecture full with valuable lessons, and let’s never make those mistakes again (if we ever made them in the first place). We all deserve to live an abundant, happy, healthy and peaceful life! The past is just history and let the historians do their job – it’s not our responsibility to hold onto it so dearly…

      Thank you for your comment!
      Zdravko

  8. Tonya

    May 29, 2015 at 10:05 pm

    Great article! Thank you for posting. I really needed this swift kick today.

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Life

Are Your SMART Goals Keeping You Stuck in Mediocrity?

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SMART Goals – they are often seen as the gospel in the personal and professional development industry for goal setting, but are they doing more harm than good? For the most part, I can appreciate the motivation behind setting SMART goals. Do we need goals that are specific, measurable, actionable and time based? Absolutely! My sticking point, however, comes to the “realistic” part.

I don’t like the word realistic. To be realistic means to create a glass ceiling on our capabilities. “Realistic” says that there is a limit to what we can achieve. And yet time and again throughout history, we’ve watched human beings achieve feats that aren’t realistic.

It certainly wasn’t realistic to think that, in the midst of the Great Depression, that a man could build a now multi-billion-dollar company from an animated mouse. It’s not realistic to think that a single mother, who could only write her stories on the bus to and from work each day, would go on to create a billion-dollar empire in Harry Potter. And it certainly isn’t realistic to think that a boy who dropped out of school at 16 because of his struggle with dyslexia could go on to be one of the world’s biggest business moguls today – owning planes, building spaceships and a slew of other companies.

And yet, Walt Disney, JK Rowling and Sir Richard Branson have all created these legacies. All because they dared to be unrealistic, and to believe in their vision. I’ve heard coaches tell their clients that a goal isn’t realistic. I’ve had coaches tell me the same. I’ve listened as my clients tell me their dreams, only to follow it up with “…but I don’t think that’s realistic.” Who am I, and who are you, to say whether a goal is realistic or not?

So, if we’re not completely following SMART goals, how should our goal setting look instead? See below for the 3 step process that will change your life!

1. Follow Stephen Covey’s advice and begin with the end in mind

What is your vision? Write it down, draw it if you need. Be specific. Give as much of the minute detail as possible. Define vague terms like “successful”, “wealthy” or “freedom”. Still give these terms a measure – is successful making a $100,000 or $1 million? Is that before tax or after?

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

2. Now, break it down

Having worked in the fitness industry for a long time, I know that one of the main issues in goal setting is that people focus on the wrong thing. They tend to look at the big goal they’ve set, not the next step. Think about it, when you climb a mountain, do you stare at the top, or do you look at where your next step needs to be?

Looking at the summit makes the entire climb daunting. It can seem so far away and out of reach. The same is true for our goals. If we’re looking at the “top” – say having a million dollars in the bank while we’re still at the bottom with $100 to our name, or an internationally run business while still working out of our parent’s garage – that gap can seem impossible to overcome.

Once you know where you’re heading, you need to break the vision down into small, actionable, mini-goals. This allows us to create the “steps” we need to climb the proverbial mountain.

Here’s an example, say my goal is to have a successful wellness retreat (successful defined as a profit of $1 million a year). Now that I have a specific and measureable vision, I break it down. What came just before that? Well, I would open the wellness retreat and run my first program. And just before that? I would email confirmation of the first program, with program details, to my registrants.

And before that? I would be marketing the program. Before that I would finish construction on the retreat facilities. Staff training, creating blueprints, finding financing, buying the land – these would all be steps that would need to occur on the way up to my vision being achieved.

Use this question to work all the way back until you reach where you are in life now. You now have a roadmap to show you how to get to your vision. It doesn’t matter if there are 10 steps or 1,000 steps that lie between you and reaching the vision. All you need to focus on is the step that lies just in front of you.

3. Become the person who achieves that vision

John Demartini, a human behavioural specialist, has said that humans cannot become what they don’t already think they are. So many times, I have my clients say to me “Once I achieve x, then I’ll be successful”.

Well, successful people become successful because they already believe they are. championship athletes win because for years prior they’ve been treating their bodies and training like they are a championship athlete. Successful entrepreneurs face each day with a mindset of success.

How do you embed the mindset of the person who has your vision? I love to use this lateral thinking activity: ask yourself “how will having (the vision) make me feel? What mindset will I have when I achieve it?”

Let’s use the wellness retreat example again. Having that retreat would allow me to feel healthy, like I was making a difference to others and I would feel at peace in myself. Then ask – “What other activities would allow me to feel this way?”. To feel healthy, I could attend the gym and yoga classes regularly, and eat whole organic foods. I would ensure I get plenty of sleep.

Other activities that would make me feel like I was helping others would be to have clients and help them work on their health, fitness and mindfulness goals. I could run meditation or yoga classes in my local area. And to feel at peace in myself I could schedule in time to go hiking or to be out in nature regularly. I would also make sure I had my own regular meditation practice.

“If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” – Les Brown

Can you see how it makes sense that someone who is already actively engaging in all those activities would then own a successful wellness retreat? Engaging in these activities, while we’re taking action towards our vision allows our unconscious beliefs about ourselves to shift into alignment with who we need to be to reach that vision. When we change what we believe to be true about ourselves now, we shatter any glass ceilings that have been keeping us stuck.

Using this three-step goal setting system, you now know the destination you’re travelling to, you have a roadmap to get you there, and the belief that you can. All that’s left to do is now is put one foot in front of the other.

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Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

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8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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how to boost your self confidence
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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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