The worst form of fear isn’t one that keeps you awake at night staring at the ceiling. It’s not the pounding of your heart against your chest when you run away from danger. It’s the helplessness you feel when you realise you’ll never achieve your goals.
After all, if you repeatedly doubt your abilities, it’s impossible to muster the courage needed to take what you want in life. You resign yourself to fate. You accept the many bad hands the world deals you, and you’re powerless to stop the downward spiral that cuts your ambition short and holds you back forever.
Perhaps no one is more familiar with this debilitating form of fear than Leonard Kim. Now an acclaimed personal branding expert and well-respected marketing authority, he didn’t always enjoy such bright prospects.
In his TEDx Talk Kim details how at 28 years old his life took a turn for the worse. The businesses he worked on fell apart, his savings evaporated, and the once clear vision he had for the future began to fade away.
But these dark times came with a surprising revelation. Fear – and the path it illuminates – lies at the centre of self-discovery and personal growth.
Below are 3 ways fear will hold you back permanently:
1. You’re forced to compromise on your goals
We can never move forward in life if we’re constantly running from our fears. Even though most of us know what we want to achieve (the dream home, the nice car, the perfect job), we’re too afraid of rejection, judgement, and failure to go out and do the things necessary to accomplish them.
But fear doesn’t just lock us in place. The compromises and unfavourable circumstances it forces us to accept can actually cause us to lose what precious little we do have in the first place. Kim recalls the time he hit rock bottom and the series of events that drove him there:
“Because I was afraid to do the work my businesses required in order to be successful, everything I worked on just seemed to fall apart. I lost all of my savings and debt kept piling up. I couldn’t afford my electricity bill and the lights in my home shut off.
When I was hungry I had to walk down to buy a burrito from the 7 Eleven, unplug my microwave, and drag it into my apartment building’s hallway. I’d heat up my food in front of the neighbouring tenants doorways, and then go back inside to eat it in the dark.”
Kim’s lesson was brutal. Every time you walk away from a challenge, or attempt something half-heartedly, you take a step further away from your goals. Sometimes those decisions have unforeseen consequences, many of which culminate in an inescapable downwards spiral that makes it impossible to pursue your goals at all.
“Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.” – Paul J. Meyer
2. Your relationships will disintegrate
Persistent fear causes anxiety – a constant state of worry making you focus too much on your own concerns and problems, and too little on the problems of those around you.
In fact, psychological research suggests that fear can make you selfish to the point that your relationships begin to deteriorate. Jealousy, suspicion, and insecurity manifest themselves in damaging ways, and before too long you’ll isolate yourself from people altogether.
Kim encountered the devastating impact of anxiety first hand. “I started getting panic attacks. I made excuses to my friends about why I couldn’t go out, and I had no self-confidence to even consider dating anyone.”
He learned the fear that stops you from applying yourself in business or your career will eventually destroy your social life, and without meaningful relationships you’ll have nobody to support you through difficult times or to reaffirm your value.
3. You’ll always live with regret
Some conversations are tough to have. But it’s often the conversations we have with ourselves that are most difficult of all.
“I want to change careers, but I’m scared of what my friends will say. I want to grow my business, but I’m afraid I’m going to fail.” We second-guess ourselves at every junction, and falter at every major decision. We imagine a thousand ways we could fail, and as a result we’re too unmotivated to even begin. But before you resign yourself to this trepidation, examine what your future will be like as a result of your inaction.
Kim says, “I pictured myself at my funeral and I realised that nobody was going to be there. All the chairs were empty and the reason was because I chased away everybody that cared about me, nobody trusted me, and I was a complete and utter failure.”
The life you’ll lead in the future is entirely determined by the decisions you make today. If you let fear make those decisions for you, the only legacy you’ll leave behind is one of regret and wasted potential.
“Live so that when the final summons comes you will leave something more behind you than an epitaph on a tombstone or an obituary in a newspaper.” – Billy Sunday
What’s the solution?
Breaking the hold fear has over you is scary – but it’s not impossible. Here are three steps you can follow to gradually overcome your fear:
- Step 1: Recognise it – Figure out what it is that you’re afraid of. By identifying the source of your fear (and the reasons behind it) you’ll be better equipped to tackle it head-on.
- Step 2: Face it – To overcome fear, you need to do things that scare you. You’ll never get comfortable with rejection, judgement, or failure if you never leave your comfort zone.
- Step 3: Do something about it – By continually and repeatedly stepping out of your comfort zone, things that seemed scary in the fast will have a greatly diminished effect on you. Before too long you’ll cease to be afraid of them at all.
Are you letting fear control you or are you using it to your advantage? Let us know by commenting below!
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We all strive to be better every day. Most of us want a new day to bring something new, and we plan for it as well. Of course, the execution is debatable as procrastination is real and it becomes an overwhelming feeling at times. Also, not to forget the customary practice of making resolutions on new year’s eve! All of us are fascinated by the thought of preparing long lists of resolves to mark the beginning of a new year. Not sure how many people are able to translate these resolutions into functional realities. (more…)
4 Reasons Why Content Is Pivotal For Mental Health Healing
One of the most important things for an entrepreneur’s mental health is expressing their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is where content creation and writing becomes pivotal. Whether you read something that resonates with you or you write a compelling blog post, the act of expressing yourself through content can help to put a smile on your face and make you feel better about things.
Most entrepreneurs don’t spend as much time taking care of their mental health as they should. Over the course of your career, you will experience a lot of ups and downs; these emotions have the potential to take a toll on your mind and body if you don’t learn to manage them properly.
Here are four reasons why expression through content is pivotal for healing, slowing yourself down, and giving yourself grace when the going gets tough.
1. Content can be a form of self-expression
When you are an entrepreneur, you frequently face feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear, apathy, and exhaustion, just to name a few. Some days it feels like no one is on your business’s side and everyone else has it all figured out. On those days some of us try to look at our website’s analytics to cheer up.
But an even more freeing task is creating content. You create content to improve your business and reach more people’s lives. But, there is something special that happens when you write with the intention of expressing your thoughts and feelings — you open a door to yourself.
Content is inherently personal, which means content creators open themselves up when they share their thoughts on a platform. Everything from the title of the post, the keywords they choose to include, and even the content itself helps you to understand who the author of that post truly is. And as an entrepreneur, this can be an important experience because it allows others to empathize with you.
As you think through what to write about and how to express yourself, the process of self reflection is a valuable step you need to go through. You’re able to reflect on the blessings you have, assess what you learned from the negative experiences, and create a plan on how to maintain the positive experiences you’ve had.
There are a few ways that self reflection can help you with mental health healing. The act of reflecting on your experiences helps to create clarity in feelings, thoughts and emotions which will eventually lead into acceptance for what has happened or is happening currently without feeling overwhelmed by it all. This process also leads people towards finding new things they enjoy doing. Self reflection is therapeutic and can be implemented anytime you feel the need to overcome overwhelm.
“Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you’re grateful for and what you’re committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day.” – Hal Elrod
3. A sense of belonging and camaraderie
It is important to have a support network of people who will listen and understand what you are going through. When you post a blog or upload a video on YouTube, there are others who feel the same way and experience a sense of connection with you.
When you put time, attention and thoughtfulness into your writing, it is amazing when someone reads what you’ve written and comments on it thanking you or expressing how they resonate with what you’re going through. It’s hard to put into words how powerful it feels when someone who has gone through the same experience and reads your words then reaches out. There is power in expression but miracles happen when people bond over a similar experience.
4. Library of content to share with more people
It can be very difficult to know what content to share with people as the symptoms of mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, etc.) vary from person to person. But as you accumulate more and more content, this will increase the number of articles or videos available for readers to choose from depending on their specific purpose. It also builds your personal library of resources you’re able to share to different people you encounter or engage directly with.
As chaotic and distracting social media can be, it can also be a beacon of hope with the right content. Many people share viral posts, or content that interest them. Since your content is valuable and personal, the more you share it, the more likely it is to be shared with the right audience.
You never know who is watching (reading)
Your content is speaking to someone and even though they may not be actively engaged, their experiences with your work are impacting them. Think about the last time you watched TV: did everyone in the room have something entertaining to say?
You never know who’s watching because there’s always somebody reading your posts or viewing your videos-even if they just skim through it briefly. This is why creating content worth consuming is critical, not only to get you out of your funk, but also to serve your audience. Be authentic and stay true to yourself; make every post count as an opportunity for connection with your best self and for potential readers to bond with you.
5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life
Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end.
Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life.
1. Change Your Self-Concept
Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities.
2. Sign Up For An Online Course
If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need.
3. Learn From a Mentor
No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process.
4. Start A Side Hustle
The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills.
5. Nourish Your Body
As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.
Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:
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