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3 Unspoken Lessons Gifted Through Experience

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As a young child, I was fascinated with stocks. The idea of being able to make calculated decisions that could potentially yield an increase in my initial investment became a thrilling game for me. Granted, my investments were as big as I was in my youthful years. However, my passion grew with every investment, and I knew I wanted to be in the financial world when I grew up. Eventually, I decided to become a wealth advisor. In doing so, I realized I was stepping into a highly male-dominated industry. Naturally, I immersed myself in learning to gain a competitive edge among my peers and colleagues.

“Experience is the teacher of all things.” Julius Caesar

As the years passed and my experience as a wealth advisor grew, so did my awareness of what unspoken lessons were vital in propelling my career trajectory. While I may have studied a wide range of industry best practices, and read various books on human behavior, none of my studies provided me with the three most distinct keys I needed in order to level up as an entrepreneur. These lessons were gained through experience – which is something that money can’t buy. Time had to run its course with me as one of the players in my career chess game.

Here are three unspoken lessons I gained through experience:

  1. Practice the art of a thank you. We live in a world that requires us to be efficient with our time – so for many people, a thank you comes in the form of an email or a social media comment. However, both mediums lack warmth and a true investment of time. There are two things that money can’t buy – time and youth. In this case, the impact is far greater when someone chooses to invest time in a handwritten thank you note. This gesture says, “I value you, and I wanted to invest my time in making sure you knew that,” versus, “This is a formality, so I wanted to check it off my list.” Remember that your actions speak for you too. Make sure you like what your actions say.
  2. Rethink the power of a tribe. Life – and business – are team sports. Having the right people on your team and a part of your tribe is imperative to your growth. These people should not just be cheerleaders – they should be people who can provide you with support and constructive feedback so that you can grow. Valued are those who dare to share key perspective – especially if it challenges the popular perspective. Therein often lies the exact guidance you need to thrive.
  3. Implement “Off” Time. Building a brand and developing a career is demanding and requires a time investment above and beyond. Add to that the fact that we live in a world that is 24 / 7 where the expectation is often for business professionals to be available any day and any time. However, guidance can often come across as ill-advised when it comes from trusted counsel that is burnt out. All things – including our trusted devices like smartphones and computers – need time to recharge. Don’t be afraid to observe off-hours to serve your clients better.

Implementing these three best practices has been a game-changer for me. Through investing time in proper “thank yous,” I’ve connected on a much more personal level with clients and colleagues. By being selective with whom I allow into my tribe, I’ve fostered a network of support around me who often say the unpopular thing in order to serve my best interest. The constructive support I have received has allowed me to grow, which has been a gift. While implementing off time is more challenging than it appears to be, I have seen how my guidance has been more in-tune as I lead with a sharper perspective. However, the greatest lesson of all lies in the choice to share what you know so you can invest in others… it’s a lesson that gives back in priceless ways.

Letitia Berbaum is paving the way for future generations of female financial advisors. With over a decade of experience, Letitia has established a proven track record, helping her clientele become financially fit so that they can thrive through life’s ebbs and flows. As COO and partner at The Zandbergen Group, Letitia specializes in wealth management, asset transfer strategies for high net worth individuals and multi-generational families, and full-service strategic planning for business owners – from those seeking an entrepreneurial framework to those exploring an exit plan. She has earned the Accredited Investment Fiduciary® (AIF®) designation and holds both Series 7 and 66 securities registrations as well as Long Term Care Insurance, Life & Health, and Insurance licenses.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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