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3 Simple Steps to Living Your Best Life Right Now

If our desire is to fill that success-sized hole in our lives, then we must evolve, and we must change. 

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The weather was outstanding in the Northeast last week, and I decided to take full advantage by going to the beach. 

Thankfully, it’s only a 5-minute drive. 

There’s nothing like sitting on the beach in CT in early spring.

I sat at the edge of the beach right before the amazing beach homes start.

To my left was an outcropping of rocks ranging from a foot high to about 4 feet tall. I didn’t count them, but there were probably 30-40 of them.

Two little kids, probably 6 to 7, were playing on them and having the time of their lives.

Their mother walked over and asked what they were up to, and this was the response.

“We’re two white tigers, and this is our home. This is the kitchen, that’s the bathroom, here’s our kitchen table, and that’s the refrigerator. The bedrooms are over there.”

Bear in mind they were pointing at rocks. 

“And you’re the mommy white tiger, and you’re going to go hunt food for us to cook.”

When we’re children, our lives are rooted in creativity

Everything is possible, and we cast no judgments on our creation. 

It never crosses our mind that a rock can’t be a refrigerator. 

In fact, if an adult or older child were to come along and say, “It’s not a refrigerator; it’s a rock,” the little kid would look at them like they’re the crazy person in this equation. 

Our world is one of creation, authenticity, and joy.

As we age, our creativity becomes silly, not practical, unrealistic, and “you don’t understand how things work.”

We’re told we have to “buckle down.”

It becomes unsafe to create, which is a massive component of our authenticity.

When our creativity is slowly wrung out of us, so is our willingness to be authentic.

We develop the belief that it’s not safe to be who we are and that we have to become who we believe we have to be so we can be safe.

We drop our role as creators and take on the role of the chaser.

We chase approval and acceptance from others based on what we believe will earn us approval and acceptance. 

We chase and chase and chase, and maybe, we earn approval and acceptance from others – and it feels fantastic.

Until it doesn’t. 

“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

Around the midpoint of our lives, we begin to feel like something is off and missing. 

We may have professional and materialistic success, but we also have a success-sized hole in the middle of our lives, and no matter how much we chase, we’ll never fill it. 

Because we’ve been running towards the approval and acceptance from others while simultaneously running from the one person’s approval and acceptance we truly desire:

Ourselves.

We’ve created lives based on someone’s blueprint and wonder why we don’t feel comfortable in our own skin. 

The inflection point between our 1st and 2nd half of life is one of the most significant opportunities presented to us.

Do we continue to move forward as is, hoping life will magically change?

Or, 

Do we accept that what we’re doing isn’t creating the life we want to live, and for change to occur, we must change? 

Do we draft a new blueprint that will carry us into our 2nd half with a sense of mission, meaning, and fulfillment?

Do we reinvent our identity from the chaser back to the creator?

If our desire is to fill that success-sized hole in our lives, then we must evolve, and we must change. 

However, that change can feel overwhelming and terrifying. It can feel like we have to give up everything we’ve worked so hard to create, and we don’t know who we’ll be when we make this change.

We threaten our fabricated identity, and the ground beneath our feet collapses. 

The evolution from chaser to creator doesn’t need to be that challenging.

Here are 3 simple steps you can take today to create your extraordinary second half.

1. Unfulfilled Dreams

We must identify what calls to us from our early childhood, teenage years, and twenties.

Is it breathing life into that Civil War epic, working with our hands, teaching, or learning to play an instrument?

What do we regret not doing?

Achieving clarity on our unfulfilled dreams is critical to our evolution from chaser to creator. 

2. Core Values

Our core values are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our decisions and actions. They are the foundation of who we are and what we stand for.

When we clearly understand our core values, we are better equipped to make decisions that align with our true selves. We are more likely to pursue goals and activities that bring us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. 

How do your core values align with your unfulfilled dreams?

3. Awe & Wonder

We must remind ourselves what creating feels like in our body and mind.

But how?

We cultivate creativity through the experiences we choose to have.

When those experiences are novel, when they ignite awe and wonder, when they’re moments of truth and beauty, we cultivate creativity and create meaning.

Immersing ourselves in nature, museums, or concerts and doing what we say we’d never do are an easy start. 

When we experience novelty, awe, wonder, truth, and beauty, we cultivate creativity and experience meaning.

We reignite our childhood creativity. 

Individually these 3 steps have the power to change our lives and provide a tremendous ROI.

All 3 combined, and we’ll create the extraordinary second half we’ve dreamed of. 

Craig Stanland is a Reinvention Architect & Mindset Coach, TEDx & Keynote Speaker, and the Best-Selling Author of "Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison." He specializes in working with high-achievers who've chased success, money, and status in their 1st half, only to find a success-sized hole in their lives. He helps them tap into their full potential, break free from autopilot, draft a new life blueprint, and connect with their Life's Mission so they can create their extraordinary 2nd half with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Connect with him here

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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