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3 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence When Things Go South

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There will be multiple times in your life where you feel the entire weight of the world on your shoulders. Things won’t go your way, you will lose friends, clients and a sense of who you are. But that comes with the territory of being an entrepreneur. Even some of the most powerful individuals deal with self doubt. Many face the imposter syndrome at some point.

However, the true test of an entrepreneur is how they bring themselves back in the game when things don’t go their way. What type of person do you become when your back is against the wall? Do you give up? Do you thrive under the pressure?

How do the most successful entrepreneurs go through hell and somehow manage to snap back into the game? They play the cards they were dealt with as if it was the hand they wanted, but most importantly, they had the confidence in themselves that no matter what they were going through, they were going to make it out.

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” – Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

I recently interviewed one of the most successful entrepreneurs I know who’s shared the stage with business legends such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell & Phil Knight. Ed Mylett is a massive serial entrepreneur who’s been interviewed by people like Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone and Matt Manero and is a peak performance coach for some of the top athletes in the UFC and in the NFL.

Here are 3 things I learned about dealing with self confidence:

1. Learn From Someone Who Has a Great Track Record

One of the main reasons why personal development doesn’t work is because of who’s teaching. There’s many people in the online space now who can teach something that they’ve never even done before, it happens all the time. However, the way to avoid that is to do your due diligence and find someone that has a proven track record of not just personal development – but enough life experience.

It’s tougher to teach someone what to do in a certain position if you’ve never even been in that position before. So first things first you need to find the right person to learn from. This will be one of the biggest game changers in your life since you’re not learning from an unreliable source.

2. Self Confidence Comes From Self Trust

Confident people are self trusting people. One of the key ingredients in self confidence is self trust. The same reason you should learn from someone who has a great track record is the same reason you should be confident in yourself.

If you have a track record, why should you doubt yourself? You’ve done it plenty of times before right? It’s nothing new. You’ve proven it time and time again, therefore there’s no need of convincing. If you feel like you have imposter syndrome, it’s because you’re not grounded in who you are as a person and in your abilities.

Is it normal to have doubts? Of course, it happens to everyone. But Tony Robbins says that when successful people are in a funk they don’t stay there. Other people stay in that downward spiral because they don’t know how to get out of it. Personal Development starts with keeping the promises you’ve made to yourself.  

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Don’t Get Addicted to Other People’s Opinions

One of the reasons you may not have self confidence is because you let your mind be controlled and attacked by other people’s opinions of you. One of my favorite sayings is that “water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.” This means you can only let the negative opinions of others get to you if you give them any value.

In this era it’s so easy to get consumed by what other people think because of social media. It’s all about the likes, how many selfies you can get…etc. However these short term bursts of approval will eventually govern your life. You will start to live your life based on approval from others instead of where true fulfillment comes from and that’s yourself.

How do you boost your confidence when things aren’t going well? Comment below!

Copywriter, persuasion enthusiast, published author, public speaker, and travel lover is the best way to describe Cole VanDeWoestyne. Cole's fascination with persuasion started almost a decade ago where he first began selling Cutco Knives. It didn't take long for Cole to move his way to Beverly Hills where he was the marketing director for the McLaren dealership for a short time before branching off and starting his writing agency where he has networked with the world's top copywriters, content writers, marketing experts, and storytellers. He's the writer behind many 8 and 9 figure entrepreneurs and has even ghostwritten in a handful of best-selling books. Cole has one goal: Make the world a better place by helping others tell their story. You can follow Cole on social media @Colevandee or on his website Colevandee.com.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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