Life

10 Steps to Creating the Life You Actually Want

Published

8 years ago

Jan 29, 2017

Too many people are living in circumstances that they are not happy with. They do not know that they can actually have the life they want. Some have not even taken any time to think about what it is that they actually want. Having an idea of the life you want means you can create your reality and live a life that makes you happy.

Follow these 10 steps below to walk towards living the life that you want:

1. Ask yourself what you want in all aspects of life

If you do not know what you are looking for in each area of your life you will wake up one day and wonder why you didn’t get what you wanted out of life. Before you can really be happy and get what you want from this life, you must ask yourself what you really want.

Many people believe that it is impossible to have their dream life, but it is possible. You just have to decide what you want first. Take the time to sit down and write this out. What do you want your life to look like? Visualise it. Visualise your ideal world and get it down on paper.

2. Get clear on your goals

Once you know what you want in all areas of your life then you need to get specific and clear about your goals. Take those ideal visions and get specific about when you want to achieve, when you want to achieve it by and how you will know you have achieved it.

“Set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there.” – Bo Jackson

3. Make a plan & take action

This is where many people get stuck and never actualise their visions and their goals. Once you have figured out what you want you need to create a path to get there and actually do the work. This can be tricky for people because this is where it can get hard but taking massive action separates those who will make changes and live the life that they dream of and those who will just always be dreaming and wishing forever.

4. Don’t settle

When creating the life that you want it is easy to get a life that you do not want and it can be difficult to work on yourself and your goals to ensure you get the life that you want. When it gets hard many people end up settling for what they have and push themselves for what they want. Don’t be someone who has settled for second best. Remember that this is your life and you can have whatever you want from this life as long as you work and don’t settle.

5. Stay focused

Creating the life you want requires you to stick to your goals. It is easy to get side tracked with so many distractions in this world. Social media, nights out drinking, spending money on meaningless items to keep up with the jones’.

We spend so much time tending to the needs of others through emails, social media, adverts constantly asking you to buy products and family or friends organising big boozy nights out. If you can take back your agenda and focus on the things that you want to do rather than answer to the needs of others, you will be on track to reach your goal.

6. Remember you deserve it

Sometimes people get scared and worry that they are not good enough or that it is only other people that achieve their dreams and goals. You need to remember that you were put on this earth and you have the skills and abilities that are unique to you. Nobody can do anything the way you do it, because you are unique. Be yourself and remember you are worth it.

7. Work hard

Goals don’t work unless you do. Having the life that you want will not happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen if you do not put the work into it. So many people set goals, make a plan and then expect things to change and improve but the reality is it takes time, work and effort to make the changes towards living the life of your dreams. So start today.

8. Stay positive

It can be difficult to stay in a positive mindset when things get hard or setbacks occur, but cultivating a happy outlook can be the difference in staying on track towards your goal and never reaching it.

“Positive better is nothing than negative nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard

9. Take time alone

We all love our family and friends, however, when you are pursuing a goal it is important that you take time to be by yourself. This will give you the opportunity to reflect on your life, what is going well, what part of the plan needs to be adapted or just to relax by meditating or reading.

I find taking time alone to be the most important part in reaching any goal, and have even found a name for it, ‘touching base’. The reason it is so important is because it gives me the chance to reconnect with myself, reconnect with what I want and ask myself if I am on the right path. It is difficult to do that when surrounded by people all the time.

10. Learn and adapt

The road to achieving your goals will not be a smooth road, but if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. During the process of working towards your goals you will experience failure and setbacks but this is where the growth and development happens. Your growth and development is necessary for you to achieve your goals so you must keep moving moving forward.

Finally, a person living the life that they want is no accident. They went out and actually created it using these 10 steps. Get started NOW and create the life you want.

Are you living the life you want? What are you doing to make sure you are? Leave your thoughts below!

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Lorna Harkins

Lorna Harkins is a personal & professional coach, using coaching to help clients overcome obstacle, cultivate a mindset for success and achieve their goals. It is her mission to ensure that everyone knows that they have the ability to be the hero, to have what they want, and then to empower them to take action to make their life and existence one of meaning, fulfilment and success. If you liked this article follow her on twitter @_bafr.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 6, 2025

Daniel Bell

Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
Cultivate healthier relationships
Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
Exhibit better work ethic
Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

What challenges have I already overcome?
How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

Published

4 weeks ago

Dec 27, 2024

CT Dool

Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

Published

2 months ago

Nov 21, 2024

M.S. Rao

Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending. However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones. When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)