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10 Questions You Must Ask Yourself to Discover Your True Self

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self discovery

A comprehensive guide to self-discovery; this is what one must ask themselves. There is nothing purer than the path to discovering the true meaning of one’s life, the purpose of existence and the acknowledgment and connection that can be forged from within with oneself.

Through self-discovery, a person is closer to realizing their true dreams and passions than they realize and comprehending the value that each of these goals holds to them.

The following are a set of 10 questions that everyone must ask themselves in order to discover their true self.

1. What about myself do I like most?

Perhaps the most important goal in one’s life must be to achieve inner peace and this is not possible without accepting yourself for who you are. Hence why the first question must be, ‘What about yourself do you like and appreciate the most?’ By preparing a list of things you like about yourself, self-acceptance is built.

2. What aspects of my life do I wish to see a change in?

Just as important as knowing the positive things, equally necessary is to ask oneself, ‘What aspects of my life do I wish to see a change in, with regards to myself?’ This helps to improve the quality of you as a person by working on your negative aspects.

3. What are my fears?

Confronting one’s fears is a big milestone, conquering of the fears and insecurities is only possible when you recognize what these fears are- hence the next thing you should be asking yourself is, ‘What are your fears? What holds you back?’

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. What am I grateful for?

Gratitude is one of the most important virtues of a person. In order to understand and appreciate all the things that hold value and render you thankful for, you must ask yourself, ‘So far in my life, what are all the good things and who are all the people in my life I should be thankful for?’ This lets you access all the people who mean the most to you but most importantly who has been there for you in times of despair.

5. Am I happy doing what I’m currently doing?

Another life-changing question everyone must ask themselves periodically is whether they are actually happy doing what they are currently doing. Is it really what you wanted to be doing or are you just following instructions of those who have dictated to you that this is how life should be? If the answer is no, then you must ask yourselves what can be done to change this.

6. What are the most important things I’ve learned in life?

Another question that proves very helpful when addressed regularly is the one that asks, ‘So far in life what are the most important things that you have learned? Which of the lessons have been life-changing and what changes have you brought about- positive and negative to your life based on these lessons?

7. Who inspires me the most and what is it that inspires me about them?

Very insightful questions to ask yourself is, “Who is the person who inspires you the most and what is it about this person that inspires you? “-  This will give you an important outlook on what exactly is it that you are working towards and what necessary personal changes must you make in accordance with achieving these goals.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

8. How important is money to me?

‘How important is money to me?’ This is a very important question as it determines not only your goals in life but also helps you discover what exactly your priorities are and whether or not you are assigning your time and resources towards what is most important to you. In case the answer is that money is not a priority, then it leads you to the question of what exactly is your current priority and what should you be doing for this.

9. Where do I see myself in 5, 10 and 20 years?

“Where do I see myself in 5, 10 and 20 years from today?’ Only when you recognize and accept your goals in a realistic and achievable manner keeping in mind your duties and responsibilities towards your family, can you work towards your goals as per your maximum potential and dedicate yourself towards realizing all of them in the order that you want to.

10. What do I believe in?

‘Do I believe in the idea of God? What does God represent in my life? Identifying with a religion irrespective of what you are born into highlights your moral principles in life and reflects what exactly you believe to be good and to be wrong. A person who believes in God is seeking security and a modem of self-reassurance as well as a conscience upon which they can build a set of values and virtues abide by for a life with the least regrets. The belief in God shows that such persons need the responsibility of being answerable to someone who checks out their actions.

Asking yourself the above-mentioned questions shall act as a guide in your path of self-discovery and realizing your goals and passions before time runs out. It also helps you to prioritize who and what means the most to you and whether you are dividing your attention correctly respective of the priority you have assigned.

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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