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The Art of Charm’s Jordan Harbinger on His Top Networking Sins and How to Avoid Them

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Jordan Harbinger knows a thing or two about networking and relationships. He’s the host of the Art Of Charm podcast, which helps over two million listeners a month start, maintain, and grow their business relationships.

Before all that though Jordan was an attorney on Wall Street. He found himself working side by side with people who had left their families to take this job. In his recent interview with entrepreneur and investor Matt Bodnar on The Science of Success Podcast, Harbinger explains what set him apart from the herd of extremely ambitious individuals.

“I found this sort of secret, hidden path I should say, to the top,” Harbinger tells Bodnar.”I had previously thought, you work your way to the top, put in your time, and then you get introduced along the way to all these high level people and you start hanging out and throwing each other deals, and it turns out it kind of happens the other way around” Harbinger explains.

“Pulling a good network together takes effort, sincerity and time.” – Alan Collins

So Harbinger began working on his relationship building skills and before long found his niche helping others work on their skills as well. “It’s a whole different skill set that’s a lot harder,” he tells Bodnar. “What got you into the Wall Street firm is not necessarily going to get you to the top…it’s two totally different skills.” Noting that books smarts is often not enough to reach the next level of what many define as success.

Throughout the years Jordan developed a list of networking sins he shared with The Science of Success that he recommends everyone, no matter the stage of your career avoid falling prey to.

Check them out below:

1. Failing to dig the well before you are thirsty

“A lot of people look at what they can get out of an interaction instead of what they can give. You fail to think about how this looks from other people’s perspectives.” Explains Harbinger. The thought being that before you can begin asking connections for favors you ought to add value to them and see things from their perspective. He continues, “You have to be out there helping people get what they want before there’s an agenda on the table.”

2. Keeping score

“So what a lot of people do is they do this weird tit for tat, and there’s kind of a fine line here” he tells Bodnar. Harbinger brings up a time when a friend offered to do him a big favor and in the end, couldn’t deliver and wasted no time in turning around and asking him for a huge favor immediately after. “That’s not really a fair trade, because it’s a covert contract. You’re waiting for me to accept what I think is a favor, then bait and switch…Just Kidding! It’s a trade!” Offering a connection, a favor for the sole purpose of gaining leverage for your own gain is not the way to a strong and lasting relationship.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” – Keith Ferrazzi

3. Thinking you’re the one that has to deliver

“What I mean by that is that you’re the one who has to help everyone out.” Jordan uses an example of someone asking you for decorating advice. “Oh man, I wish I could help Jordan but I’m not a decorator… so I can’t help him out” Well… turns out you can! “Connect people in your network with each other, because as you do that, your network grows and your relationships grow.” Before you know it you’re the go-to guy who your connections feel indebted to for introducing them to others who can help them reach their goals.

“What we say at Art of Charm is always be giving, ABG” Harbinger tells Bodnar. “That means always be looking for ways to help other people without worrying about what you’re going to get in return, and when you constantly make that the practice instead of angling on how to get things from other people, you inevitably end up getting things back.”

You can listen to Jordan’s full hour long interview with Matt on Matt’s website or on iTunes, Stitcher, or the Android Store.

Matt Bodnar, named a “Rising Restaurateur Star” by the National Restaurant Association and a “Strategy Pro” by Restaurant Hospitality Magazine, is a partner at an early stage investment firm Fresh Hospitality where he focuses on deal making and strategy. Bodnar is also the creator and host of "The Science of Success" a #1 New & Noteworthy podcast, with more than 1 Million+ downloads, focused on improving decision-making, understanding psychology, and sharing insights from experts. Bodnar previously worked as an import/export consultant in Nanjing, China and spent several years at Goldman Sachs before returning to his family roots in the hospitality space.

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
Image Credit: Midjourney

In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

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entrepreneurial leadership skills and traits
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When you think of Richard Branson (Virgin Group), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation), and Ted Turner (CNN), one thing becomes clear: they are not just entrepreneurs, they are entrepreneurial leaders. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

Building a Business Empire: Lessons from the World’s Boldest Entrepreneurs

Learn essential lessons, success strategies, and mindset shifts every aspiring entrepreneur needs to overcome challenges and build a thriving business.

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how to build a business empire
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Back in July 2017, I attended a business seminar on entrepreneurship in India. With my appetite for learning and meeting new people, I wanted to explore the latest developments in the entrepreneurial world. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

Why Ideas Are More Valuable Than Resources for Entrepreneurial Success

Discover why ideas, not resources, are the true driving force behind entrepreneurial success, innovation, and lasting growth.

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Power of ideas in entrepreneurship
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History shows us that the greatest minds, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Stephen King, and countless others, faced failure early on. Yet, instead of seeing failure as the end, they treated it as a comma in their story, not a full stop. (more…)

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