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3 Simple Steps to Reinvent Your Extraordinary Life

We reinvent ourselves from a chaser of things to a creator of meaning.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

76% of people die with the same regret. “Not fulfilling their ideal self.”

This is from a Cornell study conducted a few years back.

The “ideal self” is the attributes you would ideally like to possess, such as hopes, goals, aspirations, or wishes. 

It’s the forsaken dreams, romantic interests not pursued, and choosing the “safe” job instead of the adventurous position.

It ties nicely to the #1 regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

So how do you become the minority? 

How do you become the 24%?

First, we must understand that we have two double whammies to contend with.

1. Our lizard brains

Our deepest human need is to survive.

Our brains are survival machines and nothing more. They’re designed to keep us alive. 

As part of this hard-wiring, we’re also efficiency machines.

Our brains seek the path of least resistance. It’s a primal desire to conserve calories to ensure our survival. 

Anything outside our comfort zone is unknown and, therefore, an “unnecessary’ risk.

So we seek the comfort of not leaping into our unforsaken dreams, the comfort of not being rejected by the romantic interest, the comfort of the “safe” job.

Complacency trumps courage.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

2. Conditioning

We’re conditioned by family, friends, and society to chase certain things to be happy.

Those things are almost always outside ourselves: 

The right job title, the right amount of money, the right car, the right clothes, etc. 

The most significant trouble with externals is that they do supply happiness in the short term. 

Long-term, they transform into regrets; for example, the parent who worked 80-hour weeks to maintain a house that was too big and missed family and connection time along the way. 

So back to the million-dollar question:

How do we become the 24%?

We reinvent ourselves from a chaser of things to a creator of meaning

Your purpose in life isn’t to stare at a spreadsheet all day or out-maneuver John for the corner office so you can chase more things. 

I believe there’s more than one purpose to life and one of them is this:

To find what makes us come alive, commit to its accomplishment, and share it with the world. 

These are the 3 C’s to a meaningful life.

Connect:

We must learn about ourselves, what matters to us, and who we are. We must get clear on who we want to be and want we want our lives to be.

We’ve got to connect with ourselves and find what makes us come alive. 

When we seek what makes us come alive (Life Calling), we connect with ourselves on a profound level. 

We create an opportunity to live in alignment. 

When we live in alignment, we cultivate deeper connections with those around us because we’re connected deeper to ourselves. 

We improve our relationships (with ourselves and others). 

We cultivate self-trust and confidence. 

We give purpose and meaning to our lives.

Create:

When we commit to creating/giving life to our Life Calling, we give ourselves one of the greatest gifts of being alive; we give ourselves a mission. 

A mission cultivates joy, intention, purpose, meaning, self-trust, confidence, and fulfillment. 

A mission gives us focus, direction, and aim. 

We wake up in the morning with reason and purpose. 

We give purpose and meaning to our lives.

Contribute:

When we share our creations, we give back to the world that gave us the ability to create what we created. 

We’re of service to something more significant than ourselves. We bring inspiration into the world and show others what’s possible, which creates more creation. 

This is one of the highest purposes we can serve.  

Just because 76% of people die with the same regret doesn’t mean you will. 

You have, at any time, the opportunity to enter the 24%.

It’s not too late, you’re not too old, you didn’t miss your chance.

Reinvention Reminder: A year from now, you can regret that you didn’t start a year ago or a year from now, you can be in awe at how far you’ve come.

Craig Stanland is a Reinvention Architect & Mindset Coach, TEDx & Keynote Speaker, and the Best-Selling Author of "Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison." He specializes in working with high-achievers who've chased success, money, and status in their 1st half, only to find a success-sized hole in their lives. He helps them tap into their full potential, break free from autopilot, draft a new life blueprint, and connect with their Life's Mission so they can create their extraordinary 2nd half with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Connect with him here

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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