Change Your Mindset
There’s Only One Thing You Need for Success
The willingness to ask and live and love and overcome and learn and grow and so many other things all stem from one thing.
I know, the catchy title has you rolling your eyes and saying to yourself obviously there’s not only one thing that leads to success, but hear me out.
After years of pursuing my career in music, I finally caught a break last year and my single played on over 100 radio stations worldwide, which led to hundreds of interviews in 2022 and closing out the second half of the year being offered my own television show on a new network which was quickly picked up by New Jersey Television.
Of course, this whirlwind of success led to the next logical question that no one has asked me over the last 10 years of struggle; How’d you do that?
I’m reminded of the great Chinese proverb about the Chinese bamboo tree.
The story goes that the Chinese bamboo tree does not grow at all for the first 5 years after it is planted but on the sixth year the tree grows 80 feet in just 6 six, which leads to the age old question “did the tree grow in 6 weeks or 5 years and six weeks”?
You are educated and articulate enough that I don’t need to state the obvious that it took 5 years and 6 weeks for that tree to grow, even though it didn’t look like it was growing at all for the first 5 years.
So after meeting with a new student in my course for creatives and business owners and she asked “How’d you do that”? It led me to really dig in to what has now become the whole concept for my television show as well as my courses I teach and it really does come down to one thing.
The obvious and technical answer to her question is hours of research, cold calls, rejection from radio station after radio station, some interviews that were a hit and some interviews where I logged on and the host was smoking weed (true story lol).
But that’s the obvious answer, and it’s not what she meant, and I knew it. Yea the technical day to day transactions spark curiosity but what she and many others after her really wanted to know was how’d you DO that. How’d you stay so committed? How’d you get through the times when you felt lost? How’d you grind it out when nobody believed in you. HOW did you do it?
I journeyed back through my experience and like so many of us reflecting on life, specific memories began to stand out to me.
Like the time I went to a music conference, waited in the lobby for all 200 attendees to take a picture with the famous music composer who was the keynote speaker, and then when it got to my turn asked if I could buy him a cup of coffee and if he ever had interns. Then asked for a job and ended up working for him in Hollywood for 3 years.
Or the time I got fired from 4 different jobs because “I loved music” more than I was dedicated to my job. Yes JCPenney, I do love building my own empire rather than trading my time for $8 an hour. (Minimum wage back then lol).
Or the time I got pulled onto the infamous stage at SOB’s in New York City by the former President of Haiti and after the show his manager pulled me aside and said “You weren’t ready for that”. And the formerly shy, uncomfortable, awkward wallflower inside of me smiled and said, “Yea, maybe not. But I did it. Good for me”.
So what did all these things have in common. That was the answer.
It was the willingness.
The willingness to ask for an opportunity when it was presented to me, and not let the paralyzing fear of asking overcome the paralyzing fear of wondering what if for the rest of my life.
The willingness to do what I love and pursue a life I love, because why the hell not. Because I understood this precious and unpredictable thing we call life for what it is, just that; unpredictable. Here today and gone tomorrow. Not in a morbid way, but in a live in every moment, soak up every sunshine sort of way.
The willingness to go for it. To take a chance. To not wait “until I was ready” but to live in the moment, and be proud of myself for pushing past limiting beliefs, worry and fear of what people might say and just going for it.
We all define success differently, but I would argue that whether success looks like a dream job, a fat bank account, a beautiful family or all of the above, the willingness to ask and live and love and overcome and learn and grow and so many other things all stem from one thing.
You’re right, there are MANY things it takes to be successful, but they are all just a branch on the bamboo tree of willingness.
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen
Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
Change Your Mindset
The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?
Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.
In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
Change Your Mindset
The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers
Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.
Why Daily Rituals Matter
Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)
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