Change Your Mindset
The 7 Hidden Signs You’re Self-Sabotaging Your Progress
Self-sabotaging behaviors affect our personal and professional success
I’m about to confess here: I hate goal trackers.
Do I really want to be reminded that I didn’t achieve any -or not even 80%- of the monthly goals I’ve set? And why would I want to see my indecisiveness reflected in a planner, journal, or vision board when my goals change as fast as my clothes because I’m either unable or unwilling to finish what I start?
ADHD is a challenging condition. No matter the times I decide to trick it, I end up being played by it. However, despite my psychological state, my mood, laziness, and silliness sometimes make me unable to take action. Even when everything works in my favor, and I know I have to start, continue, or finish now, I don’t.
It took me nearly three years to finish my website and four years since the moment I decided to start writing every day to actually write every day. Whenever I stopped for whatever reason, I unconsciously punished myself by deciding to start over or work on something completely new.
It wasn’t a long time ago that I learned about the concept of self-sabotaging. And then, I figured, that was precisely what I was doing. But it was so crafty; I didn’t even realize it. I had to dig deep to uncover the signs and shift my mindset.
So, if you’re also wondering why you never make progress despite your commitment and willingness to achieve whatever it is that you want, you might be unconsciously sabotaging your own success.
Here are the 7 signs you’re self-sabotaging your progress:
1. You are setting self-fulfilling prophecies.
“I want to start my own business, but I’m not disciplined enough.”
“I want to have a family, but no one can love me.”
“I want to start working out, but I don’t have time.”
By acknowledging the habits that stand as obstacles to the outcomes we want to deliver, we‘re setting ourselves up for failure. The way that works is simple: we expect a negative behavior from ourselves that affects the result of our desire, and then we lead that expectation to become a reality.
How to overcome it:
Use the law of attraction to manifest positivity towards your desired outcome. My favorite technique is manifestation scripting, where I envision and write down my future self as I‘ve already achieved the desired progress.
Ensure the self-fulfilling prophecies are working for you and not against you. Believe you are worthy of whatever it is that you want to achieve and accumulate positive energy ad high-vibration thoughts around your success.
2. You are procrastinating.
“I’ll finish tomorrow.”
“I’ll do it later.”
“I’ll start on the 23rd of March.”
“I’ll do it when I have some free time.”
Postponing action is the enemy of making things happen. The more you delay, the more time works against you and your goal.
How to overcome it:
Avoid being paralyzed into inactivity by creating smaller, more straightforward goals and fulfilling them. Commit to one small action a day. Start and keep going gradually, but make sure you start.
Small goals can still be ambitious cause when you have a clear vision of where you are going, the rest falls into place.
3. You are overthinking it.
“What if…”
“And if that, how will I…”
“And what can we….”
“And how can I….”
Overloading your mind with hypothetical scenarios only drives action further away.
How to overcome it:
Nothing wrong with visualizing or daydreaming, but ensure like self-fulfilling prophecies, it works for you and not against you. When you are trapped in a cycle of weighing decisions and expecting outcomes, to a certain degree that you reach an “analysis-paralysis” state, make sure you take a break in thinking and clear your mind with a relaxing activity, like mindfulness or meditation.
4. You embrace negative self-talk.
“You know you aren’t good enough to achieve this.”
“Oh, c’mon, you ‘re not that beautiful; he won’t even notice you.”
“You aren’t that smart to succeed.”
Negative self-talk usually stems from our inability to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are. Criticizing and judging ourselves for our imperfections creates a negative self-image that only alienates our confidence from everything we do.
How to overcome it:
It sounds cliche, but the key is to start embracing and prioritizing self-care and self-love. It’s impossible not to get trapped in negativity once in a while, but we can work on implementing a habit that replaces a negative self-thought with a positive one.
5. You fuel an unconscious desire to validate your limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are tough to break. Coming from our childhood experiences or even from our parent’s opinions, we carry those perceptions of ourselves throughout our lives without even questioning their roots or reputation. It must be that way because that’s the only thing we have heard, known, and experienced. And then we are trapped in a vicious cycle of reproducing them through repeating negative statements and bad habits.
“I will never be good at singing.”
“I can’t stretch.”
“I can’t quit drinking.”
“I can’t stop scrolling social media.”
We don’t actually do anything that causes us to think otherwise. We implement and validate those negative statements, and then we affirm ourselves with an “I told you so.”
How to overcome it:
Identifying our limiting beliefs is the first step towards eliminating them. Usually, our limiting beliefs are the reasons that we are being held back from thriving. By knowing our negative impressions about ourselves and taking necessary actions to kill them, we can become different, better people and unlock an abundant and thriving mindset.
6. You are overdoing it.
Working passionately and actively towards your goal is healthy. Overindulging and immersing in a long series of to-do lists only to find yourself expecting a specific outcome or beating a challenge is obsessive.
I used to take wellness challenges so literally that I punished myself with negative self-talk or by starting from scratch if I missed my veggies or my 8 hours of sleep one day. Like everything in life, balance is vital. Allowing yourself to take a step back, relax and forget about the outcomes for a second is healthy.
How to overcome it:
Combine productivity and hard work with breaks and playtime. Allowing ourselves to get one day away from whatever it is that we‘re working towards and indulge in recharging activities, such as spending quality time with friends or doing something pleasurable, will give us space to introspect and rest.
7. You are protecting yourself too much.
Failure can’t hurt us if we don’t take any risks that expose us to it in the first place. But, limiting our identity to the person who is afraid to take risks means that we are afraid to live. To experience success or progress, we must actively work towards making our vision a reality, which means we must make decisions. We can’t experience the thrill of succeeding without dealing with the hurt of failure.
How to overcome it:
Allow yourself to feel comfortable with failing or losing. Everything is part of the process – a journey with ups and downs that teaches us things. Every pitfall makes us wiser.
Final thoughts:
Self-sabotaging behaviors affect our personal and professional success; everyone deserves to know the tips, tricks, and mechanisms to stop it. Mindset hacking is essential to achieve growth and thrive inside and out. It’s incredible what every one of us can accomplish when we can reprogram our subconscious minds to work with us instead of against us.
Shift Your Mindset
10 Hidden Psychological Barriers That Are Killing Your Success
Sure, success often gets credited to hard work, talent, and a sprinkle of luck. But dive into psychology, and you’ll find sneaky mental patterns and behaviors messing with your progress.
Here are ten fascinating insights into these hidden barriers, along with some tips to kick them to the curb:
1. Unconscious Mental Processes and Performance
Our unconscious mind is like a backstage crew, controlling much of the show without us even knowing. It’s tricky because we can’t always tell if it’s one thought or a gang of them messing with our performance.
- Why It Happens: Our brain is a multitasking machine, processing loads of info behind the scenes to keep us functioning. This can sometimes trip us up without us realizing it.
- Example: Imagine prepping for a big presentation. Despite being ready, you feel super anxious. Those jitters could be old memories of past screw-ups haunting you.
- How to Overcome It: Get into mindfulness and self-reflection. Techniques like journaling can help you spot and deal with these sneaky influences.
2. All or Nothing Thinking
Ever see things in black-and-white? That’s a cognitive distortion called all-or-nothing thinking. No gray areas, just extremes.
- Why It Happens: Our brain loves to simplify stuff, even if it means being unrealistic. It’s like a shortcut that often leads to stress.
- Example: Thinking you have to be perfect at your job or you’re a total flop. It’s all or nothing, no middle ground.
- How to Overcome It: Challenge those extreme thoughts. Find the balance and remind yourself that effort and progress matter, even if things aren’t perfect.
3. Self-Limiting Beliefs
These pesky beliefs sneak in from past experiences and hold us back. They’re like invisible chains.
- Why It Happens: Our brain likes to stick to the familiar to avoid failure. These beliefs get formed early and dig in deep.
- Example: Bombed a math test once and now think you’re doomed to suck at math forever? That’s a self-limiting belief in action.
- How to Overcome It: Spot these beliefs and question them. Replace them with positive affirmations and look for evidence that proves them wrong.
4. Habit Formation and Unconscious Behavior
We’re creatures of habit, with a lot of our actions running on autopilot.
- Why It Happens: Our brain automates routines to save energy. Handy, but not always helpful.
- Example: Procrastinating? That’s a habit that can tank your productivity and success.
- How to Overcome It: Build new, positive habits. Set small, doable goals and track your progress with habit trackers.
5. Normative Unconscious Processes
These processes keep us stuck in our comfort zones, resisting necessary changes.
- Why It Happens: Familiarity feels safe, so our brain resists change even when it’s good for us.
- Example: Sticking with a job you hate because it’s familiar, even though it’s not what you want.
- How to Overcome It: Push yourself out of your comfort zone with specific, actionable goals. Get a mentor or coach for support.
6. Violation of Social Norms
Going against the grain can be seen as abnormal, but sometimes it’s just what’s needed.
- Why It Happens: Society’s unwritten rules can be strict, and breaking them can lead to judgment.
- Example: An entrepreneur taking wild risks might seem reckless, but those risks can lead to big breakthroughs.
- How to Overcome It: Own your unique approach and find places that value diverse perspectives. Explain your rationale to others and seek support.
7. Statistical Rarity and Abnormal Behavior
Just because something is rare doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Context is key.
- Why It Happens: What’s unusual can be misunderstood, especially without considering cultural and situational factors.
- Example: Preferring solitude might seem antisocial, but in some cultures, it’s a respected trait.
- How to Overcome It: Respect cultural differences and find communities that appreciate your uniqueness.
8. Personal Distress and Behavior
Behaviors that stress you out can be markers of deeper issues, but not always.
- Why It Happens: Distress signals can be about deeper problems or just responses to tough situations.
- Example: Chronic stress from overworking can lead to burnout, tanking your performance and well-being.
- How to Overcome It: Take care of yourself. Get help if you need it and practice stress management techniques like exercise and meditation.
9. Maladaptive Behaviors
These are survival strategies gone wrong, sticking around when they’re no longer useful.
- Why It Happens: Behaviors that once helped you cope can become harmful if you keep using them in new situations.
- Example: Avoiding conflict might have been useful before, but now it hinders effective communication.
- How to Overcome It: Learn new coping strategies that fit your current situation. Practice being assertive and communicating openly.
10. Impact of Labels on Behavior
Labels can stick like glue, influencing how we see ourselves and how others see us.
- Why It Happens: Labels simplify things but can reinforce negative patterns and limit potential.
- Example: Being called “lazy” can crush your self-esteem and motivation, even if it’s not true.
- How to Overcome It: Reject negative labels and focus on your strengths. Surround yourself with people who see your potential and support your growth.
Understanding these hidden psychological barriers can help you develop better strategies for success.
Recognizing and tackling these unconscious patterns can unlock your full potential and set you on a path to personal and professional growth.
Change Your Mindset
Navigating The Depths Of Self-Love And Relationships With Stefanos Sifandos
In the vast expanse of personal development and relational expertise, Stefanos Sifandos emerges as a beacon of transformative wisdom. With a journey spanning over two decades, Stefanos has delved into the intricacies of human psychology, relationship dynamics, and self-evolution, crafting a narrative that resonates with the collective longing for deeper connection and self-awareness.
Self-Love Journey
From a turbulent childhood marked by violence and uncertainty, Stefanos embarked on a quest to understand human nature, pain, and potential. His empathic nature, fueled by a desire to make sense of his surroundings, led him to a career in personal development and relationship coaching. With over two decades of experience, he has helped countless individuals, from Olympic gold medalists to corporate leaders, navigate the complexities of human relationships and personal growth.
Stefanos’ journey took a pivotal turn when confronted with his own shadow — his infidelity revealed the depth of his unresolved trauma. This moment of reckoning propelled him into a transformative process of self-examination, leading to profound personal and professional growth. His ability to face his darkest fears and embrace vulnerability allowed him to develop a deeper, more authentic connection with himself and others.
Now, as a father and husband, Stefanos continues to evolve, learning from every relationship and experience. His story is a testament to the power of introspection, resilience, and unconditional love. Through his work, he inspires others to embark on their own hero’s journey, encouraging them to confront their fears, embrace their true selves, and build meaningful, lasting connections.
“Healing begins when we traverse the dark corners of our psyche, face our fears, and step into a life of radical transparency and self-acceptance.” Stefanos
Relationship Philosophy
Stefanos, a seasoned expert with over two decades in personal development, harnesses a rich tapestry of experiences to guide individuals through the complexities of relationships and self-love. Drawing from his own transformative journey, marred by childhood trauma and self-discovery, he advocates for a profound connection with one’s own pain and joy as a pathway to deeper understanding and love.
Stefanos’ work, enriched by engagements with diverse high achievers, from Olympic medalists to CEOs, underscores the universal quest for authentic connection and personal evolution. He emphasises the necessity of facing one’s shadow, fostering play and willingness in relationships, and embracing continuous growth. Stefanos’ approach is a blend of empathetic insight and practical wisdom, offering a roadmap to navigating the nuanced dance of masculine and feminine energetics and cultivating relationships that are both deeply fulfilling and spiritually enlightening.
Stefanos illuminates the path to self-love and intimacy through practices rooted in self-awareness and continual growth. With over two decades in personal development, he emphasises the power of stillness and silence, finding these moments essential for introspection and connection with oneself.
Stefanos integrates physical self-care, like cold immersion and sauna use, to maintain a balanced state of mind and body. He champions the importance of play and novelty in relationships, advocating for a playful spirit to sustain and deepen bonds with partners. His journey reveals a commitment to self-exploration and the courage to face personal shadows, fostering a safe space for intimacy to flourish. Stefanos’ narrative is a testament to the transformative power of embracing vulnerability and the continuous pursuit of self-growth, underscoring the belief that true intimacy begins with a profound connection to oneself.
“The sacred dance of giving and receiving in love is a delicate balance, where the truest form of intimacy is found not in the grand gestures, but in the quiet moments of shared vulnerability and presence.” Stefanos
Sex & Intimacy
Discover the life-altering power of non-ejaculatory orgasm, a mystical journey revealed by relationship expert Stefanos. Dive into an ancient realm where men harness their sexual vitality, transcending the fleeting pleasure of climax.
Stefanos unravels the sacred tapestry of sexual energy, guiding us to preserve our life force for profound intimacy and spiritual awakening. Embrace this transformative practice, merging the physical with the divine, and unlock a wellspring of passion, vitality, and connection. This isn’t just sex; it’s an odyssey into the heart of your erotic essence, where every moment pulses with potential and every breath is an invitation to ecstasy.
Stefanos invites you to reclaim your sexual power, not through the relentless pursuit of orgasm, but by cherishing the journey itself, crafting a legacy of love, vitality, and transcendent pleasure.
A Message To The World
If Stefanos had a global platform, his message would be succinct yet profound:
“Do the thing that you’re unwilling to do but that you know you need to do.”
This call to action embodies the essence of his teachings, urging individuals to confront their fears, embrace their truths, and embark on the journey of transformation with courage and openness.
Stefanos’ journey from a tumultuous childhood to a relationship expert underscores the profound transformation possible in the realm of human connections. His 24-year odyssey through personal and professional development, working with an array of high achievers, has equipped him with unique insights into the dynamics of relationships, especially the interplay of masculine and feminine energies.
His work is vital in today’s society, where distractions and external dissonances challenge the essence of human connection. By integrating deep psychological insights with practical experience, Stefanos guides individuals and couples toward cultivating divine unions and authentic relationships. His approach, focusing on inner work, play, and willingness, offers a blueprint for evolving relationships in the modern era. Stefanos’ narrative is not just a story of personal triumph but a beacon for those navigating the complexities of love, intimacy, and self-discovery in our rapidly changing world.
Key Takeaways For Your Self-Love And Relationship Journey
- Embrace Your Inner Journey: Recognize that the path to fulfilling relationships and self-love begins with confronting and healing your own traumas and shadows.
- Cultivate Presence and Play: Regular engagement in playful activities and mindful presence enhances intimacy and connection in relationships.
- Practice Non-Attachment in Love: Explore the depths of intimacy with a balanced approach to sexual expression, understanding that love and desire can exist in expansive, yet grounded ways.
- Be Willing and Open: Approach life and relationships with a willingness to engage in difficult conversations, embodying honesty and integrity in your interactions.
- Believe in Your Potential: Surround yourself with people who believe in you and support your growth, as relationships are pivotal in navigating the journey towards personal and financial fulfillment.
Connect With Stefanos Sifandos
Change Your Mindset
The Art of Convincing: 10 Persuasion Techniques That Really Work
The knack for persuading others can act as a catalyst for change, open doors, forge alliances, and effect positive change
Persuasion is not as complicated as it may sound. In fact, it is something that we have been practicing since childhood. Do you remember convincing your parents to let you skip school, asking your teacher not to assign homework, or persuading your boss to give you a day off? Well, these are just small examples of what persuasion looks like. (more…)
Personal Development
5 Key Reasons Why Perfectionist’s Procrastinate
Hey there! I’m Joel Brown, a procrastination mindset specialist. In my world, it’s all about guiding my students through repatterning exercises to break free from the shackles that prevent them from scaling new heights in life.
Now, you might hear ‘perfectionist’ and think, “Ah, they’re destined for success!” But here’s the real deal: perfectionism is far from a superpower. It’s a sneaky villain in disguise, sapping emotional and physical strength, disrupting sleep, and fueling an endless cycle of rumination—all in the pursuit of getting everything ‘just right.’ This relentless chase is what we call the ‘Obsessive Idealist‘ procrastination type.
If you don’t know which out of. the 6 procrastination types you are then you can take this quick 3 minute procrastination type quiz on my Mindstrong Academy website.
Through my fourteen years of coaching, I’ve identified six procrastination types, but my journey started with a personal revelation—I am an Obsessive Idealist. I’ve been there, constantly toggling between creation and procrastination.
And today, I invite you to explore this path with me. If you’re nodding along, thinking, “That sounds like me; I’m a perfectionist too,” then stick around.
I’m about to shed some light on why you might be stuck in this cycle.
Here’s a perfectionist procrastination type video here of what I’m breaking down in this article for you:
The Obsessive Idealist: Unpacking the Perfectionist’s Paradox
First things first, make sure to take the procrastination quiz: mindstrongacademy.com/quiz to see where you stand. Now, let’s dive into the world of the Obsessive Idealist. Often labeled as high achievers or perfectionists, the core of their procrastination lies in the mind’s protective pause. It’s a shield against perceived threats, pitfalls of perfectionism, and the constant battle between the now and the future in our minds.
Here’s the paradox: what seems like a strength for high achievers can become a crippling hindrance. Obsessive Idealists are in a constant struggle to avoid failure, aiming for 100% perfection. But let’s face the truth—no one is perfect. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, athlete, or any individual striving for excellence, embracing imperfections and learning from failures are crucial steps.
The Traps of Being an Obsessive Idealist Procrastination Type
Analysis Paralysis: Overthinking every detail to the point of inaction is a common pitfall. It’s like trying to get everything perfect, but in reality, it backfires, stalling your progress.
The Unrealistic Standards Syndrome: Setting impossibly high goals is like chasing a mirage. It’s not just about being competitive; it can lead to unfair self-criticism and unrealistic expectations of others.
The Time Trap: Believing there’s never enough time to complete a task perfectly leads to constant postponement. This selective focus on strengths, while avoiding areas of improvement, limits your true potential.
Avoidance of Criticism: Dodging feedback hinders growth. It’s essential to learn to accept constructive criticism without internalizing it as a reinforcement of the “I’m not good enough” narrative.
The All-or-Nothing Lie: Believing that you must operate at full throttle or not at all is a dangerous misconception. Embracing the middle ground, like delegating tasks and seeking mentorship, is key to balanced success.
Embracing Imperfection: The Path to True Progress
In the MindStrong Academy, where I teach conquering procrastination, we focus on managing these patterns effectively. Currently, we’re offering a 7-day free trial, so don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your mindset: MindStrongAcademy.com The Academy is more than just a course; it’s a community where you’ll find support, accountability, and tailored resources like a 31-day planner and visualization audios to realign your focus.
In conclusion, recognizing and managing your tendencies as an Obsessive Idealist is crucial. By addressing the deep-rooted “I’m not good enough” narrative and embracing imperfection, you can shift from a state of constant stress to one of harmonized power.
Remember, movement doesn’t always equate to progress. It’s about finding balance, embracing downtime, and allowing yourself the space to grow and learn.
I encourage you to take the quiz, join the MindStrong Academy, and start your journey towards a more balanced, successful life.
Let’s break free from the chains of perfectionism together!
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