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Why Your Values Dictate Your Success

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Do you know what your core values are? There’s what you say and there’s what you do. You can be clear with your core values by watching your actions. Do they match what you say your values are? If no, why not? 

1. Values dictate behavior

Action is preceded by thought, whether those thoughts are conscious or subconscious. Your thoughts are filtered by your individual set of values and beliefs, which process through your neuropathways to help you arrive at the decisions you make for the actions you take. 

According to social science, values are personal but also have a cultural element to help you understand what’s right and wrong; good and bad; important and unimportant. Values often bond people together and create the social norming systems of a culture. 

It’s important to know which values you hold so that you can take intentional action. Studies state that values act as a guide for behavior and become central to your identity. When a value becomes central to your identity, that’s when it becomes a strong indicator of your behavior. 

What this means is that if you want to become successful (as you define it), you need to have the values that the successful version of you has and make them key parts of your identity. For example, if the successful version of you values organization but you live in a cluttered mess, then you need to take time to get yourself organized and make it a priority. Actions can shape your values, and as you upgrade your behavioral standards, they dictate how you see yourself. To start this process, write out all of the values you believe the successful version of yourself to have. Save that to the side and read on.

“Good values are like a magnet – they attract good people.” – John Wooden

2. Behavior dictates success

Your behavior will show you where your identity and core values stand as of today. If you’re not sure which ones are important to you, look at your behavior. If you value convenience over effort, you’ll see a lot of clutter or sloppiness in your life. If you value growth over comfort, you’ll constantly challenge yourself and engage in activities that make your mindset expand. Your behavior will show you what values have become part of your identity.

Once you recognize which actions you’re engaging in regularly, you can identify the values and beliefs that those behaviors are running on. Make a list of the current values and beliefs coming up for you. Looking at that second list, you can compare them to the list you created for the future version of yourself

What do the lists have in common? What differences exist between the two lists? Honing in on the commonalities and differences gives you a clear indication of where you need to put the effort in for cultivating new or stronger values that become part of your identity.

3. Focus and support

Your values are the consistent indicators of what your focus centers on, which allows you to make more conscious decisions that can lead to success. When you’re facing decisions or actions, a good way to draw your attention back to your own success is to ask yourself, “Is this choice aligned with the success I want and the values I hold or not?” That answer will help you make stronger decisions that help you achieve your goals.  

Likewise, they also help you bond with other people. You’ll often work with people who have similar values. If one of your core beliefs and values is elevating others, then you’re more likely to work with people who will elevate you. Having a support system that understands and honors your values will help you stay on track for success.

“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” – Roy E. Disney

4. Building new values

Creating a new system requires a bit of discipline. You have to give space for the new behaviors and thought patterns to happen while catching the old ones before they sabotage you. 

In order to do that, you have to be conscious of what you want to change and actively choose new actions for habits that were likely automatic before. The more you implement these changes, the more natural they’ll become for you. That’s how the new values become part of your identity, which leads to success when those changes are in alignment with your goals.

What do you think are the most important values to embody on your journey to success? Share your thoughts with us below!

Kellee Marlow is an Impact Entrepreneur, Business Strategist, Empowerment Accelerator, and Motivational Speaker. She built her career by embracing disruption and identifying innovative concepts and technologies that challenged companies and people to think differently. After 20+ years of business experience in different roles and industries, Kellee has created a catalyst mindset that is science-proven, focused on empowerment, innovation, and inspiration that guides people to successfully realize their entrepreneurial or personal goals. She is the founder and host of Spark, on KXSF.FM and 8+ online platforms that stream world-wide. Kellee created the Spark platform to inform, inspire, and ignite her audience by pinpointing the underlying value of the expertise from change-makers in psychology, wellness, business, and innovation. She tackles topics including the future impact of artificial intelligence and cryptocurrency; career reinvention and self-empowerment tools like empathy, gratitude, and social fluency.

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Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

A viral TikTok resume trick promises interviews overnight, yet one wrong move could blacklist you from future jobs.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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