Success Advice
The Day I Decided To Stop Being A Loser And How You Can Do The Same
I didn’t always have my life all figured out. In fact, there are still parts that I need to work on. One day I was contemplating whether I should start posting articles on LinkedIn. It was on that day that I decided to stop being a loser.
I remember having lots of fear about what people would think of me. This whole blogging thing can only work if you are prepared to put everything on the line.
Safe, predictable advice doesn’t work – I’ve tried.
My dream is to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development. I don’t want to change a thousand lives; I want to change millions and hopefully billions of lives. I want to leave a legacy that can last for generations.
That’s obviously no small task. Shortly after making that decision I started blogging. Every day people told me that my dream was stupid and nobody really cared for what I was doing. Now, three years on, I get swamped with emails every day of regular people like you and me that want to stop being pussies and achieve their big dream.
Definition of being a loser: Being a coward. Being mediocre and having a lack of determination. Not being prepared to overcome fear.
Influencing people through not giving a F#@K
I wrote a risky article with this title on LinkedIn. I sat on it for more than six months, too afraid to post it. I had fearful thoughts that I could upset the corporate world in which I work in. Then I thought “No that is total BS. I’m trying to help people and if that’s a crime then screw it.”
The following day I posted the article. People loved it. They saw past the swear word in the headline, for what I was trying to say. What’s ironic is that I had created an article with this bold headline and then I was doing exactly the opposite of the advice.
No longer was I going to be a loser. If something scares you and you’re holding back, then that’s exactly what your next move should be. Bold moves are how you will achieve your big dream.
Here’s my advice on how to stop being a loser and achieve your dream:
1. Talking about my failed businesses was risky – I did it anyway
A few years ago there weren’t that many people talking about their failed startups and there was no event called “F#@K Up nights.” It wasn’t cool to hang at the Facebook head office and talk about how your side hustle or startup failed. I chose to screw what everyone thought and shared my story anyway.
It was a risk because the business world could reject me yet again for my pretty dumb mistakes. I did it anyway because I decided to be a loser no longer. I committed to not holding back like so many chumps who pretend that nothing ever goes wrong and everything they touch turns to gold.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Don’t fall for that lie. Your biggest failures are exactly the thing you should talk about. Pussies hide from failures and that’s not the person you want to be. Your story is what will draw people towards your big dream. Embrace it with everything you have.
2. Working on the weekends instead of “brunching” was not trendy – I did it anyway
When all the mediocre pussies were out on Saturday brunching and being comfortable, I was doing reps in my home office and writing.
As a side note, I hate the word brunch. It is a loser way of saying “I waste more time than anybody else performing the human function of eating while taking photos of my food and putting it on Instagram with the hashtag #foodporn.” Seriously! Breakfast happens in the morning and lunch happens in the afternoon.
When all the pussies took Monday off and went to the beach because it was really hot, I was at home sweating it out and writing. Achieving your dream is impossible if you just piss fart around and hope that success will fall on your lap.
“Anything worth doing takes time and you have to subtract that time from all the mediocre crap in your life that’s not important”
You know exactly what I’m talking about too. As I write this article, I’m at home sick with a cold. Am I being precious and sitting in bed like a big baby sipping soup and asking for hugs? Hell no. I can still rest my body and be at home working on my dream.
3. Talking about my failed relationship with a work colleague was risky to put on the company homepage – I did it anyway
You might think this was suicide. I allowed the marketing team at my corporate gig to post an article that mentioned a failed relationship with a work colleague. It went on the homepage for everyone to see including the ex-girlfriend.
Did I be a loser and say no? Not on your life. It’s who I am. It happened. This is me in all of my glory and people will find out regardless. The only person you should be doing is you. Stay the course with this way of thinking and people will respect you for who you are.
4. Spending thousands on a website was risky – I did it anyway
I built a personal website with a freelancer. I kept changing my mind and it became expensive. Pretty dumb move when my side hustle was not making a single dollar. I had faith though and knew what I was doing mattered.
Eventually, I went viral all over the Internet and I was very glad I had a proper website to refer people to so I could collect email subscribers and provide even more value.
People who don’t get your dream will think you are nuts. All that matters is that you know what you want and that you believe you can do it. The rest will follow once you think like this. Only a loser would not invest their own money into their dream.
5. Flying all around the world with a fear of flying was risky – I did it anyway
Nothing beats face-to-face interaction. I had to stop being a loser and overcome my fear of flying in order to meet people that were crucial to my dream. It wasn’t easy, but I did it anyway. After a few flights, I had forgotten about my fear.
I was having so much success with meeting people that all the excuses and fear dissipated like magic. Go to places and meet people. You’ll need a network of people around you to achieve your big dream and the quickest way to do that is in person.
“Flying can be expensive and so can being a loser too. You have to spend money sometimes to fast track your path towards success”
6. Talking about love when you are a blokey bloke was suicide – I did it anyway
The viral article I wrote that started on LinkedIn talked about love and it was being shown to a business audience. As a “blokey bloke” people expected me to be the last person on Earth to talk about love. It was a necessity and I believed in what I was saying.
Your default response to be a loser is initiated when you don’t live in alignment with your true self. By hiding behind a mask, you push everyone that matters away from you.
“Something is only taboo when nobody is saying it. When everyone starts to align with your message it is no longer taboo”
7. Waking up at 4 am to work was risky for my health – I did it anyway
I previously suffered from burnout because I let everything into my diary and had no focus on what I wanted. Deciding to wake up at 4 am each day was risky because it had the potential to take me back to the days when I suffered from burnout.
I did it anyway because my dream mattered. I made sure that I went to bed earlier and got plenty of rest to counteract the bold decision to live when the rest of the world sleeps. Getting up early is how you can become super-productive and get more time in your day.
8. Continuing to blog seemed pointless – I did it anyway
These words I write were ignored for years. I believed in myself and did it anyway. Believe in yourself and your potential.
***Final thought***
Do you want to play in the big league or the little league? The risks you take and how much you put yourself out there will be the answer to that question.
“There’s no magic carpet that’s going to stop by your house, take you to Planet Happiness and then introduce you to the person of your dreams who then wants to have hot steamy sex with you”
Quit being a loser and get with the program.
Don’t tell me you’ve earned your success and then in the same sentence tell me that you are where you want to be. Put on a pair of fighters gloves and get to work. Show me some sweat. But first, get into the gym. Start the game. Not tomorrow. Right now!
Then come and talk to me about your level of success. Only then will you stop being a loser like I was. Only then will you step out of the darkness and into the light.
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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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