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6 Lessons I’ve Learned From Staying In A Place That You Want To Escape

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6 Lessons I've Learned From Staying In A Place That You Want To Escape

“Purgatory” is my own personal nickname for the hometown I’ve been shackled to for so long. In purgatory, there is no good and no bad, just endless, drab waiting.

In my hometown, you wait and wait until you’re old and grey, and then you die, confused and angry.

Here are the 6 lessons I’ve learned in trying to escape this place and live a life of color:

 

1. Never waste opportunity

Opportunity can be fickle. For some, it never seems to stop coming along. For others, it has to be created. If you want to have an easy life, don’t allow opportunity to slip through your fingers. I don’t care if you’re 15 or 55, there’s no excuse to opt out of an opportunity to create a better life. If you’ve got a good gut feeling about it, go for it.

I’ve been given opportunities quite a few times in my life, and I wasted every last one because I either couldn’t see them for what they were or didn’t take them seriously. Hindsight is 20-20 they say, but I can tell, looking back, that my biggest problem was always my cocky attitude. I never thought opportunities would stop falling into my lap. Silly me.

To not let opportunity pass you by unnoticed, humble yourself enough that you take every possibility seriously. Don’t think that you are above anything or that you deserve better just because it isn’t ideal. Life is never truly ideal; get over it and make a move.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

2. You never do it alone

This isn’t a world that you can flourish in by isolating yourself. Everything that you could possibly want in this life, you can more easily get by knowing the right people. Everybody says that you should walk the walk instead of talking the talk, but talkers get a lot done too.

Is it your goal to land a job or start a business? Knowing the right people can help you with that immensely. What about excelling at a particular talent or sport? Knowing an expert and getting involved in the right community will set you on your way with that as well.

This rule applies to everything. When it comes to socializing, always seek to expand, never contract. What I mean by this is that you should always be reaching out as much as you can to meet new people and get to know the people already in your life. You’ll be surprised by how things turn out when you do!

 

3. It’s all about the end result

Forget “The Journey.” You can start enjoying your journey once you start succeeding, but until then you’ve got to stay focused and angry enough to make it happen. Yes, anger is your weapon (see below).

When you start thinking about it as a journey, you lose focus. It becomes a “lifestyle” and not something that you’re starving to move forward in. Maintaining some sense of equilibrium while trying to enact major change is an oxymoron, and you will sabotage yourself if you’re not willing to let yourself get obsessed.

Stephen Covey
 

4. Knowing how to use knowledge is more important than knowledge itself

I learned a ton of things in school, but only apply about 10% of it in my day-to-day life. Logically, this makes it all a massive waste of time. I could have just researched into what I wanted to know on the fly; it is the age of information. Even if you were to go on to college or university, there’s always more money to be made from going into business and creating your own income. This applies before or after your schooling. If I were to go back to school though, I would go with an in-demand trade and start getting paid sooner than later.

The exception to this is experience. If you have experience in a money making skill like sales or marketing, you have a real leg up in making money in many many ways.

Having a lot of knowledge isn’t what makes someone a genius. A genius is someone who brings a new perspective to the table, and does things a little differently. They can use knowledge in new and creative ways to create solutions and become a leader in their field.

There is no right answer to how to use knowledge. Once you understand that, you’re one step closer.

 

5. Suffering doesn’t mean you’re moving forward

Suffering is just the passing of misfortune. Suffer enough, and you can become delusional, and start to think that you’re paying the price for success. You are not. Only taking control of things and improving your situation is moving forward, and this is especially so when you’re in a situation that causes you to suffer.

I’ve been through many difficult situations which caused me to suffer. Eventually, I started thinking that this is just how life is going to be for me, and that I gained something from going though hardship. Well I did,  after many difficult years of the same old crap, I finally learned that I can refuse to suffer anymore.

Get in the mindset of refusing to suffer. Sure, do what you gotta do to get where you’re going but never confuse that with pointless suffering. If there’s nothing to gain, you don’t need pain. We all go through some rough patches, but don’t ever let yourself start thinking that it’s just something that you have to put up with forever.

“Better be wise by the misfortune of others than your own” – Aesop

6. Anger is how you save yourself

When the going gets tough, the tough get angry. When all else fails, anger will keep you on your feet and pushing you forward. It is the great useful emotion that gives you the power to do more than you thought you could before.

Anger works because it is a state of strong discontentment. “I’m not happy with how things are going, and  I’ll fight to make a change.” With this deep burning to make a change driving you forward, it really becomes possible. A lot of us have been conditioned to not experience strong anger so easily. You have to break this conditioning. Use this exercise: Think about a situation where you were treated particularly unfairly, and allow yourself to experience the spark of anger from this. Focus on this emotion and learn to cultivate it. Repeat this exercise over and over, and soon enough you will have much easier access to your own anger.

Don’t be afraid to unshackle the chains society has placed on your emotions. These limits only serve to hold you back and homogenize your soul. Let your rage show in all it’s burning glory!

 

Thank you for reading my article. Please leave your comments below!

Chris Turner is someone who bet his future on obsessively learning and moving forward- particularly when it comes to all things moneymaking, rather than taking the normal, "traditional" route. He writes about what he's learned from his struggles and successes at his blog, unhappyinvalid.com.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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