Success Advice
How To Think, To Get What You Want
You’ve probably experienced this at least one time in your life already.
You meet someone who is incredibly successful and then discover they are the same age as you… (or younger!)
Or you bump into an old school friend and they have everything you’ve ever wanted. Or maybe you’ve been reading something in the media and learn about ANOTHER successful entrepreneur hitting the jackpot with an idea you’ve kicked around in the past – and you wish that it could have been you.
And it’s not like you’re short of ideas.
It’s not like you’re not driven and inspired.
It also not as if you don’t work hard, either.
So what is it?
What is it that makes the difference between those people who thrive and ALWAYS seem to get what they want, and those who struggle forever, never quite making the big time?
Well the answer is pretty straight forward really. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. This is what takes us out of the game…
The truth about creating what you want in your world all comes down to your thoughts.
Successful People Think Only About What They Want
Think about it: when you have something important coming up where you want everything to go perfectly, you’ve probably also had the tendency to go through all the things that could possibly go wrong in your head. And without realising it, this very act isn’t giving you scope for a contingency plan, as you may assume… It’s actually increasing the chances of it all going wrong.
And if you do have a tendency to do this on some level – you are not alone.
Often in introductory coaching sessions I ask people what they want, and often they’ll spend a lot of time and energy telling me what they *don’t* want.
We all spend a huge amount of time, thinking about what could go wrong, pushing against it to try to will it not to happen, and fighting the outcomes that we don’t want…
And sure, we don’t want to have bad stuff happen to us, so it’s good to take reasonable precautions. But always thinking the thoughts of what we don’t want, actually pulls them into our experience.
Let me say that again… because this is important:
Thinking about what we don’t want actually makes it more likely to happen! ReTweet This
And then there are your subconscious thoughts too, i.e. all the thoughts that you’re not looking at! These also count towards what is created in reality.
Most of the time what we’re creating, we’re not doing it consciously… so whatever is in our subconscious is what shows up in our world… namely our fears and frustrations. Have you ever noticed how once one bad thing happens, and you dwell on those negative thoughts, something else bad happens?
And if you have a mixture of thoughts, what you end up creating is a hotch-potch of the sum total of them.
But it’s not your fault.
We’re Not In Control Of Our Thinking
The root cause of the problem is that most of us, most of the time, are not in control of our own thinking. We are at the mercy of programmes (the thinking habits) we’ve been running since childhood… And what is worse, we’re completely unaware of them.
Sure, maybe we’re aware on some intellectual level that we create and re-create the same situations again and again. If we have problems with our work colleagues, then moving jobs probably isn’t going to solve the problem, because we’ll still take all our programmes about victimization with us…
Maybe you’ve seen this with your relationships too?
People tend to date the same person again and again, only each time it’s a difference face with a different name. At the very least you may have noticed it with someone close to you, if not yourself. 😉
And these programmes also keep us believing we are small.
They keep us thinking that we are at the mercy of our own internal baggage.
We believe that because we are the way we are we can’t change our internal wiring. Or any change we do eventually manage to make has to be slow and hard work.
We think thoughts habitually that keep us doubting. In fact, most of us are on a loop about what we think is possible – we have an idea of something we want to do, but we then have a number of reasons why we can’t do it, and then each time we think the thought about the thing we’d like to do, we practice the reasons why we can’t again and again, until we have boxed ourselves in with our own limiting ideas.
But there is a way out of this.
There is a way of taking control of your thinking so that you can unpick these limitations and live a bigger life.
The Hard Pill: You Are Creating All The Time
You mind is a creative machine – whatever thought you think, at some point will show up in your material world… unless you undo the thought or immediately think the opposite.
And this is a scary concept what with all the myriad of thoughts that slosh around our heads every second of every single day! To take on board that they are having a direct effect on our live in a tangible way is really quite a bitter pill to swallow at first.
But the only way we are going to be able to rock out this success that we lust after is if we are able to take complete and total responsibility for everything we are creating in our world – the good, the bad and the ugly.
If you like what you’re creating, then great. Keep thinking those thoughts that are creating it.
But if there are things you would rather have differently, think only the thoughts of what you want to have, and take complete responsibility for having made it like that in the first place.
Now, sometimes this cause and effect relationship between our thoughts and our experience is hard to see…
It takes a smart, aware individual to be open to the possibility… and if this is the first time you’re reading something like this, you’ll probably have to read it many more times in other places to truly be able to live it and see the Truth in it.
But that’s ok…
All learning at this level is experiential – and it’s ok to take your time to experience this for yourself and prove it to yourself rather than just accept this concept as an intellectual “theory”.
Theory does nothing to change a life.
Theory means nothing until you can apply it in practice.
So let’s talk about how you can actually use these insights to make real change in the degree of success you create…
How To Create What You *Actually* Want
…and not what you don’t want.
Step 1: You’re On The Hook!
Now that you know this, you will find yourself automatically stepping up and becoming more powerful in what you can produce. You’re now on the hook for everything that happens in your world now…
But this is great news. Because it puts you back in the driving seat.
If you created something (good or bad) you have the control over it to either create it again, or completely un-create it. It’s a good place to be. But you get there by taking responsibility for everything that shows up in your world.
Step 2: Get Sensitive To The Mind
Realise that every thought you think is going to manifest if not cancelled out with the opposite thought. So watch out for the thought you dwell on… Drop the ones that don’t serve you.
Dwell on the things you want to create.
Step 3: Know That You Are Powerful
This isn’t about wishing, hoping or daydreaming… That is what keeps us stuck.
This is about embracing the fact that what you hold in mind is what you create – so hold it in mind and expect that it will happen.
Gold Nugget Activator
Keep quiet – when we have to find words to explain what we want, we end up muddling things up and justifying… and doubting.
Just hold in mind what you want, and forget about convincing anyone else of what you are doing.
And If You Succeed?
If you can do this – not only will you master your goals, you will become massively more productive – because you’re not battling against your own thoughts and doubts all the time.
You’ll feel freer, because you’re taking control of your own mind. It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.
Imagine that person you think you might be if you didn’t have all the mind chatter and doubts, right now.
That could be you, in actuality, in a surprisingly short space of time.
Over To You… Try This Now
So right now, leave me a comment, and tell me exactly what you choose to produce in your business or work…
If you didn’t have the limitations that have up until now been holding you back, what would your life be like right now?
To Your Inevitable Success,
Laura Leigh Clarke
a.k.a. the Whole Heart, Whole Brain Business Mentor
Wire Yourself for Wealth
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen
Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
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The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?
Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.
In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
Success Advice
11 Mark Manson Lessons That’ll Redefine Success in the Digital Age
Success in the digital age isn’t about hacks, it’s about the raw, real lessons Mark Manson actually lives by.
In 2016, Mark Manson released The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, a brutally honest, thought-provoking book that redefined self-help for a new generation. (more…)
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