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Success Advice

How To Think, To Get What You Want

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Think Your Way To Success - How To Think To Be Successful

You’ve probably experienced this at least one time in your life already.

You meet someone who is incredibly successful and then discover they are the same age as you… (or younger!)

Or you bump into an old school friend and they have everything you’ve ever wanted. Or maybe you’ve been reading something in the media and learn about ANOTHER successful entrepreneur hitting the jackpot with an idea you’ve kicked around in the past – and you wish that it could have been you.

And it’s not like you’re short of ideas.

It’s not like you’re not driven and inspired.

It also not as if you don’t work hard, either.

So what is it?

What is it that makes the difference between those people who thrive and ALWAYS seem to get what they want, and those who struggle forever, never quite making the big time?

Well the answer is pretty straight forward really. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. This is what takes us out of the game…

The truth about creating what you want in your world all comes down to your thoughts.

 

Successful People Think Only About What They Want

Think about it: when you have something important coming up where you want everything to go perfectly, you’ve probably also had the tendency to go through all the things that could possibly go wrong in your head. And without realising it, this very act isn’t giving you scope for a contingency plan, as you may assume… It’s actually increasing the chances of it all going wrong.

And if you do have a tendency to do this on some level – you are not alone.

Often in introductory coaching sessions I ask people what they want, and often they’ll spend a lot of time and energy telling me what they *don’t* want.

We all spend a huge amount of time, thinking about what could go wrong, pushing against it to try to will it not to happen, and fighting the outcomes that we don’t want…

And sure, we don’t want to have bad stuff happen to us, so it’s good to take reasonable precautions. But always thinking the thoughts of what we don’t want, actually pulls them into our experience.

Let me say that again… because this is important:

Thinking about what we don’t want actually makes it more likely to happen! ReTweet This

 

And then there are your subconscious thoughts too, i.e. all the thoughts that you’re not looking at! These also count towards what is created in reality.

Most of the time what we’re creating, we’re not doing it consciously… so whatever is in our subconscious is what shows up in our world… namely our fears and frustrations. Have you ever noticed how once one bad thing happens, and you dwell on those negative thoughts, something else bad happens?

And if you have a mixture of thoughts, what you end up creating is a hotch-potch  of the sum total of them.

But it’s not your fault.

 

We’re Not In Control Of Our Thinking

The root cause of the problem is that most of us, most of the time, are not in control of our own thinking. We are at the mercy of programmes (the thinking habits) we’ve been running since childhood… And what is worse, we’re completely unaware of them.

Sure, maybe we’re aware on some intellectual level that we create and re-create the same situations again and again. If we have problems with our work colleagues, then moving jobs probably isn’t going to solve the problem, because we’ll still take all our programmes about victimization with us…

Maybe you’ve seen this with your relationships too?

People tend to date the same person again and again, only each time it’s a difference face with a different name. At the very least you may have noticed it with someone close to you, if not yourself. 😉

And these programmes also keep us believing we are small.

They keep us thinking that we are at the mercy of our own internal baggage.

We believe that because we are the way we are we can’t change our internal wiring. Or any change we do eventually manage to make has to be slow and hard work.

We think thoughts habitually that keep us doubting. In fact, most of us are on a loop about what we think is possible – we have an idea of something we want to do, but we then have a number of reasons why we can’t do it, and then each time we think the thought about the thing we’d like to do, we practice the reasons why we can’t again and again, until we have boxed ourselves in with our own limiting ideas.

But there is a way out of this.

There is a way of taking control of your thinking so that you can unpick these limitations and live a bigger life.

 

The Hard Pill: You Are Creating All The Time

You mind is a creative machine – whatever thought you think, at some point will show up in your material world… unless you undo the thought or immediately think the opposite.

And this is a scary concept what with all the myriad of thoughts that slosh around our heads every second of every single day! To take on board that they are having a direct effect on our live in a tangible way is really quite a bitter pill to swallow at first.

But the only way we are going to be able to rock out this success that we lust after is if we are able to take complete and total responsibility for everything we are creating in our world – the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you like what you’re creating, then great. Keep thinking those thoughts that are creating it.

But if there are things you would rather have differently, think only the thoughts of what you want to have, and take complete responsibility for having made it like that in the first place.

Now, sometimes this cause and effect relationship between our thoughts and our experience is hard to see…

It takes a smart, aware individual to be open to the possibility… and if this is the first time you’re reading something like this, you’ll probably have to read it many more times in other places to truly be able to live it and see the Truth in it.

But that’s ok…

All learning at this level is experiential – and it’s ok to take your time to experience this for yourself and prove it to yourself rather than just accept this concept as an intellectual “theory”.

Theory does nothing to change a life.

Theory means nothing until you can apply it in practice.

So let’s talk about how you can actually use these insights to make real change in the degree of success you create…

 

How To Create What You *Actually* Want

…and not what you don’t want.

 

Step 1: You’re On The Hook!

Now that you know this, you will find yourself automatically stepping up and becoming more powerful in what you can produce. You’re now on the hook for everything that happens in your world now

But this is great news. Because it puts you back in the driving seat.

If you created something (good or bad) you have the control over it to either create it again, or completely un-create it. It’s a good place to be. But you get there by taking responsibility for everything that shows up in your world.

 

Step 2: Get Sensitive To The Mind

Realise that every thought you think is going to manifest if not cancelled out with the opposite thought. So watch out for the thought you dwell on… Drop the ones that don’t serve you.

Dwell on the things you want to create.

 

Step 3: Know That You Are Powerful

This isn’t about wishing, hoping or daydreaming… That is what keeps us stuck.

This is about embracing the fact that what you hold in mind is what you create – so hold it in mind and expect that it will happen.

 

Gold Nugget Activator

Keep quiet – when we have to find words to explain what we want, we end up muddling things up and justifying… and doubting.

Just hold in mind what you want, and forget about convincing anyone else of what you are doing.

 

And If You Succeed?

If you can do this – not only will you master your goals, you will become massively more productive – because you’re not battling against your own thoughts and doubts all the time.

You’ll feel freer, because you’re taking control of your own mind. It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.

Imagine that person you think you might be if you didn’t have all the mind chatter and doubts, right now.

That could be you, in actuality, in a surprisingly short space of time.

 

Over To You… Try This Now

So right now, leave me a comment, and tell me exactly what you choose to produce in your business or work…

If you didn’t have the limitations that have up until now been holding you back, what would your life be like right now?

 

To Your Inevitable Success,

Laura Leigh Clarke

a.k.a. the Whole Heart, Whole Brain Business Mentor

Wire Yourself for Wealth

 

Laura Leigh Clarke is the unorthodox Business Coach, Recovering Quantum Physicist, Founder of ProsperityQM, Geek and a die-hard Doctor Who fan. She also helps people clear their money blocks and limiting beliefs so they can manifest the life and business they really want. Download Your Tool Kit for Making a Quantum Shift in Your Business, and watch your results explode!

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191 Comments

191 Comments

  1. rhonda townsend

    Oct 18, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    I loved your article looking forward for more god bless you and thank you much.

  2. Shmuel Cerqueira

    Feb 10, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    This article is exactly what i have been trying achieve. Good reminder to keep my thoughts where i want them to manifest in real life.

    I have had many friends in the past,but i do not waste my time sharing my plans because they would hold me back. The most recent best friend is from Georgia. He is probably the person who was holding me back the most because we did not share the same values. At this moment I am looking for new friend who will actually help me grow in life because i have a lot to learn ahead of me. I am 29 years old and i know i have missed opportunities of making true friends but because of my lack of confidence I missed the opportunity. Although today i understand, and hope in faith that the right day will come where my life will move forward.

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 10:50 am

      Dear Shmuel,

      I could actually feel how u must be thinking at this age and the friends who pulled you down, I, myself is 29 years old and had taken quite many rebellious decisions in my life. but till today, I hv’nt regretted about my single decision as yet. Yes, many times energy gets low but i still gets myself on track. you can connect me if you are looking for a new friend in your life….
      have fun and keep enjoying life… 🙂
      thanks

  3. Sheenkhay

    Feb 6, 2015 at 10:21 am

    id like to have less emotional clutter in my life and a free space from negative people cause thats all holding me back .. thanx

  4. Olukemi

    Jan 30, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Am starting out fresh in importation business. It seem difficult or will I say complex with a lot of things to learn and become successful but at the same time some discouragement along the way. But with this article I will focus on what I stand to gain and be successful. Thanks for the write up

  5. marjan

    Jan 30, 2015 at 9:49 am

    thank you so much,i hope to be a good and successful person in my life and help people

  6. Shahzeeb

    Jan 27, 2015 at 8:10 am

    thankyou for this i really think i got the hold of whats causing all the wrongs in my life.. thanx again:)

  7. Tufail Cheema

    Jan 11, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Great idea although not new. Excellently explained. Impressed and trying to impliment. Liegh keep it up it. All your articled are great.

  8. Nilesh Parakh

    Dec 16, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    I want to earn $ 10,00,000’s till the end of this month.

  9. Jasmine

    Dec 12, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    I choose to believe that everything that hasn’t happened for me, up to this moment, has been because of my own doubt and fear. I will choose to believe, moving forward, that I can take control of my thoughts and choose to listen to and create thoughts that will help me create positive action. There will be moments where I will feel as if I’m not moving forward but I will choose to create an alternative thought that says yes I am moving forward; I just need to continue to push forward in order to break through the emotional and mental negativity.

  10. Anthony

    Nov 28, 2014 at 4:03 am

    Laura your writing is very good. I plan to create peace of mind for myself and those around me. I plan to create favorable deals for my manufacturing agreements. Both in my favor and their favor, A win win. I plan to create a self sustaining business, with me there or not. I plan to have financial freedom created from my very first deal by creating as much value as I can. What I need is a boost of confidence, the knowing that I’m worth every penny I ask for. What insight do you have for my directional purpose?

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 11:00 am

      Dear Anthony,

      your vision is clear and thats very good. You just need to invest more time in building relationships with like minded, clear objective people like you. People who gets motivated, and share same visions as yours can only make a self sustaining business for you. Spend more time with people more successful than you and you will understand more effective ways used by them for greater success.
      Do contact me if I could be of any help.
      thanks

  11. Ram

    Nov 14, 2014 at 9:41 am

    Read a very important article for my life . Thanks to Laura Leigh Clarke . I packed up with lot of negative thoughts in my mind which should not suppose to happen . But it did happen!!! I know I have to stop thinking those thoughts but my mind doesnt listen to it. I just want to get rid of it. I have to place WHAT I WANT in my life as the highest priority in my mind. And your article did open that thought in my mind. I will take this article as a start-up and will practise it.

    Expecting your next article 🙂

    Picked up a important quote from your article .

    “It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.”

    Well said.

    But how much time it will take to control our mind is my question. How hard I have to practise.

    Answers for your question :

    1. I would want to quit my software job and start a good business. I keep on thinking of it.

    2. would be a good business man

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 11:19 am

      hey Ram,

      Good to read your views.
      Its really very difficult to set any particular time to control your mind and thoughts coming in it, neither you can practice hard to control it. Set some peaceful time with yourself in morning and night and concentrate on your inhaling and exhaling of your breaths, this technique will help you visualize the kind of thoughts emerging in your mind. and than you can start thinking the kind of life you want for yourself, make images of your thinking and regular practice will help you in forming a positive mindset and clear images for better life.

      Also, if you really want to start a business, than start part time along with your job, it will actually help you in building the foundations strong for yourself without getting into big risk.
      Connect me if you want more discussion over it.
      Thanks

  12. mattocastter

    Nov 14, 2014 at 2:37 am

    Hi,
    I believe in this concept, and I have been successful to a point with it, but I always run into this sort of dead-end: How does one even begin to think about something they want when that thing is totally foreign to them? For example, a business owner, or entrepreneur…. If we have never been exposed to or surrounded by people whom have successfully achieved this, and we have never ourselves – how do we know what it is we want when we tell ourselves “to be a business owner”? Something like that is so vague, that there are no specifics to focus on. It’s just a pie in the sky way of thinking and so vague that all the other things that are stereotypically associated with it (wealth, travel, whatever) may actually be subliminally distracting us from what the true definition is, while at the same time we will never understand what that true definition is!? Isn’t this a bit of a paradox? I’m sure once the first hurdle is overcome, this type of thinking becomes exponentially easier but…. for now… how can I tell myself that I want something when I have no clue what that even means? Hope that makes sense….

  13. varsha

    Jul 16, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Hello ,
    I really don’t know how it works but most of the time whatever positive we think it always happens the opposite. I have always been a firm believer in positive things but it seems whatever has to happen willl happen.Definitely few things can be corrected by your thinking process. but still a question to me …how ?

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jul 17, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Hi Varsha – from what you’re describing it sounds like when you’re trying to think of the positive you’re actually worrying about what you don’t want. It’s tricky to do straight off the bat, but you need to re-orientate your focus onto what you actually want. Have a look at this webinar

      http://www.wireyourselfforwealth.com/mentoring-group/

      and you’ll see what you can do about weeding out the unwanted thoughts, worries and doubts.

      Let me know how you get on…

      L 🙂

  14. danielnoergaard

    Jun 13, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Hi I’m Daniel 28 years old from Denmark

    This is a fantastic article.

    I know all of this stuff, and yet I don’t seem to do the things 🙂 Don’t know if i’m stupid or blind.. What I do know is that I WANT my thoughts to be different from what they have been up until now.
    So I’m really glad that I got reminded once again through this article, that I’m only limited to the limit of my own thoughts/belief.

    If it wasn’t for my internal stop, chatter, doubts, and disbelief, I would have been a millionare by now, living the lifestyle that I want, have the time and money to do the things that I love when I want it, live where I want, drive what I want, eat what I want, and most importantly It wouldnt matter what others think of me, because I would know that all I did was the right thing and the things that made me happy.

    I’ve had alot of NOT believing in and distrusting my self, and ALOT of the “wrong” thoughts about what I’m truly capable of, I KNOW that it’s all about the programming that I’ve adopted from the people around me and from my childhood.
    At the same time I firmly believe that I was put into this world for a reason, and when I leave this earth I will have made myself proud by achieving all that my heart desires, and helped 1000’s of people to do the same, and for that to happen I need to change.
    I feel like I just need to make a tiny small change to really break out of where I am and toward all dreams goals and achievements.

    Maybe this is what I need I think it is 🙂

    What I will produce is alot of wealth for me and MANY others. I will reach the highest paid position in my network marketing company within the next 4 years, and that means, I have to help AT LEAST 6 other people to massive success, which ofcourse will lead to others having significant success and so fourth down to the individuals having small successes, and I’m looking forward to that journey.

    Thank you

    Laura

    My very best
    Daniel Noergaard

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 15, 2014 at 9:27 am

      Hey Daniel – great to hear from you!

      It’s tricky when we first get going, and it just takes practice – firstly to be always aware of how our thoughts create our reality, and then to intervene so we consciously create what we want. If you head over to my website there are some resources to help you to let go of the “wrong” thoughts you mention… Leaving it easier to choose the thoughts you want to think.

      Love the new thought goals you’ve chosen. Keep us posted on how you get on!

      warmest
      Laura 🙂

      • palak sachdeva

        Jun 28, 2014 at 12:44 pm

        Hey , I am going through a strange thing wherein i am totally unhappy and dissatisfied with my job, its my first job and its been only a month but i dont feel i can do this because i dont like the work i am doing, i feel stuck and helpless.

        Palak

        • mjpskwally

          Jun 30, 2014 at 3:27 pm

          Hey Palak,

          I was in your exact situation at my first real job. You probably feel like you deserve so much more…and you definitely do deserve more. From experience, I did eventually move up the totem pole. But, as my job title got a little more important, and my paycheck got bigger and bigger, I would find new problems to complain about. For instance, this executive is an a-hole, or, the office politics, or the corporate policy that says you can have an excused absence for only “immediate” family members that die.

          My advice to you is to make peace with your current working situation and trust that your future is full of abundance and potential. With in this peace, also begin searching for your passion. Forget about all of the superficial illusions of success like, money and power, and focus on what will ultimately bring you fulfillment. From there I have faith that you will find freedom.

          Set your intentions and make it happen!

          Love,
          Mike

    • Kintu Jr

      Nov 13, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you for being open minded. Am looking forward to working in partnership with such like minded people like you.

    • Ruwani

      Nov 13, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      great goal Daniel

  15. Rua Matiu

    Jun 13, 2014 at 8:24 am

    To build a family business that my kids can walk in do that they dont have to work for some one else traveling around the world creating life time memories with my 7 kids to leave a legacy behind for my kids and their children to talk about a millionaire helping more people

  16. The Acorsteam

    Jun 12, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Laura,

    This was a very well written article, and like many of the people who read this or any other business success book Thinking Positive is a huge contributor to success. Ever since I was little I’ve enjoyed building things and have wanted to be a real estate developer. When I graduated college the market crashed and I got into real estate sales to make a living. Throughout the last two years I have been battling with myself and the mindset of “There is no way I can get into development,” but over the last few months I have been working with a client on a parcel of land they are trying to get rezoned to sell to a developer. Being part of this process, my mindset has slowly been changing to YES I can do this. I AM going to do this, and I AM going to be successful at it. I’ve hit a ton of road blocks and I’m sure there will be a lot more, but I know I am going to succeed at this. This whole mind shift, even though it’s been small and gradual has changed everything about me. I’m happy, motivated, and focused again instead of just going through the motions.

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      Wow – great to hear about the change you’ve been going through! Awesome to hear you’re on track and motivated again. Great job! 🙂

  17. Ronda Luft

    Jun 12, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    I want a career as an inspirational speaker that enables me to have an organization for young unwed mothers and survivors of sexual abuse. I want to empower these women with positive thinking so they can change their life.

  18. bjm1522

    Jun 12, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    This article really hit home for me, I have come a long way as a person in the past few years and it was all in how I thought. I am a firm believer in self – improvement. If you try to be a better you every single day then you will achieve anything and everything you want out of life. I was a frail, skinny pale kid all through school and I was picked on and I let it get to me. I began to distance myself from people and suddenly my biggest fear was people in general. Then one day I changed the way I thought. It took a lot of time and practice but I have so much motivation that I know I am going to do great things. A quote I made myself, or maybe someone else has said it before.. I am not sure. But it really reflects what I have learned from life. “Your greatest FEAR, just might be your greatest PASSION.” I feared other people, but my passion is helping and inspiring other people. I love reading things like this! So thank you so much for the article. 🙂

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      Hey you’re welcome bim! Love that quote: “Your greatest FEAR, just might be your greatest PASSION.” Thanks for sharing 🙂

  19. Amy

    Jun 12, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    First location at work to hit the 1500 milestone

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Go for it Amy!

      • Dan

        Oct 6, 2014 at 6:27 am

        I have difficulty in believing in the merits of positive thoughts. Every time in my life that ive failed,I beleived and expected I was going to succeed.So the positive thoughts clearly didn’t work.
        Mostly i’ve come to conclusion that succesfull people usually dont work even half as hard, or persist anywhere near as long as less successful people.In my life Ive worked extraordinarily long and hard, taken advice from the best of the best, and persisted much longer than the other people I see around who have succeeded in a similar endeavour, only to come up with dismal results.Even after exhausting every avenue there often seems to be not even a trace of progressing in the right direction, no glimmer of promise to be seen.
        What can explain that persisting in all the right ways, doing all the things that worked for other people, yet never even getting a faint trace of the outcomes that they get?
        It seems other people get good outcomes without question or fail in every thing that they do,no matter how much or little they work at it.People say that successfull people had to persist to overcome failure, yet if you really examine other peoples works, you find successfull people invariably have good results right from the very earliest of their attempts.I see little evidence of the persistence of successfull people.Nothing they ever do has particularly bad outcomes,regardless of how much or little effort they put in.
        And if you can never do well at things, how do you convince yourself that you are capable,assuming that this belief can actually make any difference?

        • Laura Leigh Clarke

          Oct 7, 2014 at 9:53 am

          Hi Dan, it sounds as though the problem is your underlying beliefs and thought patterns.

          If those are in opposition to the “positive” thought you are holding, then of course you’re not going to get the outcome you’d rather choose.

          I’d have a look at this webinar as it includes a method for combating just this problem:
          http://www.wireyourselfforwealth.com/mentoring-group/

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Success Advice

Why Smart People Think Beyond Reason to Make Powerful Decisions

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decision making
Image Credit: Unsplash

How long has it been since you’ve had a tough decision to make at work? I bet it happens regularly, if it is not on a daily basis. Sure, making decisions can be exhilarating, but it can also be draining. Sometimes dreadful.

Your pulse accelerates, you start to sweat, your mind jumps from one point to the next, hoping to settle on something. You really want to make the right decision for you, for your team, for your organization. But often times, it can be a tough call. You wish you had the perfect step-by-step recipe to get to the right decision.

Well, in fact, decision-making is quite a complex process for everyone. So much that it is a very popular topic in management research.

For decades, academics have observed and interviewed successful senior leaders to understand and model the thought process that take them to the right decision. These studies resulted in the inescapable rational process. Which we are all very aware of.But what if there was a better way to make decisions that doesn’t just rely on rational thinking?

The problem with rational thinking

rational thinking

We are trained from an early age to develop our rational abilities. We are taught to systematically gather the relevant data, to analyze it, to design options and evaluate them, until we make the final decision. It is as a slow process requiring conscious and sustained effort. Our rational thinking make progress step by step and draws a logical conclusion. And that’s great. Indispensable.

I couldn’t agree more. I hold a Bachelor of Mathematics, and a scientific Master’s degree in Management. My natural preference is rational thinking. However, I must admit that rational thinking can be wrong. Or jammed, unable to decide.

I mean, do you always have enough time to gather data, analyze, evaluate options and decide? Do you always have all the data that is necessary? Does it sometimes happen, on the contrary, that you have so much data that it is overwhelming and you can no longer distinguish the forest from the trees? What if there was another way?

Rational thinking is not your only option

rational thinking

Senior leaders realize, and researchers have found out, that all decisions are not, or are not only, based on rational thinking. Decision-making also leverages … intuitive thinking. Smart leaders consider their intuitions — in addition to their rational analysis — when making decisions.

And the truth is, leaders consider their intuitions — in addition to their rational analysis — when making decisions:

“90% of the 60 leaders who participated in a study reported using their intuition in combination with rational data analysis. They found that their decisions were accelerated, and were better.” (Burke, Miller, 1999)

“Managers at the top of every [of the 2000] organizations surveyed scored higher than middle or lower-level managers on their ability to use their intuition to guide their key decisions.” (Agor, 1986)

This is a well-kept secret, isn’t it? I bet you rarely hear someone at work trying to convince you that this decision is better because his instinct says so. We would rather emphasize the extensive research and analysis we have done to give credibility to our decision.

However, it doesn’t mean that intuition is not instrumental to the process. So, let me explain what intuition is, exactly.

How intuition helps you reach the right decisions

intuition

Neuroscience understands that the human brain thinks in two different ways. There’s the rational process, as described above, and the intuitive process. The latter is not esoteric, magical, nor is it about a premonition.

Intuitions are the conclusions that spontaneously raise to your consciousness, without you being aware of the intermediate stages — although it is often possible to justify your intuition after the fact.

Imagine meeting someone for the first time. Within a blink of the eye, you have an opinion of the person. That’s an intuition. And, contrarily to reason, intuition is incredibly fast. Intuitions are conveyed to your consciousness by your emotions. The first thing that comes to mind is the feelings you have for this person. You like or dislike, you trust or you don’t.

Rather than dissecting information, the intuitive process of the brain makes connections almost instantaneously based on your experiences. By analogy and association, it synthesizes and jumps to conclusions. Beneath the surface, when you meet this person for the first time, your brain finds similarities with people you’ve known in the past, and concludes.

Intuition is thus essentially based on the knowledge accumulated through your experiences, all too often forgotten, and on the models of the world that you have created for yourself, of which you are often not aware of. You may or may not realize that this person in front of you reminds you of the type of people you don’t trust, as an example.

In fact, because it is spontaneous and effortless, intuition is the way of thinking that drives the majority of the decisions you make in a day. If the stakes are not high, intuition will prevail, it is so much easier and efficient. Whether you are conscious of it or not. Whether you like it or not.

Here are a few examples:

  • You slow down your car in traffic, because you instinctively understand that the car on the other lane is trying to cut you off.
  • You pick clothes in your closet that feel comfortable if you don’t have an official meeting today. You don’t need to rationally think over your choice.
  • You accept an invitation without hesitation because it feels exciting and you have time. No need for some complex thinking here either.

Does that mean you should always listen to your intuition?

listen to your intuition

Now, is this to say that your intuition is always right? Sorry, it is not the case. The quality of your intuitions depends on the quality of the knowledge you hold, and thus of your learning.

In fact, as you are getting experienced in your job, as you face numerous situations and overcome challenges, you develop mental models on the appropriate ways to react. That’s called expert intuition. It explains why senior people can make decision swiftly, without hesitation, and without a long rational process.

Your expertise may not only be related to your job. You can also be an expert in human relations, for example. If you have always been fascinated by people, and an avid observer of good and not-so-good interactions, you may intuitively know how to react with difficult people or situations.

However, a word of caution. Intuition can also tap into your biases and your fears. In those occasions, intuition could be wrong, and it is really difficult to tell when this happens. Intuitions, at the end of the day, are no more no less than assumptions. That’s why engaging both rational thinking and intuitive thinking is so important.

How smart people use intuition to make the best decisions

using your intuition

Let’s say you are in a restaurant. You read the menu, and choose one food rather than another according to how you feel about it. It is then your intuitive process that intervenes, without real awareness of what leads you to that choice.

That being said, if you are following a particular diet, you may rule out your initial choice. You can be the impartial observer of your feelings. You can decide to slow down for a second and have your rational thinking intervene to choose more proper food for you. You have a veto power over your intuitions.

The same holds true for decisions made in a professional context, even for the most rational of us. You have intuitions, and you have rational thoughts.

Let me ask you a question: When you have a decision to make, how would you describe your typical thought process?

  1. You spontaneously have a feeling of what the right decision is, and then you engage your rational thinking to confirm whether or not your intuition is right. That is called strategic intuition.
  2. You first collect data, you analyze it, you evaluate your options, you make a rational decision and then you stop for a moment to perceive how you feel about the decision. That’s called conclusive intuition.

Strategic intuition and conclusive intuition are both efficient. But it speaks to your natural preference, and to the level of experience you hold. The more experience, the more mental models you developed over time, and the easiest it is for your brain to make connections and associations, and thus generate intuitions.

In both instances, integrating intuition and reason increases dramatically the potential for you to make the right decision.

Intuition is really an assumption your brain makes based on your experience. Relying solely on your intuition could be risky, unless you don’t have the time to analyze the situation rationally — for example, in the middle of a heated discussion, or a particularly stressful situation.

Depending solely on your reason is also suboptimal. Your brain has the capacity to detect information beneath the surface which could have a crucial impact on your decision. Ignoring it could lead you to the wrong conclusion.

The more you navigate between the two processes, the more knowledge you tap into, the better the decisions, and the more you can adapt to circumstances. You can decide how much you rely on one or the other — or both. It is a matter of choice, and practice.

Make the best use of your brain’s powers to make smart decisions

brain power

Imagine that going forward, you listen to the little voice inside of you, in addition to proceeding systematically, rationally.

Imagine that going forward, you navigate between your reason and your intuition. You dig deeper into your feelings, the voice of your intuition, and challenge your reason. Similarly, you observe impartially feelings that arise, take a step back, and apply your veto if you know better.

Navigating between your reason and your intuition, you tap into the knowledge you are aware of at a conscious level, and also into the wisdom you hold beneath the surface. Chances are that you will make better informed decisions, even if time is short, data is insufficient, or contradictory.

As a senior leader once told me:This will make the difference between a potential of success, and an assured failure.

References:

This article is based on the research I performed for my Master’s thesis (2017). The full bibliography includes over 100 articles and books, of which:

BURKE, Lisa A., MILLER, Monica K., Taking the mystery out of intuitive decision-making Academy of Management Executive, Vol. 13, №4, p. 91–98, New York, Academy of Management, 1999

AGOR, Weston H., The Logic of Intuition: How Top Executives Make Important Decisions, Organizational Dynamics, Vol. 14, №3, p. 5–18, Amsterdam, Elsevier, 1986

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Success Advice

5 B.S. Facts About High Performers Everyone Thinks Is True

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high performers
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High performers are often seen in the world as people who set their mind on something and make it happen regardless of what it takes to get it accomplished. Much of the time that may be true. However, the way high performers are seen in the world is often in direct conflict with the way they behave when people aren’t watching. Even though they are seen as amazing experts and masters to others, they often see themselves as in need of improvement and can feel dissatisfied with the results they have achieved.

Despite how they appear, they are not much different than you or me with one exception. High performers are totally committed to what it is that they are doing. They function within the uncertainty of daily life just as you do but they conquer their limitations differently. Whether the odds are stacked with them or against them, a high performer will be totally committed to reaching their goals.

You may even be a high performer yourself and don’t realize it because some of your habits would not be considered high level ones. It is common for individuals to compare their accomplishments to others based on what we observe as their results.

“Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.” – Nelson Mandela

In fact, you may have lowered your personal bar of excellence because you thought you didn’t measure up to those that always seem to land at the top no matter what. I think you’d be surprised to learn that many very successful high performers don’t function the way you think they do.

Here are 5 B.S. facts about high performers that everyone thinks is true:

B.S. Fact #1 – Perfection is the way they play their game

You would think that in order to appear perfect you would probably need to do everything perfectly. It’s so not true! High performers actually pursue excellence as a goal and not perfection. It allows them to get more done with a higher level of consistency and sets them up for success rather than failure.

B.S. Fact #2 – Organization is their secret weapon

Just take a look at the desk of a genius. You probably wouldn’t be able to see the surface beneath the stacks of books, papers and whatever else may be on top of it. High performers typically have a formula as to where they put things and why. To the observer, it’s usually just a big mess with no identifiable system. However, I assure you, a high performer will still know where everything is regardless of the chaos that surrounds their personal space and schedule.

B.S. Fact #3 – They’ve all walked Ivy League hallways

Though it is true that many well educated people reach great success, statistically, some of the most influential success stories are about people who lacked resources and education. High performers will always seek out whatever or whoever is available so that they can learn what they need to and create their vision despite whatever odds happen to be stacked against them.

B.S. Fact #4 – They don’t have squirrel brain

Focus. It seems like this would be the number one rule to follow on the road to results.  However, there are many high performers who get distracted by people and ideas that totally derail them from what they were doing. Often times, it is not their focus but their agenda that keeps them on track. They know what they need to do even if it doesn’t always get accomplished in the way they thought they would get it done. However, it always gets done.

“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.” – Robert H. Schuller

B.S. Fact #5 – They see themselves as the king of the jungle

Confidence seems to pour out of those who always seem to succeed. When, in reality, so many high performers struggle with it. Questioning whether or not they’re doing the right things or whether what they’re doing is good enough can be a constant personal dialogue. Fear of being negatively judged is the biggest reason why most people don’t take chances or take action on their big dreams but high performers move forward anyway. Their insecurity doesn’t stop them from what they want.

So, why should it matter to you what is fact or fiction about high performers? The answer; because you will compare yourself to others at times and it would be a tragedy if you stopped yourself from achieving big goals due to a belief that you’re not as good as someone else.

High performers achieve results. They know what they want, they plan it and they achieve it. Just because you have a few habits that won’t get applauded if people actually knew about them doesn’t mean that you can’t be one of the experts or podium finishers too.

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Success Advice

Do You Want to Become a Leader? Read This First

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leadership
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How do you become an adult in a society that doesn’t ask for sacrifice? How do you become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage? The test of leadership isn’t done on the couch, discussing things with internet trolls and commentators. Leadership, like philosophy, is action-based and can’t be separated from that into a purely theoretical field.

To become a leader, it isn’t enough to read about it, you need to live through it. That leads us to the first point.

1. Experience trumps theory

Theory and practice are the same in theory, but they are not the same in practice. For you to become a leader, you need to put yourself in situations which demand leadership. If you are at home trying really hard to think about situations where leadership is required and can’t find a place where that can happen, you are not thinking about the problems in your life and community.

Leadership is about going through uncertainty while showing people a better way. So any area of life where there is uncertainty is an area where there is a possibility for leadership to emerge.

You don’t have to lead a company of 10,000 employees to experience leadership, you can do it in a local community of 5 people or as I did in a leadership organization with 200 people. But leadership doesn’t start with leading other people, it starts with leading yourself.

“Leadership is practice not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.” – Harold S. Geneen

2. To lead others, you must learn to lead yourself

Telling other people what they need to do is “easy.” Showing the way yourself is a hundred times harder. Because what you do speaks so loud that people can’t hear what you’re saying. In other words, leadership is about having personal integrity and practicing what you preach. You would never follow the advice of a fat personal trainer, a broke accountant, or a real estate agent who doesn’t even own a dog house.

You either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. But the thing is that this is easier said than done. I remember when we had a crisis in our team back in 2013. Every single person from the team quit, leaving the president and me alone to fight the battle. My integrity of not quitting didn’t let me walk away and we kept pushing together.

That’s what leadership is about – you need to walk the talk. Because to lead yourself and to lead others, you need to make decisions which follow up your integrity. That leads us to the third point.

3. Leadership is about making the right, painful decisions

If you choose easy decisions, your life will be hard. If you choose hard decisions, your life will be easy. And there are numerous decisions which leaders did in the past which have been hard at the moment. But when you’re a leader, you don’t make decisions on a scale of easy-hard, you make them on a scale of right-wrong.

Firing the VP of sales is always hard. But doing it because he violated the principles of the company makes it right. It’s a trade-off 90% of people are not willing to make and I see it day in, day out. As soon as a decision becomes hard, people start doubting their values, morals, and integrity. They let the fear of uncertainty cloud their judgments and they make an easy call.

They let the VP stay because it’s the easy thing to do and with that, they seal their fate. Leadership is painful and it always was. I remember when I had to let 20 people go or fire two of my VPs. Was it hard? Of course it was. But it was the right thing to do. This doesn’t make the decision any easier, but it makes it bearable.

You know where you need to lead people and even though there is massive uncertainty, you need to be certain that you will figure out any problem that comes in front of you. Which brings us to the last point.

“Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Followers think and talk about the problems.” – Brian Tracy

4. You need to have unyielding faith that you will prevail in the end

You don’t need to know every step of the way, but you need to know how you will react to problems. You need to be sure, absolutely, that you will deal, manage, and handle every single problem that comes your way and that your team and people who you lead are unstoppable on their way to achieving the vision.

This is unquestionable. You have no idea what will attack you, but you are certain that you will handle it. This is how you lead people through everything in life. This is how Shackleton led his expedition for 2 years on the Antarctic and how every single one of his people survived the hardships that attacked them.

Because people turn to the leader in face of trouble and that’s when you show your true face. Do you show your weak side, flounder, and run? Or do you stand strong like a supporting rock on which people can lean on?

When you deal with fire, you will learn how to defeat it without having your people get burned. You will sacrifice yourself and gain scars which don’t serve as a sign of victimhood but as a proof of courage. Are you gonna be courageous or are you gonna run away? There is only one way to find out.

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Success Advice

This Is Why Most People Give Up On Their Dreams — I Plead With You Not To Become One Of Them.

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We all have a dream even if we haven’t realized it yet. It could be something as simple as raising a family, or it might be more extreme like winning an Olympic gold medal.

No matter the dream, most people give up on their dream.

I’m pleading with you not to be one of those people. You can achieve your dream when you understand why people give up in the first place.

Here’s why most people give up on their dreams:


They failed once before.

Many people try something once and when they fail, they give up. That’s because nobody tells you that achieving your dream doesn’t happen the first time around.

You have to try and try again until you reach your goal.
The problem is it’s easy to try once, fail, and then say “I already tried and I didn’t win.”

We give in so easily because the upside is a life of excuses.

We give in because we can live through the heroes of our favorite Netflix show.

We give in because in some ways there is a reward. Giving up gives you permission to sit on the couch, eat junk food, be angry at the world on social media and sleep in your nice warm bed

The problem is that this life sucks. You’ll get tired of it. One day you’ll want to chase your dream again, but you might be old, frail and full of regrets.

I’m pleading with you not to choose this option.


They got told no.

You don’t need permission — remember that. You are going to get told no hundreds of times in your life. With every dream you have, there’s going to be some fat, lazy slob that’s going to be standing in your way.”

Push through these people — flubber and all. Don’t let someone else’s laziness or issues with your dream stop you.

Ignore the no and get right back to it. Ask them again. Ask someone else.

Ideally, don’t ask them at all. I never asked to be a blogger I just did it. Certain publications turned me down and I kept writing.

Not everyone understands your gifts or potential and that’s fine. The main point here is that you understand.

I’m pleading with you to not give up because of a no. Make the no your motivation instead.


They don’t see failure for what it is.

Failure is nothing more than the inevitable education that any person who achieves their dream goes through.

Failure is so important that I personally like to pay money for it. I wish there was a shop or course I could do that would guarantee me failure instead of success. I want you to want the failure because that’s where all the answers are.

Once you know what doesn’t work, you’ll have a path forward. Change the word failure into education.

I’m pleading with you to fall in love with failure and not to give up on your dream.


Boredom strikes like thunder.

Everyone gets bored. I watched a documentary where Usain Bolt was training for the Olympics and even he admitted that he got bored after he won a few gold medals.

Boredom is normal, but it’s why a lot of people give up on their dreams.

It’s in the moments of boredom that you give your mind a chance to rest. Doing nothing and being lazy for a few hours can often bring a spark of creativity. No one is motivated 100% of the time — not even me.

It’s up to you to add some variety into your day, so you don’t get stuck in boredom forever.

Boredom can also be a good sign as well. It can be a sign that you need to change your approach or do things in a new way.

I’m pleading with you not to be afraid of boredom. Use boredom to your advantage.


They stop believing in themselves.

Your dreams are not easy (obviously). The rejection, failure and setbacks you’ll achieve can bring you down. What messes people’s dreams up is they stop believing in themselves.

Everything starts to fall over when you don’t believe in yourselfYou have to believe you can do it before anyone else will buy into that idea. The challenge is that you’re going to need help to achieve your dreams. You can’t do it alone.

You’ll never get that help unless you can get people to believe what you believe.

I’m pleading with you to believe in yourself no matter what. You have this dream for a reason and you can do it.


They are stuck on one strategy.

Many people live their entire life based on one strategy or one arbitrage. They refuse to change and so eventually the environment around them changes which affects their ability to reach their dream.

If you’re set in your ways and won’t change your approach, you’ll probably fail. We all imagine how our dream should look yet sometimes the reality is different.

You have to be open to change. In my experience, my original dream looked much different and I’m glad it’s changed. Changes to your dream are for the better.

I’m pleading with you to be open-minded.


They are surrounded by an army of morons.

If everyone around you is telling you you’re an idiot and they don’t respect your dream for what it is, this will have a negative impact on you whether you like it or not.

Run away from the dream killers who are making up for their own broken dreams and surround yourself with people who support you

The best people are the ones that support you but don’t always agree with you. Even better are the ones that support you and challenge your thinking. 
I’m pleading with you to reassess the people around you.


They want security.

No dream comes with an insurance policy or a set path. People are afraid to take risks and want reassurances when they pursue their dream.

There are none. Dreams are made off the back of taking calculated and clever risks most of the time. If you want someone to guarantee your dream, then it ain’t going to happen.

It’s the unpredictability that makes dreams addictive, delicious and worth the effort. Not knowing is what our mind craves — we just don’t know it. If we knew how our dream turned out, we wouldn’t be as excited.

I’m pleading with you to take a risk or two.


They refuse to be disciplined.

Nothing worth achieving can be done without discipline. There’s work involved and that has to be scheduled and executed upon.

I’ve written every single week since 2014. That takes bloody discipline.

My discipline reflects my results in the blogging world. The same applies to your own dream.

Block out chunks of your calendar and get to work. If you’re not doing at least one small thing towards your dream every day, then you’re heading in the wrong direction.

I’m pleading you to put in regular work towards your dream.


The greener grass syndrome.

Another reason we give up is not because we’re lazy necessarily but because we failed and there is a better option. That’s what our mind tells us.

I didn’t fail; I just found something better,” you say to yourself.

Well, that’s the sad truth.

“Changing your idea of success consistently is not the answer. At some point, you need to decide to chase one dream and quit the ADHD dream chasing the average person chases. You’re better than that”

Worrying about what everybody else is doing and then chasing their dreams is ridiculous.

I’m pleading with you not to fall for this lie. The grass is not greener it just requires more work than you anticipated.


Final thought.

Please, please, please don’t give up on your dream. You’re closer than you think. You just need to stand back and think about a few of the points I’ve mentioned.

Broken dreams have birthed so many broken people.

It doesn’t have to be that way. See your dream for what it is: Something special that you can achieve if you put your mind to it, focus and be excited by the possibilities.

Don’t give up on your dream.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

Why Smart People Think Beyond Reason to Make Powerful Decisions

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decision making
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How long has it been since you’ve had a tough decision to make at work? I bet it happens regularly, if it is not on a daily basis. Sure, making decisions can be exhilarating, but it can also be draining. Sometimes dreadful.

Your pulse accelerates, you start to sweat, your mind jumps from one point to the next, hoping to settle on something. You really want to make the right decision for you, for your team, for your organization. But often times, it can be a tough call. You wish you had the perfect step-by-step recipe to get to the right decision. (more…)

Ginette Gagnon is a certified Team Performance Coach and holds a Masters in Management from Montreal, Canada. She works with entrepreneurs, high-potential executives and management teams around the world making her clients athletes in their respective professional discipline.

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191 Comments

191 Comments

  1. rhonda townsend

    Oct 18, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    I loved your article looking forward for more god bless you and thank you much.

  2. Shmuel Cerqueira

    Feb 10, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    This article is exactly what i have been trying achieve. Good reminder to keep my thoughts where i want them to manifest in real life.

    I have had many friends in the past,but i do not waste my time sharing my plans because they would hold me back. The most recent best friend is from Georgia. He is probably the person who was holding me back the most because we did not share the same values. At this moment I am looking for new friend who will actually help me grow in life because i have a lot to learn ahead of me. I am 29 years old and i know i have missed opportunities of making true friends but because of my lack of confidence I missed the opportunity. Although today i understand, and hope in faith that the right day will come where my life will move forward.

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 10:50 am

      Dear Shmuel,

      I could actually feel how u must be thinking at this age and the friends who pulled you down, I, myself is 29 years old and had taken quite many rebellious decisions in my life. but till today, I hv’nt regretted about my single decision as yet. Yes, many times energy gets low but i still gets myself on track. you can connect me if you are looking for a new friend in your life….
      have fun and keep enjoying life… 🙂
      thanks

  3. Sheenkhay

    Feb 6, 2015 at 10:21 am

    id like to have less emotional clutter in my life and a free space from negative people cause thats all holding me back .. thanx

  4. Olukemi

    Jan 30, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Am starting out fresh in importation business. It seem difficult or will I say complex with a lot of things to learn and become successful but at the same time some discouragement along the way. But with this article I will focus on what I stand to gain and be successful. Thanks for the write up

  5. marjan

    Jan 30, 2015 at 9:49 am

    thank you so much,i hope to be a good and successful person in my life and help people

  6. Shahzeeb

    Jan 27, 2015 at 8:10 am

    thankyou for this i really think i got the hold of whats causing all the wrongs in my life.. thanx again:)

  7. Tufail Cheema

    Jan 11, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Great idea although not new. Excellently explained. Impressed and trying to impliment. Liegh keep it up it. All your articled are great.

  8. Nilesh Parakh

    Dec 16, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    I want to earn $ 10,00,000’s till the end of this month.

  9. Jasmine

    Dec 12, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    I choose to believe that everything that hasn’t happened for me, up to this moment, has been because of my own doubt and fear. I will choose to believe, moving forward, that I can take control of my thoughts and choose to listen to and create thoughts that will help me create positive action. There will be moments where I will feel as if I’m not moving forward but I will choose to create an alternative thought that says yes I am moving forward; I just need to continue to push forward in order to break through the emotional and mental negativity.

  10. Anthony

    Nov 28, 2014 at 4:03 am

    Laura your writing is very good. I plan to create peace of mind for myself and those around me. I plan to create favorable deals for my manufacturing agreements. Both in my favor and their favor, A win win. I plan to create a self sustaining business, with me there or not. I plan to have financial freedom created from my very first deal by creating as much value as I can. What I need is a boost of confidence, the knowing that I’m worth every penny I ask for. What insight do you have for my directional purpose?

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 11:00 am

      Dear Anthony,

      your vision is clear and thats very good. You just need to invest more time in building relationships with like minded, clear objective people like you. People who gets motivated, and share same visions as yours can only make a self sustaining business for you. Spend more time with people more successful than you and you will understand more effective ways used by them for greater success.
      Do contact me if I could be of any help.
      thanks

  11. Ram

    Nov 14, 2014 at 9:41 am

    Read a very important article for my life . Thanks to Laura Leigh Clarke . I packed up with lot of negative thoughts in my mind which should not suppose to happen . But it did happen!!! I know I have to stop thinking those thoughts but my mind doesnt listen to it. I just want to get rid of it. I have to place WHAT I WANT in my life as the highest priority in my mind. And your article did open that thought in my mind. I will take this article as a start-up and will practise it.

    Expecting your next article 🙂

    Picked up a important quote from your article .

    “It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.”

    Well said.

    But how much time it will take to control our mind is my question. How hard I have to practise.

    Answers for your question :

    1. I would want to quit my software job and start a good business. I keep on thinking of it.

    2. would be a good business man

    • Gaurav Jalan

      Mar 12, 2015 at 11:19 am

      hey Ram,

      Good to read your views.
      Its really very difficult to set any particular time to control your mind and thoughts coming in it, neither you can practice hard to control it. Set some peaceful time with yourself in morning and night and concentrate on your inhaling and exhaling of your breaths, this technique will help you visualize the kind of thoughts emerging in your mind. and than you can start thinking the kind of life you want for yourself, make images of your thinking and regular practice will help you in forming a positive mindset and clear images for better life.

      Also, if you really want to start a business, than start part time along with your job, it will actually help you in building the foundations strong for yourself without getting into big risk.
      Connect me if you want more discussion over it.
      Thanks

  12. mattocastter

    Nov 14, 2014 at 2:37 am

    Hi,
    I believe in this concept, and I have been successful to a point with it, but I always run into this sort of dead-end: How does one even begin to think about something they want when that thing is totally foreign to them? For example, a business owner, or entrepreneur…. If we have never been exposed to or surrounded by people whom have successfully achieved this, and we have never ourselves – how do we know what it is we want when we tell ourselves “to be a business owner”? Something like that is so vague, that there are no specifics to focus on. It’s just a pie in the sky way of thinking and so vague that all the other things that are stereotypically associated with it (wealth, travel, whatever) may actually be subliminally distracting us from what the true definition is, while at the same time we will never understand what that true definition is!? Isn’t this a bit of a paradox? I’m sure once the first hurdle is overcome, this type of thinking becomes exponentially easier but…. for now… how can I tell myself that I want something when I have no clue what that even means? Hope that makes sense….

  13. varsha

    Jul 16, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Hello ,
    I really don’t know how it works but most of the time whatever positive we think it always happens the opposite. I have always been a firm believer in positive things but it seems whatever has to happen willl happen.Definitely few things can be corrected by your thinking process. but still a question to me …how ?

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jul 17, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Hi Varsha – from what you’re describing it sounds like when you’re trying to think of the positive you’re actually worrying about what you don’t want. It’s tricky to do straight off the bat, but you need to re-orientate your focus onto what you actually want. Have a look at this webinar

      http://www.wireyourselfforwealth.com/mentoring-group/

      and you’ll see what you can do about weeding out the unwanted thoughts, worries and doubts.

      Let me know how you get on…

      L 🙂

  14. danielnoergaard

    Jun 13, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Hi I’m Daniel 28 years old from Denmark

    This is a fantastic article.

    I know all of this stuff, and yet I don’t seem to do the things 🙂 Don’t know if i’m stupid or blind.. What I do know is that I WANT my thoughts to be different from what they have been up until now.
    So I’m really glad that I got reminded once again through this article, that I’m only limited to the limit of my own thoughts/belief.

    If it wasn’t for my internal stop, chatter, doubts, and disbelief, I would have been a millionare by now, living the lifestyle that I want, have the time and money to do the things that I love when I want it, live where I want, drive what I want, eat what I want, and most importantly It wouldnt matter what others think of me, because I would know that all I did was the right thing and the things that made me happy.

    I’ve had alot of NOT believing in and distrusting my self, and ALOT of the “wrong” thoughts about what I’m truly capable of, I KNOW that it’s all about the programming that I’ve adopted from the people around me and from my childhood.
    At the same time I firmly believe that I was put into this world for a reason, and when I leave this earth I will have made myself proud by achieving all that my heart desires, and helped 1000’s of people to do the same, and for that to happen I need to change.
    I feel like I just need to make a tiny small change to really break out of where I am and toward all dreams goals and achievements.

    Maybe this is what I need I think it is 🙂

    What I will produce is alot of wealth for me and MANY others. I will reach the highest paid position in my network marketing company within the next 4 years, and that means, I have to help AT LEAST 6 other people to massive success, which ofcourse will lead to others having significant success and so fourth down to the individuals having small successes, and I’m looking forward to that journey.

    Thank you

    Laura

    My very best
    Daniel Noergaard

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 15, 2014 at 9:27 am

      Hey Daniel – great to hear from you!

      It’s tricky when we first get going, and it just takes practice – firstly to be always aware of how our thoughts create our reality, and then to intervene so we consciously create what we want. If you head over to my website there are some resources to help you to let go of the “wrong” thoughts you mention… Leaving it easier to choose the thoughts you want to think.

      Love the new thought goals you’ve chosen. Keep us posted on how you get on!

      warmest
      Laura 🙂

      • palak sachdeva

        Jun 28, 2014 at 12:44 pm

        Hey , I am going through a strange thing wherein i am totally unhappy and dissatisfied with my job, its my first job and its been only a month but i dont feel i can do this because i dont like the work i am doing, i feel stuck and helpless.

        Palak

        • mjpskwally

          Jun 30, 2014 at 3:27 pm

          Hey Palak,

          I was in your exact situation at my first real job. You probably feel like you deserve so much more…and you definitely do deserve more. From experience, I did eventually move up the totem pole. But, as my job title got a little more important, and my paycheck got bigger and bigger, I would find new problems to complain about. For instance, this executive is an a-hole, or, the office politics, or the corporate policy that says you can have an excused absence for only “immediate” family members that die.

          My advice to you is to make peace with your current working situation and trust that your future is full of abundance and potential. With in this peace, also begin searching for your passion. Forget about all of the superficial illusions of success like, money and power, and focus on what will ultimately bring you fulfillment. From there I have faith that you will find freedom.

          Set your intentions and make it happen!

          Love,
          Mike

    • Kintu Jr

      Nov 13, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you for being open minded. Am looking forward to working in partnership with such like minded people like you.

    • Ruwani

      Nov 13, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      great goal Daniel

  15. Rua Matiu

    Jun 13, 2014 at 8:24 am

    To build a family business that my kids can walk in do that they dont have to work for some one else traveling around the world creating life time memories with my 7 kids to leave a legacy behind for my kids and their children to talk about a millionaire helping more people

  16. The Acorsteam

    Jun 12, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Laura,

    This was a very well written article, and like many of the people who read this or any other business success book Thinking Positive is a huge contributor to success. Ever since I was little I’ve enjoyed building things and have wanted to be a real estate developer. When I graduated college the market crashed and I got into real estate sales to make a living. Throughout the last two years I have been battling with myself and the mindset of “There is no way I can get into development,” but over the last few months I have been working with a client on a parcel of land they are trying to get rezoned to sell to a developer. Being part of this process, my mindset has slowly been changing to YES I can do this. I AM going to do this, and I AM going to be successful at it. I’ve hit a ton of road blocks and I’m sure there will be a lot more, but I know I am going to succeed at this. This whole mind shift, even though it’s been small and gradual has changed everything about me. I’m happy, motivated, and focused again instead of just going through the motions.

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      Wow – great to hear about the change you’ve been going through! Awesome to hear you’re on track and motivated again. Great job! 🙂

  17. Ronda Luft

    Jun 12, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    I want a career as an inspirational speaker that enables me to have an organization for young unwed mothers and survivors of sexual abuse. I want to empower these women with positive thinking so they can change their life.

  18. bjm1522

    Jun 12, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    This article really hit home for me, I have come a long way as a person in the past few years and it was all in how I thought. I am a firm believer in self – improvement. If you try to be a better you every single day then you will achieve anything and everything you want out of life. I was a frail, skinny pale kid all through school and I was picked on and I let it get to me. I began to distance myself from people and suddenly my biggest fear was people in general. Then one day I changed the way I thought. It took a lot of time and practice but I have so much motivation that I know I am going to do great things. A quote I made myself, or maybe someone else has said it before.. I am not sure. But it really reflects what I have learned from life. “Your greatest FEAR, just might be your greatest PASSION.” I feared other people, but my passion is helping and inspiring other people. I love reading things like this! So thank you so much for the article. 🙂

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      Hey you’re welcome bim! Love that quote: “Your greatest FEAR, just might be your greatest PASSION.” Thanks for sharing 🙂

  19. Amy

    Jun 12, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    First location at work to hit the 1500 milestone

    • Laura Leigh Clarke

      Jun 13, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Go for it Amy!

      • Dan

        Oct 6, 2014 at 6:27 am

        I have difficulty in believing in the merits of positive thoughts. Every time in my life that ive failed,I beleived and expected I was going to succeed.So the positive thoughts clearly didn’t work.
        Mostly i’ve come to conclusion that succesfull people usually dont work even half as hard, or persist anywhere near as long as less successful people.In my life Ive worked extraordinarily long and hard, taken advice from the best of the best, and persisted much longer than the other people I see around who have succeeded in a similar endeavour, only to come up with dismal results.Even after exhausting every avenue there often seems to be not even a trace of progressing in the right direction, no glimmer of promise to be seen.
        What can explain that persisting in all the right ways, doing all the things that worked for other people, yet never even getting a faint trace of the outcomes that they get?
        It seems other people get good outcomes without question or fail in every thing that they do,no matter how much or little they work at it.People say that successfull people had to persist to overcome failure, yet if you really examine other peoples works, you find successfull people invariably have good results right from the very earliest of their attempts.I see little evidence of the persistence of successfull people.Nothing they ever do has particularly bad outcomes,regardless of how much or little effort they put in.
        And if you can never do well at things, how do you convince yourself that you are capable,assuming that this belief can actually make any difference?

        • Laura Leigh Clarke

          Oct 7, 2014 at 9:53 am

          Hi Dan, it sounds as though the problem is your underlying beliefs and thought patterns.

          If those are in opposition to the “positive” thought you are holding, then of course you’re not going to get the outcome you’d rather choose.

          I’d have a look at this webinar as it includes a method for combating just this problem:
          http://www.wireyourselfforwealth.com/mentoring-group/

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Success Advice

Why Smart People Think Beyond Reason to Make Powerful Decisions

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decision making
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How long has it been since you’ve had a tough decision to make at work? I bet it happens regularly, if it is not on a daily basis. Sure, making decisions can be exhilarating, but it can also be draining. Sometimes dreadful.

Your pulse accelerates, you start to sweat, your mind jumps from one point to the next, hoping to settle on something. You really want to make the right decision for you, for your team, for your organization. But often times, it can be a tough call. You wish you had the perfect step-by-step recipe to get to the right decision.

Well, in fact, decision-making is quite a complex process for everyone. So much that it is a very popular topic in management research.

For decades, academics have observed and interviewed successful senior leaders to understand and model the thought process that take them to the right decision. These studies resulted in the inescapable rational process. Which we are all very aware of.But what if there was a better way to make decisions that doesn’t just rely on rational thinking?

The problem with rational thinking

rational thinking

We are trained from an early age to develop our rational abilities. We are taught to systematically gather the relevant data, to analyze it, to design options and evaluate them, until we make the final decision. It is as a slow process requiring conscious and sustained effort. Our rational thinking make progress step by step and draws a logical conclusion. And that’s great. Indispensable.

I couldn’t agree more. I hold a Bachelor of Mathematics, and a scientific Master’s degree in Management. My natural preference is rational thinking. However, I must admit that rational thinking can be wrong. Or jammed, unable to decide.

I mean, do you always have enough time to gather data, analyze, evaluate options and decide? Do you always have all the data that is necessary? Does it sometimes happen, on the contrary, that you have so much data that it is overwhelming and you can no longer distinguish the forest from the trees? What if there was another way?

Rational thinking is not your only option

rational thinking

Senior leaders realize, and researchers have found out, that all decisions are not, or are not only, based on rational thinking. Decision-making also leverages … intuitive thinking. Smart leaders consider their intuitions — in addition to their rational analysis — when making decisions.

And the truth is, leaders consider their intuitions — in addition to their rational analysis — when making decisions:

“90% of the 60 leaders who participated in a study reported using their intuition in combination with rational data analysis. They found that their decisions were accelerated, and were better.” (Burke, Miller, 1999)

“Managers at the top of every [of the 2000] organizations surveyed scored higher than middle or lower-level managers on their ability to use their intuition to guide their key decisions.” (Agor, 1986)

This is a well-kept secret, isn’t it? I bet you rarely hear someone at work trying to convince you that this decision is better because his instinct says so. We would rather emphasize the extensive research and analysis we have done to give credibility to our decision.

However, it doesn’t mean that intuition is not instrumental to the process. So, let me explain what intuition is, exactly.

How intuition helps you reach the right decisions

intuition

Neuroscience understands that the human brain thinks in two different ways. There’s the rational process, as described above, and the intuitive process. The latter is not esoteric, magical, nor is it about a premonition.

Intuitions are the conclusions that spontaneously raise to your consciousness, without you being aware of the intermediate stages — although it is often possible to justify your intuition after the fact.

Imagine meeting someone for the first time. Within a blink of the eye, you have an opinion of the person. That’s an intuition. And, contrarily to reason, intuition is incredibly fast. Intuitions are conveyed to your consciousness by your emotions. The first thing that comes to mind is the feelings you have for this person. You like or dislike, you trust or you don’t.

Rather than dissecting information, the intuitive process of the brain makes connections almost instantaneously based on your experiences. By analogy and association, it synthesizes and jumps to conclusions. Beneath the surface, when you meet this person for the first time, your brain finds similarities with people you’ve known in the past, and concludes.

Intuition is thus essentially based on the knowledge accumulated through your experiences, all too often forgotten, and on the models of the world that you have created for yourself, of which you are often not aware of. You may or may not realize that this person in front of you reminds you of the type of people you don’t trust, as an example.

In fact, because it is spontaneous and effortless, intuition is the way of thinking that drives the majority of the decisions you make in a day. If the stakes are not high, intuition will prevail, it is so much easier and efficient. Whether you are conscious of it or not. Whether you like it or not.

Here are a few examples:

  • You slow down your car in traffic, because you instinctively understand that the car on the other lane is trying to cut you off.
  • You pick clothes in your closet that feel comfortable if you don’t have an official meeting today. You don’t need to rationally think over your choice.
  • You accept an invitation without hesitation because it feels exciting and you have time. No need for some complex thinking here either.

Does that mean you should always listen to your intuition?

listen to your intuition

Now, is this to say that your intuition is always right? Sorry, it is not the case. The quality of your intuitions depends on the quality of the knowledge you hold, and thus of your learning.

In fact, as you are getting experienced in your job, as you face numerous situations and overcome challenges, you develop mental models on the appropriate ways to react. That’s called expert intuition. It explains why senior people can make decision swiftly, without hesitation, and without a long rational process.

Your expertise may not only be related to your job. You can also be an expert in human relations, for example. If you have always been fascinated by people, and an avid observer of good and not-so-good interactions, you may intuitively know how to react with difficult people or situations.

However, a word of caution. Intuition can also tap into your biases and your fears. In those occasions, intuition could be wrong, and it is really difficult to tell when this happens. Intuitions, at the end of the day, are no more no less than assumptions. That’s why engaging both rational thinking and intuitive thinking is so important.

How smart people use intuition to make the best decisions

using your intuition

Let’s say you are in a restaurant. You read the menu, and choose one food rather than another according to how you feel about it. It is then your intuitive process that intervenes, without real awareness of what leads you to that choice.

That being said, if you are following a particular diet, you may rule out your initial choice. You can be the impartial observer of your feelings. You can decide to slow down for a second and have your rational thinking intervene to choose more proper food for you. You have a veto power over your intuitions.

The same holds true for decisions made in a professional context, even for the most rational of us. You have intuitions, and you have rational thoughts.

Let me ask you a question: When you have a decision to make, how would you describe your typical thought process?

  1. You spontaneously have a feeling of what the right decision is, and then you engage your rational thinking to confirm whether or not your intuition is right. That is called strategic intuition.
  2. You first collect data, you analyze it, you evaluate your options, you make a rational decision and then you stop for a moment to perceive how you feel about the decision. That’s called conclusive intuition.

Strategic intuition and conclusive intuition are both efficient. But it speaks to your natural preference, and to the level of experience you hold. The more experience, the more mental models you developed over time, and the easiest it is for your brain to make connections and associations, and thus generate intuitions.

In both instances, integrating intuition and reason increases dramatically the potential for you to make the right decision.

Intuition is really an assumption your brain makes based on your experience. Relying solely on your intuition could be risky, unless you don’t have the time to analyze the situation rationally — for example, in the middle of a heated discussion, or a particularly stressful situation.

Depending solely on your reason is also suboptimal. Your brain has the capacity to detect information beneath the surface which could have a crucial impact on your decision. Ignoring it could lead you to the wrong conclusion.

The more you navigate between the two processes, the more knowledge you tap into, the better the decisions, and the more you can adapt to circumstances. You can decide how much you rely on one or the other — or both. It is a matter of choice, and practice.

Make the best use of your brain’s powers to make smart decisions

brain power

Imagine that going forward, you listen to the little voice inside of you, in addition to proceeding systematically, rationally.

Imagine that going forward, you navigate between your reason and your intuition. You dig deeper into your feelings, the voice of your intuition, and challenge your reason. Similarly, you observe impartially feelings that arise, take a step back, and apply your veto if you know better.

Navigating between your reason and your intuition, you tap into the knowledge you are aware of at a conscious level, and also into the wisdom you hold beneath the surface. Chances are that you will make better informed decisions, even if time is short, data is insufficient, or contradictory.

As a senior leader once told me:This will make the difference between a potential of success, and an assured failure.

References:

This article is based on the research I performed for my Master’s thesis (2017). The full bibliography includes over 100 articles and books, of which:

BURKE, Lisa A., MILLER, Monica K., Taking the mystery out of intuitive decision-making Academy of Management Executive, Vol. 13, №4, p. 91–98, New York, Academy of Management, 1999

AGOR, Weston H., The Logic of Intuition: How Top Executives Make Important Decisions, Organizational Dynamics, Vol. 14, №3, p. 5–18, Amsterdam, Elsevier, 1986

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Success Advice

5 B.S. Facts About High Performers Everyone Thinks Is True

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high performers
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High performers are often seen in the world as people who set their mind on something and make it happen regardless of what it takes to get it accomplished. Much of the time that may be true. However, the way high performers are seen in the world is often in direct conflict with the way they behave when people aren’t watching. Even though they are seen as amazing experts and masters to others, they often see themselves as in need of improvement and can feel dissatisfied with the results they have achieved.

Despite how they appear, they are not much different than you or me with one exception. High performers are totally committed to what it is that they are doing. They function within the uncertainty of daily life just as you do but they conquer their limitations differently. Whether the odds are stacked with them or against them, a high performer will be totally committed to reaching their goals.

You may even be a high performer yourself and don’t realize it because some of your habits would not be considered high level ones. It is common for individuals to compare their accomplishments to others based on what we observe as their results.

“Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.” – Nelson Mandela

In fact, you may have lowered your personal bar of excellence because you thought you didn’t measure up to those that always seem to land at the top no matter what. I think you’d be surprised to learn that many very successful high performers don’t function the way you think they do.

Here are 5 B.S. facts about high performers that everyone thinks is true:

B.S. Fact #1 – Perfection is the way they play their game

You would think that in order to appear perfect you would probably need to do everything perfectly. It’s so not true! High performers actually pursue excellence as a goal and not perfection. It allows them to get more done with a higher level of consistency and sets them up for success rather than failure.

B.S. Fact #2 – Organization is their secret weapon

Just take a look at the desk of a genius. You probably wouldn’t be able to see the surface beneath the stacks of books, papers and whatever else may be on top of it. High performers typically have a formula as to where they put things and why. To the observer, it’s usually just a big mess with no identifiable system. However, I assure you, a high performer will still know where everything is regardless of the chaos that surrounds their personal space and schedule.

B.S. Fact #3 – They’ve all walked Ivy League hallways

Though it is true that many well educated people reach great success, statistically, some of the most influential success stories are about people who lacked resources and education. High performers will always seek out whatever or whoever is available so that they can learn what they need to and create their vision despite whatever odds happen to be stacked against them.

B.S. Fact #4 – They don’t have squirrel brain

Focus. It seems like this would be the number one rule to follow on the road to results.  However, there are many high performers who get distracted by people and ideas that totally derail them from what they were doing. Often times, it is not their focus but their agenda that keeps them on track. They know what they need to do even if it doesn’t always get accomplished in the way they thought they would get it done. However, it always gets done.

“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.” – Robert H. Schuller

B.S. Fact #5 – They see themselves as the king of the jungle

Confidence seems to pour out of those who always seem to succeed. When, in reality, so many high performers struggle with it. Questioning whether or not they’re doing the right things or whether what they’re doing is good enough can be a constant personal dialogue. Fear of being negatively judged is the biggest reason why most people don’t take chances or take action on their big dreams but high performers move forward anyway. Their insecurity doesn’t stop them from what they want.

So, why should it matter to you what is fact or fiction about high performers? The answer; because you will compare yourself to others at times and it would be a tragedy if you stopped yourself from achieving big goals due to a belief that you’re not as good as someone else.

High performers achieve results. They know what they want, they plan it and they achieve it. Just because you have a few habits that won’t get applauded if people actually knew about them doesn’t mean that you can’t be one of the experts or podium finishers too.

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Success Advice

Do You Want to Become a Leader? Read This First

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leadership
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How do you become an adult in a society that doesn’t ask for sacrifice? How do you become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage? The test of leadership isn’t done on the couch, discussing things with internet trolls and commentators. Leadership, like philosophy, is action-based and can’t be separated from that into a purely theoretical field.

To become a leader, it isn’t enough to read about it, you need to live through it. That leads us to the first point.

1. Experience trumps theory

Theory and practice are the same in theory, but they are not the same in practice. For you to become a leader, you need to put yourself in situations which demand leadership. If you are at home trying really hard to think about situations where leadership is required and can’t find a place where that can happen, you are not thinking about the problems in your life and community.

Leadership is about going through uncertainty while showing people a better way. So any area of life where there is uncertainty is an area where there is a possibility for leadership to emerge.

You don’t have to lead a company of 10,000 employees to experience leadership, you can do it in a local community of 5 people or as I did in a leadership organization with 200 people. But leadership doesn’t start with leading other people, it starts with leading yourself.

“Leadership is practice not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.” – Harold S. Geneen

2. To lead others, you must learn to lead yourself

Telling other people what they need to do is “easy.” Showing the way yourself is a hundred times harder. Because what you do speaks so loud that people can’t hear what you’re saying. In other words, leadership is about having personal integrity and practicing what you preach. You would never follow the advice of a fat personal trainer, a broke accountant, or a real estate agent who doesn’t even own a dog house.

You either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. But the thing is that this is easier said than done. I remember when we had a crisis in our team back in 2013. Every single person from the team quit, leaving the president and me alone to fight the battle. My integrity of not quitting didn’t let me walk away and we kept pushing together.

That’s what leadership is about – you need to walk the talk. Because to lead yourself and to lead others, you need to make decisions which follow up your integrity. That leads us to the third point.

3. Leadership is about making the right, painful decisions

If you choose easy decisions, your life will be hard. If you choose hard decisions, your life will be easy. And there are numerous decisions which leaders did in the past which have been hard at the moment. But when you’re a leader, you don’t make decisions on a scale of easy-hard, you make them on a scale of right-wrong.

Firing the VP of sales is always hard. But doing it because he violated the principles of the company makes it right. It’s a trade-off 90% of people are not willing to make and I see it day in, day out. As soon as a decision becomes hard, people start doubting their values, morals, and integrity. They let the fear of uncertainty cloud their judgments and they make an easy call.

They let the VP stay because it’s the easy thing to do and with that, they seal their fate. Leadership is painful and it always was. I remember when I had to let 20 people go or fire two of my VPs. Was it hard? Of course it was. But it was the right thing to do. This doesn’t make the decision any easier, but it makes it bearable.

You know where you need to lead people and even though there is massive uncertainty, you need to be certain that you will figure out any problem that comes in front of you. Which brings us to the last point.

“Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Followers think and talk about the problems.” – Brian Tracy

4. You need to have unyielding faith that you will prevail in the end

You don’t need to know every step of the way, but you need to know how you will react to problems. You need to be sure, absolutely, that you will deal, manage, and handle every single problem that comes your way and that your team and people who you lead are unstoppable on their way to achieving the vision.

This is unquestionable. You have no idea what will attack you, but you are certain that you will handle it. This is how you lead people through everything in life. This is how Shackleton led his expedition for 2 years on the Antarctic and how every single one of his people survived the hardships that attacked them.

Because people turn to the leader in face of trouble and that’s when you show your true face. Do you show your weak side, flounder, and run? Or do you stand strong like a supporting rock on which people can lean on?

When you deal with fire, you will learn how to defeat it without having your people get burned. You will sacrifice yourself and gain scars which don’t serve as a sign of victimhood but as a proof of courage. Are you gonna be courageous or are you gonna run away? There is only one way to find out.

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Success Advice

This Is Why Most People Give Up On Their Dreams — I Plead With You Not To Become One Of Them.

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We all have a dream even if we haven’t realized it yet. It could be something as simple as raising a family, or it might be more extreme like winning an Olympic gold medal.

No matter the dream, most people give up on their dream.

I’m pleading with you not to be one of those people. You can achieve your dream when you understand why people give up in the first place.

Here’s why most people give up on their dreams:


They failed once before.

Many people try something once and when they fail, they give up. That’s because nobody tells you that achieving your dream doesn’t happen the first time around.

You have to try and try again until you reach your goal.
The problem is it’s easy to try once, fail, and then say “I already tried and I didn’t win.”

We give in so easily because the upside is a life of excuses.

We give in because we can live through the heroes of our favorite Netflix show.

We give in because in some ways there is a reward. Giving up gives you permission to sit on the couch, eat junk food, be angry at the world on social media and sleep in your nice warm bed

The problem is that this life sucks. You’ll get tired of it. One day you’ll want to chase your dream again, but you might be old, frail and full of regrets.

I’m pleading with you not to choose this option.


They got told no.

You don’t need permission — remember that. You are going to get told no hundreds of times in your life. With every dream you have, there’s going to be some fat, lazy slob that’s going to be standing in your way.”

Push through these people — flubber and all. Don’t let someone else’s laziness or issues with your dream stop you.

Ignore the no and get right back to it. Ask them again. Ask someone else.

Ideally, don’t ask them at all. I never asked to be a blogger I just did it. Certain publications turned me down and I kept writing.

Not everyone understands your gifts or potential and that’s fine. The main point here is that you understand.

I’m pleading with you to not give up because of a no. Make the no your motivation instead.


They don’t see failure for what it is.

Failure is nothing more than the inevitable education that any person who achieves their dream goes through.

Failure is so important that I personally like to pay money for it. I wish there was a shop or course I could do that would guarantee me failure instead of success. I want you to want the failure because that’s where all the answers are.

Once you know what doesn’t work, you’ll have a path forward. Change the word failure into education.

I’m pleading with you to fall in love with failure and not to give up on your dream.


Boredom strikes like thunder.

Everyone gets bored. I watched a documentary where Usain Bolt was training for the Olympics and even he admitted that he got bored after he won a few gold medals.

Boredom is normal, but it’s why a lot of people give up on their dreams.

It’s in the moments of boredom that you give your mind a chance to rest. Doing nothing and being lazy for a few hours can often bring a spark of creativity. No one is motivated 100% of the time — not even me.

It’s up to you to add some variety into your day, so you don’t get stuck in boredom forever.

Boredom can also be a good sign as well. It can be a sign that you need to change your approach or do things in a new way.

I’m pleading with you not to be afraid of boredom. Use boredom to your advantage.


They stop believing in themselves.

Your dreams are not easy (obviously). The rejection, failure and setbacks you’ll achieve can bring you down. What messes people’s dreams up is they stop believing in themselves.

Everything starts to fall over when you don’t believe in yourselfYou have to believe you can do it before anyone else will buy into that idea. The challenge is that you’re going to need help to achieve your dreams. You can’t do it alone.

You’ll never get that help unless you can get people to believe what you believe.

I’m pleading with you to believe in yourself no matter what. You have this dream for a reason and you can do it.


They are stuck on one strategy.

Many people live their entire life based on one strategy or one arbitrage. They refuse to change and so eventually the environment around them changes which affects their ability to reach their dream.

If you’re set in your ways and won’t change your approach, you’ll probably fail. We all imagine how our dream should look yet sometimes the reality is different.

You have to be open to change. In my experience, my original dream looked much different and I’m glad it’s changed. Changes to your dream are for the better.

I’m pleading with you to be open-minded.


They are surrounded by an army of morons.

If everyone around you is telling you you’re an idiot and they don’t respect your dream for what it is, this will have a negative impact on you whether you like it or not.

Run away from the dream killers who are making up for their own broken dreams and surround yourself with people who support you

The best people are the ones that support you but don’t always agree with you. Even better are the ones that support you and challenge your thinking. 
I’m pleading with you to reassess the people around you.


They want security.

No dream comes with an insurance policy or a set path. People are afraid to take risks and want reassurances when they pursue their dream.

There are none. Dreams are made off the back of taking calculated and clever risks most of the time. If you want someone to guarantee your dream, then it ain’t going to happen.

It’s the unpredictability that makes dreams addictive, delicious and worth the effort. Not knowing is what our mind craves — we just don’t know it. If we knew how our dream turned out, we wouldn’t be as excited.

I’m pleading with you to take a risk or two.


They refuse to be disciplined.

Nothing worth achieving can be done without discipline. There’s work involved and that has to be scheduled and executed upon.

I’ve written every single week since 2014. That takes bloody discipline.

My discipline reflects my results in the blogging world. The same applies to your own dream.

Block out chunks of your calendar and get to work. If you’re not doing at least one small thing towards your dream every day, then you’re heading in the wrong direction.

I’m pleading you to put in regular work towards your dream.


The greener grass syndrome.

Another reason we give up is not because we’re lazy necessarily but because we failed and there is a better option. That’s what our mind tells us.

I didn’t fail; I just found something better,” you say to yourself.

Well, that’s the sad truth.

“Changing your idea of success consistently is not the answer. At some point, you need to decide to chase one dream and quit the ADHD dream chasing the average person chases. You’re better than that”

Worrying about what everybody else is doing and then chasing their dreams is ridiculous.

I’m pleading with you not to fall for this lie. The grass is not greener it just requires more work than you anticipated.


Final thought.

Please, please, please don’t give up on your dream. You’re closer than you think. You just need to stand back and think about a few of the points I’ve mentioned.

Broken dreams have birthed so many broken people.

It doesn’t have to be that way. See your dream for what it is: Something special that you can achieve if you put your mind to it, focus and be excited by the possibilities.

Don’t give up on your dream.

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