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Success Advice

Working Hard Isn’t the Answer to True Success but Self Care is

After working hard all my life and bullying myself into doing things, I didn’t get the results I wanted. All I got was more stress

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self care
Image Credit: Midjourney

If you’re like me, at some point in your life, you thought that to be successful, you must work hard and go hard! Maybe you still believe that, and I get you. I mean, how on earth can you be a productive human if you leave yourself off the hook?

That’s a question I struggled with for the longest time. But after working hard all my life and bullying myself into doing things, I didn’t get the results I wanted, all I got was more stress and more things to work hard at. And that wasn’t the result I was looking for because working hard isn’t the answer to true success, but self care is. 

I hoped that after all the hustle, I could eventually catch a break. Instead, I worked until I broke down and then had to start everything all over again, repeatedly. It was exhausting!

I’m not going to lie; I achieved some milestones this way. But I suffered throughout and couldn’t even feel happy for myself. And I don’t think that’s real success. I feel successful when I have fun going after what I want and infuse my days with joy and peacefulness, even when I’m not being productive. 

I’m successful when I rest without feeling guilty and am not afraid of wasting time; I see it as charging my batteries.

The truly successful version of me is a badass who achieves all her goals, but she does all that while taking care of herself so she doesn’t crash and burn now and then. And here’s the best part: she is happy AF while chasing her dreams, not only when and if she gets there.

If you get excited by this approach, you’ll love the top three best self-care strategies for true success I’m sharing with you!

#1 Schedule joy

I know some of you may cringe when you read the words ‘schedule’ and ‘joy’ together, but hear me out: how many times were you so caught up on work or study or maybe lifting your business off the ground that you stopped hanging out with your friends and doing the things that bring you joy?

Some people online preach that you must sacrifice everything and only focus on your goals to be successful, but I say it’s the opposite! Good friends will keep you sane and grounded and reassure you that you’re not alone. 

Doing things that bring you joy will energize you, spark your inspiration, and make you more productive and prone to taking action on your dreams and goals!

So yes, schedule that joy before you get trapped in the busyness, and enjoy being successful and happy!

#2 Practice bringing yourself back to the beauty of the present moment

Most of our stress comes from worrying too much about the future and focusing excessively on the past as if looking for proof of what can go wrong. And we know that’s not very success-friendly, right?

It will only make you nervous, cloud your judgment, and hurt your decision-making ability. I say yes to projecting, visualizing a bright future, and sometimes looking at the past so we don’t repeat the same mistakes. 

But please, always bring yourself to the present moment because it’s in the now that you can do what’s best for you and your goals.

There are many ways to practice being present. You can practice gratitude, mindfulness, and meditation, but I want to share a simple strategy that I love: Mindful alarms!

Grab your phone and set up three to five alarms for different times of the day. On the alarm label, write down a short reminder. It can be ‘Take a deep breath’ or ‘Back to the present moment’ or whatever you want, really. 

Make it yours! The most important thing here is multiple alarms popping up to remind you to be present.

But wait, there’s an extra benefit to this; you’ll check in with yourself throughout the day and automatically release stress and tension! Sounds amazing, right?

#3 Work with your energy levels, not against them

Let’s face it; we all wish we were on our A-game all the time. But that’s simply impossible. We’re human, and the most natural thing is to have our energy fluctuate, especially if we’re women with a cycle.

If you’re driven, I know this probably irritates you a lot. And I’m with you because yeah, it can be very frustrating! But we have got to choose here: We can either fight it, get even more frustrated, make mistakes, and deliver averagely, or embrace it and make it work for us.

Ready to choose option number two?

When working with our energy levels, we can go hard when we feel more energetic and make the most out of our peak times, and when we’re feeling low, honor that and focus on valuable but less demanding tasks.  

I understand this may be challenging for many, especially if you don’t make your own schedule, but I invite you to see it as something to embody rather than implement every second of the day. Instead of pushing yourself to do more and beating yourself up because you’re not at your high-performance level, embrace it. You’re only human.

And have you noticed these days are great for connecting with your intuition and reevaluating things? That is as important, if not more than the going-hard part of success if you ask me.

Here’s how I see success and self-care:

The key to true success is not to focus on the top of the mountain but to ensure you enjoy your way there and have everything necessary to journey comfortably. 

Yes, your feet may still hurt at the end of the day, but you can choose whether to wear uncomfortable shoes and never stop unless you’re about to break down or to put on your best mountain boots and take a break to appreciate the view and rest from time to time.

So remember the three self-care strategies for success: schedule your joy, keep bringing yourself back to the present moment, and work with your energy levels (not against them). You deserve to honor yourself and your needs on your way to success.

Erika Sardinha is an empowerment coach for survivors based in the Canary Islands. Her purpose is to help survivors like her reconnect with themselves, heal, and thrive from the inside out. She offers online courses, private and group coaching, and other services for thriving survivors while providing various free resources to her community. Check Erika's Free Community of badass thriving survivors: Happy Survivors Tribe, and access her 10-minute Guided Tapping Meditation for True Relaxation and Joy!

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