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Why You Shouldn’t Always Rely on Willpower to Be Successful

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We’ve all needed to rely on sheer willpower at some point in our lives to stop us from doing something we don’t really want to. It might be:

  • To not use substances at a social event
  • To not eat chocolate in January when we’re fresh into our new years’ resolutions
  • To not go into the shop and buy the cake that we’ve seen in the window when walking by
  • To say no if we’re offered a cigarette
  • To not do something when our friends are doing it.

The moment we’re faced with a decision – ‘do I or don’t I’, is quite pivotal. A moment where we can strengthen that habitual thought/the urge that is driven by our lower brain, or a moment where we’ve historically drawn on our willpower to not ‘do it’.

What we may have found is that we’ve been able to use our willpower and behave if you like, in the way that we want to or in a way that helps us keep on track with our goals. Of course, this is amazing and it is a true sign of that strength we often don’t give ourselves enough credit for.

My willpower is tested if I know there is chocolate or in particular, biscuits are in the house. I can easily polish off a whole packet of biscuits – dunking two-at-a-time in a hot drink until I’ve eaten them all!! To deal with that, I remind myself how I feel after I’ve eaten them – bloated, lethargic and regretting eating them in that short period of time.

I think it’s more a case that I say to myself – ‘I’m going to enjoy those biscuits’ as opposed to ‘I really shouldn’t eat them, but I will.’ It is also recognising that I most probably hadn’t eaten biscuits for the couple of months previously so, I need to recognise the control I do have.

“Willpower is the basis of perseverance.” – Napoleon Hill

How to stop bad habits

Over a decade I worked with many individuals who used alcohol, drugs, and other substances on a daily basis. One consistent part of my approach was helping people to realise what they had achieved. For example, if someone I was working with had initially been using their substance every single day, we would always spend time recognising the changes that person had made i.e. using the substance once-per-week, or using via a different and safer route. (So that’s 6 days that we haven’t used – what’s the next step now for you?).

This would be similar for a nicotine smoker who had smoked 20 a day for years and has achieved abstinence for 2 months, before a lapse or relapse. There has been a change and it’s important to recognise it. 

If we affirm ourselves, recognise and notice what we are doing as individuals, as opposed to what we’re not doing – this is powerful in itself. Why shouldn’t we be kind to ourselves? We are quite often our biggest critic after all.

Why you shouldn’t solely rely on willpower

In addition to those affirmations that we can give ourselves and show recognition to ourselves, I wanted to spend some time considering willpower. Although it is a great resource for us to draw on – we are not able to rely on it solely.

This is because it’s something that overrides the initial thought; if you like, we draw on it to hijack our initial thinking of let’s say ‘go on just have one more cigarette it’ll sort you out.’ So, in a sense we’re creating an extra layer of thinking to get us out of the problem. In fact, we need less thinking.

This is more likely/more achievable when we are feeling strong but if we’re not feeling so strong in a given situation i.e. feeling hungry, tired or after an extremely challenging day, willpower is the wrong tool to use.

When is willpower helpful?

Willpower is helpful in that we can break habits through being extremely disciplined, drawing on our resourcefulness; quite often though, this can lead to replacing that habit with another habit at some point. Examples that i’ve seen include – 

  •       Swapping cannabis with alcohol
  •       Swapping smoking for eating chocolate
  •       Swapping cocaine for gambling

Willpower is not always possible, particularly if we have habits that always seem compelling to engage with.

“It’s not that some people have the willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” – James Gordon

As I’ve mentioned, when we’re feeling positive and strong, we do have the energy that is required for willpower to be effective. However, as we’re not always feeling strong, the willpower is too inconsistent – we don’t always have the energy for the extra layers of thinking to get ourselves out of a problem.

The more powerful understanding is that the thought we have in the first instance is just a thought. The thought in its entirety will not hurt you, me, or anyone else. It might look like it will, but it won’t.

Isn’t that such a good thing to know? How encouraging for us to know it won’t hurt us – it can’t make us do anything. It is only what we make of the thought, how we relate to it and what energy we give it.

So, using the word will-power again, with the focus on the ‘power’ aspect, there is nothing for us to ‘over-power.’ There is nothing for us to defeat. The thoughts are harmless, they’re formless and they will come and go. 

We don’t need to act, it is an illusion that we think we do need to behave in a particular way. The truth is, we don’t need to do anything – we’re the ones in control. By developing our understanding of our experiences and really seeing how it works, our inner wisdom will come through. That inner voice will guide us to the many other options that we have, not needing to rely on sheer willpower to do the job for us each and every time.

What about this article resonated most with you and why? Share your thoughts with us below!

Dave Knight helps to change lives through a conversation that guides people back towards their innate health and wellbeing. With a background in mental health, addictions, business and sport, his time is being dedicated to educating people through Articles, his Bulletproof Yourself products, 1:1 work with clients; small groups, as well as articles. The focus of the work is to help people feel bulletproof against any area of challenge in their lives.

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Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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