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Success Advice

Why Shopping And Consumerism Is Literally Killing Your Success

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killing your success
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Every week you probably go to the shopping center and shop your way through your valuable spare time. We are taught by society and traditional politics that the more we buy, the more we consume, the happier and more successful we will be. This concept is outdated and needs to be reviewed.

Let me give you a great example. I often like to buy myself a new pair of Nike running shoes. I never really need them but somehow end up buying more pairs than I can wear. I thought about this subconscious decision that I consistently made and realised that the feeling of new shoes only lasted a few days.

After a couple of days, the good feeling the shoes gave me no longer existed. When you think about this scenario carefully I am sure you will come to the same conclusion; buying new things all the time only makes us happy for a short time but not in the long run.

For years, I went out every weekend and brought things that society told me would make me appear successful. I had the flashy car, new suit, expensive watch, nice deodorant, and yet I couldn’t have been more miserable.

Long-term success occurs when we are fulfilled and are achieving our life’s work not when we are shopping.

Below are seven reasons why I believe shopping is killing your success:

 

1. It’s distracting you from your purpose

Whatever your purpose is in life shopping is distracting you from achieving it. Shopping takes up space in your mind that needs to be reserved for important things like how you are going to change the world with your vision.

Shopping causes little impulses in the brain to continuously fire off and take you away from what you should be doing. Your to do list becomes out of control because shopping can take over what your mind perceives to be important. You start thinking to yourself, “I can’t go out tonight, I have worn this shirt before and I need a new pair of shoes.”

You don’t need anything new at all.

“You need to forget about what others think of your possessions and start thinking about the small amount of time you have on this planet to do something that you will be remembered for, long after you are not around anymore to shop like the other zombies”

 

2. It’s taking up your time

Your success is exterminated when you allow time to slip away. Success requires lots of time to achieve the goals necessary to make you fulfilled. From the outside, shopping seems like it doesn’t take a long time, but it does.

Time can be wasted trying items out (like clothes), returning items that are faulty, parking the car in the shopping centres endless car parks, and by eating food at the shopping centre. You’re probably wondering why I brought up food at the shopping centre in relation to time.

The reason is that not only do the bright lights and nice smells at the shopping centre make you shop, they also make you hungry too. This usually results in you eating on of the many junk food options available at the shopping centre which can suck more of your time.

The real time is wasted though until you return home and have no energy left because of all the sugar you consumed while shopping. Typically, you then say to yourself “I’ll have a sleep and then do my to-do list tomorrow.

The problem with this is that tomorrow never comes, and you get distracted with some other useless exercise that won’t help you on your journey of success.

 

3. It’s wasting your precious money supply

The one resource you have that can buy back some of your time is money. Money can allow you to work less and spend more time on your dream. Shopping interrupts this harmony though because it sucks what money you have into useless items you don’t need.Too Much Shopping Kills Your Success

Have you ever walked into a shopping centre to buy one thing and then come out with a whole bunch of stuff you don’t need? It’s happened to all of us. The reason it happens is because the shopping centres are laid out in such a way that they play havoc on your impulses and urges.

If you allow shopping to control you, then your money will go flying out your wallet without you even realising it. This money is what you can use to buy things that help you with your dream like a website or some training in a particular field.

 

4. Addictive traps compound the problem further

Not only does shopping waste your time but the problem is compounded further through addictive traps such as: perceived sales and discounts, and loyalty cards. The first thing to understand is that 90% of the time nothing is on sale and the price has just been marked up to retail, and then discounted back again to the true selling price.

I see some items in the supermarket that are on sales every week. How can that be? Simple, the supermarket has hit their next volume tier in pricing for that particular item, and rather than permanently decreasing the price, they make you feel weekly that it’s on special – it’s not.

Loyalty cards are another doozy. The purpose of a loyalty card is to collect your information and then analyse your spending patterns. Once the shop knows what you are buying, they can increase prices of what consumers buy the most of, and then offer two for one type specials to make you spend more.

You’re smarter than this. Don’t let your brain be manipulated by these very simple, psychological tricks.

 

5. It’s clogging up your house

Without realising it, shopping is clogging up your house with lots of extra stuff you don’t need. Most of the things you buy, statistically speaking, will hardly ever be used. This means that most of the junk in your house is psychologically making you feel stressed, and your mind cluttered.

 

6. It’s creating more housework

Healthy Food Shopping For SuccessAs well as clogging up your house, shopping is making your house messier. The more things you buy, the less space you will have in your home. Your mind will do its best and want you to clean constantly to free up space, but most likely, if you let shopping take over, you will never have the space you need to feel relaxed.

Then, the more items you have in the home, the harder and more time it takes to clean your house. Shopping creates a pattern of failure that you have to avoid at all costs. Go shopping once in a while but reframe from doing it weekly (other than the basic food supplies).

 

7. It’s making you unhappy and ungrateful

As success is sucked away from your life through society’s burden on you with this whole shopping lie, at the same time, you will become unhappier and more ungrateful. When you act from a place of gratitude you feel like you already have everything you need.

You feel like you are lucky to even have a car, which stops you from going and changing your car every five years like most people. The less shopping you do the happier you will start to feel. With shopping, there is no end; you will never have everything you need, or the greatest or latest of every item. That’s the whole game my friends and that’s why you need to avoid the addiction of shopping.

What are your thoughts on shopping? How does what I’ve said make you feel? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Toño

    Jun 2, 2016 at 4:27 am

    You’ve written two great articles recently on the topics which connected with me massively. It’s the theme of travelling and this one, the shopping addiction. That’s right, after I’ve read your points on shopping I can clearly understand it is such an addiction, like the one to coffee, sugar or even something worse. While I was reading I was feeling the strange urge and the sense it is all about myself haha, like you were spying on me haha.

    You made me think on this, Tim and I am already re-viewing my finances and how I can better manage them. Due some events I changed my training system in the Gym that will allow me to save some money and practice even more. And of course new pair of shoes and t-shirts will wait till the moment it will be really necessary to buy.

    I will revisit this article from time to time as a good reminder 😉

    Thank you Tim, for helping me with this one poor habit of mine! Speak to you soon, have a wonderful day!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 3, 2016 at 12:38 am

      Toño I promise you mate that I had no idea you suffered from this shopping addiction 🙂 We’re all humans though and suffer from mostly the same problems in life. All the best with the new gym routine and we’ll chat soon.

    • Stefanie

      Jun 6, 2016 at 6:31 am

      Hi Toño, have you ever asked yourself about the why behind your habit? Which need do you want to fulfill? I think this is a very important point to figure out; otherwise, our subconscious mind will try to find another way to get what it wants. All the best, Stefanie

  2. Stefanie

    May 27, 2016 at 10:07 am

    Hey Tim, what an interesting topic you brought up!
    I agree with you, it’s time consuming! I actually never take the time for shopping clothes, as I’m busy working in and on my business, or take the time for sports or other activities. The last time I bought clothes was in December for a special event, when I was on vacation.

    What I do shop quite often, as I feel nervous when not having them in my house: Food (especially greens and fruits), tea and shower gels which is my association for a short wellness break 🙂

    One way to limit your budget on shopping clothes etc. is following the JARS system from T. Harv Eker. Spend only 10 percent of your net income on joyful stuff each month. Activities such as joining a yoga class or having tasty food in a beautiful restaurant will also create a greater experience than shopping for the mind, I think.

    • Tim Denning

      May 27, 2016 at 9:39 pm

      Thanks Stefanie. I am the same I never have time to shop because I am busy working on and executing on my vision. Similarly, I get nervous when I don’t have enough greens but that’s a good thing right?

      I have never heard of the Jars system but now you have me very curious. I am going to read up on it.

      • Stefanie

        Jun 1, 2016 at 7:20 am

        Hehe right, I think nourishing yourself is definitely a good thing! Yeah, check it out, T. Harv Eker wrote a book about it, I also went to the seminar The Millionaire Mind Intensive. That was a great one. My partner and I implemented the Jars system, and we found that it has helped us to create more wealth my managing our money in a much more conscious way.

        • Tim Denning

          Jun 1, 2016 at 7:33 am

          I will definitely make sure I suss it out. Thanks again Stefanie.

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Success Advice

3 Areas You Should Focus on to Become a Great Leader

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Having listened to all of our stakeholders and being fully aware of the situation, spring is a good time to conduct a quarterly review to see exactly where we are in order. This helps us have a clear starting point to re-adjust our goals for the coming year.

One of the main problems tends to be that we look back at the things we haven’t done and where we didn’t get the results we intended. Because of this, we get ourselves in a state of anxiety which is hardly a resourceful state for setting positive goals.

A better approach is to be nice to ourselves. Have a look back over the last three months and check all the things you have achieved. Give yourself a treat for all of the things you planned to achieve and did. They may be something as simple as maintaining a to-do list or smiling more.

Afterwards, think of all the things you achieved which weren’t planned and congratulate yourself on your flexibility and creativity; for the person with the greatest flexibility of behaviour controls the outcomes.

For those results that weren’t as you intended, remind yourself that we all make the correct choice at the time we make it. We don’t deliberately make the wrong choices and whatever the outcome, there’s always a positive intention. There’s no failure, only feedback, and we learn more from our failures than we do our successes.

“Be good to yourself. Listen to your body, to your heart. We’re very hard on ourselves, and we’re always feeling like we’re not doing enough. It’s a terribly hard job.” – Marcia Wallace

Look to yourself

It is vital, especially for sole proprietors or owner/managers, to manage themselves in order to be fit, healthy, and relatively happy. Evidence points to a clear relationship between our moods and assorted aspects of job performance such as decision-making, creativity, teamwork, negotiation and leadership.

While success may put us in a good mood, an organisation that sees the glass as half full rather than half empty, stands a better chance in these difficult times.

Depressed individuals will always see the glass as half-empty and even rapidly emptying. This attitude saps energy and leaves those affected feeling worthless, helpless, and hopeless. In its worst case, depression can impair the ability to communicate and it’s not hard to see the organisational parallels.

Below are three elements within all of us that need to be taken care of:

1. Your mind

The key to a healthy mind is variety, so take an interest in other people, things, events and current affairs. Adopting an open and curious mindset allows us to see future possibilities and hence be more empowered.

2. Your body

A healthy body requires a solid routine. Ensure you eat and drink healthy products (especially water) and get plenty of rest and exercise. Knowing our own limitations and taking action to stay within them ensures we operate at our best.

3. Your spirit

Much has been written about feeding or maintaining the spirit but I believe there is one simple rule. Believe in something that is true to you and spend time each day with your true beliefs. Solitude is the nurse of enthusiasm and is as needful to the imagination as friends are to our character.

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” – Dolly Parton

Beyond individual performance, there are broader issues at stake. None of us are islands, happy in our own little depressed world. Moods, good or bad, are infectious and some people or positions can have a greater ripple effect than others. If a shy apprentice has a gloomy outlook, few may notice. But if people like the owner/manager are wandering around looking like the end of the world is coming, that can directly affect team spirit.

Water bearer or well poisoner

So what can the organisation do? Firstly, as individuals, we must show a positive and upbeat demeanor. That’s not easy and faking it will easily be spotted as the deception will be transparent. This isn’t unauthentic, but merely an attempt to empower ourselves.

Congruent leadership offers the means to put into words what it is you are experiencing with the person in order so your behaviour is consistent with your own values and beliefs such that you always appear to be what you desire to be.

Your mood as a leader then is highly contagious. Even though leaders or opinion formers aren’t always in leadership positions, they’re at the centre of informal networks. They have charisma and magnetism, possess strong opinions, and express them forcefully. Therefore, they have considerable social power and can have a direct effect on morale by being a water bearer or well poisoner. Which are you today?

What resonated most with you about this article and leadership? Share your thoughts below!

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Success Advice

The 6 Step Process for Delivering Critical Feedback in a Constructive Way

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We have all been in the position where we knew we needed to have a difficult conversation at work that involved delivering constructive feedback. Maybe a major deadline was missed, there was a clear decline in performance, or someone blatantly dropped the ball. Most of us avoid delivering the feedback, and the conversation can get pushed back again and again, wasting valuable time and money.

Delivering constructive feedback is challenging, and uncomfortable for most people, even highly trained leaders. Yet, delivering and accepting feedback is one of the most important keys for success. So why do we avoid these conversations? Because we never learned how to have them.

Open, honest, direct communication is not a skill we are taught in school. There is no “How to Have Tough Conversations” 101. As a clinical psychologist that specializes in couples work, I see just how important communication is in maintaining thriving relationships. I understand that good communication is the foundation of every successful relationship; both intimate relationships and your work relationships.

Below is a 6-step guide to providing constructive feedback:

Step 1: Clarity on the Goal of the Conversation  

The first step is to get clear on the goal of the feedback conversation. Are you planning to see a change in performance, simply communicate how you felt, or receive an apology? Get clear on what you are hoping to get out of the conversation. Be honest with yourself about what you need, what is most helpful to the relationship, and what is most helpful to the organization. Getting clear on the goal also ensures you are speaking with the right person.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

Step 2: Invitation

Set up a time to talk. Feedback conversations are not meant to be had in the hallway. It is important that both parties can set aside adequate time and have the space needed for dialogue. Additionally, there must be respect for both parties’ need for time to process information. For example, if you are delivering feedback, and the receiver needs time to process the feedback before responding, setting up a subsequent meeting will be most helpful.

Step 3: Ownership

Own the role you played in creating the situation. When you model ownership of blind spots, failures, or missteps, you set the stage for the receiver to do the same. For example, you may acknowledge that you were not aware of how to support your employee and not aware of the problem until x situation occurred. Equally important as owning your role, is owning your emotions. Own your emotions using “I” statements. For example, “I felt disappointed when I realized your sales performance had substantially declined”.

Step 4: Open, Honest, Direct Feedback

Feedback that dances around the problem does not do anyone any good. It only increases anxiety on behalf of the receiver, and potentially causes the feedback to get totally lost. The conversation needs to be open, honest, and direct. For example: “I felt concerned when you did not attend the last two strategy calls this month…It brought up questions for me about your commitment to the company.”

Step 5: Listen, Validate and Accept

When providing feedback, it is important both parties maintain an open mind, and respond in a way that communicates validation and acceptance. As soon as an individual gets defensive, feedback cannot be taken in, and the value of the conversation dramatically decreases. When providing feedback it is important to listen, validate, and accept your receiver’s viewpoint. Notice, I did not say agree. This looks something like saying: “I can see why X led you to commit Y , I understand you were under a great deal of stress/dealing with a personal situation/frustrated.”

“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates

Step 6: A Clear Plan for Moving Forward

In providing feedback, the magic is that now things can change! If feedback is never given, relationships end, things will stay the same, businesses will die, and money will be lost. If you have gotten to this step, that means you did the hard work, and now you get to put change into action. A clear plan includes an acknowledgement from both parties regarding what they will do differently to prevent the situation from occurring again, and how they will stay accountable in making the change happen.

The good news about delivering feedback is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Remember, giving and receiving feedback is one of the most surefire ways to open yourself up to massive growth.

As a giver of feedback, it is your job to model openness and a desire for growth, so that the receiver may take in the feedback and make the necessary changes. Exceling at feedback delivery will help you set you apart from others and enable you to achieve extraordinary relationships, in both your personal and work lives.

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Success Advice

Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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Success Advice

5 Essential Skills to Drive Success in Every Niche

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There are many people who don’t have the courage to launch a business in a niche as they think they don’t have the right skills and experience to obtain success. While there are specific skills which determine the success in every niche, there are also some general skills which ensure success in any business you would try.

Below are 5 essential skills you need to drive success in every aspect of your life:

1. Ambition

When you launch a new business, you need to be prepared for difficult moments such as fighting the competition and winning your target audience. Moreover, if you follow some successful entrepreneurs, you should keep in mind that they also faced difficulties and continue to experience them. So, how does a successful entrepreneur get over all the difficulties?

The essential skill you need to possess is called ambition. Set small and clear milestones in your development plan and use your ambition to go over each difficulty and finalize what you had in your mind. It doesn’t matter how hard the path is going to be. Visualize your target and put in all the efforts to achieve it. Staying organized and scheduling each step to get things done are some of the techniques you can use to achieve success.

2. Listen to those around you

While listening to your instincts is necessary if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, this is not enough. As your business develops, you will have an entire team to manage and lead to success. Therefore, you cannot be a successful leader and have success in every niche unless you learn how to listen to the people around you.

You should listen to your employees and discover what they are expecting from you. This is the way to follow if you want to keep your team motivated and help them give the best of themselves.

On the other hand, you will need to listen to your customers to improve your products and services and provide excellent customer support. By listening carefully to the voice of your customers, you will be able to stand out of the competition and ensure their loyalty towards your brand.

“We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.” – Jeff Bezos

3. Courage

When you decided to become an entrepreneur and build your own business, it means you are a courageous person. Courage will help you harness the power of creativity. Don’t be afraid to take risks if you feel a specific action will bring more success to your business.

Apart from doing intensive research on your ideas and developing the exact steps you are going to follow, you will need the courage to implement them. Not all the ideas will turn out to be successful.

Regardless, you will have something to learn from each success or mistake and this will help you move your business even further. When you have the courage to follow a path which is not very familiar to you, this is going to be the moment when you will widen your horizons and exceed your limits to achieve success.

4. Creativity and imagination

If you already implemented your idea and you see that it works, you most probably think that you don’t need to change anything to achieve more success. You need to keep in mind that customers’ preferences change and your competition is waiting for your mistakes to “steal” your clients.

Therefore, you need to use your creativity and imagination to improve your products and services to meet your customers’ expectations. What is more, creativity can also mean that you are open to talk to new people and use their experience to improve something in your business.

“Get closer than ever to your customers. So close that you tell them what they need well before they realize it themselves.” – Steve Jobs

5. Continuous learning

If you want to drive success in every niche you will need to show a willingness to learn. You need to stay updated with what happens in your niche and what your customers expect from you.

Education is not only something for school. It is a lifelong process, and you should be open to seek knowledge and improve your skills with every opportunity. An efficient trick is to stay close to people who are already successful in your industry, ask their opinions on various subjects and learn from their experience.

The above five essential skills will help you build a successful business in every niche. A true leader is ambitious, knows to listen to the people around him, and is always open to learning from others.

No matter the size of your business, you will need to be creative and use your imagination to improve your products and services. These skills will help any leader develop new skills, stand out of the crowd, and strengthen his position on the market.

What skill do you think is most important to be successful in life? Let us know below!

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