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Success Advice

Why Self Made is Self Sabotage



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There’s this whole status-quo in the business world about “self made”, but honestly what the heck does that even mean? For years I let myself secretly relish in the satisfaction of “doing it all myself” or “on my own” somehow thinking that meant I was guaranteed success, and the glamorous title of “self-made”.

Recently, my business had expanded beyond what I was capable of handling day to day, which had always been the dream; It was time to cross over from one-woman show to boss babe. I had always known someday I would build to the point of having a team, but I never realized what kind of growth and leveling up that was going to require. 

While looking at the finances for my business I had a decision to make. I could either invest in a marketing campaign with a very legitimate company that had all sorts of connections, but a company I had no relationship with, or I could temporarily hire a friend who would probably benefit from making a couple extra dollars, work hard for the business, and be blessed by the opportunity to maintain being a stay at home single mom. Though less experienced and less connected, I decided to go with the latter and hire my friend. 

For the first 30 days I regularly pep talked myself out of letting her go, and doing it all myself again. Constantly sitting at the kitchen table checking emails with my morning coffee, staring at my computer wondering if she was doing her job, was it going to work, was it going to help, was I throwing my whole budget down the drain. 

We decided to take our client spreadsheet and highlight leads that she had communicated with (warm leads) in yellow and closed leads with green. By day 30 we had closed one new client. One, seriously?! That’s it, I definitely needed to pull the plug. I logged onto her business email account to see where I had gone wrong, only to find out she had sent hundreds of emails and made hundreds of calls just as she said. What was I missing, was it me, she was going above and beyond, extremely coachable, hard working and genuinely dedicated to the success of the business, how had we only closed one lead?

For everything that was telling me to put a tag on it and call time of death, there was this equal and opposite nagging thought in my mind. “You wanna be a boss, a CEO, a company? Then you better learn how to delegate and let go, and you better do it now.” Yikes.

“There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others. Every one who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.” – George Adams

Sure enough, I decided to hold out, and one by one each yellow lead that was warm turned green. By day 30 we had only closed one client, but by day 45 we had closed 14 and then 25. I was overwhelmed and humbled as the clients and leads poured in. Each week cold leads turned warm and warm turned closed. It left me to ponder a new question. This time the question wasn’t what had we done wrong, but what had we, what had I, done right. 

1. An assistant makes you responsible to someone else

First thing I realized was how much more I was showing up in my own business. It’s so easy to get lazy with maintaining a schedule when you only answer to you. Knowing that someone else was working towards the goal I had been working on alone for so long lit a fire in me unlike anything else. Knowing she would be working on emails, phone calls and spreadsheets right away each day Monday through Friday had me getting up earlier, being more intentional with my time and staying on task better.

2. An assistant gives you a farmer mentality

It also gave me a more clear vision on the future of my business. I had a tendency to have great ideas, and go overkill working on them. Then, if they wouldn’t stick, or weren’t successful in the first go around (much like the clients) I would try to pivot to something else for fear I was wasting my time. Hiring an assistant made me realize the time and patience it was going to take to build a business, and just because it doesn’t manifest right away doesn’t mean it’s not working, or that I’m wasting my time. Just as a plant or a crop goes through a process of being sown, giving it sunshine, water and time, a business requires the same amount of growing season before the harvest. 

3. It made me learn how to delegate

I believe this is one of the hardest and most necessary skills to develop as a business owner. Though it’s the best thing for your business, it requires a level of blind trust and comes with unavoidable uncertainty. However, when you can learn how to delegate it will cut your tasks in half and allow you to dedicate more time and attention to the tasks only you can do while delegating tasks that you can have assistance with. When tasks are delegated properly, everything gets done at a faster rate and at a higher quality.

Overall, it improved every aspect of my business and myself. It improved me as a boss and a business owner, it improved the amount and quality of work that gets accomplished each day, and best of all, it gave me a renewed sense of vision for the future of my business.

Forget “self made”, you want to be a success, start with an assistant and watch how it not only transforms your business but yourself as well.

Alaura Lovelight is the CEO of Lovelight Sound Music, a music company that offers courses and workshops teaching musicians how to make a more consistent income with live music through strategy and consistency, and teaches teens how singing and performance influences confidence and life skills. Based out of New York City, Alaura is also a recording artist working alongside Grammy award winning producers and has performed all over the US for over 100,000 people. To Learn more, visit  

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Success Advice

How Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success

Your life is dictated by beliefs and biases that drive your thinking, behaviors, and decisions



Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success (1)
Image Credit: Midjourney

Pause for a moment and ponder two pandemic-era beliefs: First, closing schools will control the spread of a serious virus. Second, the consequences of such school closures—particularly social interruption and the prevention of immunity—are worse than becoming sick with the virus. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity



Image Credit: Midjourney

In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be. 

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time. 

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.

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Success Advice

Here’s a Young Man’s Antidote for the Uncertainty of the Modern World

Why do a lot of young guys lack confidence in today’s world? 



How to boost your confidence
Image Credit: Midjourney

We all have been told that confidence is a key factor in achieving success and happiness in life. But what is it exactly? (more…)

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Success Advice

Toxic Leadership: 5 Ways to Identify a Bad Leader

if you have a leader who displays any of the toxic traits, it’s time to move on to greener pastures.



Toxic leadership
Image Credit: Midjourney

Let’s be honest, we’ve all crossed paths with a toxic leader in our careers at some point. Unfortunately, while some toxic leaders don’t even bother to hide their behaviour, some know very well how to conceal their true selves behind a strong-built facade. The latter is the most dangerous of the two. (more…)

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