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Success Advice

Why Real Is The New Black

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fear is the new real

I grew up believing in this societal myth that you have to be fearless. That in order to make it in life, you have to develop thick skin. Be afraid of nothing. If anything goes wrong, just throw some dirt on it.

It’s all bullsh!t.

This year alone, I’ve interviewed over 50 entrepreneurs who are truly living on their own terms. They are some of the bravest and most prolific people I’ve come to know. In deconstructing their stories to determine what drove them to succeed, we uncovered one underlying theme that finally debunked this myth for me.

They all had fear, and lots of it.

In the words of Mark Twain,

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

If fearlessness is a myth, then why in the world are we still scared to death of failing?

 

Fear of Being Found Out

We’ve been told all our lives to fake it till we make it. Whatever it takes. Follow the rules. Don’t let them see you sweat. Instead of admitting your fear or coming clean about not knowing what you’re doing, we cover it up. In the process, we end up becoming a 75th rate edition of everyone else.

The more we imitate and emulate, the further we move away from who we are at our best. We end up losing confidence about whether we can truly deliver the goods at all.

Fear itself is not the problem.

In fact, we should worry if we’re not afraid. The bravest people in the world know this to be true. The disparity between who we portray ourselves to be and who we truly are is the real issue.

 

Keep It Real

So what is this new black we’re talking about here?

The key to reconciling who you are with how you show up in the world is all about keeping it real. Yes, I realize this is an abstract idea, this whole “keeping it real” thing.

To help you wrap your head around what I mean, here are three simple mantras you can incorporate into your life and work every single day to keep it real: doing things from the heart, living your own narrative and telling your unmistakable story.

pound get some graffitti

 

Whatever you do, do it from the heart.

I interviewed Bryson Andres, a 22-year-0ld electric violinist whose Spokane street performance covering OneRepublic’s Secrets went viral on YouTube and got him picked up by a major brand. I asked him what inspired him to keep performing on the streets especially during the times he had no money, no real support from his estranged parents, and no guarantee he would be ever discovered.

“My grandparents told me I sucked. I was only 12 or 13 at the time but I thought to myself, I don’t care. I’m just going to play the violin and play it from the heart… when I became an adult, something tragic happened in our family. When you lose somebody very important in your life, you want to live the way they’d want you to live. I decided I really needed to live my life to the fullest. I didn’t want to look back 10 or 15 years from that point and find myself sitting in a chair without having gone anywhere.” – Bryson Andres

 

Live your own narrative.

I also talked to nomadic entrepreneur and humanitarian, AJ Leon, who gave up his six-figure salary and corner office in Manhattan just four days before his wedding to nomad around the world. If you’ve ever felt stranded on your lone island trying to unlearn the things you felt compelled to do while chasing someone else’s dream, it’s refreshing to find others out there like AJ who understand how scary it is to leap out of your perceived security net into a world of the unknown.

“I try to look at fears that in the past would have had their foot on my throat and I just let them stand there; I try to not do that now. That dude was always afraid. I know there are people like that dude out there. That’s who I’m writing to. The 22-year-old version of myself. I’m telling that guy he doesn’t have to listen to everybody else and he has much more choices than he thinks he has… when you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of ‘Am I gonna make it?’ is much less relevant. This is my life. This is my art project.” – AJ Leon

 

Tell your unmistakable story.

Another interview with Srini Rao, the host and co-founder of BlogcastFM, left many ripples with me. After 10 years of failed jobs and relationships, he felt like a big disappointment to his parents. In recent years, Srini realized that every job he was fired from actually moved him closer to his purpose and the revelation that he was a corporate misfit. A badge he’s proud to wear.

“If you look at people who are successful, it appears that they have these massive platforms. That if you have all the numbers they have, that you’ll have all the success they have. Not quite. You have a unique story. You have a unique angle. That’s what actually matters. That’s the kind of thing that makes you unmistakable. The whole point of the art of being unmistakable is that you tell a story in a way that only you can. What I call the no bullshit version. You start shedding.” – Srini Rao

When you’re doing things from the heart, living your own narrative and telling your unmistakable story, being found out is a very good thing. #realisthenewblack

 

Feature Image Credit: BoostInspiration.com

Berni Xiong is Chief Kicker of Shins at BerniXiong.com and Co-Shut Up'er of Making Shit Happen at TheShutUpShow.com. As a coach, strategy consultant, speaker, web show host and writer, she helps six-figure salaried career professionals, start-ups and seven-figure small businesses unleash their roaring misfit heart and live on their own terms.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Sebastian

    Oct 12, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Wow great examples of people.

    It seems like the main message is don’t be afraid of being yourself and constructing your own unique path in life.

    Thanks for sharing these.

  2. Dave Conrey

    Oct 7, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I fully endorse this message… as I’m sure you knew I would. Nice one, B.

    • Berni Xiong (shUNG)

      Oct 8, 2013 at 6:22 am

      Thanks D-Con! It’s wonderful what happens when you write your heart out and keep it real… of course you would know that well 🙂

  3. Linda Esposito (@TalkTherapyBiz)

    Oct 3, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Awesome work Berni! (And love the title :P).

    50 interviews last year–whoa. That’s less vacay time than the average cube monkey gets.

    And not to disrespect Bryson’s grandparents, but I want to kick their asses. He should compose a violin concerto in their callous honor called “F@#k-this-Sh*t-O’clock.”

    TY for embracing/mobilizing fear.
    #realisthenewblack

    • Berni Xiong (shUNG) (@BerniXiong)

      Oct 4, 2013 at 3:46 am

      Haha you know what’s funny Linda… if you watched the interview I did with Bryson, you’ll see how emotional he got. And I actually got soft eyed for him when he told his story. But it’s that struggle and pain that really fueled his desire to succeed and be so damn good at the violin. I am actually glad things turned out as they did. He’s rockin’ it now!

  4. Berni Xiong (shUNG) (@BerniXiong)

    Oct 3, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks Robert! I used to get teased as a teen when I’d overuse “keep it real” and now, much much older and wiser, I finally get what it really means. 🙂

  5. Robert Seay

    Oct 3, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    Great article!! Thank you so much!!

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Success Advice

Is Fear of Failure Keeping You Stuck in a Lifeless Job? Here Are 5 Things to Do

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stuck in a job you hate

Are you stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfill you and you can’t seem to find a way out? Chances are that your fear of failure is holding you back. You constantly dream of change, but the dream is quickly replaced by worse case scenarios or self-doubt: What if you don’t find a better job? What if you don’t stand out in a competitive market? What will others think if it doesn’t work out?

At the end of this line of reasoning is the conviction that you’re not the only one who’s not satisfied, and that’s just how life goes. After all, bills won’t pay themselves, right? So you keep toiling away, increasing your level of self-dissatisfaction while quietly hoping that things will somehow improve on their own.

Fear becomes the self-imposed obstacle that prevents you from taking the steps that are necessary for the change(s) you long for. I can recall numerous times in my life where I gave in to my fears and compromised with my goals and desires to play it safe. I was stuck and my dream life and career felt so out of reach. The voice of my inner critic showed up every time I attempted change, to convince me I wasn’t ready and I didn’t have enough to shift.

So how do we overcome the fear of failure, so we can propel change? By removing the notion that change is a threat. Our ego thrives on fear. Its sole purpose is to keep us safe and protect us from taking risks. When we perceive a threat we activate the part of our brain called “amygdala” and we go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Our simple survival mechanism limits our potential by overemphasizing the fear of failure. Fight or Flight takes hold, but growth does not. We survive, but we don’t thrive, and therein lies the problem. We crave meaningful work that doesn’t drain us, but fulfills us and makes us happy. So how do we take the leap?

Here are 5 life hacks that helped me overcome fear and land a meaningful career:

1. Recognize the desire to change

It serves as a clear sign that you should do something about your situation. Don’t fear it, embrace it. It’s an indicator light in your personal console telling you that you urge for more because you can achieve more. Don’t ignore the blinking light, pay attention and start asking why it’s on in the first place. Trust the urge to start exploring what that might be with the initial intent of finding answers.

“You are never too old to reinvent yourself.” – Steve Harvey

2. Examine your fears, then challenge them

Write them down and face each one of them. This will help you really reveal where they come from. Recall that your ego and its survival mechanisms will over inflate these fears. Pop the balloon by grabbing a pen and asking yourself what is there really to be afraid of.

3. Put it in perspective

Seriously, what is the worst that could happen? If you’re not fulfilling your Plan A, then you’re already living out the downside scenario. Focus on what you’re grateful for, and count your blessings – they’ll still be here no matter if you fail or succeed, as well as the people who love you. The opinions of the rest don’t really matter. You’ll find that it is even easier to bounce back from failure than suffering from the inertia caused by fear. But, this takes courage.

“Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it is a part of it.” – Arianna Huffington

4. Be courageous

All you have to do is try. And the best way to try is through practice. Getting over your fears takes self-training, like a muscle that you need to exercise to build strength. Be intentional about putting yourself out of your comfort zone. Commit to challenging yourself and you’ll see that you’ll learn to bounce back quicker than expected. Your fear will lessen, and your confidence will build as will the resilience needed to enact change.

Arianna Huffington has a great quote to remind us that “Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it is a part of it.” Failing is an inevitable part of the process, so you may as well get it out of the way and face it with courage. But there’s failing, and then there’s taking the risk of failure in the pursuit of self-actualization. In other words, be smart about it by…

5. Creating a plan and executing in small steps

I know you might be thinking: “All of this is great, but I can’t just quit my job and design that meaningful new career.” And you probably shouldn’t. You have to strategize and prepare a plan. That way you can start moving forward with confidence (see #4 above). Shift the focus from the worst case scenario to a step-by-step plan. Then go ahead and explore, learn, ask for help, talk to people, save money, consider the bigger picture before you finally take a leap of faith.

Finally, think of what you’re not willing to give up for the change you want. Often these things keeps us stuck. We dread starting over, we’ve come a long way, so we resist breaking up with the person that don’t make us fully happy, with the lifeless job or a toxic friendship. We’ve invested in these things and they’re familiar and easy. Adjusting to the new and parting with the old is difficult.

Shift the perspective to a mindset of learning and growth. In reality no experience is lost or meaningless. You only add to it, and build more from it. That makes you more resilient and brings your personality and skill set to new heights.

Is fear of failure keeping you stuck? Please share with us below!

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Success Advice

It’s So Easy To Find The Negative in Everything. But What’s The Point?

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Last week, I posted a photo on LinkedIn that showed Keanu Reeves and his generosity.

The post went semi-viral, and people really loved it.

Well almost everyone. There were the 1% of haters.

The highlight of the post is that Keanu takes the train to a lot of places with normal people like you and I, and is not into fancy things. He’s donated most of his money to good causes including leukemia.

The haters wanted to tear Keanu down because how dare he own a house in LA (allegedly).

 

Being right is not the answer.

Whether Keanu does or doesn’t still own a house in LA doesn’t matter. Trying to always be right can force you to be negative. You end up adopting the mindset that everybody is wrong, and you’re smart – and the world is just one big lie.

This mindset can slowly create a self-destructive nature to the way you do life.

 

How do you know you’re 100% right?

There are no absolutes in life. Not everything is as black and white as you think. Maybe Keanu had a house and sold it. Maybe the house doesn’t belong to him. Maybe he shares the house with three Air Bnb travelers and so technically the mortgage is shared.

You just don’t know everything.
Google and Wikipedia are often wrong.
Focus on positivity instead of always being right.

Keanu Reeves on the train.

 

This negative way of thinking serves no one. Least of all you.

Negatively tearing people down all the time is affecting your own mindset which equals your success in the long term. It may seem like an innocent comment that you’ve written on someone’s post, but it shapes the way you think. You can’t help not be affected by trash talking good people like Keanu.

When you stand up and want to work on your goal, you end up being drained of energy from all the negativity you’ve put out.

“If you want to get mad, get mad at your goals and why you haven’t achieved them!”

 

Use your time better.

Don’t you have something else to do other than commenting on social media? Instead of fact-checking the entire world, you’re better off switching off social media and chipping away at your dream. If you love cars, spend your time there. If you love art, create some.

Focus on creating and not consuming.

 

Your network suffers too.

Your habit of being negative and wasting your time worrying about Keanu’s financial stats is repelling good people out of your life. People are watching you shoot your mouth off and are subconsciously thinking “Maybe I’ll leave this person alone. This doesn’t feel good.”

As humans, we want to feel good. Being positive feels good and you attract the right people. Slamming people on social media to make yourself feel good makes everyone else feel like garbage. If you wonder why you have no friends or your current friends suck, this is part of the reason.

The good news is you can change it. Focus on the positive.

 

Remember your EGO.

Finding the negative often occurs when your ego is out of control. Your need to be right is linked to the idea that maybe you think you’re really smart. Your ego being too big contributes to your need to correct people and be negative.

“Your inflated ego and your negative mindset are in love with each other. Break them up – for good!”

 

***Final Thought***

This is not a post about social media and trolling. If you thought that then I’m sorry.

My aim here is to get you to remember why you do what you do. I want you to focus your time on being positive and fighting the raging tsunami that is negativity which we’re all having a daily sword fight with.

Positivity is power. Positivity is success. Publish positivity.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

10 Things We Can Learn From the Incredible Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs

Steven Paul Jobs was one of the greatest visionaries and pioneers of the 21st century. He wasn’t an engineer, did not completed his college degree, yet he was able to turnaround the near-bankrupt Apple into the most valuable brand in the world. He not only transformed one industry but several others such as mobile phones, computers, and movies.

Here are 10 life lessons which everyone can learn from Steve Jobs and apply to their lives:

1. Always focus on the positive & let go of the negative

Steve Jobs went through many ups and downs in his life. He was given up by his biological parents for adoption. Such an event could have easily pushed him into the negative; however he chose to focus on the positive in life. He loved his adopted father and mother and he also found the things which kept him happy and positive (i.e. computers).

You should also utilize the power of positive thinking. Don’t become the person who always sees the glass half-empty. Just focus all your energy and dedication on the positive things in your life. If something is negative, it will always drain your energy and you would not be able to live your life to the fullest.

2. Travel the world and learn new things

When Steve Jobs was 19 years old he visited India, and he said in multiple interviews that his travels helped him broaden his perspective. The journey to somewhere far away from his land expanded his thoughts, and opened his mind to unlimited possibilities.

We should also travel more in order to experience the various cultures and lifestyle of people living in different corners of the world. You will not only experience new things but it will also broaden your horizons.

3. Always take a calculated risk

Steve Jobs was a risk-taker, and this set him apart from his competitors. Hardly any CEOs would have agreed to develop a new product which would cannibalize/decrease the sale of the company’s top-selling product. But, Steve Jobs took the risk to develop and market the iPhone when the iPod was their top selling product.

The iPhone cannibalized the sales of the iPod but the iPhone made a huge profit by dominating the emerging smartphone market. In order to move forward, we have to take risks in life. But we must make sure that the risk should be calculated.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs

4. Be wise in the company you choose to keep

Steve Jobs always hired and surrounded himself with great minds. He hired Steve Wozniak because he knew that he was better than Jobs in building computers. Some of the more prominent people who worked with Jobs were John Lasseter and Tim Cook. These people helped Steve Jobs to achieve massive success in making Apple the most valuable brand in the world.

You should learn to surround yourself with great people in order to achieve success. Don’t let your ego get in the way of who you choose to interact and work with.

5. Learn from the failures and keep moving forward

In 1984, Apple fired Steve Jobs. He could have chosen the option of feeling depressed about it but he took it in a positive way.

At Stanford’s 2005 commencement address, he said;

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

We should also not fear failure because it is not the end of the end. We should treat failure as an opportunity to improve oneself.

6. Do only what you truly love

While addressing the students and faculty members of Stanford University, Steve Jobs said  The only thing which kept him going while facing challenges and obstacles was the fact that he was doing what he loved. He also said to find what you love both in your professional and personal life.

If we do what we truly love then we do that particular work with complete passion. We don’t make any excuses for not giving everything we have.

7. Learn from others

When Steve Jobs was in high school, he attended lectures at Hewlett-Packard. Before the age of 21, he had already worked for HP and Atari. He worked there and learned what these companies were doing and he implemented those strategies at Apple.

You too should learn from others. If you don’t see any results while working towards a certain goal, then you should take advice from the experts in that field. Sometimes, a little help is all you need to achieve success.

8. It is never too early to get started

Steve Jobs was still a teenager when he was working with HP and Atari. At the age of 20, the young enthusiastic entrepreneur had started Apple Inc. He was young daring man open to new ideas thus who he focused all his energy on the company.

If a young entrepreneur starts a venture at a young age, then he doesn’t have much pressure. After a certain age, you are more focused on your family or career at some other company. At a young age, you can take risks professionally as you are are more free to fail and restart.

9. Obstacles are the opportunity to succeed

Steve Jobs and Wozniak were the co-founders of Apple Inc. While they were developing the first Apple computer they ran out of money. They could have given up on their dream of building a computer but instead, they choose to thrive. Steve Jobs sold his van and Wozniak sold his graphing calculator to raise some money.

Learn to see your obstacles as an opportunity to succeed. If you really want to do something, you will always find a way to complete it. Once you have this mindset, then nothing can stop you from overcoming your obstacles.

“I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non successful ones is pure perseverance.” – Steve Jobs

10. Always remember you are not immortal

While addressing the students at Stanford University, Jobs said “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because of almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

Whenever you feel depressed, confused, embarrassed or have any negative feelings, only remember one thing; you are not immortal. You will be dead soon, so instead of feeling depressed make sure that you utilize every second of life.

Though Steve Jobs has passed away, his legacy will be with us forever. He was an inspiring human being who was and is respected by many. The way he lived his life both personally and professionally is commendable and if we can learn from his teachings, then it will definitely help us in achieving success in life.

Which one of these 10 qualities of Steve Jobs is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

How I Work Smarter: The Practical And Really Dumbed Down Strategies.

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Working Smarter. Productivity Hacks

I’m somewhat of a productivity freak. I like having time.

Time allows me to work smarter, and so I protect it like a rare and beautiful diamond. If you want to steal my time, you better be prepared for one hell of a battle. I’d happily give up money before I would ever give up time.

Here’s how I work smart and how you can do the same:

 

I take the stairs.

While everybody is lining up for the lift or going 1 meter every ten minutes on the escalator, I take the stairs. It keeps me fit and I get where I want to go faster. Nothing in life worth achieving is easy so get used to taking the stairs and doing some physical work.

 

I keep it simple (decision fatigue).

Water instead of wine/soft drink/coffee etc.
One big goal at any point in time instead of a to-do list of goals that lead nowhere.
One email address instead of multiple inboxes.
One computer and one phone instead of a Fitbit, laptop, phone, tablet and Apple Watch.

“Vanilla options are easy and low fuss. Decisions fatigue you”

 

I have lunch before midday.

Lunch can be done in 15 minutes. The trick is to buy or make your lunch before the rush. Standing in lines and getting frustrated is unnecessary. Get some time in your day back by doing lunch earlier. I recommend 11:45. With the extra time you gain back, try adding in 10 minutes of meditation.

 

Leave the car at home.

When I go to the city, I leave the car at home. By the time I get into the car, battle against the seven seas that is traffic and then get parking, I could have already been there by train or equivalent. This transit time also becomes my portable learning time. I use this time to listen to podcasts and audiobooks instead of having to think about driving.

 

One day a week in isolation.

Being alone with your thoughts and complete silence, once a week, makes you mega productive. A few moments of quietness are far more valuable than hours of busyness and noise. In complete isolation, you have no choice but to focus and complete your goals.

 

I use tiredness to do housework.

People hate tiredness. I love it. Tiredness tells me to stop working on my goals and do the things we all have to do like housework. I don’t need any energy or inspiration to do housework so why waste my high energy states on it?

Having said that, I aim to eliminate tiredness. This is a work in progress and requires exercise combined with an excellent diet. Until then, housework I love you!

 

Notifications are turned off except for SMS

That word “notifications” feels like grand larceny. Companies used to steal my time through notifications and now I’ve declared war on them. When you’re powering through a task, the last thing you want is an interruption in the form of a notification.

That small amount of time you spend getting distracted takes you out of the zone and away from the focused state you’re in. Go to settings and turn off notifications – especially Facebook.

 

I don’t play computer games.

As a kid, I loved computer games. That’s why I know to stay away from them as an adult because they are designed to get me to fight someone else’s mission. There’s no such thing as a quick game. Games are designed to keep you engaged and continually challenge you.

 

I get up before everybody else.

Yes, sir! I get up when it’s dark so I can do the big stuff first. Before the rest of the world can wake up and distract me, I’m getting my game on in the early hours of the morning. I really think you should wake up early. If you ignored everything else I said and just woke up early, I’d be proud.

 

I tell myself no before saying yes.

Yes has become a first world disease. You can’t work smart if you say yes to every offer that comes your way. That’s why I tell myself no first, and then try to convince myself of yes. If I can’t convince myself, I say no. Auto responding with yes answers will make you busy.

 

Busy is not smart.

If you think you are busy, and you verbally say so regularly, you’re not working smart. Busy is dumb. Busy will cripple your time and make your mindset go into meltdown. Humans can only focus on a small number of things so stop being busy!

Tell people the truth. Say no more. Guard your time. Avoid the trap of busy.

 

I chunk down big tasks.

If I have to give a big speech then in the same week, I move away any other big goals that might distract me. Too many big goals all in a small space of time can become overwhelming quickly. Stick to one or two big goals at a time and you’ll achieve a lot more. Less is more.

 

I own less stuff.

That way I don’t need to worry about maintaining things, securing things, thinking about objects, spending money on things I can’t afford. Sell, sell, sell yourself out of living the dumb life.

“Stuff does not equal progress; personal growth does and money can’t buy that”

 

I invest in dumb stuff.

With almost no knowledge, anyone can invest in index funds and not have to worry about the burden of trying to predict the next biggest thing. In reality, this strategy will probably beat all of the people who waste their lives away trying to be fortune tellers.

All I do is buy low-cost index funds of major economies like the USA. I invest the same amount each time so I’m not affected by the rise and fall of the stock market. Thank you, Tony Robbins and Warren Buffet for this strategy.

I don’t have video streaming.

Time looking at a screen is better spent reading a book. Fictional TV shows are not teaching me about life. Reading biographies, books about life lessons and the latest research in human psychology does that for me. One up on mediocrity and cancel your subscription.

 

Simplify your subscriptions.

Here’s the thing: Subscriptions equal time.

Companies have moved their business models to subscriptions because it helps keep you engaged and addicted to what they have to sell because you’re paying a recurring fee for it. Delete as many subscriptions as you can. I have one for my meditation app, one for the gym and one for my writing software.

 

Delete apps from your reading device.

Okay, so I do use Kindle which means that there is a temptation to look at apps. Delete apps from your reading device so you can actually read.

 

I take summer holidays when everyone returns to the office.

In Australia, everyone goes away in December and January. I take my holidays when they return to work. This means:

– More time in the office when it’s less busy
– Cheaper flights and accommodation during low peak times
– More chances to step up to leader roles while others are away

Everything is just less busy when you holiday off-peak.

 

I avoid junk food during major goal weeks.

This week I have a public speaking competition. I need all the practice I can get which requires energy. That’s why, in big goal weeks like the one I’m in right now, I cut out junk food. Energy equals time. Do a cheat day to celebrate at the end if you must.

 

I split my resources like this.

– Travel
– Necessities like food, clothes and rent
– Money for family and my girlfriend
– Unplanned indulgences (cheat day)

A balanced life requires resources (money). Splitting your money across these four areas allows you to work smart. You only have to work dumb when you waste your resources and therefore have to work ten times harder than you need to. When in doubt, less is more.

 

Stimulants are neglected.

Coffee only makes us get the jitters and be nervous. I find when I’m on coffee I become more fearful. My relaxed state disappears.

 

I do regular breaks.

We’re not machines. I do regular breaks of trampoline, walking, and eating fresh food in-between hours of writing on the weekend.

 

I outsource stuff I’m bad at.

If I do things I’m horrible at, I do them badly. This stops me from working smart and can cause negativity. That’s why I outsource stuff I’m bad at wherever possible.

 

I get enough sleep.

7 hours works for me. You have to sleep otherwise you’ll get tired which will cause negativity and a poor quality of work. This “sleep when you’re dead” tend is a fallacy.

 

I value you my time.

I’ve placed a very high dollar value on my time. Because I consciously value it, I’m always reconciling how much time I have. By valuing your time, you become aware of it. You can’t focus on something you are not aware of.

 

I do phone first, instead of coffee catch-ups.

LinkedIn sends me multiple requests a day for coffee catch ups. Most of them don’t state any valid reason for the catch-up. Now if you just say no to them all you could be missing out on the gift of socializing, learning new things and meeting people you can do business with.

The hack I use is this: Always do the first conversation via phone. That way you can tell if there is value or a need for a coffee catch up.

Second hack: do a video call instead of an audio-only call. Video lets you see the other person and connect better. It’s more personal and you’ll quickly figure out if you need that coffee after all. I personally don’t drink coffee, so these sort of catch ups take me out of rapport with the other person from the start.

 

Happy partner, happy life.

I spend less time arguing because I do stuff that my partner wants to do even if I don’t. She does the same. This way everybody wins and I don’t need to waste time arguing and lighting a fire under my mindset that causes me to want to evacuate to the world of temptation (coffee, Netflix, games, useless crap).

 

I cheat on my phone regularly.

That’s right! I sleep around with any activity that doesn’t involve looking at my phone.

“The small glass window of my phone feels like such a tiny part of what the world has to offer. I choose to look out of the window of life instead and see limitless possibility”

 

I do exercise to boost my mindset.

Being smart is only possible when you have a positive mindset served on the side. Exercise has helped me relieve stress and get back to feeling good again. Do it.

 

I don’t allow people to steal my time.

People will gladly rob you of your time and waste it. They do this primarily because they have their own selfish goals, or they’re bored with life and wasting your time makes them feel better. Prosecute these time thieves’ by telling them your expectations and referencing your calendar if you have to.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

Is Fear of Failure Keeping You Stuck in a Lifeless Job? Here Are 5 Things to Do

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stuck in a job you hate

Are you stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfill you and you can’t seem to find a way out? Chances are that your fear of failure is holding you back. You constantly dream of change, but the dream is quickly replaced by worse case scenarios or self-doubt: What if you don’t find a better job? What if you don’t stand out in a competitive market? What will others think if it doesn’t work out?

At the end of this line of reasoning is the conviction that you’re not the only one who’s not satisfied, and that’s just how life goes. After all, bills won’t pay themselves, right? So you keep toiling away, increasing your level of self-dissatisfaction while quietly hoping that things will somehow improve on their own.

Fear becomes the self-imposed obstacle that prevents you from taking the steps that are necessary for the change(s) you long for. I can recall numerous times in my life where I gave in to my fears and compromised with my goals and desires to play it safe. I was stuck and my dream life and career felt so out of reach. The voice of my inner critic showed up every time I attempted change, to convince me I wasn’t ready and I didn’t have enough to shift.

So how do we overcome the fear of failure, so we can propel change? By removing the notion that change is a threat. Our ego thrives on fear. Its sole purpose is to keep us safe and protect us from taking risks. When we perceive a threat we activate the part of our brain called “amygdala” and we go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Our simple survival mechanism limits our potential by overemphasizing the fear of failure. Fight or Flight takes hold, but growth does not. We survive, but we don’t thrive, and therein lies the problem. We crave meaningful work that doesn’t drain us, but fulfills us and makes us happy. So how do we take the leap? (more…)

Vanya Lazarova is a certified professional coach, specializing in helping people create their life's work by starting with purpose and authenticity. She loves writing, reading, psychology, philosophy, arts and all forms of self- expression. She co-founded a personal development podcast called "The Coaching Journal", where she offers thought provoking concepts to empower people intentionally design the life they want to have. You can find more about Vanya and the work she does on her website www.LiveAuthentic.net and at her podcast The Coaching Journal.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Sebastian

    Oct 12, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Wow great examples of people.

    It seems like the main message is don’t be afraid of being yourself and constructing your own unique path in life.

    Thanks for sharing these.

  2. Dave Conrey

    Oct 7, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I fully endorse this message… as I’m sure you knew I would. Nice one, B.

    • Berni Xiong (shUNG)

      Oct 8, 2013 at 6:22 am

      Thanks D-Con! It’s wonderful what happens when you write your heart out and keep it real… of course you would know that well 🙂

  3. Linda Esposito (@TalkTherapyBiz)

    Oct 3, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Awesome work Berni! (And love the title :P).

    50 interviews last year–whoa. That’s less vacay time than the average cube monkey gets.

    And not to disrespect Bryson’s grandparents, but I want to kick their asses. He should compose a violin concerto in their callous honor called “F@#k-this-Sh*t-O’clock.”

    TY for embracing/mobilizing fear.
    #realisthenewblack

    • Berni Xiong (shUNG) (@BerniXiong)

      Oct 4, 2013 at 3:46 am

      Haha you know what’s funny Linda… if you watched the interview I did with Bryson, you’ll see how emotional he got. And I actually got soft eyed for him when he told his story. But it’s that struggle and pain that really fueled his desire to succeed and be so damn good at the violin. I am actually glad things turned out as they did. He’s rockin’ it now!

  4. Berni Xiong (shUNG) (@BerniXiong)

    Oct 3, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks Robert! I used to get teased as a teen when I’d overuse “keep it real” and now, much much older and wiser, I finally get what it really means. 🙂

  5. Robert Seay

    Oct 3, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    Great article!! Thank you so much!!

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Success Advice

Is Fear of Failure Keeping You Stuck in a Lifeless Job? Here Are 5 Things to Do

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stuck in a job you hate

Are you stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfill you and you can’t seem to find a way out? Chances are that your fear of failure is holding you back. You constantly dream of change, but the dream is quickly replaced by worse case scenarios or self-doubt: What if you don’t find a better job? What if you don’t stand out in a competitive market? What will others think if it doesn’t work out?

At the end of this line of reasoning is the conviction that you’re not the only one who’s not satisfied, and that’s just how life goes. After all, bills won’t pay themselves, right? So you keep toiling away, increasing your level of self-dissatisfaction while quietly hoping that things will somehow improve on their own.

Fear becomes the self-imposed obstacle that prevents you from taking the steps that are necessary for the change(s) you long for. I can recall numerous times in my life where I gave in to my fears and compromised with my goals and desires to play it safe. I was stuck and my dream life and career felt so out of reach. The voice of my inner critic showed up every time I attempted change, to convince me I wasn’t ready and I didn’t have enough to shift.

So how do we overcome the fear of failure, so we can propel change? By removing the notion that change is a threat. Our ego thrives on fear. Its sole purpose is to keep us safe and protect us from taking risks. When we perceive a threat we activate the part of our brain called “amygdala” and we go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Our simple survival mechanism limits our potential by overemphasizing the fear of failure. Fight or Flight takes hold, but growth does not. We survive, but we don’t thrive, and therein lies the problem. We crave meaningful work that doesn’t drain us, but fulfills us and makes us happy. So how do we take the leap?

Here are 5 life hacks that helped me overcome fear and land a meaningful career:

1. Recognize the desire to change

It serves as a clear sign that you should do something about your situation. Don’t fear it, embrace it. It’s an indicator light in your personal console telling you that you urge for more because you can achieve more. Don’t ignore the blinking light, pay attention and start asking why it’s on in the first place. Trust the urge to start exploring what that might be with the initial intent of finding answers.

“You are never too old to reinvent yourself.” – Steve Harvey

2. Examine your fears, then challenge them

Write them down and face each one of them. This will help you really reveal where they come from. Recall that your ego and its survival mechanisms will over inflate these fears. Pop the balloon by grabbing a pen and asking yourself what is there really to be afraid of.

3. Put it in perspective

Seriously, what is the worst that could happen? If you’re not fulfilling your Plan A, then you’re already living out the downside scenario. Focus on what you’re grateful for, and count your blessings – they’ll still be here no matter if you fail or succeed, as well as the people who love you. The opinions of the rest don’t really matter. You’ll find that it is even easier to bounce back from failure than suffering from the inertia caused by fear. But, this takes courage.

“Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it is a part of it.” – Arianna Huffington

4. Be courageous

All you have to do is try. And the best way to try is through practice. Getting over your fears takes self-training, like a muscle that you need to exercise to build strength. Be intentional about putting yourself out of your comfort zone. Commit to challenging yourself and you’ll see that you’ll learn to bounce back quicker than expected. Your fear will lessen, and your confidence will build as will the resilience needed to enact change.

Arianna Huffington has a great quote to remind us that “Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it is a part of it.” Failing is an inevitable part of the process, so you may as well get it out of the way and face it with courage. But there’s failing, and then there’s taking the risk of failure in the pursuit of self-actualization. In other words, be smart about it by…

5. Creating a plan and executing in small steps

I know you might be thinking: “All of this is great, but I can’t just quit my job and design that meaningful new career.” And you probably shouldn’t. You have to strategize and prepare a plan. That way you can start moving forward with confidence (see #4 above). Shift the focus from the worst case scenario to a step-by-step plan. Then go ahead and explore, learn, ask for help, talk to people, save money, consider the bigger picture before you finally take a leap of faith.

Finally, think of what you’re not willing to give up for the change you want. Often these things keeps us stuck. We dread starting over, we’ve come a long way, so we resist breaking up with the person that don’t make us fully happy, with the lifeless job or a toxic friendship. We’ve invested in these things and they’re familiar and easy. Adjusting to the new and parting with the old is difficult.

Shift the perspective to a mindset of learning and growth. In reality no experience is lost or meaningless. You only add to it, and build more from it. That makes you more resilient and brings your personality and skill set to new heights.

Is fear of failure keeping you stuck? Please share with us below!

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Success Advice

It’s So Easy To Find The Negative in Everything. But What’s The Point?

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Last week, I posted a photo on LinkedIn that showed Keanu Reeves and his generosity.

The post went semi-viral, and people really loved it.

Well almost everyone. There were the 1% of haters.

The highlight of the post is that Keanu takes the train to a lot of places with normal people like you and I, and is not into fancy things. He’s donated most of his money to good causes including leukemia.

The haters wanted to tear Keanu down because how dare he own a house in LA (allegedly).

 

Being right is not the answer.

Whether Keanu does or doesn’t still own a house in LA doesn’t matter. Trying to always be right can force you to be negative. You end up adopting the mindset that everybody is wrong, and you’re smart – and the world is just one big lie.

This mindset can slowly create a self-destructive nature to the way you do life.

 

How do you know you’re 100% right?

There are no absolutes in life. Not everything is as black and white as you think. Maybe Keanu had a house and sold it. Maybe the house doesn’t belong to him. Maybe he shares the house with three Air Bnb travelers and so technically the mortgage is shared.

You just don’t know everything.
Google and Wikipedia are often wrong.
Focus on positivity instead of always being right.

Keanu Reeves on the train.

 

This negative way of thinking serves no one. Least of all you.

Negatively tearing people down all the time is affecting your own mindset which equals your success in the long term. It may seem like an innocent comment that you’ve written on someone’s post, but it shapes the way you think. You can’t help not be affected by trash talking good people like Keanu.

When you stand up and want to work on your goal, you end up being drained of energy from all the negativity you’ve put out.

“If you want to get mad, get mad at your goals and why you haven’t achieved them!”

 

Use your time better.

Don’t you have something else to do other than commenting on social media? Instead of fact-checking the entire world, you’re better off switching off social media and chipping away at your dream. If you love cars, spend your time there. If you love art, create some.

Focus on creating and not consuming.

 

Your network suffers too.

Your habit of being negative and wasting your time worrying about Keanu’s financial stats is repelling good people out of your life. People are watching you shoot your mouth off and are subconsciously thinking “Maybe I’ll leave this person alone. This doesn’t feel good.”

As humans, we want to feel good. Being positive feels good and you attract the right people. Slamming people on social media to make yourself feel good makes everyone else feel like garbage. If you wonder why you have no friends or your current friends suck, this is part of the reason.

The good news is you can change it. Focus on the positive.

 

Remember your EGO.

Finding the negative often occurs when your ego is out of control. Your need to be right is linked to the idea that maybe you think you’re really smart. Your ego being too big contributes to your need to correct people and be negative.

“Your inflated ego and your negative mindset are in love with each other. Break them up – for good!”

 

***Final Thought***

This is not a post about social media and trolling. If you thought that then I’m sorry.

My aim here is to get you to remember why you do what you do. I want you to focus your time on being positive and fighting the raging tsunami that is negativity which we’re all having a daily sword fight with.

Positivity is power. Positivity is success. Publish positivity.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

10 Things We Can Learn From the Incredible Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs

Steven Paul Jobs was one of the greatest visionaries and pioneers of the 21st century. He wasn’t an engineer, did not completed his college degree, yet he was able to turnaround the near-bankrupt Apple into the most valuable brand in the world. He not only transformed one industry but several others such as mobile phones, computers, and movies.

Here are 10 life lessons which everyone can learn from Steve Jobs and apply to their lives:

1. Always focus on the positive & let go of the negative

Steve Jobs went through many ups and downs in his life. He was given up by his biological parents for adoption. Such an event could have easily pushed him into the negative; however he chose to focus on the positive in life. He loved his adopted father and mother and he also found the things which kept him happy and positive (i.e. computers).

You should also utilize the power of positive thinking. Don’t become the person who always sees the glass half-empty. Just focus all your energy and dedication on the positive things in your life. If something is negative, it will always drain your energy and you would not be able to live your life to the fullest.

2. Travel the world and learn new things

When Steve Jobs was 19 years old he visited India, and he said in multiple interviews that his travels helped him broaden his perspective. The journey to somewhere far away from his land expanded his thoughts, and opened his mind to unlimited possibilities.

We should also travel more in order to experience the various cultures and lifestyle of people living in different corners of the world. You will not only experience new things but it will also broaden your horizons.

3. Always take a calculated risk

Steve Jobs was a risk-taker, and this set him apart from his competitors. Hardly any CEOs would have agreed to develop a new product which would cannibalize/decrease the sale of the company’s top-selling product. But, Steve Jobs took the risk to develop and market the iPhone when the iPod was their top selling product.

The iPhone cannibalized the sales of the iPod but the iPhone made a huge profit by dominating the emerging smartphone market. In order to move forward, we have to take risks in life. But we must make sure that the risk should be calculated.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs

4. Be wise in the company you choose to keep

Steve Jobs always hired and surrounded himself with great minds. He hired Steve Wozniak because he knew that he was better than Jobs in building computers. Some of the more prominent people who worked with Jobs were John Lasseter and Tim Cook. These people helped Steve Jobs to achieve massive success in making Apple the most valuable brand in the world.

You should learn to surround yourself with great people in order to achieve success. Don’t let your ego get in the way of who you choose to interact and work with.

5. Learn from the failures and keep moving forward

In 1984, Apple fired Steve Jobs. He could have chosen the option of feeling depressed about it but he took it in a positive way.

At Stanford’s 2005 commencement address, he said;

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

We should also not fear failure because it is not the end of the end. We should treat failure as an opportunity to improve oneself.

6. Do only what you truly love

While addressing the students and faculty members of Stanford University, Steve Jobs said  The only thing which kept him going while facing challenges and obstacles was the fact that he was doing what he loved. He also said to find what you love both in your professional and personal life.

If we do what we truly love then we do that particular work with complete passion. We don’t make any excuses for not giving everything we have.

7. Learn from others

When Steve Jobs was in high school, he attended lectures at Hewlett-Packard. Before the age of 21, he had already worked for HP and Atari. He worked there and learned what these companies were doing and he implemented those strategies at Apple.

You too should learn from others. If you don’t see any results while working towards a certain goal, then you should take advice from the experts in that field. Sometimes, a little help is all you need to achieve success.

8. It is never too early to get started

Steve Jobs was still a teenager when he was working with HP and Atari. At the age of 20, the young enthusiastic entrepreneur had started Apple Inc. He was young daring man open to new ideas thus who he focused all his energy on the company.

If a young entrepreneur starts a venture at a young age, then he doesn’t have much pressure. After a certain age, you are more focused on your family or career at some other company. At a young age, you can take risks professionally as you are are more free to fail and restart.

9. Obstacles are the opportunity to succeed

Steve Jobs and Wozniak were the co-founders of Apple Inc. While they were developing the first Apple computer they ran out of money. They could have given up on their dream of building a computer but instead, they choose to thrive. Steve Jobs sold his van and Wozniak sold his graphing calculator to raise some money.

Learn to see your obstacles as an opportunity to succeed. If you really want to do something, you will always find a way to complete it. Once you have this mindset, then nothing can stop you from overcoming your obstacles.

“I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non successful ones is pure perseverance.” – Steve Jobs

10. Always remember you are not immortal

While addressing the students at Stanford University, Jobs said “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because of almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

Whenever you feel depressed, confused, embarrassed or have any negative feelings, only remember one thing; you are not immortal. You will be dead soon, so instead of feeling depressed make sure that you utilize every second of life.

Though Steve Jobs has passed away, his legacy will be with us forever. He was an inspiring human being who was and is respected by many. The way he lived his life both personally and professionally is commendable and if we can learn from his teachings, then it will definitely help us in achieving success in life.

Which one of these 10 qualities of Steve Jobs is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

How I Work Smarter: The Practical And Really Dumbed Down Strategies.

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Working Smarter. Productivity Hacks

I’m somewhat of a productivity freak. I like having time.

Time allows me to work smarter, and so I protect it like a rare and beautiful diamond. If you want to steal my time, you better be prepared for one hell of a battle. I’d happily give up money before I would ever give up time.

Here’s how I work smart and how you can do the same:

 

I take the stairs.

While everybody is lining up for the lift or going 1 meter every ten minutes on the escalator, I take the stairs. It keeps me fit and I get where I want to go faster. Nothing in life worth achieving is easy so get used to taking the stairs and doing some physical work.

 

I keep it simple (decision fatigue).

Water instead of wine/soft drink/coffee etc.
One big goal at any point in time instead of a to-do list of goals that lead nowhere.
One email address instead of multiple inboxes.
One computer and one phone instead of a Fitbit, laptop, phone, tablet and Apple Watch.

“Vanilla options are easy and low fuss. Decisions fatigue you”

 

I have lunch before midday.

Lunch can be done in 15 minutes. The trick is to buy or make your lunch before the rush. Standing in lines and getting frustrated is unnecessary. Get some time in your day back by doing lunch earlier. I recommend 11:45. With the extra time you gain back, try adding in 10 minutes of meditation.

 

Leave the car at home.

When I go to the city, I leave the car at home. By the time I get into the car, battle against the seven seas that is traffic and then get parking, I could have already been there by train or equivalent. This transit time also becomes my portable learning time. I use this time to listen to podcasts and audiobooks instead of having to think about driving.

 

One day a week in isolation.

Being alone with your thoughts and complete silence, once a week, makes you mega productive. A few moments of quietness are far more valuable than hours of busyness and noise. In complete isolation, you have no choice but to focus and complete your goals.

 

I use tiredness to do housework.

People hate tiredness. I love it. Tiredness tells me to stop working on my goals and do the things we all have to do like housework. I don’t need any energy or inspiration to do housework so why waste my high energy states on it?

Having said that, I aim to eliminate tiredness. This is a work in progress and requires exercise combined with an excellent diet. Until then, housework I love you!

 

Notifications are turned off except for SMS

That word “notifications” feels like grand larceny. Companies used to steal my time through notifications and now I’ve declared war on them. When you’re powering through a task, the last thing you want is an interruption in the form of a notification.

That small amount of time you spend getting distracted takes you out of the zone and away from the focused state you’re in. Go to settings and turn off notifications – especially Facebook.

 

I don’t play computer games.

As a kid, I loved computer games. That’s why I know to stay away from them as an adult because they are designed to get me to fight someone else’s mission. There’s no such thing as a quick game. Games are designed to keep you engaged and continually challenge you.

 

I get up before everybody else.

Yes, sir! I get up when it’s dark so I can do the big stuff first. Before the rest of the world can wake up and distract me, I’m getting my game on in the early hours of the morning. I really think you should wake up early. If you ignored everything else I said and just woke up early, I’d be proud.

 

I tell myself no before saying yes.

Yes has become a first world disease. You can’t work smart if you say yes to every offer that comes your way. That’s why I tell myself no first, and then try to convince myself of yes. If I can’t convince myself, I say no. Auto responding with yes answers will make you busy.

 

Busy is not smart.

If you think you are busy, and you verbally say so regularly, you’re not working smart. Busy is dumb. Busy will cripple your time and make your mindset go into meltdown. Humans can only focus on a small number of things so stop being busy!

Tell people the truth. Say no more. Guard your time. Avoid the trap of busy.

 

I chunk down big tasks.

If I have to give a big speech then in the same week, I move away any other big goals that might distract me. Too many big goals all in a small space of time can become overwhelming quickly. Stick to one or two big goals at a time and you’ll achieve a lot more. Less is more.

 

I own less stuff.

That way I don’t need to worry about maintaining things, securing things, thinking about objects, spending money on things I can’t afford. Sell, sell, sell yourself out of living the dumb life.

“Stuff does not equal progress; personal growth does and money can’t buy that”

 

I invest in dumb stuff.

With almost no knowledge, anyone can invest in index funds and not have to worry about the burden of trying to predict the next biggest thing. In reality, this strategy will probably beat all of the people who waste their lives away trying to be fortune tellers.

All I do is buy low-cost index funds of major economies like the USA. I invest the same amount each time so I’m not affected by the rise and fall of the stock market. Thank you, Tony Robbins and Warren Buffet for this strategy.

I don’t have video streaming.

Time looking at a screen is better spent reading a book. Fictional TV shows are not teaching me about life. Reading biographies, books about life lessons and the latest research in human psychology does that for me. One up on mediocrity and cancel your subscription.

 

Simplify your subscriptions.

Here’s the thing: Subscriptions equal time.

Companies have moved their business models to subscriptions because it helps keep you engaged and addicted to what they have to sell because you’re paying a recurring fee for it. Delete as many subscriptions as you can. I have one for my meditation app, one for the gym and one for my writing software.

 

Delete apps from your reading device.

Okay, so I do use Kindle which means that there is a temptation to look at apps. Delete apps from your reading device so you can actually read.

 

I take summer holidays when everyone returns to the office.

In Australia, everyone goes away in December and January. I take my holidays when they return to work. This means:

– More time in the office when it’s less busy
– Cheaper flights and accommodation during low peak times
– More chances to step up to leader roles while others are away

Everything is just less busy when you holiday off-peak.

 

I avoid junk food during major goal weeks.

This week I have a public speaking competition. I need all the practice I can get which requires energy. That’s why, in big goal weeks like the one I’m in right now, I cut out junk food. Energy equals time. Do a cheat day to celebrate at the end if you must.

 

I split my resources like this.

– Travel
– Necessities like food, clothes and rent
– Money for family and my girlfriend
– Unplanned indulgences (cheat day)

A balanced life requires resources (money). Splitting your money across these four areas allows you to work smart. You only have to work dumb when you waste your resources and therefore have to work ten times harder than you need to. When in doubt, less is more.

 

Stimulants are neglected.

Coffee only makes us get the jitters and be nervous. I find when I’m on coffee I become more fearful. My relaxed state disappears.

 

I do regular breaks.

We’re not machines. I do regular breaks of trampoline, walking, and eating fresh food in-between hours of writing on the weekend.

 

I outsource stuff I’m bad at.

If I do things I’m horrible at, I do them badly. This stops me from working smart and can cause negativity. That’s why I outsource stuff I’m bad at wherever possible.

 

I get enough sleep.

7 hours works for me. You have to sleep otherwise you’ll get tired which will cause negativity and a poor quality of work. This “sleep when you’re dead” tend is a fallacy.

 

I value you my time.

I’ve placed a very high dollar value on my time. Because I consciously value it, I’m always reconciling how much time I have. By valuing your time, you become aware of it. You can’t focus on something you are not aware of.

 

I do phone first, instead of coffee catch-ups.

LinkedIn sends me multiple requests a day for coffee catch ups. Most of them don’t state any valid reason for the catch-up. Now if you just say no to them all you could be missing out on the gift of socializing, learning new things and meeting people you can do business with.

The hack I use is this: Always do the first conversation via phone. That way you can tell if there is value or a need for a coffee catch up.

Second hack: do a video call instead of an audio-only call. Video lets you see the other person and connect better. It’s more personal and you’ll quickly figure out if you need that coffee after all. I personally don’t drink coffee, so these sort of catch ups take me out of rapport with the other person from the start.

 

Happy partner, happy life.

I spend less time arguing because I do stuff that my partner wants to do even if I don’t. She does the same. This way everybody wins and I don’t need to waste time arguing and lighting a fire under my mindset that causes me to want to evacuate to the world of temptation (coffee, Netflix, games, useless crap).

 

I cheat on my phone regularly.

That’s right! I sleep around with any activity that doesn’t involve looking at my phone.

“The small glass window of my phone feels like such a tiny part of what the world has to offer. I choose to look out of the window of life instead and see limitless possibility”

 

I do exercise to boost my mindset.

Being smart is only possible when you have a positive mindset served on the side. Exercise has helped me relieve stress and get back to feeling good again. Do it.

 

I don’t allow people to steal my time.

People will gladly rob you of your time and waste it. They do this primarily because they have their own selfish goals, or they’re bored with life and wasting your time makes them feel better. Prosecute these time thieves’ by telling them your expectations and referencing your calendar if you have to.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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