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Too Much Personal Development Is Not Good

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Some of you just wet your pants and now want to kill me. That’s okay, I’m a big boy now. I’m supposed to be the Gen Y poster boy for personal development so why would I say such a horrible thing like that?

Like anything, it’s because that statement is true. Too much personal development is not good for you. Social media tells us we have to keep growing every minute of every day. I agree we need to keep growing, but you can overdo it.

Too much personal development makes you one of those over-achievers that can’t shut up for even five minutes about how much they’ve got done for the day.

At cocktail parties, they keep dropping in the lines about how hard they work and how awesome their hustle is. I switch off when I hear this sort of talk.

The world doesn’t necessarily need more personal development; what the world needs are:

1. More people prepared to give everything of themselves and get nothing in return
2. More people willing to help a brother or sister out when they are in need
3. More people to flip problems on their head and solve them in new ways
4. More people that are obsessed with teaching the art of love

Okay, the last one was a little soft for a bloke, but you always ask me for the truth and I’m going to give it to you like a cold shower at 4 am on a Monday morning when you are freezing your tits off.

Be present

Instead of overdosing on personal development, concentrate on being more present. You’re here some of the time, but when you do too much personal development, you are in your head a lot. That’s because too much personal development causes you to live in the future and become obsessed with progress.

How does Uncle Tim know all of this? I know all of this because what I’m describing is what I suffered from.

I was the guy that woke up at 4 am, wrote a bunch of inspiring articles, did some exercise, drank green juice and threw on a Tony Robbin’s audiobook. I still do a lot of these tasks now. The key is that I don’t overdo it anymore.

“Being obsessed with personal development causes this over-achieving disease that our younger generation seems to have become addicted to. You don’t need to hustle and work 10X every moment of the day”

These are great disciplines to have but they have been taken out of proportion to what really matters in life. I’d rather you got home from the office each day and looked at your significant other in the eyes and told them how you felt about them.

I’d rather you gave some of your time each day to come back to right now and know that this very breath you are taking in this moment will never come back again.

I’d rather you realized the beauty in now instead of being sold the dream that the beauty will be here tomorrow, or in a year when you achieve more than your next door neighbor, or brother or sister has achieved.

Love a bit

While we overdose on personal development, we take away time to love a bit. Loving what we have and loving other people is a commitment of time. Just saying I love you to someone once in your life and proving it once, is not enough.

For you to truly demonstrate the act of love, you need to allocate time to it. Love is one of the few currencies you have been given to spend, and to share. Having more love in your life is about giving more of it. It requires you to think outside of your own selfish wants and desires and focus on someone else’s.

Too much personal development is, in a way, a demonstration of one’s selfishness. When we overdose on personal development, we show the world we are in love with ourselves in an egotistical way. We show the world that all we care about is bettering ourselves and that we don’t have time to love.

As I’ve said already, personal development is phenomenal just don’t overdose on it like I did.

Get over yourself

I didn’t pump out 200 reps of bench press yesterday. I know I’m a freaking disappointment to the world aren’t I? How dare I be into personal development and do anything less than a Spartan workout before breakfast. How dare I not push my chest out and show all the progress I’ve achieved at the gym.

I got news for everyone who hasn’t heard this: no one cares about what you have achieved. What they care about is who you are becoming and what sort of a person you already are. Take your Fitbit’s and your apps that track your reps and put them where the sun doesn’t shine.

You and your amazing Instagram life are boring. We’re all peeping in at this life and asking “Yeah but what’s in it for me?”

That’s the real truth right there.

“All your progress means nothing if humankind doesn’t get to progress or benefit as well”

What can you replace too much personal development with?

For me, I’ve replaced too much personal development with asking myself the following life questions:

– What is the meaning of my life?
– Why do I do what I do?
– How can I give more and create more value for those around me?
– If all of this ended tomorrow, would I be proud of myself?
– How do I love more?

Questions like these lead to new pursuits and give you a new priority in your life. When you understand that you are only a small part of this universe and that you are designed to contribute something of significance, your perspective changes.

The one success tip I constantly seem to keep giving is that it’s not about you. Part of that statement is a reminder to myself not to get caught up in my own perceived awesomeness and I encourage you to see that advice in the same way.

So quit trying to outdo everyone because it’s killing your success and it’s done the same to me. Personal development is not a competition or a cult.

Personal development is designed to help you make little steps each day so you can: uncover your purpose, find more ways to give, be fulfilled in life and love more than you have ever loved before.

I want you to remember these truths the next time you overdose on personal development and find yourself bragging on social media about how much you love it!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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