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The 3 Vital Steps Of The Apprenticeship Phase In Mastering Anything

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This post is an excerpt from Mastery by Robert Greene (Viking). Mastery is the latest book from the bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, and The 50th Law.

In the stories of the greatest Masters, past and present, we can inevitably detect a phase in their lives in which all of their future powers were in development, like the chrysalis of a butterfly. This part of their lives—a largely self-directed apprenticeship that lasts some five to ten years—receives little attention because it does not contain stories of great achievement or discovery. Often in their Apprenticeship Phase, these types are not yet much different from anyone else. Under the surface, however, their minds are transforming in ways we cannot see but contain all of the seeds of their future success.

Much of how such Masters navigate this phase comes from an intuitive grasp of what is most important and essential for their development, but in studying what they did right we can learn some invaluable lessons for ourselves. In fact, a close examination of their lives reveals a pattern that transcends their various fields, indicating a kind of Ideal Apprenticeship for mastery. And to grasp this pattern, to follow it in our own ways, we must understand something about the very idea and necessity for passing through an apprenticeship.

In childhood we are inculcated in culture through a long period of dependency—far longer than any other animal. During this period we learn language, writing, math, and reasoning skills, along with a few others. Much of this happens under the watchful and loving guidance of parents and teachers. As we get older, greater emphasis is placed on book learning—absorbing as much information as possible about various subjects. Such knowledge of history, science, or literature is abstract, and the process of learning largely involves passive absorption. At the end of this process (usually somewhere between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five) we are then thrust into the cold, harsh work world to fend for ourselves.

When we emerge from the youthful state of dependency, we are not really ready to handle the transition to an entirely independent phase. We carry with us the habit of learning from books or teachers, which is largely unsuited for the practical, self-directed phase of life that comes next. We tend to be somewhat socially naïve and unprepared for the political games people play. Still uncertain as to our identity, we think that what matters in the work world is gaining attention and making friends. And these misconceptions and naïveté are brutally exposed in the light of the real world.

If we adjust over time, we might eventually find our way; but if we make too many mistakes, we create endless problems for ourselves. We spend too much time entangled in emotional issues, and we never quite have enough detachment to reflect and learn from our experiences. The apprenticeship, by its very nature, must be conducted by each individual in his or her own way. To follow precisely the lead of others or advice from a book is self-defeating. This is the phase in life in which we finally declare our independence and establish who we are. But for this second education in our lives, so critical to our future success, there are some powerful and essential lessons that we all can benefit from, that can guide us away from common mistakes and save us valuable time.

These lessons transcend all fields and historical periods because they are connected to something essential about human psychology and how the brain itself functions. They can be distilled into one overarching principle for the Apprenticeship Phase, and a process that loosely follows three steps.

The principle is simple and must be engraved deeply in your mind: the goal of an apprenticeship is not money, a good position, a title, or a diploma, but rather the transformation of your mind and character—the first transformation on the way to mastery. You enter a career as an outsider. You are naïve and full of misconceptions about this new world. Your head is full of dreams and fantasies about the future. Your knowledge of the world is subjective, based on emotions, insecurities, and limited experience. Slowly, you will ground yourself in reality, in the objective world represented by the knowledge and skills that make people successful in it. You will learn how to work with others and handle criticism. In the process you will transform yourself from someone who is impatient and scattered into someone who is disciplined and focused, with a mind that can handle complexity. In the end, you will master yourself and all of your weaknesses.

This has a simple consequence: you must choose places of work and positions that offer the greatest possibilities for learning. Practical knowledge is the ultimate commodity, and is what will pay you dividends for decades to come—far more than the paltry increase in pay you might receive at some seemingly lucrative position that offers fewer learning opportunities. This means that you move toward challenges that will toughen and improve you, where you will get the most objective feedback on your performance and progress. You do not choose apprenticeships that seem easy and comfortable.

In this sense you must see yourself as following in the footsteps of Charles Darwin. You are finally on your own, on a voyage in which you will craft your own future. It is the time of youth and adventure—of exploring the world with an open mind and spirit. In fact, whenever you must learn a new skill or alter your career path later in life, you reconnect with that youthful, adventurous part of yourself. Darwin could have played it safe, collecting what was necessary, and spending more time on board studying instead of actively exploring. In that case, he would not have become an illustrious scientist, but just another collector. He constantly looked for challenges, pushing himself past his comfort zone. He used danger and difficulties as a way to measure his progress. You must adopt such a spirit and see your apprenticeship as a kind of journey in which you will transform yourself, rather than as a drab indoctrination into the work world.

 

The Apprenticeship Phase — The Three Steps or Modes

With the principle outlined above guiding you in your choices, you must think of three essential steps in your apprenticeship, each one overlapping the other. These steps are: Deep Observation (The Passive Mode), Skills Acquisition (The Practice Mode), and Experimentation (The Active Mode). Keep in mind that an apprenticeship can come in many different forms. It can happen at one place over several years, or it can consist of several different positions in different places, a kind of compound apprenticeship involving many different skills. It can include a mix of graduate school and practical experience. In all of these cases, it will help you to think in terms of these steps, although you may need to give added weight to a particular one depending on the nature of your field.

 

Step One: Deep Observation—The Passive Mode

When you enter a career or new environment, you move into a world with its own rules, procedures, and social dynamic. For decades or even centuries, people have compiled knowledge of how to get things done in a particular field, each generation improving on the past. In addition, every workplace has its own conventions, rules of behavior, and work standards. There are also all kinds of power relationships that exist between individuals. All of this represents a reality that transcends your individual needs and desires. And so your task upon entering this world is to observe and absorb its reality as deeply as possible.

The greatest mistake you can make in the initial months of your apprenticeship is to imagine that you have to get attention, impress people, and prove yourself. These thoughts will dominate your mind and close it off from the reality around you. Any positive attention you receive is deceptive; it is not based on your skills or anything real, and it will turn against you. Instead, you will want to acknowledge the reality and submit to it, muting your colors and keeping in the background as much as possible, remaining passive and giving yourself the space to observe. You will also want to drop any preconceptions you might have about this world you are entering. If you impress people in these first months, it should be because of the seriousness of your desire to learn, not because you are trying to rise to the top before you are ready.

You will be observing two essential realities in this new world. First, you will observe the rules and procedures that govern success in this environment—in other words, “this is how we do things here.” Some of these rules will be communicated to you directly—generally the ones that are superficial and largely a matter of common sense. You must pay attention to these and observe them, but what is of more interest are the rules that are unstated and are part of the underlying work culture. These concern style and values that are considered important. They are often a reflection of the character of the man or woman on top.

You can observe such rules by looking at those who are on their way up in the hierarchy, who have a golden touch. More tellingly, you can observe those who are more awkward, who have been chastised for particular mistakes or even been fired. Such examples serve as negative trip wires: do things this way and you will suffer.

The second reality you will observe is the power relationships that exist within the group: who has real control; through whom do all communications flow; who is on the rise and who is on the decline. These procedural and political rules may be dysfunctional or counterproductive, but your job is not to moralize about this or complain, but merely to understand them, to get a complete lay of the land. You are like an anthropologist studying an alien culture, attuned to all of its nuances and conventions. You are not there to change that culture; you will only end up being killed, or in the case of work, fired. Later, when you have attained power and mastery, you will be the one to rewrite or destroy these same rules.

Every task you are given, no matter how menial, offers opportunities to observe this world at work. No detail about the people within it is too trivial. Everything you see or hear is a sign for you to decode. Over time, you will begin to see and understand more of the reality that eluded you at first. For instance, a person whom you initially thought had great power ended up being someone with more bark than bite. Slowly, you begin to see behind the appearances. As you amass more information about the rules and power dynamics of your new environment, you can begin to analyze why they exist, and how they relate to larger trends in the field. You move from observation to analysis, honing your reasoning skills, but only after months of careful attention.

We can see how Charles Darwin followed this step quite clearly. By spending the first few months studying life on board the ship and perceiving the unwritten rules, he made his time for science much more productive. By enabling himself to fit in, he was able to avoid needless battles that would have later disrupted his scientific work, not to mention the emotional turmoil these would have presented to him. He later practiced the same technique with gauchos and other local communities he came in contact with. This allowed him to extend the regions he could explore and the specimens he could collect. On another level, he slowly transformed himself into perhaps the most astute observer of nature the world has ever known. Emptying himself of any preconceptions about life and its origins, Darwin trained himself to see things as they are. He did not theorize or generalize about what he was seeing until he had amassed enough information. Submitting to and absorbing the reality of all aspects of this voyage, he ended up piercing one of the most fundamental realities of all—the evolution of all living forms.

Understand: there are several critical reasons why you must follow this step. First, knowing your environment inside and out will help you in navigating it and avoiding costly mistakes. You are like a hunter: your knowledge of every detail of the forest and of the ecosystem as a whole will give you many more options for survival and success. Second, the ability to observe any unfamiliar environment will become a critical lifelong skill. You will develop the habit of stilling your ego and looking outward instead of inward. You will see in any encounter what most people miss because they are thinking of themselves. You will cultivate a keen eye for human psychology, and strengthen your ability to focus. Finally, you will become accustomed to observing first, basing your ideas and theories on what you have seen with your eyes, and then analyzing what you find. This will be a very important skill for the next, creative phase in life.

 

Step Two: Skills Acquisition—The Practice Mode

At some point, as you progress through the initial months of observation required in an apprenticeship, you will enter a critical stage: practice toward the acquisition of skills. Every human activity, endeavor, or career path involves the mastering of skills. In some fields, it is direct and obvious, like operating a tool or machine or creating something physical. In others, it is more of a mix of the physical and mental, such as the observing and collecting of specimens for Charles Darwin. In still others, the skills are more nebulous, such as handling people or researching and organizing information. As much as possible, you want to reduce these skills to something simple and essential—the core of what you need to get good at, skills that can be practiced.

In acquiring any kind of skill, there exists a natural learning process that coincides with the functioning of our brains. This learning process leads to what we shall call tacit knowledge—a feeling for what you are doing that is hard to put into words but easy to demonstrate in action. And to understand how this learning process operates, it is useful to look at the greatest system ever invented for the training of skills and the achievement of tacit knowledge—the apprenticeship system of the Middle Ages. This system arose as a solution to a problem: As business expanded in the Middle Ages, Masters of various crafts could no longer depend on family members to work in the shop. They needed more hands. But it was not worth it for them to bring in people who would come and go—they needed stability and time to build up skills in their workers. And so they developed the apprenticeship system, in which young people from approximately the ages of twelve to seventeen would enter work in a shop, signing a contract that would commit them for the term of seven years. At the end of this term, apprentices would have to pass a master test, or produce a master work, to prove their level of skill. Once passed, they were now elevated to the rank of journeymen and could travel wherever there was work, practicing the craft.

Because few books or drawings existed at the time, apprentices would learn the trade by watching Masters and imitating them as closely as possible. They learned through endless repetition and hands-on work, with very little verbal instruction (the word “apprentice” itself comes from the Latin prehendere, meaning to grasp with the hand). Because resources such as textiles, wood, and metals were expensive and could not be wasted on practice runs, apprentices would spend most of their time working directly on materials that would be used for the final product. They had to learn how to focus deeply on their work and not make mistakes.

If one added up the time that apprentices ended up working directly on materials in those years, it would amount to more than 10,000 hours, enough to establish exceptional skill level at a craft. The power of this form of tacit knowledge is embodied in the great Gothic cathedrals of Europe—masterpieces of beauty, craftsmanship, and stability, all erected without blueprints or books. These cathedrals represented the accumulated skills of numerous craftsmen and engineers.

What this means is simple: language, oral and written, is a relatively recent invention. Well before that time, our ancestors had to learn various skills—toolmaking, hunting, and so forth. The natural model for learning, largely based on the power of mirror neurons, came from watching and imitating others, then repeating the action over and over. Our brains are suited for this form of learning. In an activity such as riding a bicycle, we all know that it is easier to watch someone and follow their lead than to listen to or read instructions. The more we do it, the easier it becomes. Even with skills that are primarily mental, such as computer programming or speaking a foreign language, it remains the case that we learn best through practice and repetition—the natural learning process. We learn a foreign language by actually speaking it as much as possible, not by reading books and absorbing theories. The more we speak and practice, the more fluent we become.

Once you take this far enough, you enter a cycle of accelerated returns in which the practice becomes easier and more interesting, leading to the ability to practice for longer hours, which increases your skill level, which in turn makes practice even more interesting. Reaching this cycle is the goal you must set for yourself, and to get there you must understand some basic principles about skills themselves.

First, it is essential that you begin with one skill that you can master, and that serves as a foundation for acquiring others. You must avoid at all cost the idea that you can manage learning several skills at a time. You need to develop your powers of concentration, and understand that trying to multi task will be the death of the process.

Second, the initial stages of learning a skill invariably involve tedium. Yet rather than avoiding this inevitable tedium, you must accept and embrace it. The pain and boredom we experience in the initial stage of learning a skill toughens our minds, much like physical exercise. Too many people believe that everything must be pleasurable in life, which makes them constantly search for distractions and short-circuits the learning process. The pain is a kind of challenge your mind presents—will you learn how to focus and move past the boredom, or like a child will you succumb to the need for immediate pleasure and distraction? Much as with physical exercise, you can even get a kind of perverse pleasure out of this pain, knowing the benefits it will bring you. In any event, you must meet any boredom head-on and not try to avoid or repress it. Throughout your life you will encounter tedious situations, and you must cultivate the ability to handle them with discipline.

In practicing a skill in the initial stages, something happens neurologically to the brain that is important for you to understand. When you start something new, a large number of neurons in the frontal cortex (the higher, more conscious command area of the brain) are recruited and become active, helping you in the learning process. The brain has to deal with a large amount of new information, and this would be stressful and overwhelming if only a limited part of the brain were used to handle it. The frontal cortex even expands in size in this initial phase, as we focus hard on the task. But once something is repeated often enough, it becomes hardwired and automatic, and the neural pathways for this skill are delegated to other parts of the brain, farther down the cortex. Those neurons in the frontal cortex that we needed in the initial stages are now freed up to help in learning something else, and the area goes back to its normal size.

In the end, an entire network of neurons is developed to remember this single task, which accounts for the fact that we can still ride a bicycle years after we first learned how to do so. If we were to take a look at the frontal cortex of those who have mastered something through repetition, it would be remarkably still and inactive as they performed the skill. All of their brain activity is occurring in areas that are lower down and require much less conscious control.

This process of hardwiring cannot occur if you are constantly distracted, moving from one task to another. In such a case, the neural pathways dedicated to this skill never get established; what you learn is too tenuous to remain rooted in the brain. It is better to dedicate two or three hours of intense focus to a skill than to spend eight hours of diffused concentration on it. You want to be as immediately present to what you are doing as possible.

Once an action becomes automatic, you now have the mental space to observe yourself as you practice. You must use this distance to take note of your weaknesses or flaws that need correction—to analyze yourself. It helps also to gain as much feedback as possible from others, to have standards against which you can measure your progress so that you are aware of how far you have to go. People who do not practice and learn new skills never gain a proper sense of proportion or self-criticism. They think they can achieve anything without effort and have little contact with reality. Trying something over and over again grounds you in reality, making you deeply aware of your inadequacies and of what you can accomplish with more work and effort.

If you take this far enough, you will naturally enter the cycle of accelerated returns: As you learn and gain skills you can begin to vary what you do, finding nuances that you can develop in the work, so that it becomes more interesting. As elements become more automatic your mind is not exhausted by the effort and you can practice harder, which in turn brings greater skill and more pleasure. You can look for challenges, new areas to conquer, keeping your interest at a high level. As the cycle accelerates, you can reach a point where your mind is totally absorbed in the practice, entering a kind of flow in which everything else is blocked out. You become one with the tool or instrument or thing you are studying. Your skill is not something that can be put into words; it is embedded in your body and nervous system—it becomes tacit knowledge. Learning any kind of skill deeply prepares you for mastery. The sensation of flow and of being a part of the instrument is a precursor to the great pleasures that mastery can bring.

In essence, when you practice and develop any skill you transform yourself in the process. You reveal to yourself new capabilities that were previously latent, that are exposed as you progress. You develop emotionally. Your sense of pleasure becomes redefined. What offers immediate pleasure comes to seem like a distraction, an empty entertainment to help pass the time. Real pleasure comes from overcoming challenges, feeling confidence in your abilities, gaining fluency in skills, and experiencing the power this brings. You develop patience. Boredom no longer signals the need for distraction, but rather the need for new challenges to conquer.

Although it might seem that the time necessary to master the requisite skills and attain a level of expertise would depend on the field and your own talent level, those who have researched the subject repeatedly come up with the number of 10,000 hours. This seems to be the amount of quality practice time that is needed for someone to reach a high level of skill and it applies to composers, chess players, writers, and athletes, among others. This number has an almost magical or mystical resonance to it. It means that so much practice time—no matter the person or the field—leads to a qualitative change in the human brain. The mind has learned to organize and structure large amounts of information. With all of this tacit knowledge, it can now become creative and playful with it. Although the number of hours might seem high, it generally adds up to seven to ten years of sustained, solid practice—roughly the period of a traditional apprenticeship. In other words, concentrated practice over time cannot fail but produce results.

 

Step Three: Experimentation—The Active Mode

This is the shortest part of the process, but a critical component nonetheless. As you gain in skill and confidence, you must make the move to a more active mode of experimentation. This could mean taking on more responsibility, initiating a project of some sort, doing work that exposes you to the criticisms of peers or even the public. The point of this is to gauge your progress and whether there are still gaps in your knowledge. You are observing yourself in action and seeing how you respond to the judgments of others. Can you take criticism and use it constructively?

With Charles Darwin, as the voyage progressed and he began to entertain the notions that would lead to his theory of evolution, he decided to expose his ideas to others. First, on the Beagle, he discussed them with the captain and patiently absorbed his vehement criticisms of the idea. This, Darwin told himself, would be more or less the reaction of the public, and he would have to prepare himself for that. He also began to write letters to various scientists and scientific societies back in England. The responses he received indicated he was on to something, but that he would need some more research. For Leonardo da Vinci, as he progressed in his studio work for Verrocchio, he began to experiment and to assert his own style. He found to his surprise that the Master was impressed with his inventiveness. For Leonardo, this indicated that he was near the end of his apprenticeship.

Most people wait too long to take this step, generally out of fear. It is always easier to learn the rules and stay within your comfort zone. Often you must force yourself to initiate such actions or experiments before you think you are ready. You are testing your character, moving past your fears, and developing a sense of detachment to your work—looking at it through the eyes of others. You are getting a taste for the next phase in which what you produce will be under constant scrutiny.

You will know when your apprenticeship is over by the feeling that you have nothing left to learn in this environment. It is time to declare your independence or move to another place to continue your apprenticeship and expand your skill base. Later in life, when you are confronted with a career change or the need to learn new skills, having gone through this process before, it will become second nature. You have learned how to learn.

 

Robert Greene is an American author and speaker known for his books on strategy, power and seduction. He has written four international bestsellers: The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, and The 50th Law.

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Success Advice

Microlearning: The Journey from Brief Knowledge to Enormous Learning Results

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

In contemporary society, traditional learning formats are being complemented by microlearning. Many people struggle to maintain their attention during long lectures, courses, or webinars. As a result, many individuals are moving towards microlearning formats. This new, modern approach is based on short, concise chunks of knowledge. These chunks can be absorbed in just a few minutes and effectively applied in practice.

This new learning model is applicable in all areas, from corporate training to self-improvement. The main goals of microlearning are quick, relevant learning at a convenient time.

The Concept of Microlearning

Microlearning is a recent approach that consists of breaking material into small and self-contained units of knowledge (modules). Each unit is no longer than 10 minutes, solves a specific problem, or teaches a single skill.

Examples include:

  • Short video instructions
  • Flashcards with quizzes or tests
  • Mini-guides in chat format
  • Interactive simulators
  • An AI assistant that explains a single concept

In many cases, students and learners do not need to read everything or reread a whole book or document, but rather can use a book summarizer, or an AI tool to extract important information in that chapter, and receive everything they need to know within 5 minutes.

Microlearning is not meant to replace education. Its primary goal is to facilitate integrating education into our everyday lives.

Why Microlearning Is Popular

This format’s popularity is growing rapidly. New micro learning apps are appearing, AI assistants and tools for quickly summarizing large volumes of information are being developed, and so on.

This rapid popularization of microlearning is due to several factors:

  • Information overload
  • Decreased attention span
  • The need to learn on the go
  • The digitalization of work
  • Mobile learning
  • AI development
  • Modernization of learning automation

Modern people value not just knowing a lot, but knowing exactly what’s useful right now. Microlearning fits this philosophy perfectly. You can learn accurately, quickly, and with practical application thanks to a modern microlearning solution accessible to everyone.

The Scientific Basis of Microlearning Principles

Microlearning isn’t just a passing fad. It’s the result of rigorous research in cognitive psychology and learning theory. Scientists claim that the human brain processes and remembers information better and more effectively if it is:

  • Broken down into small, logical chunks
  • Repeated at regular intervals
  • Accompanied by practice
  • Reinforced with feedback

A modern approach to learning not only improves the retention of material but also increases a person’s motivation to learn. Seeing how learning produces quick results creates the effect of small victories. And so, you want to move forward, master new material, and reach new heights.

The Combination of Microlearning and Modern Technologies

When studying microlearning examples, it’s important to emphasize that this method is perfectly combined with modern technologies. Thanks to AI platforms, this format has become not just trendy but extremely effective.

First, artificial intelligence allows for adapting learning material to a person’s current level of knowledge. Second, AI assistants analyze current progress and generate personalized recommendations. Third, AI can transform large texts into short learning units to create microlearning content and utilize it most effectively.

The example of the AI book chapter summarizer confirms that this tool creates concise and structured summaries from book chapters. This is the ideal and most optimal data format for microlearning. AI is gradually becoming an increasingly effective learning partner. These platforms don’t simply provide necessary information; they help transform it into action and improve understanding.

Microlearning Use Cases

In practice, microlearning already touches many areas of human activity. We can highlight the most popular ones.

  • Corporate training. Microlearning is in high demand in companies due to accelerated onboarding, upskilling, and training of employees in new technologies. Using short and interactive lessons, staff can complete courses without interrupting their workflow or current tasks.
  • Online courses and EdTech. Specialized platforms allow microlearning as a primary format. This allows users to learn sequentially, gradually, and without being overwhelmed.
  • Co-learning. Microlearning is an ideal tool for personal development. It can be used to learn new languages, develop writing skills, do data analysis, and much more. Even watching 5-minute tutorials every day can quickly create a learning habit.

Therefore, micro learning is rapidly gaining popularity and can serve as an effective alternative to traditional teaching methods.

Key Benefits of Microlearning

There are several key advantages of this new learning format:

  • Rapid information acquisition. Our brains absorb new information better in short blocks than in longer lectures.
  • Higher motivation. Each mini-lesson represents a small goal or task to be accomplished. Quickly hitting a goal spikes motivation.
  • Easier access and flexibility. Each learner gets to choose when and how to experience their training — in the morning with a cup of coffee, on the way to work, before bed, etc.
  • Customization. AI tools can help make content personalized in a way that accounts for a person’s rate, interests, and current level of knowledge.
  • Better productivity. The knowledge gained from mini-lessons can be put into practice faster and with minimal effort.

Clearly, the modern microlearning format offers significant advantages and opens up excellent prospects for self-development and the rapid acquisition of new skills.

Common Mistakes in Implementing Microlearning

Although this teaching method appears simple, a carefully thought-out structure is crucial. People often make the same mistakes.

First, topics are too superficial without context. Second, there are no connections between lessons. This results in lost learning. A third common mistake is overloading content without systematic repetition. And a fourth problem is undervaluing feedback. It’s important for people to see results.

Final Thoughts

Microlearning provides us with a chance to completely restructure our concept of conventional learning. This is because learning is much more natural, flexible, and tailored than ever. However, most importantly, we have an opportunity to learn new facts and information in the fast-paced world of modernity. The level of AI and analytics has resulted in microlearning being more personalized and accessible to everyone.

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Success Advice

What to do when you have already made it and feel stuck

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Life often feels finished. That is usually when it starts costing you.

Last week I spoke with a man who seems to have it figured out. A nice business, a team that does not need him in every meeting, the house sorted, a wife who still likes him, which is more than a lot of the men I talk to can say. Halfway through he went quiet and admitted he feels like he is managing a life he signed up for ten years ago. Not miserable. Done growing. A little embarrassed to say it, because what is he supposed to complain about.

The scoreboard does not notice

I knew the feeling before he finished the sentence. Addicted2Success started as a blog in Perth when I was young enough to think the answer to everything was more output. It worked. The site grew, the audience grew, the coaching grew, and for a long time the scoreboard was kind enough to tell me I was on the right track. What it never does is send a note when you have started hiding. You can be posting, closing, travelling, and saying true things on the internet while becoming a slightly smaller man than you were two years ago. Nobody around you is going to flag it. They are responding to the results, and results only show what you already pulled off, not what the last year has been doing to you.

The men in these conversations are not stuck at the starting line. They have the income, the title, the reputation. Under it, a low-grade sense that they have been repeating themselves. The advice they grew up on does not touch that. Wake up earlier. Want it more. Outwork the room. I gave a version of that advice for years, and some of it was fair when someone had not started. It is useless once the room already knows your name. Past a certain point, more effort just maintains the life you have already outgrown.

It looks like leadership

When they are honest, it is ordinary. They are carrying the whole thing alone, not because nobody would help, but because letting someone close enough to challenge them would mean admitting a few decisions have gone soft. So they stay the smartest person in their own week. That feels like leadership. It functions like a closed loop. I did a long stretch of this. If someone disagreed with me I could usually out-talk them, and I mistook that for being right. The business did not collapse, which is what makes it hard to catch. Things can be working while you remain basically unaccountable. A lot of the signs people read as failure are the early version of this.

Home gets what is left

Work got the sharp hours. My wife got the man who had already spent the best of himself on a laptop. You can narrate that as provision for a long time. Tell yourself you are building something for them. Some days that is even true. It still does not change what they receive, which is a tired person who needs the room to be quiet. It holds until you have a kid who does not care what you shipped, or until you lose someone and realise the hours were never coming back. After Harper I stopped being able to treat time like something I could earn more of. Fatherhood finished whatever argument I had left. My son does not experience my ambition. He experiences whether I was in the room. He cannot tell the difference between a father who is building a legacy and a father who is on his phone. Neither can yours.

Reasonable is how it gets boring

Then there is the comfort, which everyone dresses up as wisdom. You postpone the move. You keep the offer that is fine. You say you are being strategic when you are mostly avoiding the feeling of being a beginner again. The edge does not vanish in a week. It goes over a year of reasonable decisions, and reasonable is how a lot of good lives get boring. I have watched men research a change for a year and a half. A new model, a new city, a new standard at home. The research becomes the thing they do instead of the change. It feels responsible. It has notes.

I used to have a clean system for this. It looked good in a carousel. What actually changed things was smaller and more annoying, and it only worked when I got specific.

Write the sentence you would not post

Not “I need better balance.” That is a sentence you can hide in. One line, the way you would say it if nobody was going to screenshot it. I am building in public and going missing at home. I have known this offer is done and I keep running it because the cash is easy. I have not let anyone challenge me since the last person who did, and I pushed them out. Put it where you will see it. The point is to stop negotiating with a foggy version of the problem. You cannot fix a foggy version. You will just buy another course about it.

Look at that sentence when you are not already fried. I wasted years making big calls late, after a full day of other people’s needs, then wondering why I always chose the option that protected the current setup. You are not wise when you are depleted. You are conservative. Pick a pocket of time this week when you still have a brain, phone in another room, and ask what you are protecting by leaving it as it is, and what it costs the people who do not get a vote in your calendar. If you catch yourself performing the answer, like you are drafting a caption, delete it and start again.

Take back one hour that has a name

Not a new morning routine. Men at this stage love a routine, because a routine feels like progress and does not threaten the life. Pick a repeatable hour that is already losing and give it a job. Dinner with the phone in a drawer. A walk with your wife where you do not steer it back to the business. Time with your kid before the laptop opens. The tactic is the boundary, not the activity. Tell one person what the hour is. If you miss it, you tell them the same day, without a story. The story is how it dies. A client emergency three weeks in a row is the old life collecting its rent. Being the person who agrees is how that hour gets given away before you notice.

Have the conversation, then date the move

There is almost always a conversation you have been drafting. A spouse you have been managing instead of talking to. A partner you have been working around. A number you have not said out loud, because saying it makes the next move real. Do not workshop it into a speech. Two sentences of what you have been avoiding, then stop talking long enough for them to answer. The men who stay stuck are usually eloquent about the problem and silent in the room where it could change. Eloquence is a delay tactic I have used plenty.

Then date the move that makes the current income nervous, and put it sooner than feels comfortable. One move. Kill the offer, raise the price, hire the person, have the hard no, book the conversation you have been waiting on the right week for. If it needs more than a couple of weeks of preparation, you are probably preparing past the point of usefulness. Let it be clumsy. The old identity will have a very reasonable case for why this stretch is not the one. It always does. It has been getting paid to keep things as they are.

You need one person who is not impressed

None of that works alone, which is inconvenient, since alone is the setup that got you here. You need one person who is not impressed by you. Not a mastermind. Not an audience. Not a coach you are performing progress for. Someone who can ask whether the phone actually stayed in the drawer, and who will not clap if the answer is no. Most of the men I know have plenty of people who benefit from them staying impressive. Employees, followers, friends who like the version that has it together. Almost nobody who is allowed to interrupt it. Ask someone specific if you can send them one sentence about whether you did the thing. If you do not send it, they chase you. That is the whole agreement. If you cannot think of a person, that is not a small detail. That is the closed loop, and finding the person is the first move.

I am not interested in telling you to burn the life down. A lot of what you built is worth keeping. The business can stay. The standard has to change, or you will spend the next ten years maintaining a life you already know you are done growing inside. What I care about is whether the man who benefits from it can still sit at the table with the people who paid for it. Your wife. Your kids. Whatever you say you believe when the content needs a spine. If those do not survive the win, the win was just a very well-paid way of leaving.

You already know which of these you have been talking yourself out of. Start with the sentence. The rest gets easier to see once you stop describing the problem in a way that lets you keep it.

In this video I speak about how you may be keeping yourself stuck in high achiever patterns and what you can do to change it:

 

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Success Advice

Icarus Syndrome: How to Catch Yourself When Success Comes Crashing Down

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

You know the story. A guy gets wings made of feathers and wax, dad tells him not to fly too close to the sun, guy ignores dad, wings melt, guy falls into the sea. Classic.

But here’s the thing about Icarus. He didn’t crash because he failed. He crashed because he was doing so well.

That’s the part we don’t talk about enough.

What Icarus Syndrome Actually Looks Like

Icarus Syndrome isn’t some official diagnosis you’ll find in a medical textbook. It’s more of a pattern. And once you spot it, you start seeing it everywhere.

Picture this: someone lands the promotion they’ve been chasing for years. Suddenly they’re saying yes to everything. More projects, more travel, more risk. The confidence that got them there starts to tip over into something else. Overreach, maybe. A bit of arrogance. That quiet voice that used to say “hang on, is this a good idea?” goes strangely silent.

And then it all comes tumbling down.

The tricky bit is that success and self-destruction can look almost identical from the outside. Both involve ambition. Both involve pushing hard. The difference is usually invisible until it’s too late.

Why Winning Can Set You Up to Lose

Ever noticed how a winning streak makes people a little reckless? There’s actually a reason for that.

When things go well, our brains get a hit of confidence that doesn’t always match reality. We start believing our own hype. The wins feel like proof that we can’t lose, which is exactly the moment we’re most likely to.

Turns out, success shrinks your awareness. You stop questioning yourself. You stop listening to feedback because, well, look at all this evidence that you’re right. The people who used to challenge your thinking? You might start tuning them out.

The other day someone told me they’d made their worst decisions not when they were struggling, but when everything was going great. That stuck with me. Because it makes a weird kind of sense.

Struggle keeps you humble. Success can make you forget.

The Warning Signs Worth Watching For

So how do you catch yourself before the wax starts dripping?

It usually starts small. You notice you’re brushing off advice you’d normally take seriously. You’re taking on more than you can realistically handle, but telling yourself you’ve got it. You feel a bit untouchable, like the normal rules don’t apply to you anymore.

Sleep goes out the window. You’re running on adrenaline and calling it drive.

And maybe the biggest one: you stop asking for help because asking for help feels like admitting you’re not as on top of things as everyone thinks.

This part’s a bit uncomfortable, but the very traits that fuel success, the ambition, the drive, the refusal to quit, are the same ones that can quietly steer you off a cliff. Same wings, different outcome.

Pulling Yourself Back From the Sun

Okay, so what do you actually do about it?

First, get honest about the story you’re telling yourself. Are you flying high because things are genuinely solid, or because you’ve stopped checking? There’s a difference, and only you can tell which one it is.

Keep people around who’ll tell you the truth. Not the yes-people who clap at everything, but the ones who’ll gently say “mate, are you sure about this?” Those people are worth their weight in gold, and they get rarer the more successful you become.

Slow down enough to notice how you’re actually feeling. Success can mask burnout for a surprisingly long time. You feel great right up until you don’t.

And look, sometimes catching yourself isn’t something you can do alone. If you’re feeling stretched thin, if the pressure of keeping it all up is starting to weigh on you, talking to someone helps more than people expect. Getting proper psychological support in Western Sydney or wherever you are isn’t a sign you’re falling apart. It’s usually a sign you’re paying attention.

Flying Smart Instead of Flying High

Here’s the thing Icarus never got told. The problem was never the flying. It was the ignoring.

His dad gave him a middle path. Not too high, not too low. He just got carried away.

You can enjoy your success without letting it make you stupid. You can keep climbing without pretending you’re invincible. The trick is staying awake to yourself, especially when everything looks like it’s going right.

Because that’s exactly when the sun feels closest.

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Success Advice

Quick and Meaningful Ways to Do Charity

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Finding time to give back can feel overwhelming. Many people want to help others but think it takes a lot of time and planning. The truth is, simple, effective ways to support charity fit into busy lives. Whether you have a few minutes or a couple of hours, you can make a positive impact in your community. Helping others benefits those in need and gives you a sense of fulfilment and connection.

First, understand that charitable efforts can be quick and meaningful. You don’t need to organize a big event or donate a lot of money to make a difference. Small actions can make significant changes in others’ lives. Here are some ways to show generosity today.

Food Bank Donations

One of the simplest ways to help is by donating to a food bank. A food bank donation helps people facing food insecurity by redistributing surplus food and providing healthy meals. When you donate, you nourish someone’s day and ease their burden.

Local food banks often rely on donations from individuals and businesses. You can donate non-perishable items or fresh produce from your garden. If that’s not possible, consider making a monetary donation, which food banks can use to buy the needed food items. Every contribution counts and helps ensure families receive meals.

Volunteering your time at a local food bank is another great way to get involved. Many food donation organizations need help sorting donations, packing food boxes, or distributing meals. This hands-on work lets you see the positive impact of your efforts. You can also build friendships with staff and other volunteers as you work toward shared goals.

No-Cost Options

Charity doesn’t always have to cost money. You can donate your skills or time. If you’re good at graphic design or enjoy writing, your expertise can support local nonprofits’ outreach efforts. You might create promotional materials, manage social media, or offer training sessions.

Another no-cost option is to share charitable organizations on your social media. Inform friends and family about the causes you care about. Increased visibility can lead to more donations and volunteers. Sometimes, raising awareness matters as much as giving money.

Used Goods Donations

Decluttering your home is a great way to support charity. Look around. What items do you no longer use? Clothing, household goods, and toys can help someone in need. Local shelters, thrift stores, and nonprofits often welcome gently used items. By clearing out what you don’t need, you can provide useful items to those who can’t afford them.

You can enhance this experience by organizing a donation drive in your community. Involve friends and neighbours to gather more items together. This can become a fun community event that promotes giving.

Random Acts of Kindness

Doing random acts of kindness each day is an easy way to help others. Simple actions, like buying someone a coffee, leaving a nice note, or helping a neighbour carry groceries, can spread goodwill. These acts not only brighten someone’s day but also promote kindness in your community.

Try setting a goal to do a certain number of kind acts each week. This can become a good habit that changes how you interact with others. It doesn’t matter how big or small the act is. What matters is the intention behind it.

Skill-Based Volunteering

Using your professional skills to help a charity can foster personal growth while supporting those in need. Whether you are a teacher, marketer, lawyer, or accountant, your skills can greatly benefit nonprofits. Many nonprofits need help in areas where they can’t afford to hire professionals.

Some food donation organizations specifically seek volunteers with certain skills, so look for a nonprofit that matches your background. You can create change by using your expertise and meet others who share your interests.

Getting involved in charitable activities allows you to help create a better world. The good news is you don’t need much time or money to make a difference. Whether you volunteer at a local food bank, donate items, or do random acts of kindness, your efforts can lead to real change. These small actions can bring great fulfillment, improving not just the lives of those you help but your own, too.

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