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Success Advice

How To Lead When You’re Terrified Of Failure

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The first stage of growing your business requires the basics of gaining clients, selling your services, and fulfilling your services. While new, your self-reliance makes it easier to step into the newness of the situation and build your business.

As you reach the stage of scalability, you find yourself having to rely on the efforts of others. You build your team and find that you have less control over the work. You have people looking to you for leadership, direction, and encouragement. 

The weight of those responsibilities launches you into a transition that will require you to work as much on yourself as you work on your business. Each day in your business requires you to manage opportunities, problems, and people in a new way.

In short, your business requires something new of you, which is scary. Suddenly, you are wrestling with the fear of failure as you work on leading your team and business to the next level.

Failure is learning, and learning is a necessary part of success. That makes sense intellectually, but without tools and techniques to harness yourself, it will be challenging to create an environment for success to happen.

Get fear out of the driver’s seat

After the 2015 release of Inside Out, a Pixar Film about the personification of 5 emotions, stories were shared with the creators that told of the impact the movie had on its viewers. One of the stories that emerged was of a young family at their local pool. The son, a young boy, caught the eyes of his parents as he steadily marched to the highest dive board.

His parents held their breath as they watched their child climb the ladder rung by rung to the top, walk to the edge, take a breath, and proceed to dive off into the pool below. What was so amazing about this seemingly simple, normal act? 

Their son was terrified of the high dive. Imagine being so afraid that your body launches into a shivering terror over one thing that seems so easy for others. When the little boy reached his parents, they asked, “What changed? That was amazing, but how?”

The little boy shared that when he watched the film, he realized that fear was natural and healthy, but he had allowed fear to be in the driver’s seat for too long. “I just asked fear to get out of the driver’s seat and let joy have a turn.”

Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s the ability to step through fear. Because fear is one of the most potent basic human emotions, you are not going to be able to rid yourself of fear, but you can learn to manage it.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”  – Jack Canfield

Get it on paper

This exercise is not one to amplify your fear, but you do need to give it a name. The process of writing things by hand has an impact of pulling thoughts out of your head. When something like fear repeats over and over in your mind, it magnifies and amplifies. With this amplification, the fear grows and creates inaction because the fear seems insurmountable. Writing out the fear names it. If you name it, you can actively mitigate it.

Mitigate the Risks

“What is the worst thing that could happen?” The purpose of the question is not to find all the ways you can fail. It’s to understand what the perceived risks are. If you know what the risks are, then you can put in place watch guards and plans to reduce those risks. You can cut things off at the pass.

When you list out all of the things that could happen, you will likely find that 50% of the list is not possible or probable. 

An additional 25% of the list is more about how you fear that you’ll be perceived by others (give yourself a little grace with these). What would you say to the 10-year-old version of yourself who was about to try something new and had the same fears? You would likely extend more kindness and grace to others than you are willing to give yourself.

The remaining 25% of the list comprises risks that you can mitigate or reduce. What are the metrics you could put into place to act as an early warning system? If, in the unlikely case, these risks come to reality, what plan can you put into place?

This little exercise is more impactful than you can imagine. It puts you back in control by adopting a more strategic approach to the situation—and that’s right where you want to be.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

Paint the picture

In Brene Brown’s book, ‘Dare to Lead’, she tells a story of working with company leaders who liked to ‘paint it done’ by defining your expectations, the requirements, and what success will look like. You verbally paint the picture of what ‘done’ means in your vision of success. The purpose of the exercise is to define what the end result would be so that everyone has a clear expectation of what success is.

What are your expectations of the situation? If your fear is about failure, what would be heaven? How would you feel? How would you know that you achieved success? What would your team say? What would the office sound like?

Painting the picture of success is critical to achieving success. It also helps highlight when you are on the right path.

Manage the process, not the work

When it comes to your team, the fear of failure from the business owner manifests a situation where the owner micromanages the team. A business owner can quickly become angry and frustrated with their team. In the end, the fear of failure drives the business owner into paranoia and then boom—the business owner creates the physical manifestation of what they fear.

If you find yourself headed down this road, know that it is normal. This situation is a critical place of transition for you. The key is to shift your primary focus from ‘doing the work’ to ‘getting the work done.’

For many of us, there has been a certain amount of pride and value placed on our ability to do the work, to put in the hours. If your business is going to continue to grow, you need to be able to let go of the work and find value in guiding others toward a common goal.

Trust your team to get the job done. Manage the results that you are looking to achieve and allow your team to rise to the occasion. While you will have missteps in hiring and managing your team, all these learnings create a better definition of success.

You are likely to have some bumps and scrapes along the way. When that happens, take ownership and then take positive action. Ask for grace from yourself and from your team. Your team is not looking to you for perfection. They will respect you for learning along the way while everyone in the business grows and shares in the benefit of being in it together.

How do you manage to control your fear of failure? Share your thoughts and ideas with us below!

Leslie Hassler is a dynamic author, speaker, and business strategist guiding women owned, service-based businesses into more profits, cash flow, and success. Business owners come to Leslie tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed from constantly putting out fires instead of thinking strategically to scale. Using her more than 12 years of experience in business, finance, mindset, and more, Leslie takes multiple 6 and 7 figure businesses from cash-strapped and struggling to profitable and thriving with her unique Scaling Rich Method. Her genius has also been featured on stages around the United States such as the National Association of Women Business Owners, the Women’s Business Enterprise National Council, and more. If you are interested in exploring the next steps you need to take to grow your service based business to the next level, check out Leslie’s quiz here to get on the path so you can finally Scale Rich.

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Change Your Mindset

The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable

True leaders don’t just speak their values, they live them, proving that integrity is the foundation of lasting influence.

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9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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