Connect with us

Success Advice

How to Escape Feedback Loops That Lead You to Make the Same Mistakes

Avatar

Published

on

how to stop making the same mistakes
Image Credit: Unsplash

Everyone knows that actions have consequences, but we don’t often think about how those consequences can build on each other, leading to bigger and more frequent problems. If you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over, you might be caught in a feedback loop—a cycle in which an action you take has a negative consequence that increases the likelihood of the same consequence happening again. One mistake builds on the next. The good news is that by recognizing you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of negative behavior, you can take steps to free yourself and build healthier habits.

How Feedback Loops Work and Why We Get Stuck in Them

When you’re caught in a negative feedback loop, it can be difficult to recognize that you’re stuck because your emotions and attention might be scattered and distracted, preventing you from seeing your situation clearly.

Someone in a continual state of stress or trauma will likely never see the opportunities right in front of them. Even if they can see the opportunities, because of the lack of self-confidence, they will be unable to take advantage of them. This makes them craft out a tiny, small life for themselves, all the while complaining, moaning, criticizing, and judging themselves and others who’ve taken the time to build inner and outer self-esteem.

For example, a shy teenager lacking in confidence is probably going to have trouble establishing an interpersonal, romantic relationship. If they try approaching someone and are rejected because they’re lacking confidence, that is only going to further reinforce their false beliefs about themselves and create a negative feedback loop, which must be interrupted or broken for this teenager to thrive in interpersonal, romantic relationships.

The shy teenager thinks about his skillset, and because he’s a good swimmer, he decides to become a lifeguard. This will also provide him with the confidence to interact with others from a position of authority and put him in contact, however peripherally, with girls. It will also provide him a source of income, which allows him to understand cause and effect at a greater level, which breeds confidence from the inside out through the process of building inner self-esteem.

He takes steps to improve his confidence, like keeping a job, ensuring the safety of others, and trusting his own skills. Before long, he’s able to approach girls and talk with the confidence that once held him back. He’s broken and interrupted the negative feedback loop. The self-esteem he established, in fact, can now bleed into all other aspects of his life.

Escaping a Feedback Loop

However, now that you know how negative feedback loops work, you can look at your own behaviors and determine if they’re compounding on each other. Has your confidence suffered recurring blows like the boy from the example? Maybe you’ve yelled at a partner in anger, which led to increased tension and more fights. Or perhaps you were stressed about a large work project, which led you to procrastinate, which exacerbated your stress further.

Regardless of which negative behavior you repeat, once you recognize the problem, you can look for chances to address it. The boy in the example above saw a chance to raise his confidence by taking a job with a high level of responsibility. You need to look for similar opportunities to counteract your negative behaviors.

If you’re afraid of flying, don’t make your anxiety worse by holding your breath as you board a flight; focus on breathing slowly. Remind yourself that flying is safer than driving instead of imagining all the ways the plane could crash. Redirect your stress pattern before it spirals downward into a panic attack.

By strengthening positive and opposite emotions, you can free yourself from your negative feedback loop and stop making the same old mistakes that reinforce the old neuro pathways that limit your beliefs and hold you back from experiencing a greater depth of your potential.

Christopher Maher is a former Navy SEAL who endured intense amounts of physical, mental, and emotional stress as a child and during and after his military career. He has taught himself how to free his energy, body, mind and emotions from pain by developing the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of being. Christopher studied Traditional Chinese Medical Practices at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and at Yo San University, then continued his studies at The Universal Healing Tao System. He is currently pursuing his Master's and Doctorate degrees in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

15 Leadership Lessons From the World’s Top Female Founders

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

The Covid-19 pandemic has tested the leadership skills of global leaders both in government and in the private sector, but have male or female bosses handled these rolling crises better? According to a Harvard Business Review study, it’s the women who have proved to be stronger leaders, but what is their secret? (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Ego Contributes to Your Success and Failures

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Bill Russell played for the Boston Celtics for 13 years. Remarkably, his teams won the NBA championship 11 of those 13 years. He felt the key to their success was the development of their team ego. He said when the Celtics entered a building for practice or a game, they left their individual egos at the door. However, what they brought into the building was their team ego. The Celtics knew they were a good team and their mindset towards an opponent was if you are to beat us, you had better bring a great game because we know we are! (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

The Secret Formula for Real Financial Success

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

What do you see?

That Money = Cost x Time ?

Or, that Time = Money/Cost ?

Most of us routinely push through the weekdays while we wait for the next weekend to roll around, giving us a moment to choose how we spend and enjoy our time. For those who are merely working to pay the bills, 71% of every week is a total write-off. It’s a sad statistic. What keeps us spending an entire life stuck in this funk? (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Be Like Water: 3 Martial Arts Lessons for Negotiation

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

You may wonder what martial arts and negotiation have in common. As a lifetime practicing martial artist, I constantly use lessons from various martial arts to help me in my professional life. One of the most common themes running through all martial arts is the silencing of the “self.” Martial artists meditate to quiet themselves and become more attuned to the processes of the self and the world around them. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending