Success Advice
Here’s Why Splitting Personalities at Work and Home is Causing Unhappiness
When your external you reflects your internal you, you find true success, happiness, satisfaction, and contentment
We hear it all the time: to accelerate in our careers, we need to fit within a certain mold. We need to play the role — to dress and talk and behave a certain way. Once we’re back home, we can switch into an entirely different person and be “ourselves.”
We’re challenged to play so many different roles in our everyday life. We have to be smart, intelligent, and on our A game at work. Then we have to be patient, understanding, and the ideal role model in front of our kids, along with our fun, kind, and present self with our friends. We’re a different person behind closed doors, a different person at work, and a different person with friends, family, kids, parents, etc. In playing all those roles, how do we truly know who we are as a person?
This is the reality of most people. Why? Because for so long the notion that behaving in different ways around different people has been ingrained in our minds as traditional practice. In fact, being able to be all these different personalities is viewed as an admirable “skill.”
I don’t know about you, but for me, this traditional practice is exhausting! It’s not admirable. In fact, it’s completely inauthentic. Further, doing it takes no courage. None. All you have to do is conform to a system that’s already in place, formed by societal, familial, or cultural norms. You’re only playing your role. That’s easy. There’s nothing admirable or special about it.
By comparison, going against the norm, being one person at all times regardless of the situation or the people you’re around, takes courage. It requires you to regularly break norms and be completely confident, secure, and free in how you act. Oftentimes, you may find yourself on an island, but guess what? It’s your island. You own it. You own your true self.
The real you probably exists somewhere in the center of all the different personas you take on every day. But there’s only one true you. And that means the things you struggle with or that trigger a certain reaction in your personal life are also going to provoke a similar reaction in your professional life. If there’s an attitude that irks you at home, it’s likely to have the same effect in the workplace no matter how hard you try to hide beneath layers of professionalism and diplomacy.
“When you are authentic, you create a certain energy, people want to be around you because you are unique.” – Andie MacDowell
We try to keep our “professional” self and “home” self in two separate drawers where they can’t possibly blend. Even through COVID, when our “home” was also our principal place of business, we still tried to keep the personal and professional neatly separate. It was a near impossible endeavor when our work was our home and our home was also where we worked.
Part of this struggle for both employers and employees is how do we incorporate both. How, as an employer, do we create an atmosphere that encourages authenticity? How, as an employee, can we align these two parts of our lives together? Part of the answer lies in a mindset shift. This means breaking away from the traditional thinking that our personal and professional personas are separate. We must begin to acknowledge that satisfaction is derived from within. We need to connect with our authentic selves and strive to be the best version of ourselves each and every day.
It’s possible to accept and respect each individual exactly as he or she is — whether as Jane the employee/employer or as Jane the parent, spouse, sibling, or friend. Embracing team members for who they are without expecting them to smother their inner selves should be an organic part of your company culture.
The beauty of this mindset shift isn’t that it only happens at one level of the organization. To be truly effective, it must be embraced at both the individual level and the organizational level.
Work to shift your mindset through these approaches:
- Realize that authenticity starts with you. Understand that it’s okay to be different. Arrive at work unapologetic, unafraid, and unencumbered by who you think you’re expected to be. Understand that it’s okay to be your authentic self.
- Shed the facades. You cannot be two different people personally and professionally and still understand who you are. Develop an awareness of when you’re not saying or doing something that you truly believe. Ask yourself whether you’re trying hard to appease someone else or to fit a norm.
- Embrace your uniqueness. There isn’t, nor should there be, a cookie-cutter employee. Each person is unique and comes with their own talents, idiosyncrasies, and flaws. Your differences contribute to the company’s diverse whole.
When your external you reflects your internal you, and vice versa, you find true success, happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. The magnetism within your truthfulness and authenticity will pull the best out of you — and the best to you.
Change Your Mindset
The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable
True leaders don’t just speak their values, they live them, proving that integrity is the foundation of lasting influence.
Leadership isn’t defined by titles, speeches, or charisma; it’s defined by action. The most respected leaders in history didn’t just preach their values; they lived them. (more…)
Success Advice
Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)
A viral TikTok resume trick promises interviews overnight, yet one wrong move could blacklist you from future jobs.
Your job hunt has stalled out. After weeks of submitting online applications, you haven’t had a nibble. (more…)
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen
Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
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