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Success Advice

6 Ways That A Great Relationship Can Help You Be Successful In Life & In Business

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Very often, we’re led to believe that being single is the best way to be successful at what we do. However, that logic goes straight out the window when you actually contemplate the number of positive influences that a relationship can have on a person’s career and work life. The right partner or a spouse can really help bring in a number of amazing influences over one’s life that will contribute toward their careers in more ways than one.

Here’s a list of reasons that explain how a great relationship can drastically boost your chances of success!

 

A partner makes a great alternative moral compass

Believe it or not, however perfect a compass is, it needs to be periodically adjusted for error. So when your moral compass goes haywire as it sometimes does for everyone, your partner takes up the slack on your behalf. He or She guides you through times when you’re not so sure of yourself. In a cutthroat world, a loving partner always reminds us of what we stand for. That way you’ll never lose yourself trying to be successful.

 

A partner represents everything you worked hard for

Let’s face it. We all need a reason to be successful. What better reason can anyone have than an amazing partner who makes coming home to at the end of each day, a blessing. Humans are hardwired to do three things very well. To provide, to defend and to excel at what they do however insignificant it might be. While being successful is more related to the latter, the first two provide strong motivation for success.

 

A loving spouse reminds you of why you love your job

We all hate our jobs at some point of time. The best way to be successful at what we do is by hanging in there and never give up. Often, our real life relationships are fairly reflective of the dedication we show towards our careers. People who are firmly rooted in a relationship tend to better understand the demands of dedication and don’t let temporary setbacks discourage them.

 

A spouse is the most unbiased advisor you can ever get

We make mistakes at work and we make mistakes at home. In each instance, our partners remind us exactly where we went wrong and how we can do it right. They may not always be correct, but they speak from their heart. That’s something you can only rarely find among peers these days. A partner’s perspective on your work related issues are often fresh and not colored with prejudice. That’s a valuable tool in the hands of people trying to be successful.

 

Everyone needs someone that makes it all worthwhile

To be successful means nothing if you don’t have something or in this case, someone, to come home to. In the end, personal relationships matter to us more than anything else. Success is truly meaningless if you don’t have someone you can share it with. A loving partner offers a reason, motivation and the drive for you to be successful. It can really get very lonely at the top, so if you intend to reach there, find someone you can take with you. You’ll find out that it’s the best decision you ever made in your life

 

A Fan For Life

Having a loving and supportive partner also means that no matter how successful you are and through your ups and downs, good and tough times, your partner will always be your biggest fan.

Having someone who supports what you do and who you are no matter what is so important and contributes to ones self-confidence and is encouraging – even when you think you don’t need it, the extra boost always helps!

 

With all of the above said, Congratulations if you are in a loving and supportive relationship with someone who brings out the best in you!

True love and companionship is not easy to find but I believe there is someone out there for everyone.

If you are in a relationship and feel like you are being held back or not being supported and cannot be your true self around them, I am sorry to say that a relationship should not be like that.

“Fighting is normal” “Every relationship goes through a bad patch” “It will get better” All of the myths mentioned above are just that – Myths!

Relationships are meant to be easy and when you meet the right person, they will complement your personality and you will feel like anything is possible which brings us to the point of this article.

 

Article By: Joel Brown | Addicted2Success

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances.I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 100 million lives in the last 6 and a half years.

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19 Comments

19 Comments

  1. Matt

    Feb 3, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    Wonderful article. Wish I’d read this years ago.

  2. Mike

    Feb 12, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    Having someone in your life who will give it to you straight with only love in their heart is a very precious gift.

  3. Sija

    Mar 25, 2014 at 8:58 am

    Great article, Joel! Thanks for sharing. The drive to succeed is much greater when you have someone that you’re doing it for and love dearly.

  4. Max

    Jul 7, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Thia is true indeed, I really believe if all entrepreneurs knew this and see their business grow and become successful.

  5. Wyman Kaluba (@WymanKaluba)

    Jun 18, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Great advice thanks. I love the closing 2 sentences, they offer hope

  6. meddy

    Mar 3, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    good advice,am following

  7. meddy

    Mar 3, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Good advice, am now following it

  8. Williesha

    Oct 28, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Fabulous read! As a newlywed I’m going to use this as a jump off point for my next blog. 😉

  9. Rifi

    Aug 11, 2012 at 12:42 am

    I was married for 24 years and now divorced , we have achieved so much in life together which we won’t as single and I agree with you 100% and I believe being in a relationship with the right person is not as important as being in good relationship is , there is no wrong person, it’s the time and situations that keep changing and two people who were good for each other may not be good at all but , connected with a commitment and compromised with situations play leading role in a relationship, but it works only until we hit 40 after that it has to be perfect or it’s out , because tolerance have age too, more it’s tested younger it gets, and after 50 there is no if and buts in a relationship it’s just being used to each other,, love yes if one knows how to keep it fresh time will pass in no time and two people will be together til death do us apart,, there is no right or wrong person..

  10. Moira Monney

    Aug 7, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Great article! I do disagree with your last point though. I don’t think it is just about “meeting the right person” and I don’t believe that “relationships are meant to be easy”. If they are, it probably means you’re not growing and even when you’re with the right person (i.e. you’re being supported etc.), things can sometimes be difficult, because you’re two different people who won’t agree on everything, have a different past, culture (maybe), etc. Obviously, it shouldn’t be hard all the time, but I do think the harder times are a sign of change and growth – something to embrace and come out stronger on the other side.

  11. Tosin Odedele

    Jul 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    This is a big boost and motivation to go ahead and take the bold step of marriage even as one grows his business ideas.This is a great piece

  12. Rick Silver

    Jul 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

    This is great stuff, I especially like : “To be successful means nothing if you don’t have something or in this case, someone, to come home to”.

    All the work and effort is much easier to endure, when the result is her happiness, freedom and security.

  13. Croft Castrell

    Jul 10, 2012 at 5:48 am

    Couldn’t agree with anything else so whole-heartedly as my agreement with this article.

  14. Daniel Yes

    Jun 24, 2012 at 1:20 am

    That is very true , great post ! Whenever you feel depressive or emotional , they are the one who be there for you and say you are the best and everything will not be the same as today…

  15. Jay Caniel

    Jun 21, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    very very good post!

  16. Amina Ibrahim

    Jun 20, 2012 at 10:39 am

    I am impressed by this article. I was made to believe that being in a relationship really holds a person back. But thank God! I found it to be otherwise in my current relationship.

    • Trent

      Jun 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      Really Amina?

      My partner is what drives my will to succeed. Her constant support and mutual want for happiness is what keeps me on track. When I come up with a new idea; she is honest and tells me what she thinks – sometimes not what I want to hear; but it’s honest.

  17. Dan Coggins

    Jun 19, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    Nice post. I found your idea of “a friend for life” especially touching. Thanks.

  18. jesslyn

    Jun 19, 2012 at 9:43 am

    Great post. I absolutely agree that a spouse can give you the most unbiased views about your business and careers. Though they are not always the best person to listen to but they can definitely help you in one way or another.

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Success Advice

Why You Should Prefer Emails to Phone Calls if You Want to Be More Productive

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“Email” and “productivity” rarely go together in a sentence. Emails have been declared as one of our largest time wasters. A McKinsey report stated that people spend around 2.6 hours each day responding to emails. That’s 13 hours a week, 52 hours a month and over 60 days a year! Imagine what you could’ve achieved in 60 days!

Emails also negatively affect our cognitive resources. When we think of responding to them while doing other important tasks, it takes up to 23 minutes and 15 seconds after being disrupted to return to full attention to a current task. Imagine how much our cognition and productivity gets fractured when we get distracted over and over again.

Constant emailing also drains us mentally. And at the end of a day, we realize that we’ve achieved nothing worth mentioning. With a phone call, you can sort issues and solve problems quickly, right? In theory, you’re right. But we live in a practical world where many variables come into play.

Below are three variables that make phone calls adversely affect our productivity, and why emails are a better alternative:

1. Wasting Time

Most “five-minute conversations” can quickly turn into 35-minute calls because people ramble about irrelevant aspects. This derailment, several times a day, severely limits the limited time and energy you have for important tasks.

Emails, on the other hand, force writers to streamline their thoughts and stick to the point. Emails can save you plenty of time and energy because you avoid lengthy phone calls. The constant strife to keep your own emails short and crisp also makes you a clearer thinker, which rewards you in other aspects of your life.

“It’s better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.” – Hal Sparks

2. Inaccurate Responses

An unexpected phone call can catch me caught off guard on a topic. I might respond emotionally or give an answer that doesn’t do justice to what I want to share. In a world dominated by panic buttons and fire-fighting, these don’t just stress me out but the caller as well.

Emails give me flexibility to prepare a coherent response and share it when I’m satisfied. If I feel a surge of emotion, I can sleep over the thought and share a better (more rational) response the next day. Many page-long email responses to emails that upset me have turned into a simple “thank you for your email” the next day.

3. Constant Back-and-Forth

Phone calls often are ineffective to solve business problems. Accounting for multiple people, their views, their timelines… One phone call can quickly turn into three.

Emails are quicker and more effective than even conference calls. They let you communicate with multiple people at the same time. You can share information, assign tasks and give status updates while being as specific as possible.

You must be wondering, “What about back-and-forth emails then? Why do we waste precious time on them?” Yes, email has earned a bad rap. But it’s not because of the medium; it’s because we handle it ineffectively.

A Better Approach to Emailing

For most people, constantly refreshing the inbox is part of the daily to-do list. It keeps them busy and gives them a kick of dopamine – the feel-good chemical.

Ironically, this quest to remain busy makes people compromise on taking action that can move them forward. Using emails prudently, rewards you with plenty of energy and mind space to focus on tasks that truly matter.

Here are three steps that benefited me without succumbing to the side effects of email:

1. Checking Them Less

I check emails just 3 times a day – at 9:30 AM, 12:00 PM, and 4:30 PM. If you don’t have the luxury to do the same, you can start by checking your emails for ten minutes at the end of each hour. Most senders expect a response in a little over an hour. So they won’t mind a slightly delayed response. This gives you 45 undisturbed minutes each hour to work on your core tasks.

2. Responding Quickly

People delay responding to emails at least 37% of the time, which turns finding emails and responding to them into additional tasks that cost time and lead to attention residue. Most emails take under two minutes to respond. When you can respond to an email, do so instead of putting it off. This won’t just put your mind at peace, it’ll also reduce the number of “did-you-see-this” follow-up emails in your inbox.

“I do love email. Wherever possible I try to communicate asynchronously. I’m really good at email.” – Elon Musk

3. The If-Then Technique

The If-Then technique helps you address multiple scenarios at once. For instance, an email that says, “Can we meet at 3:00 PM?” becomes, “Can we meet at 3:00 PM? If not, please advise three other times that work for you.”

This technique is also effective when you want to suggest ideas or provide instructions on alternative steps. For example, “Here’s Plan A. If it doesn’t work, connect with [name] and ask for [specific information]. If you don’t get what you need, inform me.”

I’ll admit. This sounds like more work in the current moment, but it drastically cuts down the number of trail mails, confused correspondences, and fire-fighting instances that occur due to miscommunication.

The If-Then formula is the single most effective technique I’ve learned from The 4-Hour Workweek. All of this doesn’t mean that you abandon phone calls, In fact, it’s better to use the phone for sensitive topics or if an email conversation gets dragged. But remain mindful to not let phone calls waste your time.

If you want to pursue a meaningful life, place a premium on your time. Do things that create time for you to pursue meaningful actions and avoid doing what pulls you away from them. In the knowledge economy, this is the key to success.

Do you prefer email or talking on the phone? Share your thoughts below!

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Success Advice

4 Questions You Need to Answer Before You Reach the Level of Success You So Desperately Crave

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It’s normal that every person in the world wants to reach success and happiness. Yet, everyone defines both of these things differently. For some, success is making a whole bunch of money while for others this can be to become a good parent. Happiness is defined differently as well. Some people need to own a jet, boat and 3 cars to be truly happy, while others are happy just to be able to wake up in the morning.

It doesn’t matter how you define success and happiness, the truth is, you want to achieve them both. But, to be able to reach success and happiness, you need to answer 4 questions for yourself.

Here are the 4 questions you need to answer before you can achieve success and happiness:

1. Where Are You?

No, not geographically. It doesn’t matter where you live. What matters is where are you in life. Where are you in your way to success and happiness. Let’s say you are lost in the woods. You know exactly where you want to go, but you don’t know where you are. Even a map doesn’t help you with that.

The same is true in life. You may have a goal, but until you truly define where you are in the moment, you can’t move toward this goal. So, step 1 on your way to success and happiness is to define where you are right now.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn

2. Where Do You Want to Go?

When you define where you are in life, then you can think of where you want to be.

There’s this saying:  When you don´t know your final destination, you´ll end up somewhere you didn’t want to be. Until you don’t know clearly where you want to be in life and who you want to become, your life doesn’t have a true purpose.

Without purpose, there´s no motivation. Without motivation, there´s no energy. And without energy, you´re not living, you´re just existing. I am sure you know someone who looks like a walking corpse everytime you see them. Do you think this person lives a successful and happy life? Most likely not.

So, step 2 on your way to success and happiness is to clearly define your goal. What do you want to accomplish and who do you want to become?

3. Why Do You Want It?

Okay, you know the basics. You know where you are and where you want to be. But, as Rocky Balboa said, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.” And as you already know, life usually doesn’t go according to your plan. There will be hard times and to overcome those and not give up, you need to know WHY you do what you do.

You need to know WHY you want to accomplish your goals. When you answer this for yourself, you don’t struggle so much to motivate yourself. You will be motivated every minute of every day.

So, as a step 3, sit down and think of WHY you want to accomplish your goals. What’s the big purpose?

“We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.” – Tony Robbins

4. How Are You Going to Get There?

And finally, how are you going to get there? What’s your plan? You may know where you are, where you want to be and why you want to do it, but until you truly understand how you are going to get there, there won’t be much success and happiness in your life.

For example, you want to become a bodybuilder. You want to do it because you want to have big muscles and you want to look fit. But, you have no idea how to work out, how to build muscle and how to lose fat. Do you think, you´re going to be happy? No. As Tony Robbins says, “true happiness comes from progress.”

To make progress, you need to have a specific plan; how to get from point A (where you are) to point B (where you want to be). So, as a step 4, sit down and make a specific plan for how you’re going to get what you want in life.

In order to reach success and happiness, there are 4 questions you need to answer for yourself. Without answering them, you´re not going to  get ahead in life, you´re just bouncing around. Success and happiness never come from just bouncing around in life.

Good news is, that these questions are really simple. It won’t take much time to answer them. Just be aware of where you are and where you want to be. Don´t forget to understand why you are pursuing your dream and finally, how are you going to get what you want.

Answer these 4 simple questions today and you won’t struggle with finding success and happiness in life anymore.

Which one of the above 4 questions resonated most with you and why? Share your thoughts and ideas below!

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Success Advice

The Empathetic Heart: How The CHO of VaynerMedia Is Changing The Way We Work

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Claude Silver CHO of Vaynermedia
Image Credit: VaynerMedia

A month after I had joined LinkedIn back in July of 2018, I sent Claude Silver a connection request and began following her content. One day she made a post saying “Ask and you shall receive, what can I do to help you today?”. I commented on that post asking for a 5 minute interview and to my surprise she agreed by asking me to send her a message (I was given a full hour). This was the first example of pure kindness I witnessed from Claude.

The first message you see on Claude’s website is: People need people. People need people that listen and then do something. That message spoke to me on an emotional level, and I believe it will speak to you too. I wanted to know how she created such an amazing culture, what being a “culture carrier” meant, and how the employees at VaynerMedia have been changed by her work there.

A culture carrier in Claude’s own words is “someone who is aligned with our values, I can’t teach someone to be kind they have to already be kind. The process of developing a culture carrier takes about 6 months. It’s about bringing people together and having strong core values of kindness and empathy.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, co-founder of VaynerMedia, is often referred to as a combination of hustle and heart. With the hiring of Claude and the work she has accomplished within the company, it speaks to the level of empathy that can be felt throughout the entire operation.

Although business can be a challenging, tough, and often cut-throat terrain, by putting employees first and providing honest feedback the company has grown to include offices in New York, Chattanooga, Los Angeles and London, and continues to dominate the market.

Below we’ll see 3 different ways the CHO of VaynerMedia is changing the way people work:

1. By being unafraid to share her own story

Claude has been an influential part of breaking the stigma surrounding vulnerability in the business arena. Not only does she openly share her own story, but she sits down with employees to better understand their vulnerabilities and how to use characteristics that previously would have been considered weaknesses as strengths.

When asked what her biggest adventure to date was she replied “Having Shalom (her daughter). I have had an amazing life, I moved, worked hard, landed an amazing job and fell in love but it didn’t come without its challenges.”

Claude is openly gay and is living proof your sexual orientation doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but your character, your track record, and if you leave people a little better off than before you met them. From Claude, business leaders, employees and entrepreneurs can learn to be more open both on social media and in person, allowing them to build more meaningful relationships and connect on a deeper level. A deeper connection can mean more leverage but it also means a more lasting impact on the world.

“Everyone has something they can share. I’m not famous. I don’t have anything that would be newsworthy, but I have stories.” – Tafta Johnson Watson

2. Committing to a strong value system

VaynerMedia has some serious values for such a large company and those values are expected to be upheld by every employee and visitor. Values like kindness, empathy, honesty, hustle and the art of not complaining.

With Claude holding the title of Chief Heart Officer, she is the guiding light for others. When recruiting, she says she “takes the time to evaluate an individual’s talents but most importantly their own heart”.  

Gary Vaynerchuk is quoted as saying:”To me, there’s no debate that kindness is a strength. And it breaks my heart to know that so many people believe it’s a weakness. So many people are afraid that other people will take advantage of their kindness or make them feel “used.” But the truth is, those who take advantage of your kindness are weak on the inside. Feel bad for them, don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself“.

Both Claude and Gary teach aspiring entrepreneurs that it is okay to live with an open heart and that having the strength to commit to and live with a strong value system, will be a powerful tool during the hustle journey. It also allows you to go to bed at night actually liking the person that you are, nothing will kill a business faster than going to bed at night and hating yourself.

3. Listening with action

As mentioned above Claude’s slogan is: People need people. People need people that listen and then do something.  As a woman who wears many hats, she is also an Outward Bound Instructor, taking individuals on amazing adventures in the outdoors.

Taking action on any given day can mean a number of different things but it speaks to her own character and driving force that she is able to not only guide people through the world of office politics but also through the serene and sometimes challenging wilderness.

Claude cultivates an environment of trust by first offering individuals her own trust. It is a huge and vulnerable action that leads to a relationship of love – heart – and productivity. Listening as an action is something that has the power to change an entire organization from an unproductive, toxic environment to one that promotes creativity, passion, inclusion and positivity.

“Relationships are leverage. If you give value to someone else first, you have leverage.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

To get the truest sense of how Claude was changing the way people work, I asked her co-workers to tell me what working alongside Claude has done for them. Here is one of the answers I received:

“During my time working alongside Claude, I’ve really come to appreciate her example of being a good listener. As a society, we tend to praise the power of speaking. But Claude demonstrates on a daily basis that the most important thing everybody wants is to be heard.” – Steve Babcock, Chief Creative Officer VaynerMedia.

I tried looking for images of Claude on her website and I think it speaks to how focused she is on holding space for others, because I couldn’t find a single full sized image of her to use. I googled. Writing this piece has opened me up to evaluate my own values and the way I connect with people in my daily life.

From this article, it is my own hope that entrepreneurs come to the understanding that although tenacity and true grit are really important, the whole of what Claude represents is something to strive towards. The “soft” skills you develop are humongous strengths and to truly impact an entire organization.

What’s the last random act of kindness you did for someone? Share with us below!

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Success Advice

The 7 Secrets of High Achievers Revealed

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We all have goals in life, but very few of us ever learn to consciously set, work on and see our goals through. In our naturalness bias, we marvel at those who have set and reached their goals thinking they have some esoteric abilities that we don’t. We overlook that the final product is the result of a series of mistake-ridden, unrecorded pains. What if we could learn from the process, the habits and rituals of the high achievers? (more…)

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