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3 Unique Ways to Strengthen Your Personal and Professional Identity

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When I was young professional—just getting into the workforce, I was always intrigued by and somewhat star-struck when I saw departmental Executives, Senior VPs, and company CEOs walking around the office of where I was employed at the time. When seeing them, I used to ask myself questions like: “Man, I wonder how it feels to be in a leadership role like that?” or “How and what did they do to be in such an influential seat in the company?” I would even ask myself, “Was it their schooling or did they know someone, that knew someone?”.

Never being too afraid to ask, because I was never one to assume, and I’d rather get my answers from that individual directly, versus receiving misinformation from others. While employed at a Fortune 500 banking institution, the opportunity for me to meet the higher-ups in the company had presented itself, because my departments new launch was oncoming, and the higher-ups wanted to meet the team.

Boldly, I approached the Senior VP that was over my division at that period in time, and asked him “Sir, how did you become who you are and what did you do to get there?” He looked at me, smiled and said “No one ever asked me that. Most people that I meet for the first time just say hello and shake my hand in fear, as if I’m this esoteric being that isn’t human.” Digesting his response, and reading his demeanor—I was shocked by how casual and laid back he was. He told me to have a seat, as we were standing by my cubicle. He pulled up a chair beside me and said “It’s not about how I became who I am, or what I did. Early in my career, I knew who I was, but who I was—by my lonesome, wasn’t the man that was going to get me to where I wanted to be.”

After around 15-minutes of great dialogue with the Senior VP, we concluded our conversation by him making the statement “As I excelled in status and climbed the corporate ladder, I was pretty much elected into every role that I’ve ever been in. Not because I was the most skilled, but because I always cared for people, and people always felt that from me—even if we’d just met. I was a constant student of others—no matter who they were.” I proceeded to ask him what he meant, and he said “When I learn from people, I take a piece of who they are with me, and I add the experience and information that they shared with me, to my repertoire of skills and wisdom. This has always helped me grow as an individual.”

I looked at him and just stared, because what he had said to me was beyond profound, but I understood the essence of his message without confusion. He got up from his chair, shook my hand and said “Remember—learn from everyone, but never look to become them.” I learned a great deal of information that day, so I’d like to share with you, what was shared with me.

Here are 3 unique ways you can learn from everyone that you encounter, in efforts to strengthen your professional and personal identity:

1. Listen to hear; versus to respond or react

The old saying “People don’t care about how much you know, they just want to know how much you care” is true. So, despite how knowledgeable you may be in an area that someone is expressing concern, most people honestly don’t want your advice. They simply want to feel the empathy and compassion of you caring, and sharing their burden(s)—even if it’s just for a moment.

When they ask for advice or recommendations, that’s when you should express your credibility in the area of their concern. Understanding this, creates a greater tier of patience and restraint that most people on earth lack, simply because you understand that the moment isn’t about you. It’s about others, and about softening towards the world and towards all those that are in it.

2. Learn how to read body language as it’s communicating to you

Most people have to reflect on how people reacted, in the midst of a conversation—once the conversation has concluded or when it’s too late to say what they truly wanted to say. When you can assess the conformability or un-conformability of a person’s behaviors in real-time, not only will you realize the growth within yourself, but you’ll be more conscious of your delivery and approach on certain topics when engaging with others on a casual or professional level.

Become so good at reading the body language of others, that you subconsciously begin to feel like Neo from the Matrix. I reference Neo, because you’ll begin to see the in-between moments of life happening in slow motion, while the rest of the world is moving at warp speed—somewhat like how Neo experienced the slowing down of time in the infamous scene when he dodged a barrage of bullets at point blank range, on the rooftop.

3. Learn how to adopt mannerisms that impress you then, make them your own

Positive mannerisms range from strong/hearty handshakes, sitting firm and upright when in the presence of others, smiling with confidence and full transparency, with no regard to whether or not others can handle your radical openness.

Being consciously aware of these 3 simple tips, complemented with your efforts of applying them in all situations, will ensure the development of your personal and professional identity. When you have the mindset of always learning from others, you eventually become the masterful teacher that eventually passes the baton to the next student that’s watching and seeking to learn from you.

Outside of being the father to the two most beautiful girls in the world, Ryleigh and Ryann Thomas, I'm the author of the beautiful book titled, "The Power of Thinking Inside The Box". Outside of that, I'm just a man who was born to be a servant to those who are looking to better their lives by finding and living in their Life's Purpose, helping them take control of every minute of the hour.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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