Change Your Mindset
13 Reasons You Are Failing At Life And Becoming A Bum
If your life is not where you expected it to be then there are plenty of reasons why. Today I’m going to explore a few of them with you so that you can get clear on what’s holding you back.
Once we’ve uncovered where your weak points are it’s then time for you to get to work on yourself. It’s time to make some breakthroughs and commit to a few small steps each day to turn your life around.
Below are 13 reasons you are failing at life:
1. You haven’t faced a dominating fear
There is one single fear that drives you more than anything else. You already know what that fear is and unless you make a decision to face it, you’ll never succeed at the level that fulfills you. Punch that damn fear in the face and you’ll experience a high that is very hard to come down from. All of your barriers will suddenly not seem too frightening after all. Come on let’s do this!
2. You are not motivated by anything
If you are living your life and are not motivated or inspired by a single thing, then you’ve got problems my friend. There needs to be something that sends shivers down your spine and gives you motivation. We all have this in our life, but many of us have never stopped to think about what causes these goosebump moments.
Find something that gets you excited and that you love doing. Try everything if you have to, just don’t stop until you uncover something that motivates you.
3. You let external forces control you
Is your boss telling you what to do every day? Is your life controlled by the bills you have to pay and your mortgage? These external factors will cripple your success if you allow everyone else to tell you what should be most important to you.
We all have bills to pay and the need to make an income, just don’t let that take over your entire life.
4. You give in to temptation
Are you one of those fat people on Friday night that drown themselves in pizza and beer to try and get happy? Stop giving in to your temptations all the time and have some discipline. You can’t have the life of a millionaire if you let simple little pleasures take you off the main game.
Marketers are experts at tempting us with items we don’t need and unless we become conscious of their tricks, and learn to say no, we’ll all continue to fail at life together.
5. You listen to anyone with an opinion
A friend of mine once said to me “Tim, opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one.” My friend is right we all have an opinion on every subject, but that doesn’t mean it’s a valuable one. People will always tell you what they think you should do, but they are not you.
Yes, you should take advice from others, just make sure you make your own decisions and don’t rely on everyone else to tell you what to do.
“There are so many perceived experts in this world that are nothing more than used car salesman with a cheap suit”
6. You are lazy
Getting out of bed is the first sign each morning that you are on top of your game or as lazy as an elephant on Sunday morning. Action is what will help you to succeed at life. If you can’t be stuffed getting up and having a go, then you will never get anywhere.
It’s time to get up off your butt and put the hours in. It’s time to work five times harder than you currently are and to find some new inspiration.
7. You don’t keep a tidy bedroom
No, I’m not your mom trying to tell you how to live your life. Having a tidy bedroom will tell you that you’re in control and it will keep your mind clear. It’s very hard to do your best work when there is stuff everywhere.
Success is about discipline and keeping a tidy bedroom is part of that regime. Pick the clothes up off the floor and stop living like a slob.
8. You continually put other people down
The easiest thing in the world is to criticise people for something they’re doing. Go to any major sporting game, and you’ll see plenty of people screaming at the players and telling them how bad they are at their chosen sport.
Putting people down is a fantastic way to fail at life. Forget about what everyone else is doing and focus on how you can be better at life. Instead of tearing people down and telling them all the things they’re horrible at, try giving them some inspiration and honoring their work.
The aim of the game is to build people up and find ways to give them constructive feedback that will help them.
9. You can’t stop swearing
Yes, I swear sometimes, and you probably do too. Don’t be a drunken sailor though and make it a habit of using bad language consistently. All you do by swearing too often is show people that you’re not in control and that you don’t have pride in yourself.
Sometimes swearing is needed to drive a point home or demonstrate a certain level of intensity. Most of the time, swearing is not required and serves no purpose.
10. You don’t take pride in the way you dress
How you present yourself is important. If your beard is always overgrown and you smell like you just rolled around in the urinal of a bathroom, no one is going to take you seriously. Take pride in your appearance and don’t be afraid to show your individuality at the same time.
Think about how you come across and know that when you dress well, you feel good too. Putting on a freshly dry-cleaned suit and your best tie makes you feel phenomenal. There doesn’t even need to be any good reason to dress up.
11. You wake up too late
One trait of ultra successful people is that they typically wake up very early. The average time I have measured is 5 am. The earlier you rise, the quicker you can start your day, and the more time you’ll have to get your to-do list done. Sleeping in late is hurting your success.
12. You never help others
When was the last time you did something for someone else without any good reason? You’ll fail at life if you don’t understand that giving makes the world go round. The more you help others, the more you’ll get what you want.
There doesn’t even need to be a reason to do something nice for someone. Learn to take up positive habits like helping others because of the standard that it forces you to uphold. Raise your standards by committing to kindness.
13. You think you’re already successful
So you’re one of those chumps that already thinks’ they’re successful. You might have the fancy car and the briefcase full of money, but that doesn’t make you successful. What’s holding you back is that you think you’ve already achieved everything. You haven’t.
When you reach a level of self-mastery that makes people give you a standing ovation when you walk in the room and fills their eyes with tears, then we can talk about your success. Until then, it’s time to go back to the drawing board and remember that there is always more room to grow.
Put your ego to rest young padawan there’s still plenty more to learn.
How are you going to turn things around? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
Change Your Mindset
How to Stay Motivated When Nothing Feels Exciting Anymore (The Strategy Nobody Talks About)
Let’s be honest. There are seasons where even your biggest dreams feel flat. You know you should be excited. You know you have goals. But the fire is gone and everything feels like a chore.
I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. And what I’ve learned is that the usual advice… “just find your why again” or “watch another motivational video”… actually makes it worse.
Because when motivation dies, it’s rarely because you forgot your goals. It’s because you’ve been running on emotion instead of systems. And emotions are temporary by design.
The real strategy is to stop chasing motivation and start engineering momentum.
Momentum is motivation’s quieter, more reliable cousin. It doesn’t require you to feel inspired. It only requires you to take the smallest possible action that moves you forward—and then protect that streak like your life depends on it.
Here’s the exact process I use when I feel stuck:
- Shrink the game ridiculously small. When I’m in a flat season, I don’t try to crush my biggest goal. I ask: “What’s the tiniest action that still counts as progress?” One paragraph. One sales call. One workout. One healthy meal. The goal is to win the day so completely that quitting feels harder than continuing.
- Track the streak, not the results. Results take time. Streaks give you dopamine today. I keep a simple calendar and mark an X every day I show up. The chain becomes more important than the outcome. James Clear talks about this in Atomic Habits, and it works because the human brain hates breaking a chain once it’s formed.
- Change your environment before you try to change your mind. Motivation follows action, but action follows environment. I’ve rearranged my office, deleted distracting apps, or even gone to a new coffee shop just to break the pattern of procrastination. Sometimes your brain needs new inputs to create new outputs.
- Remember that flat seasons are data, not failure. Every high performer I know has gone through periods where nothing felt exciting. Those seasons aren’t signs you’re off path—they’re signs you’re leveling up. The old goals no longer light you up because you’ve outgrown them. This is the moment to either go deeper on what you have or quietly upgrade to something bigger.
The beautiful part is that once you build momentum through tiny, consistent actions, the excitement eventually returns… stronger than before. Because now it’s based on evidence instead of hope.
You don’t need to feel motivated to start. You only need to decide that showing up is non-negotiable.
The fire comes back for people who refuse to let the flat season define them.
Change Your Mindset
The Brutal Truth About Why Most People Never Reach Their Full Potential (And the One Shift That Changes Everything)
You’ve felt it, haven’t you? That quiet frustration when another year slips by and your big goals still feel just out of reach. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re simply stuck in the same invisible pattern that keeps 99% of people playing small while a tiny fraction seem to explode forward.
I’ve watched it happen for years… smart, driven people who read the books, watch the videos, even set the goals… and then quietly settle. The reason isn’t what most gurus tell you. It’s not lack of knowledge. It’s not even lack of discipline.
It’s identity.
Most people are still trying to achieve success while secretly identifying as the version of themselves that hasn’t succeeded yet. They wake up every morning as the “almost there” person. And the brain protects that identity at all costs.
The shift that changes everything is simple but brutal: You don’t become successful and then change how you see yourself. You decide who you’re going to be first—right now, before the evidence shows up—and then you act like that person until the results catch up.
Think about it. The entrepreneur who builds a seven-figure business doesn’t wait until the money hits the bank to start thinking like a CEO. She starts making decisions like one today. The writer who finally publishes the book doesn’t wait for permission or perfect conditions. He sits down and writes like someone who’s already a bestselling author.
This isn’t fake-it-till-you-make-it fluff. This is identity-based behavior change—the kind backed by real psychology and lived by every person who’s ever broken through.
Here’s how you actually do it:
Start by asking yourself one dangerous question every morning: “What would the future version of me—the one who already has what I want… do today?”
Then do that. Even if it feels uncomfortable. Especially if it feels uncomfortable.
Stop negotiating with your old self. The one who hits snooze. The one who scrolls instead of creates. The one who says “I’ll start Monday.”
That version of you is comfortable. And comfort is the silent killer of potential.
I’ve seen people transform their lives in weeks once they stopped trying to “get motivated” and started acting from a new identity. The results compound faster than you expect because every action reinforces who you now are.
The game isn’t about doing more. It’s about becoming someone who naturally does what success requires.
So right now, decide.
Who are you becoming? And what’s one thing that version of you would do differently today?
Because the moment you decide—and act like it’s already true—the world starts bending in your favor.
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