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Why the Primal Necessity of Showing the Real You Leads to Success

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In today’s society, where conformity has become the norm, it has become tough to find real people. In our efforts to fit in we dress, behave, and eat the same as everyone else, forgetting our individuality is what makes us remarkable. Of course, acting in a certain way makes you fit in with particular crowds.

But why would you want to be the same as everyone else when you can stand out by being unapologetically real? Research indicates that people who show their authentic selves are more successful than those who try to fit in with the crowd. Read on to find out why the primal necessity of showing a real you leads to success.

Accept yourself as you are

In recent times, authentic people are the minority, but, fortunately, more people are learning the benefits of remaining unique and going against the norm. You have a purpose that nobody who has ever lived or who will ever live doesn’t have. Being unapologetically real leads you to discover your purpose. Until you conclude peace with yourself and let yourself be yourself, you, most likely can’t build a strong relationship with somebody who you like.

You are confident

Being confident is not easy, and the best place to develop and improve it is by starting at the source, you. Being yourself makes you a unique person. You can identify your strengths as well as weaknesses, which enables you to have higher self-esteem. Your weaknesses can no longer be used against you because you have already accepted them. You can stick up for your beliefs without caring what anyone will think of you.

Confidence in your true abilities pushes you to take risks that a person who is used to conforming to societal standards would not. Furthermore, confidence attracts confidence. A confident, authentic person draws people who have the same qualities which gets you a supportive group of friends.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” – Brene Brown

You have an open mind/passionate

One of the best benefits of being the real you is that you have an open mind. You accept that you can’t have control over your thoughts all the time and hence are more open to ideas. The beliefs of others don’t confine you, and you accept that you are not all-knowing. You pile up ideas on ways to approach different situations hence strengthening yourself. By having an open mind, you know that mistakes happen and that there is the possibility of failure. You use your mistakes as an opportunity to learn other people’s perspectives and make yourself better.

You live in the moment

Tomorrow is not promised. Why would you take for granted this gift of life by wasting it trying to be someone you are not? The best time to be the real you is now. When a person decides to live in the moment, their lives become happier and more satisfied. Enjoying every little time you have now makes you more present-minded. Instead of spending your time regretting or worrying about your past or what the future may bring, why don’t you simply enjoy the present you have?

We sometimes make the mistake of having expectations on ourselves that are too high to achieve leading to disappointments. Many people give up when things don’t work out the way they would like. Maybe you have been waiting for that promotion for a year now, but it doesn’t seem to be happening. Accept your reality and keep working hard towards your goal trusting that it will happen eventually.

You are authentic

As it is about art portraits ‘be an original.’ An original is worth more than a fake. Although there is no easy road to success, you can make your journey easier by being authentic. Authenticity means that your decisions are not affected by pressures from outside influences. It means going against the norms and standing for your beliefs. Genuine people become successful. Decision making becomes a bit easier because you are better able to say no to things you don’t support.

You trust your instincts more and can differentiate between honest people and those that are not. When building a business, you definitely don’t want to be surrounded by people who are dishonest with you. People will trust the quality of your work. People who don’t feel the need to make excuses for their mistakes are admirable.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

You don’t owe anyone anything

Do you often feel the need to explain your actions to people? Or are you one of those who apologize for everything? It is about time you stop doing that. You don’t owe anyone anything. Be unapologetically yourself, you will be happier. Why should you apologize for being you? We usually ask for so little for ourselves forgetting that we deserve all the love, kindness and care that we give to others.

When you embrace that and love the reflection you see in the mirror, you become more confident and can go for your goals knowing you deserve it. You hear people say things like, ‘I owe my boss a lot for giving me this promotion,’ or ‘I owe my spouse a lot for sticking with me’. Don’t mistake gratitude for debt. If you worked for it, you deserved it. You don’t owe anything to anyone except yourself.

You remember how to dream

Living your life as someone you aren’t can be very stressful and might even feel like a battle you have to fight every day. Your thoughts become constrained to a particular way of thinking. However, once you embrace the real you, life becomes a bit easier. You are less stressed, and you can be creative and passionate about dreams you have been locking away.

Can you imagine just how happy you’d be if you lived your life doing what you love? Why would you want to live in this world fulfilling other people’s dreams and putting yours on hold? You were born to shine. You will be doing an injustice to the world by hiding that light.

It is both mentally and physically exhausting going about every day of your life pretending to be something you aren’t. Walk in your own shoes that fit instead of walking in someone else’s that may be too small for you. If you can’t be yourself who else can you be?

Kevin Whalez is a relationship coach specializing in breakups and divorce and a freelance blogger as well. He is into writing articles where he gives give recommendations on how to handle mental and health issues. He currently runs Potency Up resource.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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