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The Power of Being Perseverant for Your Vision

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“I was shaken, I got hurt, wounded and I was offended, threatened…yet, here I am, still, the most beautiful, the strongest, the most magnificent. The ones who shook me, the ones who offended me, the ones who scarred me, they all are long gone. The kids who played games around me, the ones who fought for me, the ones who worshipped inside me are long gone, but here I am, the most beautiful, the strongest, the most magnificent, standing upright, rising into the sky. I haven’t shattered to the ground and I will still be here when you all will have been long gone” says Hagia Sophia.

The city I was born and raised in, modern day Istanbul, is privileged to have been the birthplace, and the hometown of this marvelous wonder, Holy Wisdom, Hagia Sophia.Hagia Sophia was built by the order of Byzantium Emperor Justinian I, in the 6th century, as Eastern Orthodox Cathedral. Then it was a Roman Catholic Church for a while, and then Orthodox Cathedral again, then a Mosque and a Museum today. These are the titles we gave her, I wonder what she would call herself.

Every time I walk inside this marvelous beauty with a magnificent dome, stretching over a 100-foot-diameter, supported by four pendentives to rise 180 feet from its pavement, the thing always strikes me most is what I see in the apse (a large semicircular space in a church, with a domed roof). There, Virgin Mary, holding Jesus, right between the medallions featuring the names of Allah (God) and Mohammed are all in the same frame. I have not seen something similar anywhere else in the world yet, which speaks to Hagia Sophia’s unparalleled level of diversity.

However, Hagia Sophia means something more and stands for something else for me. It is perseverance. Despite all the earthquakes, power struggles, conquests, cold, heat, storms, thunder bolts, you name it, she survived to the day. With all my respect to her architectural builders, Isidore of Miletus and Anthemius of Tralles and each and every person who put a brick during construction, then everyone who helped with restoration, she has been perseverant herself for some fifteen centuries, and is still the most beautiful, the strongest and the most magnificent, despite everything she has been through.

The Dictionary defines perseverance as “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties.” We also hear the word perseverance a lot in our lives, especially in business, in the context of staying locked in to our goals and achieving them despite the challenges and the constraints we face along the way. 

“Perseverance, secret of all triumphs” – Victor Hugo

What does it take to be perseverant?

In order to be perseverant, they say; keep working, have a strong and growth mindset, discipline, can-do attitude, willpower…list goes on. We are human beings, we are fragile, we are vulnerable. When we face challenges or feel attacked emotionally, or rejected, we might feel low, we might want to give up, we have all been there.

To be perseverant in those tough situations, one thing surely helps, believing in the vision we set for our lives or for our work, believing in ourselves, and our potential to achieve that vision.

That’s what helped the elite athletes, the most notable figures in history and even the mythical characters. They set a vision for themselves and they pursued that vision no matter what. The journey to that vision is not straightforward, the plan never works exactly as we think it would. There will be obstacles, limitations, emotionally down times. There will be naysayers, there will be retreats and lost battles. Believing in our vision and ourselves give us the strength to comeback with perseverance and win the war despite some lost battles.

You heard you cannot solve that problem, you heard you cannot pass that exam. You heard you cannot get that job, you were declined to get that promotion. You heard you will not win that game, you were told you cannot break that record. What helped you prove those naysayers wrong was your belief in achieving that vision and your belief in yourself. That tortoise’s perseverance and belief enabled getting to the finish line before the hare.

Be an Achiever, not just a dreamer

Set a vision for yourself, it could be for your life or for your work or simply about where you want to be in three years from now. Make a stretch one, and then build a plan to get there. What are the key milestones? What are the skills you will need? What qualifications will be critical to get there? The plan will have to be adjusted due to the changes you cannot control. There will be zigzags and setbacks, but your vision will help you course correct and put you back on the right path. Being perseverant to achieve your vision will prevent you from sailing wherever the wind takes you, because you will adjust your sails.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Achilles wanted to have his name known for centuries. Alexander the Great’s vision was to reach the ends of the world. Marcus Aurelius had a shared vision with Plato, being a philosopher king. Genghis Khan aspired to consolidate all nomadic tribes under his rule. Marie Curie never lost her determination to excel in her scientific career in a male-dominated field. Nicholas Tesla dreamed of wireless electricity. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.

Not all dreamers are achievers; however, all achievers are dreamers. What made them achievers, not only dreamers, was their perseverance. Whenever I need aspiration, Hagia Sophia will be right there for me, with her beauty, strength and wisdom.

What is your dream and are you perseverant to make that dream come true? 

I am Kaan Demiryurek, and I currently work at PepsiCo, R&D. I am an engineer by background, BSc. Food Engineering, and I have big interest in philosophy, psychology and history, as I believe personal interest in these areas complements well with my educational background. Here is my LinkedIn profile, http://linkedin.com/in/kaan-demiryurek-3513691b.

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Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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