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Sometimes You Have to Ditch Your Vision to Discover Your Calling

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You manifested your vision, and now you’re living your deepest calling. Or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself. But you don’t sleep well. Your body feels sluggish and unsteady. Your appetite is nearly non-existent, as are your self-care routines. Worst of all, the intense workload is creating physical or attentive distance between you and the people and activities you love.

Still, the thought of leaving is inconceivable. After all, this was your vision; how could it have led you astray? And how could there possibly be a greater calling for you than this?

This scenario played out in my life years ago, when I followed a vision to open up a yoga studio. It is only now, having left that world to become an author and freelance writer, can I see how my vision prevented me from discovering my true calling for far too long.

Heeding a Calling

“There is no greater gift to give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” – Oprah

You’ve got a great vision for yourself. You picture yourself doing this far into the future. But is it a vision that is in support of your greater calling? Or is it merely a shiny ball, keeping you distracted and too busy to fulfill something richer? Here are four questions to ask yourself to find out:

1. Where did the vision originate?

A true calling is often so unusual and unique, it will make your ego—which is more comfortable with conformity and mix-and-match creations— quake in its boots. True callings originate far beyond an ego’s temporary hungers for validity and approval. If the vision originated to soothe your ego’s lack of confidence or as a way to gain desired acceptance, it’s likely not a true calling but a temporary vision. On the other hand, if your vision scares you (and your ego), it might well be the real deal.

2. Who is the vision trying to please?

A vision can be born out of other people’s opinions and expectations for us without us actually knowing it. For example, you envision yourself becoming a doctor because your parents were doctors. You plan to go into theater or sports because that’s what the people around you enjoy. You might be a natural at something, even if it would be better as a hobby.

A calling, on the other hand, is pure and untouchable. It doesn’t try to please anyone but merely seeks expression. And that’s okay, because when you find your calling, it won’t matter to you what anyone thinks. One hint: A powerful calling is often more in line with what society needs rather than what it wants.

3. How far can you trace the vision back?

Our calling is an innate part of us; it was born when we were. But, as we grow older and get inundated with societal influences, our early loves and passions can get buried or silenced. 

Then, moving through life, we might become infatuated with some new thing, and immediately determine that that’s our vision for the future. But like many doomed love affairs, an infatuation often cools and interest wanes. 

Not so with a calling. You’ll know something is a true calling if it never goes away, no matter what we might cover it up with temporarily. Try thinking back to what you loved most as a child. Were you a natural peacemaker? Did you love organizational or strategic games? Did you take diligent notes? Your childhood loves and innate talents can give you a clue as to what your true calling is.

4. What kind of payment/sacrifice is your vision asking for?

Both a temporary vision and a deeper calling will demand certain sacrifices from us to bring them to fruition. But what, exactly, are they demanding? Are they demanding you walk away from people and activities you love? Are they overshadowing your needs for leisure, travel, or other personal desires? If your vision forces you to choose between the other activities and people you love, it might not be a true calling.

True callings magically and seamlessly weave all the parts of ourselves together into a cohesive sense of rightness. Keep in mind this simple wisdom: Temporary visions can swallow us whole. True callings make us whole.

Finding your calling can provide a sense of wholeness and rightness that breathes life into the deepest, truest voice within you. When in the throws of following a vision, it can be easy to assume you’ve found your calling. But even the most potent vision is not necessarily a reflection of our calling. So, look closely at where your vision originated, who it is pleasing, how far you can trace it back, and what kind of payment it is demanding. Then and only then can you gain the clarity you need and, if necessary, ditch your vision to make space for your calling.

Keri Mangis is an author and freelance writer/speaker. Her work has appeared in Elephant Journal, Addicted2Success, The Good Men Project, Mindful Word, Thought Catalog, The Edge Magazine, Essential Wellness, and others. She writes about culture/society, spirituality, personal growth, transformation, and empowerment. She is the award-winning author of Embodying Soul: A Return to Wholeness. Learn more about Keri’s journey here.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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