In the past year I’ve been rejected a monstrous amount of times. I kept getting knocked down, but then like a phoenix I’d rise again. And again. And again. Rejection builds resilience.
I never used to take rejection as easily as I do today. It used to bother me, affect me, and I even considered the person rejecting me to be a hater. Or at least someone who clearly has a problem with me. Which can be the case but it’s a broken way to think.
Thinking like this can damage your self confidence in the long run and can cause you to quit on yourself too early, blame, make excuses and never try again. That’s a disastrous road to travel down.
So how do you deal with all that “pain” in the face of countless rejections? How is it possible to still be confident in the face of rejection?
Here are 5 ways to remain confident when dealing with rejection:
1. Look at it logically, not emotionally
Emotions have their place. There’s a time to use your emotions and a time not to use them. How you use your emotions while dealing with rejection is the vital to your success.
The main reasons a person rejects you is because:
- They’re not ready to say yes yet.
- They don’t see the value.
- You’ve caught them at a bad time.
- You’re dealing with the wrong person.
- They genuinely don’t like you.
Looking at that from a logical perspective, you can move forward from it and let it go. Whereas if you look at it emotionally, you’ll upset yourself and hold yourself back.
Focus on what can be done, changed, then follow through with it. Don’t get caught up in your emotions. It’ll be your downfall. Each time I’m rejected I look at it from a logical perspective, so I don’t get caught up in the rejection itself.
“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” – Bo Bennett
2. Keep your eyes on the prize
Wallowing in rejection isn’t the best way to go about it. You’re only wasting your time and time has no patience for anybody.
Rejection will phase you only if you focus on it. And that’s the key here. Keep your focus on the things that matter most to you; your goals, your intentions, and your dreams. Priorities matter more than the rejections you face along the way.
3. Work on your skills
To some degree the rejections you face are based on your skill sets. How skilled you are and how good you are can influence the outcome of rejection.
In my first year of blogging I was rejected by everybody. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But overtime my skills have been polished and my results continue to improve.
Even if your skills aren’t the direct cause of rejection, it’s still worth working on them. Because the more skilled you become, the better you’ll be able to position yourself. And that will without a doubt lead to the outcome and achievements you’re looking for.
4. Work on your attitude
When rejected in the past I’d say “what a hater”. That’s a bad attitude to have, so my results weren’t surprising.
A bad attitude will smash your self confidence like a brick to a window. In fact, a bad attitude will stop you from jumping over your rejections and leaving them behind.
Even If you don’t feel good about the rejection, have a good attitude and move on. You’ll feel much better and will handle it a lot better. Keep that up and you’ll breeze through each rejection without any sign of slowing down.
“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” – Albert Einstein
5. Learn what works and what doesn’t
Knowledge is not only power if used, but it’s confidence as well. All it takes is gaining that much more knowledge than you already have to boost your self confidence. Knowing how to do something helps you to be confident in the things you’re doing.
So after so many rejections I faced or face, I look at my ratio of successes, what could be changed and how I can improve next time.
You can also read about the subject I’m dealing with from people who’ve crossed the hurdle I’m trying to jump over. Then I put that newfound knowledge into action. Practicality is important. Knowledge is meaningless without it.
Thank you for sharing. You might never see the wonders your words of wisdom do on most of us but thank you
You hit the nail on the head my friend 🙂
Thanks for commenting, Laura!
Thanks for sharing, Theo! Rejection does build resilience. Someone who has never been rejected probably hasn’t tried to expand beyond their comforts. I think of rejection as a way of redirecting me to my greater purpose. Each rejection brings more determination, knowledge, creativity. and growth. Thanks for adding in your personal experience with rejection as a blogger. I’ve started a new blog and I’m looking forward to this new journey and all of the learning experiences it will bring. I’ve been competing in pageants for over 5 years and have experienced multiple rejections that have increased my courage. I use my pageant experiences to empower women to be bold in their careers.
Exactly, Charlene! Rejection makes you a better, stronger, wiser person as long as you look at it from the right perspective. And avoid the emotional side of it, which can hold you back. That’s great, if you need any help with the blogging side of things, just ask. Keep persevering, and thank you for commenting!