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5 Steps To Regain Confidence After A Failure

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how to regain confidence after failure

Throughout my life, I have felt my confidence drop suddenly—after receiving the news I hadn’t been accepted into the college of my choice—or gradually—after watching the failure of my daily efforts to promote one of my programs.

Every time I felt a lack of confidence, I lost precious time second-guessing my next step and feeling sorry for myself. That’s why I learned that regaining my confidence must be a priority if I want to succeed.

Here are the 5-steps I followed to regain my confidence after a failure, which might help you when you feel unsure about your ability to achieve what you want:

1. Become an objective observer

When things don’t work according to plan, it’s easy to let your disappointment take over. You might start visualizing doomsday scenarios and decide that success is out of reach forever.

To assume an objective perspective, imagine that your current life events are part of a movie you’re watching in your living room. What seemed to be the end of the world might become “interesting.”

In my case, when my business efforts failed, I took a step back and realized I was feeling defeated by the failure of only one out of my many programs. That’s when I also noticed the progress I had made throughout the years, and started to feel my confidence return.

When you become more objective and less emotionally attached to what has happened, you might also experience the ability to see “the silver lining.”

“The physical world, including our bodies, is a response of the observer. We create our bodies as we create the experience of our world.” – Deepak Chopra 

2. Remove your focus from what’s wrong

If you tend to obsess over what is NOT working, you’re not alone. We’re drawn to place our attention on what isn’t working in hopes to get rid of the problem.

However, the more time you spend thinking about your failure or problem, the worse you’ll feel about yourself and the less time you’ll have to devise a solution.

When things go wrong, ask yourself the following 2 questions:

  1. What have I learned about myself / my career / my business?
  2. What can I do today to avoid the same result in the future?

The answers to these questions will help you shift to problem-solving mode. I personally learned a great deal about what doesn’t work in marketing as a result of my business failure.

 

3Take inventory of what you do well and celebrate it

There isn’t a better time to give yourself a pat on the back than after you have failed at something.

Take out a notepad and list your top five accomplishments in life. Then, list your top 5 skills. Your skills may include anything from being a great writer to knowing how to bake delicious brownies. Anything goes!

Feel proud of your accomplishments and skills, and you’ll realize that you have the ability to succeed again.

I said to myself that although I had failed, I still had skills and knowledge that were changing the lives of many people. Most importantly, I reminded myself that I would always have my integrity, perseverance, and passion for what I do.

 

4. Preparation

Just as you feel most confident when you have studied for a test or rehearsed a presentation, you will feel a boost of confidence when you learn as much as you can to avoid a repeated failure.

Your preparation could include pursuing further training or education, connecting with people who might be able to help you, or even mentally rehearsing what you will do next time a similar situation arises.

I sought advice from my business mentors and implemented new strategies to fix what hadn’t worked in my business. The harder I worked, the more confident I felt. Competence brings confidence!

 

5. Visualize success

Daydreaming isn’t a waste of time when it allows you to feel more confident and when it inspires you to take positive action.

Imagine you were given a magic wand so that you could fix what didn’t work and experience continued success. What would happen? How would you feel?

Next, determine the first step to make your dream a reality. If your first thought is that what you imagined will never happen, then take action anyway and return to the visualization process a few days later.

In time, your visualized future will feel more attainable to you, and like it happened to me, you’ll feel the high confidence level you need to succeed.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

Be patient as you follow this process to regain confidence. Acknowledge your emotions but remain grounded. Most importantly, remember that your value isn’t dependent on what you achieve or don’t achieve. Always honor your magnificence!

How do you regain confidence after a failure? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Cloris Kylie, Marketing MBA, helps coaches, consultants, and service-based professionals to attract the right clients so that they skyrocket their impact and revenue. A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, "Entrepreneur On Fire." Cloris's articles have been published on websites with millions of followers. Visit her website here https://www.cloriskylie.com and get her free eBook to build authority and grow your audience here: https://myplatform.info/free-pdf-ebook.

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Aug 8, 2016 at 11:56 am

    I am truly pleased to read this webpage posts which includes plenty of useful data, thanks for providing these statistics.

  2. Pingback: 6 Ways To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure As A Startup Entrepreneur – STEPS TO EXCELLENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

  3. Shakir Mazumder

    Jan 28, 2016 at 8:44 am

    I love this steps.This really helped me to get rid of negative thoughts. Thanks for all this

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Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

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Although a vast majority of people think that creativity is something you are born with, the truth is a bit different. While we cannot deny that you need natural talent to a certain extent, stimulating creative thinking is indeed a matter of practice. If you give this thought a bit of thinking, you can realize pretty quickly that even the most fascinating and creative minds have faced the lack of creativity at some point in their lives. (more…)

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