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5 Steps To Regain Confidence After A Failure

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Throughout my life, I have felt my confidence drop suddenly—after receiving the news I hadn’t been accepted into the college of my choice—or gradually—after watching the failure of my daily efforts to promote one of my programs.

Every time I felt a lack of confidence, I lost precious time second-guessing my next step and feeling sorry for myself. That’s why I learned that regaining my confidence must be a priority if I want to succeed.

Here are the 5-steps I followed to regain my confidence after a failure, which might help you when you feel unsure about your ability to achieve what you want:

1. Become an objective observer

When things don’t work according to plan, it’s easy to let your disappointment take over. You might start visualizing doomsday scenarios and decide that success is out of reach forever.

To assume an objective perspective, imagine that your current life events are part of a movie you’re watching in your living room. What seemed to be the end of the world might become “interesting.”

In my case, when my business efforts failed, I took a step back and realized I was feeling defeated by the failure of only one out of my many programs. That’s when I also noticed the progress I had made throughout the years, and started to feel my confidence return.

When you become more objective and less emotionally attached to what has happened, you might also experience the ability to see “the silver lining.”

“The physical world, including our bodies, is a response of the observer. We create our bodies as we create the experience of our world.” – Deepak Chopra 

2. Remove your focus from what’s wrong

If you tend to obsess over what is NOT working, you’re not alone. We’re drawn to place our attention on what isn’t working in hopes to get rid of the problem.

However, the more time you spend thinking about your failure or problem, the worse you’ll feel about yourself and the less time you’ll have to devise a solution.

When things go wrong, ask yourself the following 2 questions:

  1. What have I learned about myself / my career / my business?
  2. What can I do today to avoid the same result in the future?

The answers to these questions will help you shift to problem-solving mode. I personally learned a great deal about what doesn’t work in marketing as a result of my business failure.

 

3Take inventory of what you do well and celebrate it

There isn’t a better time to give yourself a pat on the back than after you have failed at something.

Take out a notepad and list your top five accomplishments in life. Then, list your top 5 skills. Your skills may include anything from being a great writer to knowing how to bake delicious brownies. Anything goes!

Feel proud of your accomplishments and skills, and you’ll realize that you have the ability to succeed again.

I said to myself that although I had failed, I still had skills and knowledge that were changing the lives of many people. Most importantly, I reminded myself that I would always have my integrity, perseverance, and passion for what I do.

 

4. Preparation

Just as you feel most confident when you have studied for a test or rehearsed a presentation, you will feel a boost of confidence when you learn as much as you can to avoid a repeated failure.

Your preparation could include pursuing further training or education, connecting with people who might be able to help you, or even mentally rehearsing what you will do next time a similar situation arises.

I sought advice from my business mentors and implemented new strategies to fix what hadn’t worked in my business. The harder I worked, the more confident I felt. Competence brings confidence!

 

5. Visualize success

Daydreaming isn’t a waste of time when it allows you to feel more confident and when it inspires you to take positive action.

Imagine you were given a magic wand so that you could fix what didn’t work and experience continued success. What would happen? How would you feel?

Next, determine the first step to make your dream a reality. If your first thought is that what you imagined will never happen, then take action anyway and return to the visualization process a few days later.

In time, your visualized future will feel more attainable to you, and like it happened to me, you’ll feel the high confidence level you need to succeed.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

Be patient as you follow this process to regain confidence. Acknowledge your emotions but remain grounded. Most importantly, remember that your value isn’t dependent on what you achieve or don’t achieve. Always honor your magnificence!

How do you regain confidence after a failure? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Cloris Kylie, Marketing MBA, helps coaches, consultants, and service-based professionals to attract the right clients so that they skyrocket their impact and revenue. A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, "Entrepreneur On Fire." Cloris's articles have been published on websites with millions of followers. Visit her website here https://www.cloriskylie.com and get her free eBook to build authority and grow your audience here: https://myplatform.info/free-pdf-ebook.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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