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5 Steps To Regain Confidence After A Failure

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Throughout my life, I have felt my confidence drop suddenly—after receiving the news I hadn’t been accepted into the college of my choice—or gradually—after watching the failure of my daily efforts to promote one of my programs.

Every time I felt a lack of confidence, I lost precious time second-guessing my next step and feeling sorry for myself. That’s why I learned that regaining my confidence must be a priority if I want to succeed.

Here are the 5-steps I followed to regain my confidence after a failure, which might help you when you feel unsure about your ability to achieve what you want:

1. Become an objective observer

When things don’t work according to plan, it’s easy to let your disappointment take over. You might start visualizing doomsday scenarios and decide that success is out of reach forever.

To assume an objective perspective, imagine that your current life events are part of a movie you’re watching in your living room. What seemed to be the end of the world might become “interesting.”

In my case, when my business efforts failed, I took a step back and realized I was feeling defeated by the failure of only one out of my many programs. That’s when I also noticed the progress I had made throughout the years, and started to feel my confidence return.

When you become more objective and less emotionally attached to what has happened, you might also experience the ability to see “the silver lining.”

“The physical world, including our bodies, is a response of the observer. We create our bodies as we create the experience of our world.” – Deepak Chopra 

2. Remove your focus from what’s wrong

If you tend to obsess over what is NOT working, you’re not alone. We’re drawn to place our attention on what isn’t working in hopes to get rid of the problem.

However, the more time you spend thinking about your failure or problem, the worse you’ll feel about yourself and the less time you’ll have to devise a solution.

When things go wrong, ask yourself the following 2 questions:

  1. What have I learned about myself / my career / my business?
  2. What can I do today to avoid the same result in the future?

The answers to these questions will help you shift to problem-solving mode. I personally learned a great deal about what doesn’t work in marketing as a result of my business failure.

 

3Take inventory of what you do well and celebrate it

There isn’t a better time to give yourself a pat on the back than after you have failed at something.

Take out a notepad and list your top five accomplishments in life. Then, list your top 5 skills. Your skills may include anything from being a great writer to knowing how to bake delicious brownies. Anything goes!

Feel proud of your accomplishments and skills, and you’ll realize that you have the ability to succeed again.

I said to myself that although I had failed, I still had skills and knowledge that were changing the lives of many people. Most importantly, I reminded myself that I would always have my integrity, perseverance, and passion for what I do.

 

4. Preparation

Just as you feel most confident when you have studied for a test or rehearsed a presentation, you will feel a boost of confidence when you learn as much as you can to avoid a repeated failure.

Your preparation could include pursuing further training or education, connecting with people who might be able to help you, or even mentally rehearsing what you will do next time a similar situation arises.

I sought advice from my business mentors and implemented new strategies to fix what hadn’t worked in my business. The harder I worked, the more confident I felt. Competence brings confidence!

 

5. Visualize success

Daydreaming isn’t a waste of time when it allows you to feel more confident and when it inspires you to take positive action.

Imagine you were given a magic wand so that you could fix what didn’t work and experience continued success. What would happen? How would you feel?

Next, determine the first step to make your dream a reality. If your first thought is that what you imagined will never happen, then take action anyway and return to the visualization process a few days later.

In time, your visualized future will feel more attainable to you, and like it happened to me, you’ll feel the high confidence level you need to succeed.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

Be patient as you follow this process to regain confidence. Acknowledge your emotions but remain grounded. Most importantly, remember that your value isn’t dependent on what you achieve or don’t achieve. Always honor your magnificence!

How do you regain confidence after a failure? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Cloris Kylie, Marketing MBA, helps coaches, consultants, and service-based professionals to attract the right clients so that they skyrocket their impact and revenue. A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, "Entrepreneur On Fire." Cloris's articles have been published on websites with millions of followers. Visit her website here https://www.cloriskylie.com and get her free eBook to build authority and grow your audience here: https://myplatform.info/free-pdf-ebook.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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