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4 Ways You Can Improve Your Self-Esteem Without Sabotaging Yourself

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Stop feeling sorry for yourself and in case you’ve never been told, “sorry is a weak word.” You might even think your problem is unique and no one will ever know how you feel on the inside, but you know what?

Most of the time, people are all struggling with some basic problem and you’re not alone. You’re not the only one struggling from depressing moods and remain unhappy. You’re not the only one who receives bullying at school or suffering from a poor family relationship.

Moreover, you’re not the only one suffering from depression and low self-esteem. Almost everyone faces crucial problems such as deep pain, sadness, and self-doubt. Nevertheless, the feeling of not finding the motivation to do anything and the feeling of being in the darkest days of your life is insidious.

It gnaws at your social life, eating, studying, confidence, and, in other words, practically everything. It even causes talented people to give up and feel that the whole world has turned its back on them. And that’s why that needs to stop now.

If you want to improve your self-esteem, stay in a good mood, and become a happier person during every day of your life, here are some tips you need to put in place:

1. Accept The Fact That You’re In Charge Of Your Life

The fact is, in your life journey, you’re the one in the driver’s seat; you’re the one who makes the decision on what direction to drive every day of your life.

You might see people waving their hands on the road, asking you for a lift through your life’s journey, but you’re the one who makes the decision if you are going to help them or not.

Whenever there is an occasion that might lead to an accident and you’re only left with two options to make, you’re the one who gets to make the decision whether to dodge to the left or to the right.

The people inside the car might pull at you, some might give a shout, saying that turning to the left side is the correct way, but you’re the one who makes the decision and you will be the one to take responsibility for whatever happens to you.

Lil Wayne wrote: “you can play a role in my life, but not the lead.” If you understand this, you will grow. If you don’t, you will end up becoming what people want you to become instead of becoming what you want to become!

So start right now, make a pledge to yourself to take responsibility for whatever has happened to you in the past and resolve that from now on for any decision or situation, you’ll always remember and accept that you’re the one in control.

“Only you can control your future.” – Dr. Seuss

2. Join The 20% At The Top

The top 20% of the people in our society, earn and control 80% of the assets. According to Forbes and the Wall Street Journal, the top 1% of Americans earns and controls as much as 33% of the assets.

And the most interesting part of the discovery is that most millionaires, billionaires, and multi-billionaires started with nothing. In fact, they were once in the bottom 20% and worked their way up to the top 20%.

How did this set of people work their way to the top? Could it be a sort of super magic work? The truth is that they began to do something different with their lives, and in time, they start learning and doing the things that other successful people were doing.

You can also join the top 20% of the people in your society by doing something different that will make you stand out from the crowd. No one becomes excellent by accident; excellence requires a definite decision and a life-long commitment. So what others have done, you can do as well.

 

3. Learn The 3% Rule

Here’s a secret the big boys at the top will never tell you. However, the fact is that successful people do have a life-long formula that helps them grow quickly and keeps them in good shape for every day of their life-long commitment.

And the secret is that they make a decision to invest a certain amount of their income into their life. But here’s the one that has worked perfectly for majority of successful people. They simply invest 3% of their income into their life.

You can do this monthly or annually, whatever seems to work the best for you. If your annual income is $50,000 resolve to invest 3% of this income or $1500 into yourself.

So how on earth do you invest 3% of your income into your life? First, write down everything you think that will quickly help you achieve your goals. Then spend the 3% investment in yourself by purchasing all the materials that will help you learn and to quickly progress toward achieving your goals.

You can buy books, go to seminars, buy audio tapes, or hire a mentor. Whatever you think will help you swiftly proceed toward achieving your goals. This could be the best self-rewarding habit that you can ever teach yourself. Put this into practice now and see the new person you’ve become.

 

4. Strive To Become The Best

This means learning how to follow the leaders instead of following the followers. Make a list of the people you admire most. Ask yourself why you admire them and what you can do to become like them.

Indulge yourself into doing whatever they do, or to do better than they do. For example, Stephen King mentioned in one of his books that he reads at least 70 books a year. Do your best and set a goal of reading 75 to 80 books a year.

You probably understand what I mean now, you see, the key to becoming the best is to find what successful people do and break new ground by becoming someone that does it better.

If you can learn how to put all this into action, you will have done what 70% of the people who read this post won’t do. And I’m guessing that you don’t want to be part of those folks.

The best way to get results is to take action, so start your action now and see how positive you’ll become and what results you will get.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.”            – Tony Robbins

What are you going to commit to today that will help you in the future? Leave your thoughts below!
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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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