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3 Simple Steps to Reinvent Your Extraordinary Life

We reinvent ourselves from a chaser of things to a creator of meaning.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

76% of people die with the same regret. “Not fulfilling their ideal self.”

This is from a Cornell study conducted a few years back.

The “ideal self” is the attributes you would ideally like to possess, such as hopes, goals, aspirations, or wishes. 

It’s the forsaken dreams, romantic interests not pursued, and choosing the “safe” job instead of the adventurous position.

It ties nicely to the #1 regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

So how do you become the minority? 

How do you become the 24%?

First, we must understand that we have two double whammies to contend with.

1. Our lizard brains

Our deepest human need is to survive.

Our brains are survival machines and nothing more. They’re designed to keep us alive. 

As part of this hard-wiring, we’re also efficiency machines.

Our brains seek the path of least resistance. It’s a primal desire to conserve calories to ensure our survival. 

Anything outside our comfort zone is unknown and, therefore, an “unnecessary’ risk.

So we seek the comfort of not leaping into our unforsaken dreams, the comfort of not being rejected by the romantic interest, the comfort of the “safe” job.

Complacency trumps courage.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

2. Conditioning

We’re conditioned by family, friends, and society to chase certain things to be happy.

Those things are almost always outside ourselves: 

The right job title, the right amount of money, the right car, the right clothes, etc. 

The most significant trouble with externals is that they do supply happiness in the short term. 

Long-term, they transform into regrets; for example, the parent who worked 80-hour weeks to maintain a house that was too big and missed family and connection time along the way. 

So back to the million-dollar question:

How do we become the 24%?

We reinvent ourselves from a chaser of things to a creator of meaning

Your purpose in life isn’t to stare at a spreadsheet all day or out-maneuver John for the corner office so you can chase more things. 

I believe there’s more than one purpose to life and one of them is this:

To find what makes us come alive, commit to its accomplishment, and share it with the world. 

These are the 3 C’s to a meaningful life.

Connect:

We must learn about ourselves, what matters to us, and who we are. We must get clear on who we want to be and want we want our lives to be.

We’ve got to connect with ourselves and find what makes us come alive. 

When we seek what makes us come alive (Life Calling), we connect with ourselves on a profound level. 

We create an opportunity to live in alignment. 

When we live in alignment, we cultivate deeper connections with those around us because we’re connected deeper to ourselves. 

We improve our relationships (with ourselves and others). 

We cultivate self-trust and confidence. 

We give purpose and meaning to our lives.

Create:

When we commit to creating/giving life to our Life Calling, we give ourselves one of the greatest gifts of being alive; we give ourselves a mission. 

A mission cultivates joy, intention, purpose, meaning, self-trust, confidence, and fulfillment. 

A mission gives us focus, direction, and aim. 

We wake up in the morning with reason and purpose. 

We give purpose and meaning to our lives.

Contribute:

When we share our creations, we give back to the world that gave us the ability to create what we created. 

We’re of service to something more significant than ourselves. We bring inspiration into the world and show others what’s possible, which creates more creation. 

This is one of the highest purposes we can serve.  

Just because 76% of people die with the same regret doesn’t mean you will. 

You have, at any time, the opportunity to enter the 24%.

It’s not too late, you’re not too old, you didn’t miss your chance.

Reinvention Reminder: A year from now, you can regret that you didn’t start a year ago or a year from now, you can be in awe at how far you’ve come.

Craig Stanland is a Reinvention Architect & Mindset Coach, TEDx & Keynote Speaker, and the Best-Selling Author of "Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison." He specializes in working with high-achievers who've chased success, money, and status in their 1st half, only to find a success-sized hole in their lives. He helps them tap into their full potential, break free from autopilot, draft a new life blueprint, and connect with their Life's Mission so they can create their extraordinary 2nd half with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Connect with him here

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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