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3 Keys to Getting the Results You Want in Life

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how to get the results you want
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Are you going through a bad patch in your life where you’re not experiencing the kind of results that you desire to experience? Are you feeling stuck in your business and career? The truth is, you are not alone, we all go through the storms of life. The good news is that there is a sure way of getting out of the rut you find yourself in and getting the results you know you are supposed to be getting.

I formulated these 3 keys while I was going through almost a whole year of no income, my businesses were stuck and so was I. It was a hopeless and dry season of my life that I will never forget. In that time, I read over 20 personal development books and attended seminars and webinars because I was hungry for a solution that would help me get unstuck in my business and life.

Now, I run two successful companies, authored 4 books and counting, and I travel and speak all over the world. And, whenever I speak to organizations on “how to break plateaus” the audience gets it and they get to have the solution to getting unstuck and achieving great results.

Here are the 3 keys to getting the results you want in life:

1. A Clear Vision is The Big Picture

The iconic Mona Lisa painting by Leonardo DaVinci is a masterpiece which took him several years to finish. He had a clear vision of what he wanted his painting to look like, long before he painted it and long before it was ever the Mona Lisa.

Likewise, you also need to have a clear vision of what you want to experience in your life. Doing this will allow you to see the bigger picture of your life and it will help you to weather the storms of life, which will come, because your hope is safely anchored onto your bigger picture.

Here are some of the Golden rules to creating a clear vision:

  • Your vision must be clearly defined
  • Your vision must be centered around serving others 
  • Your vision must be written down 
  • Your vision must be recited everyday

“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed, the vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs

2. Goals Are Your Roadmap

There has been a big misconception about what goals are. In fact, a lot of people have used the words “goal” and “vision” interchangeably, so let us clear this up. A goal, in its simplest form, is a means of direction. It is hardly effective when it is standing on its own. Imagine that I invite you to my beautiful home for my 31st birthday party and when you ask me for directions, I simply say “I live in Los Angeles, and my gate is big and black”.

I bet you would think I’m crazy right? Los Angeles is huge. What would be more beneficial is if I had given you my street name and house number at least. Likewise, you need to understand that the goals you are setting are meant to direct you to your end destination (your vision). If your goals are not attached to a bigger picture, then you are simply moving around everywhere and going nowhere.

Here are some golden rules to setting goals:

  • Your goals must be daily, weekly and monthly objectives
  • Your goals must be written down
  • Your goals must, when achieved, bring you closer to your bigger picture
  • Your goals must be recited everyday

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” – Jim Rohn

3. Massive Actions Precede Massive Results

This sounds very cliche but it is a fundamental truth that we sometimes fail to grasp. If we will not do what we ought to do, then we will not experience the results that we desire to experience. The quality of the results we wish to experience is predicated on us taking massive amounts of action in order to have that quality of results. Got it?

Imagine for a moment that you desire to have indestructible abs, so you search for abdominal exercises that will give you the abs you desire. You find one particular exercise that says all you need to do is 50 reps of crunches and 50 reps of sit-ups everyday for the next 3 months. But, instead of doing 50 reps, you do 10 of each and you do it for 10 days straight before you quit.

Do you think that your actions are “indestructible abs” worthy? I don’t think so. I think you would be lucky to get a 1 pack. Likewise, your actions have to be consistent and massive in order for you to achieve the kind of results you desire. There is no substitute for massive and consistent amounts of action.

To get the kind of results you desire to have in your life, you will have to create a clear vision for yourself, set goals which will direct you to your vision and take consistent and massive amounts of action everyday in order to have great results. The rest will be history.

Webster Tsenase helps organizations to break the plateaus holding them back from achieving more. Webster knows what it’s like to feel like you are not enough and worthy of success, he was evicted from his home twice, went through a year without income from his businesses, suffered from rejection and fear and he almost lost all hope. One night he had a dream of his future and it changed his life forever. He then developed his Plateau Breaking Keys and the rest is history. When he isn’t speaking on stage, he’s publishing his client’s books, traveling  and obsessing over super cars. Webster can be contacted on webster@webstertsenase.com or on Instagram @webstertsenase.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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